


A Promise in a Ring

by AdaraLove



Series: Destined Love [2]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 144,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaraLove/pseuds/AdaraLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Washing Rain. Christmas time is approaching and Yamamoto feels that Gokudera is trying to push him away. Yamamoto is determined to find the perfect gift that truly conveys his feelings for the other boy but will Gokudera accept it or run away?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well here it is! This is the first chapter to the sequel of Washing Rain! For old time readers, please enjoy and for new time readers, if you haven’t read the previous story it’s not necessary to read it to understand this one. But I wouldn’t mind if you read the first story all the same lol. That way, you will know my writing style and how Yamamoto and Gokudera came to be a couple in this one. 
> 
> Here are some things that I have to point out before everyone starts reading: 
> 
> Since this is a sequel, I continued to write Gokudera as older than Yamamoto. For any new readers wondering why that is, it’s explained in one of the beginning author notes in Washing Rain. So I hope that doesn’t irritate people but I did it for continuity’s sake. 
> 
> For another point, this story will be centered more on drama than my previous story, so for those who were expecting this story to be cute and light-hearted, I apologize again. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of humorous and cute fluffy moments like in my last story but drama takes more of a forefront since it involves how Yamamoto’s and Gokudera’s relationship has progressed.
> 
> The last point is that this story is rated M for a reason, but for the majority of the story, it will be rated a high Teen because of swearing and suggestive themes.
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone likes this story! This is the re-edited version from the one I have on my fanfiction.net account, so I hope it turned out okay!
> 
> Katekyo Hitman Reborn and its characters do not belong to me, they belong to Amano Akira

A gentle snow descended slowly upon the streets of Namimori, each flake drifting lazily through the slight bitter breeze as they made their way towards the earth, catching upon everything they came in contact with.  People out in the streets couldn’t help but appreciate the beautiful falling crystals as they caught the sun’s light and reflected its soft glow, lighting up the afternoon sky with dazzling abandon. 

Christmas was only a couple weeks away and the streets of Namimori couldn’t be busier for a Sunday afternoon.  Many passersby traveled about the softly powdered streets, covered up in heavy coats, mittens, and scarves in order to brave the cold.  Christmas carols and the sounds of people’s excitement could be heard for miles around. Everyone went about their Christmas shopping or looked through the store windows and flyers, trying to find the perfect gifts for their loved ones before the stores went out of stock.  With so many people about, even the partially residential streets were busy near the ends of the business districts where family shops were set up.

This was definitely the case for the small sushi shop, Takesushi, its inner walls bursting to the brim with customers who were traveling home from their productive shopping trips.  Despite the overabundance of people, the shop kept a calming and friendly atmosphere, even while two men worked frantically behind the counter preparing everyone’s orders and special deliveries.  The two tall, well-built men showed years of practice and expertise as they sliced and molded their family profession without breaking a sweat, even as the orders continued to pile up.  The older of the two looked towards the younger, the laughing lines around his eyes and cheeks defined by an excited and slightly worn smile.

“Isn’t it great how we’re getting such good business, Takeshi?  With the money we’re making we’re definitely going to be eating healthy for Christmas!”

The younger but taller of the two gave the elder his trademark smile, one that mirrored the older man’s perfectly.  “Haha!  Does that mean you’re promising me a feast, Old Man?”

The aforementioned ‘Old Man’ gave his young disciple a competitive glare, confidently brandishing a chopping knife in the younger one’s face.  “Don’t start calling me old yet, Takeshi.  You might be eighteen but this man still has plenty of fight in him!” Just to prove his point, the older man skillfully flipped his knife through the air, caught it with the opposite hand without looking and proceeded to chop the fish he was preparing into perfect slices in under a matter of seconds, the people sitting on the opposite side of the sushi bar clapping in admiration at the skillful display.

The younger man lifted his eyebrow playfully, his eyes reflecting his father’s competitive streak.  “Not bad, Pops, but I can do that, too.”

The younger was preparing to do the exact same thing but was stopped by his father’s ‘no-nonsense’ filled voice.  “Stop being cocky and get back to work, Takeshi!  We have too many customers to help, so we don’t have time for you to be playing with knives!”  Despite his serious attitude, the older, wizened man couldn’t stop the playful smile that spread across his lips.

Takeshi couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his father’s joke and reply with a sarcastic, “Sorry, Dad.”

The older, raven-haired man gave a hearty guffaw, his demeanor in good spirits.  He addressed his son again as he continued to prepare sushi for his customers.  “But seriously, Takeshi, there have been so many customers as of late that I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself when you head off to college in a couple months!”

His son gave him a gentle look, his smile reassuring.  “Don’t worry, Pops, you’ll do fine.  You just have to hire outside the family, haha!”

Yamamoto Senior’s reply was gruff with certainty, his eyes solely focused on chopping up another fish in front of him.  “Heh, it’s not as easy as it sounds, Takeshi.  Kids today have no work ethic!  In my day…”

The younger Yamamoto gave his dad a hesitant look, already tuning out his father’s ‘old man ramblings.’  “You know, Dad,” Takeshi interrupted gently, his father unperturbed by the interruption and giving his son his full attention.  “It’s not so bad to hire new hands.  Its worked out pretty well so far, hasn’t it?”

With that said, both men automatically turned their eyes in the direction of the restaurant tables were a silver-haired ponytail could be seen bobbing amongst the numerous guests.   Takeshi couldn’t help but blush slightly as he watched his boyfriend move from table to table handing out sushi platters and taking down orders.  Gokudera looked so adorable with his hair tied up!  The tall athlete couldn’t help but love the rest of the smaller boy’s ensemble also.  The older teen sported a green Takesushi apron that had a lower pocket for his order notebook and pencil, but being the sophisticated rebel that he was, Gokudera opted to place his pencil behind his right ear (which Takeshi thought added to his cuteness), a red shirt, tight black jeans and, of course, his usual rings, necklaces and bracelets.  Yes indeed, his Gokudera looked hot!  **_Adorably_** hot!  And the love-struck Takeshi could do nothing but openly stare at the other’s spicy cuteness.

As if he could feel the other’s eyes on him, Gokudera turned and delivered an icy glare towards the tall baseball player for eyeing him up so openly.  Takeshi could only laugh nervously in response as he deciphered the antagonistic message behind Gokudera’s icy green depths.  He really shouldn’t be checking Gokudera out in front of so many people, especially his dad.  They both had decided to keep their relationship a secret from everyone, and that secret had been going strong for practically a year now.  It would really be a waist to ruin all of that now with his shameless ogling.  Thankfully, his father hadn’t been paying attention to his reactions towards Gokudera, because the older man was too busy eyeing the other teen as well, watching his progress from table to table with a hint of pride in his eyes.

“I guess you’re right, Takeshi,” the professional sushi chef admitted after a short silence.  “Gokudera has been a good addition to our team but it was quite a bumpy ride at the beginning!”

Takeshi couldn’t help but reminisce at his father’s words.  He had been the one to ask his father for a position for Gokudera.  The young Italian had been having financial troubles for a while now, and Yamamoto had been helping him as best as he could by buying groceries and fixing the other boy dinner on occasion.  It was only natural for Takeshi to think that if Gokudera could get a part-time position somewhere that it would help the smaller teen out but…well…Gokudera had a rotten personality when it came to working with people he didn’t know (heck, who was he kidding. It was the same case for people he did know!).  The tall athlete thought the only likely option was for Gokudera to get a job where one of his friends worked.  So, since his father knew Gokudera from his frequent visits to the shop, and since he absolutely loved the idea of the feisty Italian working in the same place as him, Takeshi was able to convince his dad into taken Gokudera in and showing him the ropes.

It was one of the worst ideas he had ever conceived.

Gokudera was not made for customer service.  Actually, now that he thought about it, Yamamoto was pretty sure that Gokudera had never heard of that word in his entire life, because the grey-haired teen was one of the **_worst_** waiters he had ever seen.  He was rude to the customers and blamed whatever mistakes he made on them, he was constantly griping about everything, and he didn’t hesitate to throw food at any kids who looked at him funny.  Because of the Hurricane Bomb’s terrible attitude, the Yamamoto’s had lost a ton of business.  Takeshi remembered begging Gokudera to behave whenever they worked but the silver-haired teen would hear none of it, blaming the customers for being rude to him when it was obviously the other way around.  It wasn’t until Yamamoto Senior gave the older boy a stern talking to that Gokudera showed any improvement. 

The silver-haired teen had been very upset over the talk with Tsuyoshi, even though the man hadn’t even raised his voice to yell at him.  It was probably because of that fact that the little bomber had taken the situation so badly.  He finally realized that he was being terrible to the people who were doing everything they could to help him, and that he deserved to be yelled at, but all he received were disappointed looks.  It also didn’t help that Takeshi had begun to notice how much Gokudera actually respected his dad and had started looking up to him as an actual father figure, so getting the lecture from the older man had been devastating to the smaller teen.

It took some effort to get Gokudera back up from the depression that had overcome him but, when he came back to work, he put all of his effort into improving himself; which wouldn’t have been a bad thing if Gokudera hadn’t taken his improvement so seriously.  The silver-haired Italian tried too hard in trying to better himself, which made him become almost as overbearing as he had been when he was a complete ass to everyone in the store.  It took another talking to from his dad (this time, a more reassuring conversation than a disappointed one) for the young storm guardian to calm down enough to act normal around people.  From there, Gokudera continued to improve and matured into a waiter that both Takeshi and his father could be proud of.

Of course, that didn’t stop Gokudera’s usual personality from popping up whenever a bad customer made their presence known.  

Speaking of bad customers, while Takeshi was reminiscing, one of their regulars had just entered the store.  The young raven-haired teen couldn’t help but stiffen at the sight of the ornery old woman as she took a seat at the nearest table in the back of the restaurant.  Takeshi had no idea what that lady had against them but every time she came in she would always complain about the food and cause a ruckus until his dad would give her a discount.  Not only that, she also tended to give Takeshi threatening death glares for no apparent reason, and she constantly hassled Gokudera until he would yell at her (which didn’t take too long, mind you).  The arguments between her and Gokudera would get so heated that it would scare customers out of the store, dishes would **_undoubtedly_** be thrown and broken, and, more than likely, one of the customers would call the police (they had been their three times in the past three months).

True to Takeshi’s thoughts, the old woman spotted him and gave him her signature death glare from across the room (it was **_nothing_** compared to Gokudera’s).  It was here that Takeshi’s dad noticed the old lady’s presence, too.

“Oh crap!” The older man whispered under his breath, his eyes wide with panic. “She’s here again!”  He quickly glanced toward his taller son, his eyes still panicking but now with a hint of desperation.  “What are you doing just standing there, Takeshi?!  This is a Code G!  I repeat, a Code G!”  And with that, he hurriedly pushed his son out from behind the sushi bar.

Finally wakening from his stupor at seeing the old woman, Takeshi didn’t lose anytime and started moving towards the direction he saw Gokudera last.  He had to get to him before the old woman would call the silver-haired teen over or else chaos would ensue.  After all, Code G stood for: Grumpy Grandma; get Gokudera away immediately.

To Takeshi’s misfortune, the shop was so packed at the moment that it was practically impossible to move amongst the crowded tables without jostling someone, which slowed the tan, raven-haired boy down considerably.  Because of that, he was too late in accomplishing his mission.  The breaking of china could be overheard even amongst the noisy din of the overcrowded restaurant.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked towards where they had heard the dishes drop to see a very angry silver-haired waiter and a very smug looking wrinkly old lady.

“What the hell did you say to me, you old bat?!” Gokudera shouted directly into the old woman’s face, his eyes burning with a blazing fire.

“You heard me, you uncouth, bad mouthed, punk!”  The old lady yelled back in retaliation as she waved her walking stick dramatically in the air, which came dangerously close to smacking Gokudera in the face.

“You fucking bitch!!”  Were the last words that left the young Italian’s mouth before he lunged for the older crabby woman.  Thankfully, Takeshi hadn’t wasted any time after hearing the dishes crash to the floor.  He was able to maneuver past the crowded tables to the end of the restaurant and put his arms underneath Gokudera’s shoulders and pull back, effectively restraining the feisty teen from doing unspeakable harm to the old crone, which hopefully stopped the possibilities for a lawsuit.

“Let me go, Yamamoto!” Gokudera yelled vehemently to his restrainer, his eyes dangerous and bloodthirsty.  “I’m going to kill that bitch once and for all!”

“There will be none of that, Gokudera-kun,” Yamamoto Tsuyoshi said as he stepped up to the table and stood between the still flailing Gokudera (who, according to Takeshi, was giving a wet bar of soap a run for its money, because it was becoming more and more difficult to just hold the older teen back from going on a murderous rampage) and the angry old woman who was now using her walking stick to repeatedly jab Tsuyoshi in the back.  “Takeshi, get a better hold on him, drag him to the kitchen, and help him cool down!”  The older man ground out in aggravation as he took the old woman’s measly prods to his back. 

With a silent nod, Takeshi somehow got a better hold on the squirming silver-haired boy and actually lifted him off the ground.  The teen continued to flail even when he felt his feet leave the floor, his eyes still dead set on the old woman who was now in a heated argument with old man Yamamoto.  Even with Gokudera now constantly kicking him in the legs (and coming dangerously close to a certain area, might he add) Takeshi started making his way across the room to the kitchen in the corner, the customers thankfully moving out of the way before they got kicked as well.  It seemed like an eternity but the taller, black-haired teen was finally able to enter the kitchen, toss Gokudera unceremoniously onto the floor, and immediately rush back to close and lock the Japanese styled kitchen door.

Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck rise, Takeshi swiftly turned around to catch a wild silver-haired Italian who tried to get past him. 

“Calm down, Gokudera!” Takeshi strained out while he held the smaller teen back.  “What did she say to you this time to make you react this way?!”

“That bitch!” Was Gokudera’s short reply as he tried in vain to get past his taller boyfriend.  “She somehow figured out my heritage and insulted me for it! I don’t care about my father but I won’t forgive her for insulting my mother!”

Takeshi’s eyes shone in understanding as he managed to secure Gokudera’s hands in his own, effectively stopping the smaller teen from beating on him but, sadly, didn’t stop him from thrashing in order to get free.  “I’m sorry that she said that, Gokudera.  I’ll talk to my father about getting a restraining order on her or something but you have to calm down.  You’ll just make things worse for everyone if you hurt her.”

The taller teen’s reassuring words were met with deaf ears as Gokudera promptly told him to ‘go fuck himself’ and continued to try and reach the door.  Seeing as there was no way that Gokudera was actually going to listen to him, Yamamoto decided to go with Plan B.  Mustering all of his reserved strength, he let go of Gokudera’s hands and pushed him back into the big wooden counter in the middle of the room.  Feeling the edge of the counter dig into his back, Gokudera’s eyes widened in surprise and, before he could question his idiot of a boyfriend on what was going on, his own lips were met with another’s.  Gokudera’s jade-green eyes widened even further as the warmth of Yamamoto’s lips and the taste of mint and sushi pervaded his senses.  The kiss didn’t stop the older teen from fighting back, though.  His body was pumped up with so much adrenaline that it was going to take more than a chaste kiss to stop him!

Of course, Yamamoto already knew that.  When he felt his boyfriend’s stiff form revert back to its prior activity, Yamamoto put the next part of his plan into action.  With the delicacy of a master, he easily parted the other’s lips and slipped his tongue into Gokudera’s warm mouth, tasting the smoky bitterness that accompanied it.  Naturally, the small Italian fought back as much with his tongue as his body at the intrusion, spurting moans of protest into his captor’s mouth.  Ignoring his smaller companion’s pleas, Yamamoto concentrated on finding what he was looking for, closing his eyes in the process as he tried to find a certain spot by feel alone. 

To Yamamoto’s (and Gokudera’s) pleasure, he found the spot he was looking for within seconds, which rendered the silver-haired bomber completely useless.  The smaller teen’s body practically turned into jelly against Yamamoto’s, the taller teen having to quickly wrap his arms around the smaller one’s frame in order to keep him standing.  Feeling the warmth of the supporting arms around him, Gokudera shakily lifted his hands to clutch the front of Yamamoto’s shirt to pull him closer into the kiss, his eyes shutting in bliss at the feeling; the once feral cat becoming nothing more than a purring kitten.    Yamamoto continued to skillfully massage the other boy’s mouth, his tongue lapping continuously over the spot that made his Gokudera come undone every time.  Said smaller teen moaned in ecstasy at the loving treatment, practically melting in the warmth that spread all over his body, and completely forgetting why he was angry in the first place, if just for a little bit. 

It was times like these that Takeshi marveled at how far his relationship with Gokudera had gone.  They had been going out for almost a year now and their familiarity with each other had increased along with that time.  For instance, they knew each other’s week spots (like the one in Gokudera’s mouth) and what turned the other on.  They had also slept in the same bed many times (even though it took a lot of convincing on Yamamoto’s part in order for it to happen) but nothing too drastic had ever come of it.  ‘Too drastic’ meant they had never gone all the way.  The most either of them had done in the sexual sense were with their hands and mouth (the last one only on Yamamoto’s part.  Gokudera fiercely refused to do it on the grounds of it being completely disgusting), which also didn’t happen too often, because Gokudera tended to get uncomfortable whenever they got too frisky with each other.  Even though they had slept in the same bed, and had even showered together plenty of times for the smaller teen to be comfortable with him, he just never seemed to want to go the extra step.  He always seemed to be frightened of something whenever Yamamoto brought it up or when they were in the heat of the moment, and the smaller teen would stop the conversation or actions before they got too out of hand.  Gokudera even went so far as to refuse calling each other by a first name basis even when they were alone.  So even though their relationship had progressed drastically, Yamamoto still felt like Gokudera was forcing it to stay at a stand still and refusing to budge. 

All Yamamoto wanted to do was to love Gokudera completely and with no restrictions.  He thought that they would both be happier than they had ever been with each other if they took the next step, but he didn’t want to push the other, either.  If he pushed too hard, Gokudera would undoubtedly run away from him; if his actions towards their relationship weren’t already heading in that direction.  That’s what Yamamoto feared the most.  He had loved Gokudera for so long now.  Just knowing what it felt like to hold him in his arms, to be near him; the thought of losing him or for the smaller teen to not want him anymore tore him apart. 

As that last thought registered in the back of his mind, Yamamoto showed his defiance by lowering his hands from around Gokudera’s waist.  He wouldn’t let Gokudera think about walking away from him if he could help it!  Ever so slowly, the tanned, calloused hands made their way down to splay across Gokudera’s backside, giving the boy a gentle squeeze through his tight jeans.  A shocked gasped emanated from the small bomber’s throat which was quickly replaced by a moan as Yamamoto continued to rub his tongue against his sensitive spot while simultaneous massaging his clothed backside.  When Gokudera lifted his legs to wrap around the tall baseball player’s waist on instinct, it took all of Yamamoto’s will power to not start grinding against the smaller teen; he didn’t want to scare him away.  After all, Gokudera was like a cat; he had to make the smaller one believe that it was **_his_** idea to initiate.   

Still holding onto Gokudera’s butt, Yamamoto placed the smaller boy on the counter behind them, making it easier for them to continue their little make out session.  Yamamoto broke off their kiss a little later, though, much to Gokudera’s annoyance, the other whining almost inaudibly at the loss of heat.  The taller teen just gave his lover a playful smirk before showering the grey-haired boy’s jaw line with soft kisses, slowly trailing his way down to Gokudera’s neck.  There, the raven-haired teen began nibbling and sucking on the exposed flesh, Gokudera unconsciously tilting his head to the side to give his tall boyfriend better access, his breath beginning to quicken.

“ _Yamamoto_ …” the silver-haired storm guardian moaned out breathlessly, closing his eyes in rapture as the taller teen continued to caress his neck with his teeth and tongue.  Yamamoto responded to the sound of his name with a shudder and moan into his boyfriend’s exposed skin. Throwing caution to the wind, Yamamoto started to gently grind against Gokudera, who still had his legs wrapped around his waist, whispering the other one’s name with need.

At the feeling of the other one rubbing up against him, Gokudera was stuck between grinding back for pleasure’s sake and panicking at what might happen next.  Before the young Italian could stress out about the situation and where it was turning, though, there was a knock on the kitchen door.

“Hey, Takeshi, I was able to get that old woman to leave.  Has Gokudera-kun calmed down yet?”

Hearing his father’s voice from the opposite side of the room brought Yamamoto’s actions to a standstill.  Both teens were frozen in their positions as they stared at the door in shock, their eyes rounding in fear.

“Uh….y-yeah, Dad, w-we’ll be right out!” Yamamoto practically yelped after he had finally found his voice. 

The two teens quickly disentangled themselves from each other and tried to make themselves look presentable again, Gokudera hopping off the counter in the process.  Yamamoto couldn’t help but send the energetic storm guardian an apologetic look for losing control a second ago and Gokudera couldn’t help but blush profusely in return, both hoping beyond hope that Tsuyoshi hadn’t heard them from the other side of the door.

\----

As the two teens returned to work, Yamamoto Senior didn’t show any signs of overhearing what had transpired in his kitchen, much to the two boys’ relief, and he also didn’t seem to notice that Gokudera had little red marks on his neck from where Yamamoto had been biting him. The taller teen never thought he would be hopeful that his father’s eye sight might be going bad but he was still happy that the older man didn’t take any notice of the marks, even though the customers were now giving Gokudera strange looks. The silver-haired teen, of course, ignored them and continued to do his job.  Now that the old woman was gone, everyone was able to go back to what they were doing with no fuss, and Gokudera couldn’t help but be thankful for the distraction that work brought him. He didn’t want to think about what had almost happened.

What he was **_afraid_** would happen.

Despite his scared and jumbled thoughts, Gokudera continued to do his work without complaint until the last customers filed out of the restaurant.  Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about his relationship with Yamamoto.  He had other pressing issues to think about like not being late for a scheduled meeting at the Tenth’s house.  After all, it wasn’t right for the right-hand man to be late to a meeting; in fact, he should be the first one there!  Of course, if he looked at it realistically, there was no way that he was going to be the first to arrive because of his second job at the sushi shop (which he was thankful for money wise, but the Tenth had to come first!). 

Growling at his misfortune in irritation, Gokudera started to help close down the shop by wiping off the tables and mopping the floor, because he wasn’t allowed to touch the sushi or clean the dishes for some reason unknown to him.  Once he was done with his tasks, he followed Yamamoto around, pestering the tall baseball player to close faster so that they wouldn’t insult the Tenth by being late.  Of course, all Yamamoto did was smile serenely at him and tell him that everything would be fine as he went about doing his closing routine at a normal pace (which was still fast mind you, just not fast enough for a restless Gokudera’s liking).  After a few curses in Italian and a slap upside the head, Yamamoto picked up the pace a little bit.

Seeing this little argument unfold before him, Tsuyoshi couldn’t help but chuckle.  “If it’s so important to go and meet up with Tsuna-kun, then go right ahead, Takeshi.  I can manage to close down the rest of the shop; there’s not that much left anyway.”

At hearing this, Gokudera couldn’t help but shower Yamamoto Senior with an enthusiastically grateful smile (one’s he would usually shower his precious Tenth with).  “Really?!” The smaller teen exclaimed in excitement, bowing down to the older man he thought of as a father to show his respect.  “Thank you so much, Yamamoto-san!” 

Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at Gokudera’s reaction.  He was thrilled that Gokudera respected his dad but he always wondered why the young bomber would never look at him like that.  He quickly looked away from the spectacle and continued washing the dishes.  There wasn’t much left, so he thought it would be more practical to finish them and then leave the rest up to his dad. 

Sadly, Gokudera didn’t see it that way.  With a drastic change in personality, the happy and respectful teen turned into an irritated grouch.  Seeing the taller teen ignore his dad and continue doing his job when they had to go meet the Tenth at that very moment, pissed the silver-haired bomber off to no end.    With a quick kick to the shin and another slap upside the head, Gokudera was in full bitch mode and laying it full force on an unsuspecting Yamamoto.  “Hey!  Your father said we could go!  Get your ass into gear, Baseball Idiot; we can’t keep the Tenth waiting!”

And with that, Gokudera stomped out of the kitchen in all of his grumpy glory, leaving a slightly put off Yamamoto and his laughing father in his wake.

“You have one interesting friend there, Takeshi!”  His father couldn’t help but comment as he chuckled about the boys’ previous interaction.

Yamamoto just sighed in response.  He loved Gokudera, he really did; it was just hard to handle him sometimes.  It didn’t help matters much when Gokudera was sending him mixed signals concerning their relationship to the point where Yamamoto didn’t know where he really stood with the other.  One moment they would be happy and loving (okay, maybe loving was a stretch on Gokudera’s part, but he still responded to his touches positively.  Their actions in the kitchen were proof of that!) and the next, Gokudera would be yelling at him, pushing him around, and doing everything in his power to stay away from him.  Quite frankly, it got depressing after awhile. 

Deciding to listen to his gut feeling and stop doing the dishes before Gokudera tried to blow him up for delaying their departure any further, Yamamoto dried his hands on a nearby hand towel and took off his work apron, hanging it up next to Gokudera’s.  He then looked towards his father, who had taken his place at the kitchen sink, and gave him a reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.  “I’m not sure how long I’ll be at Tsuna’s but we’re having dinner over there.  I probably won’t be home until later.”

Yamamoto’s father gave an affirmative grunt in response to show he was listening, his eyes completely focused on the dishes in front of him.  “Okay.  Just make sure you’re not out too late.  You have classes tomorrow, remember?”

Yamamoto rubbed his head sheepishly at the reminder, almost forgetting that little fact.  “Oh yeah, hahaha! I keep forgetting we don’t have classes off until the 25th.  All this Christmas talk is setting me up for vacation time, haha!”

Tsuyoshi just shook his head at his son’s mindset, wondering if the boy would actually remember to go to his classes when he went off to college and he wasn’t there to remind him. Those worrying thoughts aside, Yamamoto Senior finally looked at his forgetful son and gave him his best smile. “Just have fun, Takeshi, and don’t keep Gokudera-kun waiting anymore.  He might throw another fit.”  

Yamamoto laughed at the reminder, his mood in much better spirits than it had been moments ago, and left the kitchen duties to his father.  As he left the kitchen and said his final goodbyes, Yamamoto walked up to the entryway where Gokudera was just starting to put on his winter coat and mittens, his hair now down and out of it’s ponytail in order to protect his ears from the cold winter chill waiting for them outside.  When he heard the taller boy approaching, the grumpy Italian couldn’t help but send him another irritated glare.  “What the hell kept you so long?!”

The well tanned athlete laughed sheepishly again, rubbing the back of his neck nervously at the murderous glare his boyfriend was sending his way.  “Sorry, we were just exchanging the usual information. You know, the ‘don’t stay out too late’ spiel.”

“Ah,” was Gokudera’s short reply towards Yamamoto’s excuse, not really caring now that he had heard it, so he continued to adjust his coat and put on his mittens.  His mind quickly changed to the more pressing thought of why the Tenth wanted everyone to meet up at his house for dinner.  Just what was going on? 

The silver-haired bomber was so distracted with his thoughts that he didn’t know his scarf was gone when he absentmindedly reached for it on the coat rack.  When his hands only met empty air, the small teen blinked in confusion, his previous thoughts quickly vanishing to be replaced with slight annoyance.  He really didn’t need this right now.  The Tenth was waiting for him and now he couldn’t find his scarf!  What the hell?!  It was chilly out there and he needed his scarf so that he wouldn’t catch a cold!  After all, a good right-hand man had to show no weaknesses, and getting sick was definitely considered weak!

With that thought in mind, Gokudera began frantically scanning the area for the missing scarf, his eyes quickly catching sight of the green fabric being held in the calloused hand of an already dressed Yamamoto Takeshi. 

Gokudera felt his blood begin to boil.

“Just what the hell are you doing with my scarf, you idiot?!” Gokudera yelled in exasperation as he took in the sight of his bundled up boyfriend, that stupid constant smile of his never leaving his face.

“Haha, sorry, Gokudera.  You just seemed so distracted that I thought I would help you put it on.  You want to get to Tsuna’s as soon as possible, right?” The taller teen offered with a sincere smile, his eyes staring down into Gokudera’s hopefully.

The suggestion left Gokudera flustered and embarrassed.  He wasn’t a child!  “What the hell, Yamamoto?!  I don’t need help putting on my scarf!  I’m not a fucking baby!”

Yamamoto quickly brought his hands up in a placating manner.  Trying to calm the other down before his voice got too loud and his dad would come out to investigate.  “Now, now, Gokudera, I wasn’t trying to give the impression that you were helpless.  I just…” The taller athlete paused and looked away from the angry teen, a small blush adorning his face.  “…I just wanted to put your scarf on for you.  Is that too much to ask?”

Now it was Gokudera’s turn to blush.  Leave it to Yamamoto to want to do something ridiculous.  The smaller teen felt the heat in his cheeks spread to the rest of his face as he pictured Yamamoto wrapping the scarf around him with that usually adorable smile of his that made the silver-haired bomber want to melt and punch him in the face at the same time. 

At the older boy’s silence, Yamamoto couldn’t help but look at Gokudera now, his eyes imploring as he took in the other boy’s massive blush.  “Please, Gokudera?”  He asked with a hint of pleading in his voice.  He knew he was being a little ridiculous about just wanting to help the other boy bundle up but Yamamoto just wanted to get a better idea of what Gokudera thought of him.  If the smaller teen wouldn’t let him do something so simple, then what did that mean for him?  Would that prove that Gokudera was starting to lose interest in him and was only into this relationship for the physical pleasure—or of what little physical pleasure there actually was?  The young Rain Guardian couldn’t help but notice Gokudera starting to stare off into space earlier and, in fact, Gokudera had been doing that so much recently he was starting to become paranoid over it, wondering if the young bomber was thinking about breaking their relationship off.  So seeing the other boy begin to drift off into thought had stirred something in Yamamoto to steal the boy’s scarf, to try and stop the other from thinking, if just for a little bit.

He hated how desperate and pathetic it made him feel.

Sadly, Yamamoto’s pleading only seemed to irritate Gokudera more.  “You’re an idiot!  What if your dad comes out and sees us?!”  Gokudera whispered harshly, his viridian eyes full of panic at the thought of Tsuyoshi’s face if he saw them doing something slightly romantic.

“Don’t worry, he won’t see us.  He’s busy in the kitchen at the moment and won’t be out for a while,” Yamamoto reassured almost desperately, his soft light-brown eyes boring into Gokudera’s green.  “Just…please, Gokudera, just this once.”

The older Italian’s eyes widened in shock upon seeing such an open and raw look on Yamamoto’s face, the taller boy’s eyes overcome with desperation and a hint of insecurity.  Gokudera felt his heart pang painfully in his chest at the sight, feeling slightly guilty for causing such a scene over something so small and for putting that look onto the Japanese teen’s face.  After a short debate with his pride, Gokudera finally consented with a short nod of his head.  “Fine, just…don’t show any public displays of affection once we get outside and when we’re at the Tenth’s house!” He blurted out in his still flustered state, shocked that he was actually doing something so cutesy with Yamamoto.

The look of relief that flashed across Yamamoto’s face almost made this embarrassing act worth it.  **_Almost_**.

“Thank you, Gokudera,” the raven-haired boy said softly, his eyes shining compassionately down on his beloved little Italian; the smaller boy blushing profusely in response.  With slow, gentle movements, Yamamoto set to wrapping the scarf around Gokudera’s neck with care, making sure not to wrap the fabric around too tight but to make sure it was secure enough to stay in place. After making sure the dull green scarf was wound safely around the other’s neck and that he wasn’t uncomfortable, Yamamoto brought the still blushing bomber into his arms, holding the other securely against him and giving him a quick peck on the forehead.

“See?  That wasn’t so bad, was it?” The taller teen asked sweetly as he stared into his boyfriends embarrassed green eyes with all the love in the world.

Gokudera couldn’t stand it when Yamamoto looked at him like that.  His gut would twist so uncomfortably and his stomach would feel like it was trying to jump out of his mouth.  In his embarrassment, he held onto the front of the taller boy’s blue winter jacket, not meeting the other’s eyes.  “I-Idiot. Stop acting stupid before your dad comes in and sees us…”

The other teen just laughed good-naturedly, squeezing Gokudera tighter.  “Sorry, Gokudera.  I just won’t be able to touch you for the rest of the night, so I wanted to get as much in as possible.”

Gokudera was aggravated that the blush he currently wore never seemed to leave his face.  He finally glanced up into Yamamoto’s now smiling face and almost wished he hadn’t.  That smile was so contagious that the silver-haired teen couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his lips in return.  That almost unnoticeable smile was all Yamamoto needed before he started to lean down, trying to capture the other’s lips with his own.  Gokudera almost got caught up in the moment himself before he remembered that they had to get moving now if they wanted to arrive at the Tenth’s at a presentable time. 

With almost hesitant fingers, the little 3/4-Italian stopped his taller friend’s advances by placing them on his lips.  Now was not the time to get carried away.  “We really need to go, Yamamoto,” Gokudera spoke softly, his eyes becoming saddened with the knowledge that Yamamoto would probably be upset with his actions.

Thankfully, Yamamoto took the other’s reaction in stride.  He brought his hand up to the fingers still placed on his lips and grasped them, kissing the cloth covered digits softly before he brought the other’s hand down with his own.  “Yeah, we should probably head out.”

After showing Gokudera that he wasn’t disappointed with another consoling look, Yamamoto let go of the little bomber and opened the restaurant door. Giving one final call to his dad that they were leaving, the two boys left the establishment and started walking towards Tsuna’s, a strange atmosphere hovering over the two boys’ heads.

\----

The walk to Tsuna’s was a silent one, the only form of company the boys had were the setting sun and the other’s presence.  Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as he glanced over at his companion.  He would love nothing more than to open up conversation but…well…he just didn’t know what to say at the moment.  Gokudera was off in his own world again, deep in thought and looking rather depressed about it.  What could he say?  Gokudera had looked that way the moment they left the restaurant; no, the moment he had tried to kiss him.  The silver-haired teen wasn’t depressed when they were making out in the kitchen earlier, so why would he be so saddened after he tried to kiss him again?  It just didn’t make sense!  He didn’t want Gokudera to be sad, and he definitely didn’t like Gokudera’s recent brainstorming sessions either.  The boy always seemed like he was unhappy whenever he decided to do them.  What could he do to change Gokudera’s mood?

While Yamamoto was worrying about how to cheer Gokudera up, the silver-haired bomber was deep within the recesses of his own thoughts.  Much to the smaller teen’s annoyance, Yamamoto’s romantic actions before they left had stirred up his thoughts on their current relationship; the topic that he didn’t want to think about at the moment because he should be focusing on the Tenth.  But, no matter what he did now, all he could think about was Yamamoto and how the idiot made him feel happy; complete.

And that thought scared him to no end.

The fiery teen had never been one to open himself to others but Yamamoto had come into his life somewhere along the line and dug under his skin with the persistence of a tick to its host.  And, as much as it annoyed him, as much as it made him uncomfortable, Gokudera couldn’t help but leave the persistent idiot to his own devices.  Because of that, he had found himself opening up to someone else besides his mother, besides the boss and friend that he worshipped, and he had learned to care for the idiotic baseball player.  He had let his guard down, he had purposely lowered his walls and allowed the taller teen to care for him because, deep down, he wanted to know what it felt like to be cared for in that way.

To be loved.

And he had gotten his wish.  But what’s more, he knew that he felt the same way for Yamamoto as the raven-haired boy did for him.  When they were together, everything just felt right, and he had let the taller boy do things to him that he would **_never_** let anyone try to do in a million years.

That **_terrified_** him.

His relationship with Yamamoto had progressed to the point where Yamamoto wanted to take the next step, to completely share themselves with each other.  The dark-haired rain guardian wanted all of Gokudera, and the silver-haired storm guardian was too afraid to give in to that request.  To do as the taller teen wanted meant that Gokudera had to completely submit himself to the other, to let all of his walls down and embrace what their relationship was, what it truly meant to both of them.

And he couldn’t do that. 

The thought of letting himself care more for Yamamoto than he already did absolutely terrified him because that would mean he would have something greater to lose.  Their current line of profession consisted of violence and death lying around every corner, where there were no guarantees that you would live to see the next day no matter where you were; even in your own home.  If Gokudera allowed himself to indulge in this romantic fantasy, and Yamamoto was to be killed, then where would that leave him?  What would he do?  Honestly, the very thought of it made it hard for him to breath, hard for him to think, and a growing pain would rise in his chest until it escalated to an almost unbearable point and leave an empty hollow feeling in its wake.

He **_despised_** that feeling.

Gokudera had been thinking about this for a long time and, every time it happened, he would end up feeling like nothing more than a shell; something that could easily be disposed of and replaced.

It made him feel **_weak_**.

And he **_loathed_** that feeling above no other.  If he was weak, he could never be considered for the right-hand man position.  If he was weak, he wouldn’t be cut out for the mafia at all!  It was the strong that lived to see another day while the weak were left to bleed their life away in the cold uncaring streets. 

That, sadly, brought up another point.  If people from other families were to find out that the Vongola Tenth’s most trusted men were in a relationship with each other, it could only bring shame to the Vongola name.  There was nothing right about his and Yamamoto’s relationship.  It was strange and unnatural from the get go and looked down upon in practically every society.  Yamamoto and him shouldn’t be in a relationship, no, they **_couldn’t_** be in a relationship.  It would only end in disaster!  He knew this but every time he thought about breaking it off with the taller boy, that hollow feeling would show up again, and every time he actually tried to muster up courage to break it off with Yamamoto face to face, the idiot would smile at him and his insides would automatically turn to mush.  Hell, the very thought of Yamamoto’s hurt and heartbroken face if he mentioned the break up upset him to such a great degree that Gokudera just couldn’t live with himself if he went through with it.

He didn’t **_want_** to break up with Yamamoto, and that’s what scared him the most.

All these depressing thoughts had taken their toll on Gokudera, wearing his patience thinner than what it already was, and shot his nerves to hell.  He found himself stuck between not wanting to be away from Yamamoto but knowing it was probably best for the both of them that they didn’t see each other anymore.  The stress of the situation was so great that Gokudera had found himself taking his frustrations out on the very person who was causing them in the first place, and seeing Yamamoto so sad and unsure because of that only upset him more.  The young Italian didn’t know what to do anymore, and he found himself thinking that he truly didn’t deserve the love and devotion that Yamamoto showered him with on a daily basis when he hardly gave anything in return. 

Yamamoto deserved so much better than him.  That idiot would be happier without him and his constant pissy attitude, his inability to show affection, and his downright violent tendencies.

Gokudera suddenly found it hard to breathe. 

As if a bolt of lightning had struck him, the young Italian woke up from his dazed thoughts to see the moving sidewalk beneath his feet and his worrying companion beside him.  Gokudera was then quick to realize that Yamamoto had been calling his name for the past couple minutes, asking if he was okay.  The older teen couldn’t even bring himself to look at the taller rain guardian, much less address him.  He was too ashamed of his previous thoughts.  Noticing that his hands were shaking and that the hollow feeling that usually accompanied his depressing thoughts was starting to rear its ugly head, Gokudera did the only thing he knew would calm him down.

With much fumbling, Gokudera was finally able to locate his cigarette box in his coat pocket and his lighter.  A couple flicks of the little device was all it took to give the young Italian his much needed nicotine fix, his nerves finally calming down enough for him to ignore the hollow feeling and his jitteriness.

While this was going on, Yamamoto was looking on at Gokudera in disapproval.  He had been monitoring the smaller teen closely for most of their walk and it seemed that whatever Gokudera had been thinking about was beginning to cause him great pain.  Yamamoto became worried for the other, and had called out to him several times, but Gokudera had been so deep in thought that he didn’t even respond to his voice.  Then, just when he knew his voice had finally reached Gokudera, the other boy purposefully ignored him and started to smoke in front of him.  What’s worse is that Gokudera knew that Yamamoto **_hated_** it when he smoked. 

Feeling deeply offended by Gokudera’s attitude and his bipolar tendencies towards him within the past couple of months, Yamamoto didn’t think twice in taking the cigarette from a now calmer Gokudera’s lips and smashing it against the nearest wall, effectively putting it out.  Since Gokudera never expected such an action to occur, he blinked in confusion at the feeling of the waxy paper going missing.  Quickly figuring out what had transpired, the smoking bomber turned his attention towards a disapproving Yamamoto; the young Italian’s eyes alit with fury.

“Just what the fuck was that for?!”  The smaller teen screamed furiously, demanding the other to answer before he decided to blow him up.  Did that idiot know how much those things cost?!

Yamamoto continued to look at the other disapprovingly, his eyes almost becoming a glare.  “You really need to stop smoking, Gokudera.  The only thing they are doing is killing you.”

“Bull-fucking-shit!” The smaller teen disagreed.  “I need my cigarettes to light my dynamite more efficiently.  I can’t be constantly trying to light one with my lighter!”

“That may be,” Yamamoto conceded, his disapproving glare not lessening in the slightest.  “But you don’t need to smoke outside of battle.  They can **_kill_** you, Gokudera!”

“Why does it matter if they can kill me when we could die any minute anyway?!” Gokudera screamed back with a note of unwanted hysteria in his voice, one of the thoughts that had been plaguing him recently coming to the forefront. 

Yamamoto’s hazel-brown eyes widened in shock at the other’s statement, his disapproving look quickly replaced with a deeply concerned one.  “Gokudera, what—”

“—Che! What does it matter anyway?” The young Italian quickly interrupted, not wanting to talk to Yamamoto about his inner thoughts at the moment, if ever.  “It’s none of your fucking business if I smoke or not!”

Yamamoto was taken aback by that, his caramel orbs flashing with hurt.  “What?  Of course it’s my business, Gokudera!  You’re my boyfriend!”

Gokudera jumped at the other’s exclamation, his fear about the conversation quickly turning into anger.  “You idiot!  Don’t shout that so loud!  Do you want the whole fucking neighborhood to hear?!”

The look of hurt never left Yamamoto’s face even when the other began yelling at him.  He was too upset to really care about being too loud.  The taller teen didn’t like it when Gokudera smoked because he knew that they did more harm than they did good.  It was bad enough that they were in the mafia and that Gokudera could, like the smaller teen had said, die at any moment. Gokudera didn’t need the added bonus of smoking a cancer stick.  But, sadly, Yamamoto already knew that he could never get Gokudera to quit.  The older teen had been smoking since he was ten, and now he was eighteen.  It would practically be an impossible habit to quit, not to mention that Gokudera had too much pride running in his veins, and he would always try to defy Yamamoto whenever he could. 

The younger, dark-haired teen didn’t want to resort to such a tactic but he felt he really didn’t have a choice.  “You know that Tsuna wants you to quit smoking, too.”

There it was, out in the open, and just like Yamamoto expected, a look of guilt washed over Gokudera’s face at the mention of his precious Tenth.  A small silence followed where the smaller teen seemed to deliberate with himself for a bit, looking away from his taller companion.

“Y-Yeah, I know,” Gokudera finally stuttered out, looking disappointed in himself at Yamamoto’s reminder.  “It’s just…harder than it looks. I…I’ll try to quit.  No, I will quit!  Just… give me some time.”

Even though Gokudera seemed more determined in his resolve then he had ever been before concerning his cigarettes, Yamamoto didn’t feel pleased with the outcome.  How could he when Gokudera would try to quit for Tsuna but not for him?  It hurt.   It really, truly hurt, and he was certain that Gokudera never realized the pain his words caused him most of the time. Did his presence in the Italian’s life even matter? 

Noticing his taller companion’s unusual silence, Gokudera quickly checked if the other was okay.  He was met with the sight of a truly upset Yamamoto, who was refusing to look at him, his once vibrant, hazel eyes downcast and overcome with sadness.  Gokudera felt himself choke on his breath, and his heart seize painfully against his ribs.  The smaller teen was left in confusion on what had caused the other to look so grieved when he had stated that he would try to quit smoking.  Shouldn’t the idiot be acting all happy now?

Despite his pride begging him to just ignore the situation, Gokudera couldn’t stand that look of pain on Yamamoto’s face, and he wanted nothing more than to get rid of it.  But what could he do to make the situation better when he didn’t know what had caused it in the first place? Gokudera couldn’t help but feel that he was missing something obvious here.  Shaking his uncertain thoughts away, the silver-haired teen thought as quickly as he could, trying to figure out how to make his baseball idiot happy again before they reached the Tenth’s house.  He didn’t want the Tenth to get suspicious, after all! 

It wasn’t long before Gokudera’s quick thinking brought him to a solution that both of them wouldn’t mind.  That didn’t stop the young Italian from blushing, though.  He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

With a deep breath to calm his nerves, since he couldn’t have any nicotine, Gokudera established his resolve and gave Yamamoto a playful shove with his shoulder.  The taller teen in turn glanced in Gokudera’s direction, hurt still prominent on his face, but his eyes clouded in confusion at the random action.  Gokudera blushed even deeper and glanced away from his taller companion, unable to look him in the eye when the other stared at him like that.  Taking another deep breath, the silver-haired teen grabbed Yamamoto’s arm before he could talk himself out of his plan and placed it around his shoulder, drawing himself into Yamamoto’s side, his hands still placed on the arm around his neck so the other wouldn’t pull away.

Of course, that thought never even crossed Yamamoto’s mind.  The taller teen was staring at his older companion in confusion, the other boy’s actions not fully making sense to the raven-haired teen.  Finally realizing that Gokudera had just willingly let himself display his affection in public, Yamamoto couldn’t help but get flustered and blush as red as Gokudera.  “G-Gokudera!  We’re in public!  I don’t under—”

“—It’s a friendly gesture!” The smaller teen butted in, still not meeting the other’s questioning eyes.  “Isn’t having your arm around someone’s shoulder a symbol of friendship between guys in Japan?”

Yamamoto’s blush turned a darker shade of crimson as he noticed Gokudera’s doing the same.  “Well, um, I guess…” He stated unsurely. It was true that it was a way to symbolize friendship, but if guys had their arms hanging off of other guys’ for long periods of time then it would be considered suspicious in any country.

“Then it shouldn’t matter, right?” Gokudera stated with a little more confidence in his voice, still not daring to look at the other in fear that he would do something that would embarrass himself further.  He finally let go of Yamamoto’s arm before someone passed them by on the street and noticed them.  It was a good thing that the residential streets were empty at the moment or he probably wouldn’t have tried to do anything for Yamamoto at all.

Finally picking up on the fact that Gokudera was trying to make him feel better, Yamamoto’s confusion changed to appreciation. He gazed down at his silver-haired companion with compassion, his eyes holding a warmth to them that they didn’t have moments ago.  “Yeah,” he confirmed the other boy’s statement kindly, maneuvering his arm to draw the smaller teen even closer to him, and basking in the other’s provided warmth.  Maybe he had been too quick to assume that Gokudera didn’t care about him?  He just had this idea in his head that, since they were going out, the smaller teen would act differently towards him by this point.  Yamamoto felt guilty for having such high expectations when he knew that it took time for people to change, if they ever did.  All he should have been concerned about was that somewhere, deep down in Gokudera’s soul, the other teen actually cared for him.

And that’s all that Yamamoto should have needed to know in order to be satisfied…but…still...

It was a short distance later that the boys finally made it to their destination.  They stood outside the Sawada residence; a slight awkwardness between them as Yamamoto reluctantly removed his arm from around Gokudera’s shoulder and gave the smaller teen a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was kind of disappointed that he had to let go of Gokudera so quickly.  

“Well…we’re here,” Yamamoto finally stated after a moment of silence, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly before he started reaching for the doorbell.  To the baseball player’s surprise, an arm shot out and stopped him a moment before he touched it.  He glanced to his left in wonder to see a very uncertain looking Gokudera who was still refusing to meet his eyes.  “Gokudera, what—”

Before Yamamoto could finish his sentence, Gokudera quickly glanced both ways to make sure no one was coming. and then quickly gave Yamamoto a peck on the cheek.  It was short and fleeting but Gokudera had done it all the same, which left Yamamoto completely shell shocked.  He didn’t remember a time when the little Italian had ever been so forward. 

“Look…um…”  The smaller teen started, finally getting the courage to look his taller companion in the eye.  He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this; that it would be better to just let things go but…he just couldn’t stand seeing Yamamoto so disappointed.  “I was thinking that…if you behaved yourself tonight, then I might let you stay over at my place.  If you don’t mind, that is.”

Yamamoto was practically floored at this.  Did Gokudera just invite him to stay overnight?!  That never happened!  He was the one that always had to beg the other even if it was just to hold him!  Yamamoto’s famous 1000-watt smile slowly grew on his face until it practically became a beacon, his eyes shining with excitement.  Maybe, just maybe, Gokudera hadn’t been doubting their relationship like he had previously thought?  Had he been over-thinking things this whole time?  

“Really, Gokudera?!  I can?!  But it’s a school night.”

“Stop being an idiot!”  Was Gokudera’s response to the other teen’s excitement.  He really wished his blush would just go away already!  “We won’t be at the Tenth’s too long, and you don’t have baseball practice anymore, so we don’t have to get up too early.  Besides, you sleep through class anyway, even if you get a good night’s sleep!”

“Haha, that’s true!”  The younger teen confirmed, excitement flowing through his veins at the thought of staying over at Gokudera’s.  It was here that Yamamoto gave the other a mischievous look, his hazel eyes becoming heated.  “So, does that mean we get to finish what we started in the kitchen earlier?”

So many emotions flew across Gokudera’s face in that small instance that it left Yamamoto’s head spinning.  He was certain that he had seen uncertainty and fear flash in the other teen’s eyes.  Had he been too forward?  The raven-haired boy couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.  It was then that Gokudera finally settled on an emotion, giving Yamamoto a stern glare.

“Until I say stop, got it?”  

Of course, Yamamoto should have known that Gokudera would say that, but that didn’t stop the taller teen from feeling the disappointment.  Was he expecting too much from the other teen?  “Got it.  I’ll behave, I promise.”

After a confirmed nod from Gokudera, Yamamoto reached out and rang the doorbell, which signaled Gokudera to move a step away from him. The raven-haired teen frowned slightly as he watched the other teen move away.  He knew not to take it personally, that Gokudera was just trying to make it appear to the others that they were just friends, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

With everything that they went through today, Yamamoto couldn’t stop himself from feeling confused about the mixed messages Gokudera was sending him.  Just what was he to Gokudera, anyway?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here's the second chapter. This one was mainly for getting used to writing other characters besides Yamamoto and Gokudera, and also to set things up for the third chapter and the rest of the story. I hope it doesn't bore you guys and that you'll enjoy it =)

The two boys stood outside the Sawada residence for a few short minutes, the air between them tense and slightly uncomfortable, before the front door opened before them.  Standing in the doorway was a medium sized feminine figure, the hallway light illuminating her image as she gave the two teens a welcoming smile.

“Oh my! If it isn’t Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto-kun!” The middle-aged woman exclaimed happily, her short, chestnut-brown hair bobbing as she looked back and forth between the two boys in front of her.  “I keep forgetting how much you two have grown!”

It was here that Yamamoto broke the silence between him and his silver-haired companion by laughing at the older woman’s statement.  “Haha, you say that every time we come over, Sawada-san,” The taller boy pointed out in amusement as he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment at the woman’s praise.

Instead of following the current conversation, Gokudera opted to pay his respects to the keeper of the household, unlike the idiotic baseball player he knew.  “It’s nice to see you again, Sawada-san.  I’m sorry for being late,” The smaller teen spoke up kindly, acting very much unlike himself as he bowed in respect towards his boss’ mother.

Sawada Nana giggled at her son’s two best friends.  It always amazed her how such two different people could be friends with each other but it made her happy nonetheless; after all, these two had become friends with her precious son and had helped him to become more outgoing and dependable.  “Don’t worry, you’re actually right on time!  I was about to set dinner out for the guests.”

Gokudera straightened up from his bow at that, a look of horror evident on his face.  If the Tenth’s mother was already setting out the food, then that meant…  “Y-You mean we were the last to arrive?!”

Nana looked a little taken aback by the Italian’s outburst but replied, “Yes. Actually, the others have been here for a little while so I’m glad you two arrived.  That one black-haired boy— what was his name?  Hibari-kun? He seems to be getting antsy.  Is he afraid to be around people?”

Yamamoto laughed nervously in response, feeling his companion’s revulsion at the fact that **_Hibari_** had actually made it here before them, without having to look at the smaller teen.   “Well, no, he just doesn’t like crowds.  I’m actually surprised he even came, haha!”

“Oh, I guess that explains things,” Nana muttered, giggling at the end of her words.   Her eyes then widened in surprise as she gasped, one of her hand’s coming up to her mouth in the process.  “Oh my, what am I doing?!  Why don’t you boys come in? It’s getting rather cold out here.”

With that, Nana moved to the side of the door and swept her arm out in a welcoming motion, slightly bowing in the process. The two shivering teens made their way into the warm house, thanking Nana in the process for her invitation.  Nana quickly shut the door behind them to stop the cold winter air from traveling further into the house.

“May I take your jackets?” The older woman asked politely as she witnessed Yamamoto and Gokudera shredding their winter outerwear.

With polite nods, and after vocalizing their gratitude, the two guardians relinquished their coats and followed Nana down the hall.  The brown-haired woman turned around to face her followers half-way down the hallway, where she stood in front of an open doorway.  Smiling warmly, she showed the boys into the room, announcing their presence along the way.  “Tsu-kun, Yamamoto-kun and Gokudera-kun are here!”

As the teens entered the room after Tsuna’s mom, they were greeted by the presence of many familiar faces.  They were all stationed in the living room, which had been converted into a dining area much like the one at Reborn’s first birthday party back during their middle school days.  A long, low, wooden table swept most of the expanse of the room with about two dozen or so sitting pillows lined up underneath all sides of the table. 

After processing the layout of the room the two guardians automatically made eye contact with the person on the farthest end of the table from them, who looked back with warm and welcoming eyes much like his mother’s.  “I’m so glad you two finally made it!” The shorter teen with unruly, spiky-brown-hair exclaimed, a grateful smile appearing on his face as he swept his arm out and offered for his two best-friends to sit down near him.

Instead of taking the smaller boy’s offer, Gokudera ran up to his boss and got on his knees, his hands and forehead slamming into the wooden floor with gusto as he did so.  Tsuna could only blink in shock and confusion as his right-hand man’s actions before the silver-haired teen started to apologize profusely. 

“I’m so sorry we were late, Tenth!  As your right-hand man, I humbly apologize for our rudeness and for making you wait!”  The older boy exclaimed, his face only leaving its position in the floorboards to look up and glare menacingly towards an unsuspecting Yamamoto, who was making his way towards them to the front of the table.  “We wouldn’t have been so late if **_somebody_** hadn’t taken his sweet time with everything!”

Yamamoto laughed sheepishly as he stood above Gokudera and Tsuna now, figuring out the meaning behind his boyfriend’s words.  Gokudera was obviously angry with him for holding them up at the restaurant when they were closing and for the scarf incident.  “Sorry, Tsuna.  I got a bit distracted at the shop, haha!”

Tsuna just shook his head, an understanding smile present on his face.  “Don’t worry about it.  I wasn’t angry or anything, and we haven’t been waiting too long; just a couple minutes after the last person arrived before you.”

Gokudera’s eyes were overcome with emotion at his boss’s words.  He bowed before the younger boy again, his words thick with gratitude.  “You are so great and understanding, Tenth!  I don’t deserve your kindness and the right-hand man position!  In fact, I—”

Before Gokudera could finish his overemotional speech that would belittle himself even further, Yamamoto grabbed his shoulders and brought him back up into a standing position. 

“Now, now, Gokudera, there’s no need for that,” the taller teen explained as he started ushering the small Italian past Tsuna’s right and to an open pillow.  “Why don’t we sit down like Tsuna asked, so that we don’t hold up the meeting further?”

The raven-haired teen’s offer was met with protest as his companion started to flail at his boyfriend’s pushing.  “You bastard!  You should be bowing to the Tenth and asking for forgiveness, too!  It’s your fault we’re late, after all!”

“Haha, I already apologized, Gokudera,” the younger teen laughed as he forcefully sat his fiery companion down next to Tsuna’s right.  “There.  Now sit down and enjoy Sawada-san’s cooking.”

Gokudera continued to glare at Yamamoto heatedly, his mouth slightly forming a pout as Yamamoto took a seat kitty-corner from him since they were at the edge of the table.  The raven-haired teen continued to smile serenely at his boyfriend, feeling slightly smug that he had made Gokudera actually obey him in public as the rest of the people in the room laughed at the right-hand man’s typical theatrics. 

It was here that Nana returned from putting Yamamoto’s and Gokudera’s coats away, a big cooking pot now in her hands.  “I hope all of you are hungry!  We have plenty of food to go around!” She stated as Kyoko, Chrome and Haru came up behind her with big cooking pots in their hands as well.

“I hope everyone likes oden!” Kyoko stated happily as she put down the pot she was holding in front of Tsuna, the other women setting their offerings down along the table as well.  At the sound of the word, everyone’s eyes lit up as the different assortments of simmering foods were placed before them.

\---

After everyone had dished up and began eating and breaking out into conversation, Yamamoto was finally able to take in everything around him, noticing everyone in the room for the first time.

Kyoko, Tsuna’s girlfriend of one year was sitting to Tsuna’s left and trying to feed the spikey-haired boy something from the oden pot with her chopsticks. Tsuna blushed in embarrassment at the action but took a bite from the offered food nonetheless. 

To Kyoko’s left and across from him sat Haru, who was in deep conversation with Bianchi who sat next to her.  The magenta-haired woman, thankfully, was wearing ski goggles.  The two women were whispering in a conspicuous manner with each other and glancing in Gokudera’s direction every once in a while, which Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel concerned about.  Quickly eyeing the teen sitting next to him, who was oblivious to everything around him at that point as he was shoveling Nana’s delicious cooking into his mouth like a starving madman, Yamamoto only felt his concern grow.  Did Gokudera forget to eat breakfast again?

Pushing the slight irritation he felt at his boyfriend’s carelessness, and forgetting Haru and Bianchi’s suspicious actions for the moment, Yamamoto continued to look around and spotted Fuuta sitting next to Bianchi, who was currently trying to stop Lambo from throwing some of his food at Reborn, who was sitting at the other end of the table.  Yamamoto was quick to note that Fuuta had grown much taller since the last time he saw him.  The young, sandy-haired boy was almost a teenager now, and had grown very tall for his age. He was about the same size as Tsuna was during middle school. 

Lambo, Yamamoto noted, had grown bigger as well, since he was no longer considered a baby.  The little nine-year-old was about the same size as Fuuta had been when he first appeared.  He also continued to wear cow printed clothing, and his once unruly afro had grown out into gentle black curls.   The little cow was beginning to resemble his Adult Lambo form but, sadly, didn’t seem to act like him yet.

Sitting next to the rambunctious Lambo, and who was also giving the slightly older kid disapproving sideways glances, was I-Pin.  Her hair had grown out and was currently in a long braided ponytail, the hair band matching her formal, red, Chinese dress.  Yamamoto could never understand how I-pin never had any ears when she was a baby, but now, when she was older, she did.  It was one of those phenomena that he had come to expect within the mafia world that he was certain he would never get an answer to.

To the lovely I-pin’s left sat Chrome, who was blushing shyly as she talked to the Chinese girl next to her.  It was here that Yamamoto noticed that Chrome had been growing her hair out, too, the purple locks now reaching her shoulders, but the top of her hair was still scrunched up to look like Mukuro’s.  Speaking of the pineapple-haired illusionist, he was sitting to Chrome’s left and was laughing creepily under his breath as he glared challengingly towards Hibari, who sat diagonally from him on Yamamoto’s side of the table.  The prefect, in turn, looked like he was trying his best to ignore the mist guardian, but would occasionally send piercing glares towards the man who was disturbing his meal.  Yamamoto was surprised that Hibari could stand being in the room with so many people around, but guessed that that was the reason why Hibari was sitting at the edge of the table.  His position made it so that he could be as far away from the others as possible.

Noticing that Mukuro’s creeping stare had fallen onto him, Yamamoto quickly looked away towards the illusionist’s left to notice Basil courageously sitting next to the blue-haired man.  Yamamoto could feel the back of his neck prickle as he continued to feel Mukuro’s mismatched eyes on him, and was relieved when the illusionist chuckled and reverted back to his previous action of irritating Hibari.  Basil seemed to be disturbed by Mukuro’s actions as well, as Yamamoto noticed the other rain-based user fidget nervously in his seat while he continued to eat his food. 

It was here that Yamamoto began to wonder why Basil was even at Tsuna’s house in the first place, that is, until he noticed Iemitsu sitting kitty-corner from the sandy-haired Italian at the opposite end of the table from Kyoko.  Iemitsu looked like he hadn’t changed at all from the few times that the raven-haired boy had seen him.  The older blond-haired man was laughing heartily and drinking from a sake bottle with no care in the world as he continued his conversation with Reborn, who was sitting next to him.  Yamamoto was quick to assume that Iemitsu had come home for the holidays and had brought Basil with him, since the younger teen was interested in Japanese culture, and probably wanted to see how the Japanese celebrated Christmas. 

The young, raven-haired teen’s eyes then fell on Reborn.  The little, baby hitman was sitting in the very center at the end of the table, completely opposite from Tsuna.  The baby was intent on eating his supper it seemed but would occasionally reply to whatever Tsuna’s dad was taking to him about, his big, black eyes never leaving his plate.

To Reborn’s left sat Nana, who would continue to pile food onto the baby’s plate whenever it was getting low, and gush happily when Iemitsu would blow her drunken kisses from the toddler’s opposite side.  Yamamoto wasn’t sure if he could make out over the din of everyone’s conversations, but he was sure he heard Tsuna’s father loudly whine that Reborn should switch him seats, so that he could sit next to his lovely wife.  He wasn’t sure what Reborn had said in reply but by Iemitsu’s pouting face and slouched form, it was easy to figure out the answer.  Yamamoto wasn’t surprised that Reborn turned down the offer, since the little guy was a very imposing authority figure, and he probably wanted to be seated across from Tsuna for some kind of mafia protocol that the black-haired baseball player couldn’t still quite understand. 

Feeling bad for Tsuna’s father and his predicament, Yamamoto was about to call out to the older man and offer that Basil switch seats with his wife when he remembered that Mukuro was currently sitting next to the sandy-haired teen.  He didn’t want Nana to befall such an uncomfortable fate, so, instead, he focused on the people on his side of the table now, taking in the rest of their faces.

To Nana’s left was Hibari, like he had noticed before.  The dark-haired prefect was sitting at the end of the table and still trying to eat his food in peace but, with Mukuro still staring at him, and with Dino, who was sitting to the prefect’s right and continuously trying to talk to him, Hibari wasn’t getting any reprieve.  Yamamoto wondered why Hibari hadn’t started beating people into submission as he usually would when he was annoyed (because it was obvious to see that Hibari was annoyed beyond reason; one of his eyes was beginning to twitch).  Maybe Reborn or Dino had offered Hibari something if he behaved himself?   After all, they were the only people Yamamoto knew of that could get Hibari to calm down.

Quickly glancing to Dino’s right so that Hibari didn’t feel the pity glances he was giving him, Yamamoto saw some people he really didn’t expect to see.  To the blond-haired don’s right sat Giannini, who was currently out of his flying portable space craft and happily devouring the hodgepodge of food set before him.  To the large man’s right sat Irie Shoichi, who was in deep conversation with Spanner, the two robot enthusiasts examining some blueprints the curly-haired, blond, mechanic was holding. 

Yamamoto knew that Irie went to another school in Namimori, so he wasn’t all surprised the bespectacled boy was sitting in the living room. After all, he had just recently been getting in touch with Tsuna about the Vongola family after he had gotten over his initial fear of rejection.  Irie still felt uncomfortable for his actions during their time in the future about shooting everyone with the 10-year-bazooka, but after Tsuna got in touch with him again and accepted him into the family, the young, nerdy boy had been hanging out with them recently. 

As for Spanner, all Yamamoto knew was that Spanner was a transfer student attending a high school in one of the surrounding towns, so he was a little surprised that the blonde-haired mechanic was here but was certain that Tsuna had invited the boy as well, since he was also considered part of the family because of his future-self’s actions.

That brought Yamamoto to the last group of people at the table, who were sitting to Spanner’s left and to his right.  Hana and Ryohei were currently laughing about something as they ate their dinner next to each other, the white-haired boxer’s laugh echoing loudly around the room for everyone to hear (Yamamoto could distinctly feel his ear drums vibrate ominously in pain at the loud decibel it was being succumbed to).  Yamamoto was surprised to see Ryohei sitting next to him, since the boxer was currently attending college in another town, and the colleges didn’t let their students out for holidays until the 25th as well.  All the young baseball player could discern from this situation was that Ryohei must have travelled home for the weekend in order to make it to this meeting, and that he was going back tonight.  Either way, Hana seemed to be enjoying the little time that she had with her boyfriend of three years, since she was still in high school and hardly got to see him.  Yamamoto was used to seeing the black-haired girl so grouchy (much like his Gokudera), so it came as a surprise to him when he saw her laughing and smiling happily as she sat next to her boyfriend.  The tall baseball player couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy that one of his classmates, no, three of his classmates if he counted Tsuna and Kyoko, could so openly display their affections towards their significant others in public.

Yamamoto turned to look at the silver-haired bomber sitting adjacent to him, his hazel eyes sad and longing as he stared at his companion, who was too busy conversing with Tsuna now to notice.  The raven-haired teen quickly looked back down at his plate of food, not feeling all that hungry anymore.

To the taller teen’s surprise, there was a sharp tap to his shoulder a moment later.  Yamamoto glanced towards his left to see Gokudera withdrawing his hand.  The grey-haired teen’s eyes were flashing with irritation as he glared at the dark-haired teen, and then down at his still full plate of food, unable to fully mask the concern behind his simmering stare.

“Why the hell aren’t you eating anything, Baseball Idiot?” Gokudera whispered out harshly.

Yamamoto was taken by surprise by this statement but decided to respond truthfully, nonetheless.  “I just don’t feel hungry,” he replied simply, his caramel colored eyes becoming serious as he was reminded about his previous jealousy and his confusion towards what Gokudera actually thought of him. 

Gokudera’s jade-green eyes widened slightly at that, but quickly narrowed as he noticed Yamamoto giving him attitude.  That hardly ever happened.  Not knowing how to handle the situation, Gokudera fell back on what he did best: giving attitude back. 

“Don’t lie to me, you dipshit!” The smaller teen continued to whisper out, not wanting the Tenth or the other’s to overhear their conversation.  “We were busier than shit today at the shop, and we hardly had any time to eat anything.  You **_have_** to be starving!”

Yamamoto’s eyes narrowed defensively as Gokudera’s lecturing was beginning to worsen his mood.  He knew his anger went beyond just feeling jealous of his other friends’ freedom in showing their relationships and more towards his rocky relationship with the boy right next to him, but Gokudera didn’t know that.  The rain guardian felt kind of bad for acting this way towards Gokudera but another part of him didn’t care, because Gokudera always acted this way towards him, so why couldn’t he do the same?  Maybe the smaller boy would actually feel just as confused as he did!  “Even if I am hungry, I just don’t feel like eating.  Is that a problem for you?”

The silver-haired Italian tried not to show his shock at his younger boyfriend’s sudden hostility, unconsciously raising his voice above a whisper in the process.  “Of course it’s a problem for me!  Not eating the food provided to you by a host is insulting to them!  By not eating Sawada-san’s food, you insult her and insult the Tenth!”

Yamamoto felt a stab of pain at the small bomber’s words.  It was always about Tsuna.  **_Always_**.   “It’s nothing against Tsuna or his mother.  I just don’t feel like eating anything at the moment,” Yamamoto gruffly replied, his voice wavering with unwanted emotion.

Gokudera’s breath hitched at Yamamoto’s words, seeing the wounded look in the rain guardian’s eyes.  Before the storm guardian could begin to think on what he had done to hurt Yamamoto **_again_** , another voice interrupted them.

“It’s alright, Yamamoto.  You don’t have to eat anything if you don’t want to,” Tsuna acknowledged with a look of concern on his face.  “Are you feeling sick?”

“A little upset, yeah,” Yamamoto responded somewhat truthfully with a nervous chuckle, not expecting Tsuna to overhear the conversation.  He was pretty certain at this point that Gokudera would be pissed at his behavior and cancel their agreement for staying over at the older boy’s apartment that night.  Yamamoto felt disappointment begin to overcome him, but he wondered if staying over at Gokudera’s place would be a bad idea anyway.  There was definitely a possibility that it would only cause him more confusion in the long run.  Not wanting to talk anymore (which had to be a first for him), the taller teen focused on his untouched plate of food, moving the food around with his chopsticks as a means of distraction.

Tsuna and Gokudera watched as Yamamoto went about poking at his food with his chopsticks, their eyes filling with worry over the taller boy’s actions.  Tsuna was about to question Yamamoto again if he was feeling okay but was distracted as a wad of simmering meat hit him square in the face.  This surprising action was met by annoying laughter as the thrower of the meat, Lambo, jumped onto the table and declared a food fight out of boredom.  Scared out of his mind at what could possibly happen, Tsuna lost no time in jumping from his seat and attempted to drag Lambo down from the table, while the little kid failed to hit Reborn with a cooked ginger root and was in the process of being shot at in retaliation. 

“Oooh, is this a dinner show?” Nana questioned in wonder as she watched the spectacle before her, not realizing the seriousness of the situation as the guest’s started ducking and diving out of the range of fire.

Now, normally, being the right-hand man that he was, Gokudera would have naturally tried to help his boss in quelling the mayhem that was taking place in front of them but, while everyone was distracted by the whizzing bullets and food particles, Gokudera decided to, instead, grab a distracted Yamamoto, who was watching the ensuing battle with slight interest, and dragged him down below the table where they wouldn’t be disturbed.  The table was too low to the ground for Gokudera to fully drag the taller teen underneath it, but he decided that getting their heads below the table would at least help them escape from any unwanted food or bullets to the head so that they could talk.

“You idiot!  I don’t know where this whiny, girly, attitude of yours came from all of a sudden but you need to at least eat something!” Gokudera ground out angrily, his pissed off face only inches from Yamamoto’s.

Yamamoto winced at the uncomfortable angle his back was in at the moment but returned Gokudera’s glare with force.  “Do you really think I should listen to you when you decided that you didn’t want to eat breakfast this morning? **_Again_**.”

“T-That’s completely different!” The silver-haired teen sputtered out.  Gokudera wasn’t going to be the one to tell Yamamoto that he had spent the last of his money for food on cigarettes.  It shouldn’t really matter when he was going to be getting his paycheck from Tsuyoshi in a couple days time, anyway. “That doesn’t stop the fact that you need to eat something!” Gokudera continued, a blush slowly forming on his face at his next words.  “W-won’t you need it for s-stamina later…or something…”

Yamamoto’s eyes widened in shock as he took in Gokudera’s words, and while his smaller companion quickly looked away in the process, but stayed in his position under the table.  From the way the smoking bomber was acting…did that mean…“D-Does that mean you still want me to come over?” The black-haired rain guardian asked hesitantly.  “Even after the way I’ve been acting?”

“Che!” the silver-haired teen scoffed.  “I really shouldn’t invite you over for acting like a sulking woman, but it’s not like you caused any suspicion…”

Yamamoto’s eyes lit-up slightly with hope at the smaller teen’s words but the confusion he felt towards the other didn’t stop.  He didn’t want to be the one to point out that Gokudera had been the one sulking more than him recently, so he decided on a different approach, his eyes looking upon Gokudera’s innocently.  “Well, you have mood swings like a woman, so does that make us even?”

Gokudera’s face flushed redder than his storm flames; not out of embarrassment, but out of anger.  “What the fuck did you just say?!” The silver-haired guardian exclaimed, not losing a second in jumping at Yamamoto and attempting to strangle him.

Surprisingly, this was what brought Yamamoto out of his funk, because he started laughing, enjoying the struggle between him and his smaller companion as the other attempted to hurt him and as he effectively held the other away at arm’s length.

Eventually, the living room calmed down to the point that everyone could go back to their meals, each person slightly worn but none the worse for wear.  Even Lambo wasn’t too bad off.  The little cow was sniffling pathetically, though, remembering the scarring life and death situation that had happened to him moments prior with Reborn, who had mercilessly shot at him with real bullets. Gokudera also felt worn out like everyone else as well.  He was still grumpy over Yamamoto’s last statement but was secretly happy that the taller teen was eating again (even though it pissed him off that he had that cocky idiotic smile on his face when he did so).

Noticing the other’s grumpy state, Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel guilty over his actions, even though Gokudera had had been the one to insult him first.  It was here that an idea quickly came to the raven-haired teen’s mind. 

“Sorry about what I said, Gokudera,” the taller boy whispered gently as he stopped eating again for the moment.  “How about I make a bargain with you?  If you let me stay over at your place tonight, then I will make you breakfast in the morning.  Does that sound good or would you still not eat anything?”

Gokudera tried and failed miserably in hiding the blush that swept over his cheeks at the other’s offer. “I-I’ll eat it if you’re making it,” the young Italian mumbled out in a barely audible whisper, hoping that the food he was munching on would muffle his words. 

Sadly, Yamamoto had exceptional hearing and was able to discern what the other had said.  The smile on his face grew to epic proportions at his companion’s unusual praise.  “Then I guess it’s a date then!”

Gokudera almost choked on the food he had been trying to swallow.  After a crazy coughing fit, the smaller teen choked out.  “I-Idiot! D-Don’t say that too loud!”

Thankfully, no one had heard what Yamamoto had said because Reborn had suddenly jumped onto the table, grabbing everyone’s attention with his presence.

“Now that everyone has filled their stomachs, it’s time to announce why Tsuna has invited all of you here tonight,” the little baby in the fedora announced, his big, black eyes serious yet playful because of the smirk that accompanied it. 

This finally caught Gokudera and Yamamoto’s attention.  Quickly looking away from each other and towards the little hitman standing on the table, the little arcobaleno continued with his speech.

“As you all know, Christmas is drawing near, and that means it’s time to celebrate an annual Vongola Christmas event that is only held once every five years,” Reborn spoke up again, the smirk on his face slowly receding into a frown.  “Sadly, after Tsuna decided to talk with the Ninth about this event, they decided to change the rules, so that there wouldn’t be any outcomes towards the winners or losers.”

Everyone who had experienced the many different Vongola traditions were excited at this news, but laughed nervously once they noticed Reborn’s slightly discontent disposition.  Anyone could tell that the little baby was disappointed that he couldn’t dish out punishment. 

“That aside,” Reborn continued with a sigh. “The event still holds its meaning. So without further ado, it’s time to hold the Vongola Secret Santa event!”

The whole room was filled with gasps from its occupants (except from Mukuro and Hibari, who just decided to raise their eyebrows questioningly at the turn of events), some from excitement and others from dread.  Reborn stayed where he was, bestowing his audience with his all-knowing smile.

“Tsuna, why don’t you explain to our guests why we our holding this event?” Reborn stated as more of a command rather than a question.

“W-What?  But Reborn—” Tsuna began to protest feebly at the other end of the table, his brown eyes shining with nervousness.  Before the future Tenth Vongola boss could finish his sentence, his face was met with the end of Reborn’s foot. The little baby had easily jumped from one end of the table to the other so swiftly that no one knew what had happened until they saw Tsuna fall back in pain.

“Stop being the no-good loser that you are and start acting like the boss,” Reborn commanded again as he landed on the table next to Tsuna’s dinner plate.  The small, brown-haired mafia boss in question, stood up on shaking feet, massaging his now very sore nose.

“Geez, Reborn!” The smaller teen exclaimed in a nasally voice as one of his hands covered his aching nose.  He was amazed that the kick hadn’t broken it.  “You didn’t have to kick me!”

“Then learn your place as the boss and give your subordinates an explanation,” the little baby stated without glancing up at Tsuna as his back turned away from him and looked towards the guests in the living room.

“Okay, okay, fine!” Tsuna sighed in exasperation.  He hated talking in front of crowds. It always made him so nervous.  The spiky-haired teen took in the many faces surrounding the dining table, drawing courage from their presence as he began to speak.  “Um, well…the Ninth and I decided that throwing a normal Secret Santa exchange would suffice for this year’s annual Christmas event.  We’re all going to be starting new chapters in our lives soon and everyone’s going to be working together with each other for years to come, so I thought that by holding this event we can all get to know each other better as members of a family.”

Everyone in the room nodded their heads in understanding, some more reluctant than others in accepting the event.  They continued to stare up at Tsuna expectantly until the smaller teen became nervous and said.  “Um…that’s it…” and sat back down in his seat and fidgeted with his hands.  Seeing the boy sitting next to her was so nervous, Kyoko gave her boyfriend a comforting pat on the shoulder and a gentle smile, calming the smaller boy down somewhat.

It was here that Nana decided to stand up.  She addressed the crowd with her usual bubbly smile, excitement flowing from her very being.  “My boy is so grown up now!  It makes me so happy!”

The only responses that Nana received from her ramblings were Iemitsu’s boisterous laugh and Tsuna calling out to his mother in embarrassment.

Nana just giggled and continued to say what she truly wanted to say.  “I don’t know what’s really going on, but it makes me happy to see my son treat his friends like his own family.  I hope this Secret Santa exchange will be fun for everyone involved!”

“You’re so kind and thoughtful, Nana!” Iemitsu shouted out loudly, emotional tears cascading from his eyes and his cheeks rosy from the sake. 

Nana gushed like a little school girl at her husband’s appraisal, her cheeks blushing red from embarrassment, and her hands waving dismissively.  “Oh, Honey, stop!  You’re embarrassing me!” She squealed in joy.

Everyone could hear the embarrassed groan from the other side of the room as Tsuna slapped his hands over his face in horror. 

Noticing that she was getting off track, Nana cleared her throat cutely and started again.  “Anyways, what we are going to do is put everyone’s name in Reborn-chan’s hat and go into the kitchen.  There, we will call someone in to draw a name, so that no one else will be able to see it.  Then, from there, you can decide if you want to stay here and visit for a bit or you can head home.”

With a gracious smile, Nana then took her seat and Iemitsu took the stand, the rosy tint on his cheeks somehow vanishing as he addressed everyone in the room with his regular goofy smile.  “After everyone draws their names, you must buy a gift for that person that you know that they will like.  We will all meet back here on Christmas Eve night to give our presents away.  For those of you that don’t have any idea on what to give your Secret Santa, there will be a notepad out on the end table by our phone in the hallway for people to add what they want for Christmas.”

As Iemitsu said this, Nana stood up again, but this time, with a regular notepad in her hands and a pencil.  After doing her best showcasing impersonation, she headed out into the hallway to place her objects by the hallway phone.

“I suggest that everyone writes down what they want before they leave.” Iemitsu continued, chuckling while he did so.  “But try to not to make it an expensive gift people, we’re not all made of money.”

“But…Sawada-sama?” Fuuta piped up from his seat next to Bianchi, not sure on how to address Tsuna’s father, since he hardly saw him.  “What if we don’t have any money?”

Before Iemitsu could respond, Nana walked back into the living room with an understanding smile on her face.  “Since you kids don’t have money, I will gladly provide some for you to help your Secret Santa!”

Fuuta smiled in relief at that, while Lambo rejoiced next to him. I-pin yelled at the cow-like boy to not spend the money on candy, but Lambo just continued to laugh joyfully like he never heard her. 

“Now that we have everything out of the way…”Reborn spoke up again from his place on the table.  “Maman and I will enter the kitchen now to prepare the names.  We will call a person in when we are done, and that person is free to choose someone else as soon as they are done drawing a name.”

“And also, don’t forget to write down your name and what you want on the notepad in the hallway before you leave.” Nana reminded everyone again with a giddy smile as she picked up Reborn from the table and headed into the kitchen.  As soon as the two left, the room burst into conversation as everyone discussed the event or continued to eat.

As he continued with his meal, Yamamoto wondered who he was going to be a Secret Santa to.  He would love nothing more than to be Gokudera’s Secret Santa but the chances of that were slim.  Oh well.  Even if he didn’t get his silver-haired lover, he would still buy him a Christmas gift, but the problem was what to give him? The young baseball player turned to his left, wondering if his companion was having the same thoughts as him.  He was met with the image of a very pumped up Gokudera, the smaller teen’s eyebrows knit in deep thought, and a fist clenched in determination in front him as his eyes burned with passion.  All in all, it looked like the little Italian was giving himself an internal pep talk.

Yamamoto was certain that Gokudera was not thinking about him at all but about…

“You want to be Tsuna’s Secret Santa, don’t you?” The raven-haired teen asked knowingly, not surprised in the least when Gokudera got flustered at the question.

“O-Of course I do!” Gokudera confirmed with just as much determination as he had during his inner musings mere seconds ago.   “I mean, I would give the Tenth a Christmas gift anyway if I wasn’t his Secret Santa, but do you know how much easier it would be if I didn’t have to shop for one of the other retards here?”

Yamamoto’s brown orbs narrowed at that, wondering if he was part of that ‘retard’ category.  Knowing Gokudera, he probably was.  That thought irked him.  He didn’t want to think that Gokudera thought he would be a hassle to shop for, but he didn’t understand what the silver-haired teen thought of him.  Yamamoto wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t receive a gift from Gokudera, even though he was his boyfriend. With the way the other was acting around him as of late, he wouldn’t be surprised if that actually happened.

Sensing the unusual depressing air emanating from his taller companion again, Gokudera was about to ask the other what was up with him tonight but a voice interrupted his thoughts.  The silver-haired Italian immediately registered the voice as Reborn’s, and as he saw Mukuro stand up and leave his seat, he was quick to assume that the arcobaleno had started the Secret Santa drawing.

Yamamoto had turned his gazed towards Mukuro when he had heard Reborn’s voice, as well.  He was quick to notice Basil heave a sigh of relief once the creepy illusionist left his presence, and couldn’t help but feel sorry for the foreign boy.  It had to be tough sitting next to Mukuro…or should he say interesting? Either way, it had to be a nerve wracking experience.

The rain guardian’s thoughts of the illusionist came to an abrupt end once he heard a short feminine cry close to him a couple minutes later.  The baseball player whipped his head around towards the source of the noise to see Mukuro holding onto a startled Kyoko’s shoulder.  Hadn’t Mukuro just left?! 

Tsuna was quick to question what everyone was thinking.  “M-Mukuro! When did you come back in?!”

The blue-haired illusionist just laughed and shook his head at his supposed boss’s stupidity.  “Kufufu, you should honestly know this by now, Sawada Tsunayoshi. I’m an **_illusionist_**.  I’m merely using an illusion of myself to save time in telling Sasagawa-san it’s her time to draw.”

“O-Oh…that was fast.” Tsuna ended lamely, the illusion of Mukuro disappearing shortly after as Kyoko stood up beside him.

“Wish me luck, Tsuna-kun!” She exclaimed cheerfully, an excited smile illuminating her face.

Tsuna blushed and stuttered his good luck wishes to his girlfriend, who left promptly after that, a skip to her step as she passed by Mukuro in the doorway while he re-entered the living room.  The illusionist then made his way over to Chrome and whispered something into her ear.  The shy girl nodded her head in understanding as her savior left her there in the living room and headed out towards the entree way, telling everyone who cared to listen that he was heading out for air.

It was a few minutes after this that Kyoko returned with a confused look on her face, the notepad from the hallway held in her hands.  She walked over to Lambo first and told him it was his turn and then made her way over to Tsuna, the little cow running from the room in a flurry of excitement. 

“Um…Tsuna-kun?” Kyoko asked hesitantly, confusion still plastered all over her face.  “Would you mind explaining what this means?”

Tsuna peered up at his girlfriend in confusion as she held out the notepad for him to see.  The spiky-haired boy was quick to note the top of the list contained his mother’s handwriting, the words “Christmas Shopping List!” written in extravagant letters across the top with doodles of mistletoe, Santa hats, and candy canes drawn next to them.  Before Tsuna could mentally complain about his mother going over the top again, the young mafia boss to-be glanced down below the frilly print to see something he never expected.

“Hieeeeee?!” Tsuna screamed shrilly in a rather un-masculine manner, his eyes wide in shock and staring directly at the print below his mother’s flashy title. 

This, of course, grabbed Gokudera’s attention.  “What’s wrong, Tenth?!”  The silver-haired bomber questioned frantically as he scooted closer to his boss and peered over the smaller boy’s shoulder at the notepad held in front of them.  The storm guardian was so shocked at what he discovered he almost didn’t notice Yamamoto come up and stand behind him and Tsuna to find out what was causing all the commotion.

“Wow…” Yamamoto stated as he chuckling uncertainly at the words written on the paper, scratching his cheek absentmindedly in confusion.  “Didn’t expect to see that…”

There, written below Nana’s flashy drawings and above Kyoko’s cute handwriting that declared her want for some fluffy trimmed snow boots was Mukuro’s Christmas wish written in neat and tidy print. 

‘ _For Christmas, I want Sawada Tsunayoshi’s body. <3 Mukuro._’

Tsuna wasn’t sure what he should be more horrified at. That Mukuro was still going on about his body, that the crazy illusionist had actually written it down for everyone to see, orthatthe crazy pineapple-haired man had drawn a heart before his name.  A **_heart_** for crying out loud!

“I-I can’t believe he wrote that!” The spiky-haired boy yelled after he finally found the words to speak.  With a great flurry of motion, he tore the notepad and pencil from Kyoko’s hands and started to erase Mukuro’s words frantically, all the while apologizing to his girlfriend for what she had seen.  Kyoko just blinked in confusion as all of this went on, not really offended by Mukuro’s statement (she had always picked up on the fact that the man was a bit weird), just curious as to what it meant.

Tsuna sighed in relief once the freakish Christmas wish was erased from the paper.  He hoped that Mukuro wouldn’t come back in and rewrite it.  The soon-to-be mafia don was about to hand back the notepad and pencil to his girlfriend in order to return it to the hallway but, before he could, another pair of hands swiped them away.  Tsuna blinked in confusion as he felt the pad and pencil leave his fingers, and turned to see Gokudera writing something down where Mukuro’s writing had previously been.

“Sorry about that, Tenth!” Gokudera apologized, his gaze still on the paper as he continued to write.  “I just thought of something that could replace that crazy bastard’s wish!”

Tsuna wasn’t sure if he liked the creepy smile that Gokudera was showing as he finished writing on the paper or the dangerous glint in the bomber’s eyes.  He was sure he wasn’t going to like where this was going.

With a laugh of triumph, Gokudera slammed the notepad and pencil down onto the table for his audience to see, crossing his arms across his chest in satisfaction as he mentally congratulated himself for his good work.  Tsuna, Kyoko, and Yamamoto glanced down to see the words that were written in place of Mukuro’s previous wish.

‘ _For Christmas, I really want a therapist. <3 Mukuro_’

Tsuna stared at the writing with a deadpanned expression, Kyoko blinked in confusion, and Yamamoto just laughed. “Haha, you draw really cute hearts, Gokudera!”

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?!” Gokudera screamed vehemently as he threw the pencil and notepad in Yamamoto’s direction, trying and failing to cover up the blush spreading across his face.  The baseball player caught the projectiles with ease and continued to laugh heartily at his secret boyfriend’s expense.

Tsuna rubbed his temples in exasperation.  “Just return that pad to the hallway, Yamamoto. Gods, I hope Mukuro doesn’t see that…”

The tall baseball player finally stopped laughing and did as he was told, leaving the room where everyone was staring at him and his friends in confusion.  As he was replacing the pad and pencil to their proper places in the hallway, he came across Lambo as the little boy made his way out of the kitchen.

“If you need to write down your Christmas wish, here you go!” The taller boy offered with a genuine smile as he stepped back from the table.

Lambo just nodded his head excitedly as he ran up to the notepad and began writing under Kyoko’s cute print.  Yamamoto was about to leave until he heard the little cow ask, “Hey Yamamoto-san? What’s a therapist?”

\---

It was a few minutes later that Lambo and Yamamoto re-entered the living room after the tall baseball player had patiently tried to explain what a therapist was to the intrigued little cow.  Naturally, the conversation didn’t really go anywhere, because, not even a minute into the explanation where Yamamoto mainly used sound effects to get his point across, Lambo had stopped listening anyway out of disinterest, feeling his time was much rather spent picking his nose.

As the two made their way towards the end of the table where Tsuna and Gokudera sat, Lambo ran ahead and tapped I-pin playfully on the shoulder, rousing the little girl from her conversation with Fuuta and Chrome.  “Tag! You’re it!” Lambo giggled madly as he ran in the direction of Tsuna, expecting his friend to give chase.

I-pin just stared at her childhood friend’s retreating back in confusion, unable to decide if Lambo just wanted to play with her or if he had chosen her to go draw a name.  Sighing in exasperation, the little Chinese girl decided to ignore her friend at the moment and started off towards the kitchen.  Once Lambo realized I-pin wasn’t chasing after him, he pouted grumpily and ran up to Yamamoto, who had finally made it to the end of the table as well.

“Hey, Yamamoto-san!” Lambo called out as he ran over to the taller boy and hugged his legs, stopping the baseball player in his tracks.  “Play with me!”

Yamamoto just looked down at the pesky cow in confusion as the little boy gave him his command.  “Um…maybe later?” The raven-haired teen answered uncertainly, trying to give the little boy his best encouraging smile.  He really didn’t want to play around at the moment; not with Lambo anyway.

The little boy frowned up at the taller teen and stuck his tongue out.  “Bleh! You’re boring!” He shouted out as he let go of the other’s leg and went to go bother Fuuta instead.

Normally, Lambo’s childish remarks would never affect him, but Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel a little sting from those words.  Was he boring? Is that why Gokudera was acting distant around him lately?  Was the other losing interest in him because of that?  As the millions of worries erupted in his head, Yamamoto sat back down in his designated seat, his brows furrowed in deep contemplation.

Gokudera took notice of the other’s expression, breaking off his conversation with Tsuna for the moment to give his boyfriend some crap.  Really, what was up with Yamamoto tonight?  The other boy’s mood seemed to constantly be heading towards depression at every given instance, which was very unlike him.  Of course, Gokudera would never admit to himself that he was worried for Yamamoto, but he felt obliged to try and lighten the mood a little bit; after all, Yamamoto had seemed to be feeling happier when he had left to return the notepad.

Slightly blushing at the reminder of the heart comment, Gokudera continued on with his plan.  “Hey, Yamamoto, don’t think too hard. You’re brain might implode if you overwork it too much,” the grey-haired bomber playfully sneered, hoping to get a positive reaction from the taller boy.

Sadly, Gokudera didn’t get his wish.  Yamamoto continued to look like he was deep in thought until he asked the question he was previously thinking about to his feisty companion, his eyes focused on the table in front of him. “Hey, Gokudera?  Do you think I’m boring?”

Gokudera spluttered at that, wondering why the other would be asking such a question.  Noticing how serious the other looked, and how Yamamoto was refusing to meet his eyes, Gokudera knew that he had to answer this question right or the taller boy would continue to be depressed.  Of course, Gokudera already knew the answer to the question.  It was rather easy to say that everything about Yamamoto was not boring. In fact, everything about Yamamoto actually **_excited_** him.

The little Italian’s face grew so red at that thought, he wondered if he was going to pass out from the rapid accumulation of blood to his head.  He was actually beginning to feel lightheaded!  As the fiery bomber tried to get his tongue to work to convey his message (he was just going to say ‘no’, he was defiantly not going to tell the idiot that he excited him!) another person beat him to the chase.

With a loud booming laugh that could wake even the dead, Ryohei wrapped his arm around Yamamoto’s shoulder and gave the rain guardian a playful punch in the shoulder with his other fist.  “Haha, what kind of question was that, Yamamoto? I think you’re an **_extremely_** fun guy!”

Yamamoto laughed nervously at his senpai’s boisterous attitude, rubbing his now sore arm in the process.  “Um…thank you, Senpai.”

“No problem!” Ryohei exclaimed in jubilation, giving his other jock friend a mighty pat on the back that would have sent a less muscular person face first into the table.

Gokudera felt his blood begin to boil as the idiotic Lawn Head took his spotlight.  No longer feeling up to saying anything to Yamamoto anymore (the idiot had gotten his answer anyway), Gokudera just scoffed and turned away.  He had to make a mental note to throw some dynamite at the stupid boxer the next time he got a chance.

Of course, this only served in depressing Yamamoto further, because he didn’t want to know what Ryohei thought, he wanted to know what Gokudera thought of him.  Noticing that the smaller teen was ignoring him, Yamamoto didn’t bother to bring up the conversation again.  Gokudera’s silence was answer enough.

Not being the one to always be kept down, Yamamoto made a vow to himself in that moment.  If Gokudera thought he was boring then that meant he only had to liven things up a bit.  With renewed determination, Yamamoto began planning his next course of action in order to get the smaller teen interested in him again.

He would make his plan effective tonight.

\---

After a couple people had come and gone from the living room, it was finally Gokudera’s turn to go and draw a name.  As the storm guardian made his way to the kitchen, he crossed his fingers and repeated his mantra of the Tenth’s name in his head.  He really hoped he would draw the Tenth’s name so that he could prove himself as a right-hand man.    

When Gokudera finally entered the kitchen, Reborn and Nana were waiting for him.  Nana held out the little fedora hat in her hands in offering, while Reborn told Gokudera to draw a name from the hat, his unruly hair sticking up in all directions in a comical fashion. 

Before the silver-haired bomber drew the dreaded name, he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, preparing himself for what fate had in store for him.  He clapped his hands together a couple times and brought his head down in a bowing motion, his hands flat together in prayer.

Nana gawked at her son’s friend in confusion.  “What are you doing, Gokudera-kun?” She asked politely, trying to suppress a giggle that bubbled up from her chest at the sight of the teen praying before the hat.

“I’m praying to the god’s of luck,” was Gokudera’s short yet serious reply, his brows furrowing together in concentration upon the interruption.  He had to do this right or his fate for the name drawing would be doomed!  Before the young bomber could finish his task, though, a foot swiftly met with the side of the boy’s head.

“Just pick a name already!” Reborn commanded, leaving no room for arguments as he jumped back to his previous position on the kitchen table.

Rubbing his now very sore head, Gokudera hastily complied and closed his eyes as he placed his hand in the hat.  Feeling around for a second, the silver-haired bomber grabbed a single piece of paper and brought it up to his face.  With a nervous sweat beginning to break out on his forehead, Gokudera hesitantly opened his eyes and prayed that he had gotten the name he wanted.

The slip of paper read: _Sasagawa Ryohei_.

A tense silence filled the room as Gokudera stared at the slip of paper unbelievingly.  Reborn smiled knowingly at Gokudera’s reaction in a smug manner, while Nana wondered if she should ask the silver-haired boy if he was alright.  Feeling an uncontrollable anger begin to rise within him, Gokudera promptly left the kitchen before he would regrettably swear in front of the Tenth’s mother, bypassing the Christmas notepad in a huff (he didn’t know what he wanted for Christmas anyway) as he made his way back into the living room and let his frustrations out.

“ **FUCK**!”  

\---

“I take it that you didn’t get Tsuna,” Yamamoto stated confidently as he peered over at a now sitting Gokudera.  The silver-haired teen in question had his chin resting on the table, and was staring morosely off into space.  Yamamoto knew that he should never be angry with Tsuna over Gokudera’s subordinate infatuation with him, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy with this turn of events.

The black-haired baseball player began to worry when he noticed that Gokudera hadn’t responded to him, but he was relieved once the smaller teen finally looked in his direction and open his mouth to speak.  “What do you think of a joint present?”

Yamamoto’s only response was to blink in confusion, wondering where that question had suddenly come from. 

Gokudera gave a ragged sigh at his companion’s stupidity and leaned in closer to whisper in the taller boy’s ear.  He didn’t want anybody to over hear them.  “A joint present, you idiot!  You know, a present that both of us buy together or share money on?  I was wondering if you wanted to do a joint present with me for the Tenth?”

The rain guardian’s mouth formed an ‘oh’ as he finally understood where his boyfriend was going.  Yamamoto couldn’t help but smile at the offer as he whispered back, “Sure! That sounds cool.  Are you saving your money up to buy something expensive for your Secret Santa?”

The storm guardian scoffed at that idea.  “Are you kidding?  Why would I spend more money on my Secret Santa then I would on the Tenth?!

“So I take it that you’re not the Little Guy’s Secret Santa?”  Yamamoto stated confidently again, knowing that the little arcobaleno was a tough person to please, and didn’t like low quality products.  Of course, Yamamoto was already certain that Gokudera was Ryohei’s Secret Santa.  The smaller teen had made it too obvious with his entrance.  After the silver-haired boy  had entered the living room and screamed out his expletive of choice (earning an earful from Haru, who reprimanded Gokudera for swearing in front of the children) the smaller teen had glared murderous daggers towards Ryohei as he made his way across the living room back to his spot.

Yeah, Yamamoto was certain that everyone knew who Gokudera was the Secret Santa of except for maybe Ryohei himself.  The white-haired boxer was extremely dense, after all.

Yamamoto was broken out of his train of thought by Gokudera’s response.  “Hey!  We’re not supposed to tell others about our Secret Santa’s, so back off, Baseball Idiot!  I thought you were the one that always told me to save my money efficiently, so I don’t end up always starving at the end of the month!”

The aforementioned baseball idiot brought up his hands in a placating manner, his smile growing wider as he realized Gokudera was finally taking his words to heart (after how many months now?).  “Now, now, Gokudera, there’s no need to get riled up.  I understand, okay?”

Gokudera would never tell Yamamoto that he purposely spent his money, so that the baseball idiot would have a reason to come over.  He hated to be reminded of how much he actually cared for the taller boy.

Before Gokudera could say anything in return, both boys heard Yamamoto’s name being called from Reborn in the kitchen.  The raven-haired teen gave his boyfriend an apologetic smile before he got up and went to go draw a name. The silver-haired teen watched him go, secretly glad that the other seemed to be smiling more now, but also feeling guilty as his fears resurfaced to the forefront of his mind.

Gokudera felt a loss on what to do.

\----  

It didn’t take Yamamoto too long to reach the kitchen where the teen was met with the same image as Gokudera; Nana holding out the fedora hat, and Reborn standing on the table.  As the arcobaleno told Yamamoto to step forward and draw from the hat, the taller teen took a deep breath and, unlike his boyfriend before him, he reached in immediately and drew out a name.

The rain guardian was nervous to open the slip of paper and see who he got but, after reminding himself that no matter who he got, he was still going to find something for Gokudera (and Tsuna and his dad too.  It was going to take two of his paychecks to cover this shopping spree of his, much to his discomfort).  With renewed vigor, Yamamoto opened the slip of paper and was met with the name of Gokudera Hayato.

Yamamoto stared at the slip of paper in shock for a moment before joyous laugher burst from his mouth, relief washing over him like a warm blanket.

“Did you get someone you were hoping for?” Reborn asked, his all knowing eyes not matching his questioning tone.

“Haha, yeah,” Yamamoto replied after he had calmed down from his laughing fit.  “I honestly wasn’t expecting to get them.  Lucky me, I guess!”

“Good job, Yamamoto-kun!” Nana congratulated on the rain guardian’s lucky strike.  “I hope you have fun when you go shopping for them!”

The tanned baseball player thanked Tsuna’s mom in gratitude before he slipped the piece of paper into his pants pocket and made his way out of the kitchen and towards the living room again.  Yamamoto was so elated that he was Gokudera’s Secret Santa that he almost forgot one little problem.

What on earth was he going to get him?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here's the edited third chapter. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this, but life has been quite hectic as of late. Now, as for things you should know about this chapter, this is the chapter where the M rating finally comes into play. It's not exactly a lemon, but it's smutty ;D Besides that, the only warnings I have for this chapter are Gokudera's potty mouth, and major drama starting.

He knew he shouldn’t have been doing this, that he should have been pushing the other away, but he just couldn’t help it.  This felt **_way_** too good.  It always did.

Gokudera bit down on his lip, strangling another moan inside of his throat as he felt his companion lick a slow trail up his length, a shudder rolling down the silver-haired Italian’s spine in the process.  The little bomber arched his back into the touch as Yamamoto continued his lazy ministrations, Gokudera’s creamy skin becoming paler around his hands as they clutched the top and armrest of the couch desperately, his smaller body nestled into the corner of the sofa, unable to escape. 

Not that he wanted to.

The two boys had stayed at Tsuna’s house longer than what was probably deemed necessary (Gokudera still felt guilty for being late, so he insisted to Yamamoto that they should stay until everyone else left), and Yamamoto had only become more restless as the time went on.  Noticing that his taller companion was beginning to show signs of strain in containing himself, Gokudera had no choice but to leave sooner than he wanted.  He didn’t need Yamamoto jumping him in front of half of the Family, and in the Tenth’s living room, no less.

Walking back to his apartment had also been long and straining for the both of them, the only thing keeping Yamamoto contained, and Gokudera safe (for the moment), was the younger boy’s cell phone which he had used to contact his dad about staying over at the smaller teen’s apartment.  Gokudera couldn’t help but feel that Yamamoto really wanted to accomplish something that night—the taller boy had a constant look of determination on his face that would occasionally be aimed in Gokudera’s direction— and that only made the silver-haired teen feel more nervous about the situation he was getting himself into. 

The older boy’s fears were acknowledged the moment he shut his apartment door.  As soon as the latch of the deadbolt clicked into place, Yamamoto was on him, kissing him fiercely and desperately against the door.  Gokudera was so overcome by the rush of emotions to his system that he never stood a chance in fighting back.  All he could do was stiffen in surprise at the sudden attack and take whatever the taller teen dealt out.  Thankfully, Yamamoto knew that he was unnerving his partner because his kisses had slowed, becoming more passionate and languid as he started moving them towards the closest comfortable surface to continue where they had left off in the Takesushi kitchen. 

By this point, even though the little bomber had gotten his bearings on the situation again, he allowed his taller companion to move them towards the couch, his fears of their closeness beginning to return as they continued on their way, shedding themselves of all their clothing as they went.  Gokudera knew that he should have been pushing the other away, that he had to start distancing himself from the taller boy, but he just couldn’t do it.  He had felt guilty throughout the course of the night with Yamamoto being so depressed, so he felt like he had to make it up to him in some way.  The little Italian kept telling himself that he was only doing this to make the other feel better, that it didn’t mean anything, and that this would be the last time.

Of course, he had been saying that to himself for the past couple months but what could one more time hurt?

Gokudera’s breath hitched in his throat again as he struggled to contain another cry as his boyfriend licked his tip, bringing the storm guardian back from his musings.  The young athlete’s actions stirred memories within Gokudera that didn’t make the silver-haired teen all too thrilled, especially since it pertained to their current situation.  He was reminded about how he insisted that Yamamoto go slow every time that they were sexual with each other.  This was because Gokudera knew that if they went too fast, the physical pleasure would become too much for him to bear and that he would lose himself to the feelings that would overcome him, both physically and emotionally.  Since he wasn’t a big fan when it came to losing control over a situation, or **_any_** situation to be more precise, Gokudera knew that if they were to go slow, he would at least be able to think (if only slightly) and be able to stop their actions anytime he felt it was too much to handle.

If only he’d known how it would have made him feel in the long run, he would have preferred to just get things done and over with as fast as possible.

By going fast, Gokudera knew that he didn’t have time to dwell on things like how everything made him feel.  It would be over in a matter of minutes, and that would be it, but **_noooo_** , he wanted Yamamoto to go slow so that he could keep what little control he had over the situation. Because of that, it brought very unwanted feelings to the little bomber’s heart.  Because of that, he could feel every little thing that Yamamoto did to him; he had time to think and reflect on how the other’s touches made him feel.  Because of that, he gave Yamamoto more and more time to show how much he cared.

Because of that, Gokudera knew that every time they did this, he fell in love with Yamamoto more.

And he didn’t want that.  Not when there was so much to lose.

“Nngh!” Gokudera let out as he felt Yamamoto engulf him, biting his lip so hard that he could taste his own blood.  The little bomber felt such amazing heat overcome him that it took all of his willpower not to look down and see what the other was doing.  He knew that if he did, he would lose himself more to this feeling than what he was now.  It was bad enough that he could feel everything that Yamamoto did, from the small massages the baseball player’s thumbs were giving to the inside of his thighs, to the way that the other’s tongue wrapped around his shaft as he slowly bobbed his head up and down his length. Gokudera knew that if he looked at what the other was doing to him, he would definitely lose in this game of mind over pleasure.

While Gokudera was having his inner-battle, Yamamoto decided to try and take the bomber by surprise. After all, he didn’t like the fact that Gokudera was trying to keep his noises to a minimum.  With great confidence  that could only come from experience (He did this quite often with Gokudera, plus he was only allowed to touch him with his hands and mouth), Yamamoto completely engulfed the other boy to his hilt, trying not to gag as he deep throated the other and began to hum.  Gokudera shuttered as he felt the vibrations the other was emitting transmit themselves throughout his body.  He tried with all his might not to release a heavy lust-filled moan while Yamamoto continued to hum, the dark-haired teen slowly bringing his head up until only the tip of the other’s shaft was in his mouth.  From there, the dexterous baseball player brought one of his hands up from where he messaged the Italian’s inner thigh and wrapped the ends of his fingers around the base of the other’s length, twisting it in just the right way as he nipped the underside of the length’s head.

“Ah!” Gokudera exclaimed in surprise at the slight pain the other’s bite caused him, the twist of the other’s fingers quickly following up and mixing the pain with unimaginable pleasure.  The silver-haired teen could feel his abdominal muscles twitching and coiling together in an ominous fashion as he was brought unbearably close to the edge.

Yamamoto smirked triumphantly at the noise he drew from his companion’s lips, ready to put the first part of the plan he had thought up at Tsuna’s house into action.  Let’s see if Gokudera felt bored around him after this!

While Gokudera was trying and failing to catch his breath from the previous ‘attack’— his breaths came out in hard, fast, gasps as the uncomfortable feeling continued to coil in his lower muscles—Yamamoto took his hand from around the base of the other’s length and slowly trailed it down to the two spheres dangling beneath.  The raven-haired teen then grasped the other’s sac within his hand, massaging the ends with his thumb in a slow teasing manner as he gave the appendage a gentle squeeze.

“Ah! W-What a-are you d-doing?!”  Gokudera exclaimed fearfully, his eyes rounding in shock.  Without even thinking, the smaller teen looked down at Yamamoto as the new feeling overcame him, the taller teen looking up into the other’s jade-green eyes in the process, his own light-brown eyes sparkling with confidence.

“Don’t worry.  I’m just trying something new,” Yamamoto murmured reassuringly, wondering why he hadn’t tried being varied in their foreplay beforehand, but knowing that it took time for Gokudera to adjust to new things, especially if it concerned intimacy.  Before the little bomber could think twice and push him away, Yamamoto brought his face down and took one of the twitching orbs he was holding into his mouth, his tongue lapping feverishly over the new mound of flesh while his fingers continued to massage the other half of the sac.

“Aaah!… _Yamamoto_!” Was the silver-haired teen’s unwanted reply, calling out the other’s name in ecstasy and unconsciously bringing his hand that had been clutching the top of the sofa down to tangle into the other’s sweaty black hair. The storm guardian’s eyes closed in rapture as his hips bucked wantonly at the others actions, his neglected, weeping length looking for something to rub against in order to lessen the pressure building within it.  Noticing what the silver-haired teen wanted, Yamamoto brought his other hand from its place in Gokudera’s inner thigh to the needy appendage, pumping the other in time to the laps of his tongue and the twist of his fingers.

By this point, Gokudera had reached the moment he feared, for he was no longer able to think clearly.  “Y-Yamamoto!” the silver-haired bomber continued to call out, ecstasy filling his voice from every motion the other made.  “Hah...ah...oh, _Yamamoto_ ~”

Yamamoto continued with his ministrations, his face becoming pained as he felt his own length harden to the point of agony at the other’s calls.  Using every ounce of willpower he had to not take his companion then and there, Yamamoto continued to bestow pleasure onto the silver-haired Italian while he rubbed up against the base of the couch in front of  him, trying to lessen some of the pain and whimpering almost pitifully while he did so.

From there, the athlete’s movements became erratic as he broke one of his companion’s rules and started to move faster, pumping the other’s length with such intensity that Gokudera couldn’t help but tighten his hold on Yamamoto’s hair and thrust into the other’s hand in return, making it harder for Yamamoto to keep his mouth in place below the other’s shaft due to the erratic pace. 

“Aaaaaah! Y-Yama- ** _Yamamoto~_**!” Were the last words that Gokudera screamed before white stars exploded behind his eyes and a hot liquid sprayed onto his stomach.  The smaller teen convulsed and moaned in rapture as he was brought to completion, his taller companion continuing to milk him thoroughly with his actions until the little bomber was spent. 

As Gokudera fell limp against the corner of the couch from post-coital bliss, his head brought back and resting against the top corner of the sofa, he tried to get his breathing back under control.  The little Italian took slow, shaking breaths, his brain so muddled up from the pleasure that he couldn’t draw the energy to be angry with his idiotic boyfriend for breaking the ‘go slow’ rule.  Gokudera was soon brought out of his musings when he felt something warm and wet lick up his length again.  Against his better judgment (his higher brain functioning was still a bit on the hazy side) the silver-haired teen lazily eyed his taller companion and his actions, one of his eyelids only able to open halfway to take in the view as he was too tired to do much else.

What he saw took what little breath he had away.

Yamamoto was taking it upon himself to clean the mess Gokudera had made from his orgasm.  The taller teen was giving the other’s now-soft member long, agonizingly slow licks, the black-haired teen’s eyes closing in bliss at the end of each stroke as he took up the other’s seed.  Gokudera felt another shiver run down his spine at the sight, berating himself for not pushing the other away before he had become too involved with their actions.  Any form of logical thinking he had in that short moment stopped, though, when Yamamoto continued on his cleaning spree, his lust-filled caramel orbs meeting Gokudera’s lazy light-green as he licked a slow trail up the smaller boy’s stomach. 

Gokudera quickly shut his eyes at the sight, a small shuttering moan leaving his mouth as he felt his member twitch and spring slowly back to life at the sight.  This was bad.  This was very, very, bad.  He was getting too caught up in the other.  The silver-haired teen knew he had to get out of there before he was completely overcome by Yamamoto **_again_**.

As Yamamoto finished his cleaning spree with a lick of his lips, he couldn’t help but feel the blushing bomber’s little problem as it grew and arched against his chest.  The black-haired teen let out a breathy laugh as he witnessed Gokudera growing hard again.  “You’re so anxious for me to pleasure you again that you forgot that you still haven’t returned the favor yet, Gokudera.”

“I-Idiot,” Gokudera stuttered out weakly as he watched the well tanned athlete get up from his kneeling position on the floor to kneel down on the cushion next to him.  “W-Who said that I w-wanted you to?”

Yamamoto just smirked knowingly with a heavy-lidded gaze as he leaned in closer to Gokudera, his hands landing upon the top and arm of the couch along with his companions’ in a dominating stance.  “Your body doesn’t lie, Gokudera.  Now, are you going to help me out or not?”

As Yamamoto’s words registered in his ears, Gokudera felt the tip of the tanned baseball player’s engorged member come to rest on his stomach, hot and dripping and dangerously close to his own aching length, which was still continuing to grow, looking very much like it was trying desperately to reach its partner.  As the bomber glanced down at Yamamoto’s waiting length, he gulped in trepidation.  He was only going to return the favor and then they could stop (he would take care of his own little problem later in the bathroom), that’s what he kept telling himself anyway. 

Gaining more confidence from his thoughts, Gokudera brought is arm up from the couch’s armrest and started to reach down towards the other to do his usual; a quick hand-job (like hell he was going to put his mouth around **_that_**!). Before he could, though, Yamamoto’s hand that had been also resting on the armrest grabbed the bomber’s approaching appendage and held it back.  The silver-haired teen gazed up at the other in confusion as he felt Yamamoto’s hand come to rest in his own, wondering why the taller teen would stop him after he had asked him to touch him in the first place.

Yamamoto gave a small sheepish smile at the silver-haired teen’s confused stare.  “Sorry, Gokudera, I know I asked for your help but…” the taller teen hesitated as he gazed into Gokudera’s green depths with an almost pleading look.  “I was wondering if we could try something a little different from what you usually do.”

Gokudera’s whole body stiffened at the suggestion, his jade-green eyes wavering back in forth in anxiety like they were unwilling to believe what the other was asking of him.  “Why?” The silver-haired teen asked shortly, backing further into the corner of the couch out of instinct to try and defend himself, his quick-thinking mind coming up with different ways he could escape from the other’s hold incase this turned out badly.  The idiot had already tried something different today, so why should they go further?  This could only lead to something troublesome.    

Noticing his companion’s defensive posture, Yamamoto was quick to try and calm him.  “It’s okay, Gokudera,” The raven-haired teen murmured comfortingly as he reached out to cup the side of the frightened teen’s face with a gentle hand, ignoring the hurt he felt as the smaller teen flinched at the touch.  “I promise I won’t hurt you.  I know you’re scared of doing… ** _that_** …but I promise you that we won’t do it.”

Gokudera’s eyes narrowed in hostility at the suggestion that he was scared of having sex, because he was definitely not afraid of something like that!  Okay, so maybe he was a little worried about the pain it would cause him, but he could handle physical pain no problem, after all, he seemed to have a rather high tolerance for it.  No, it was the emotional pain that he knew would come with it that scared him.  Submitting himself to Yamamoto would only make it harder to let him go, he couldn’t afford to strengthen their emotional bond any further.

The darker-skinned teen continued when he saw his boyfriend become angry at his suggestion. His hazel-brown eyes shined compassionately down on his lover, a reassuring smile flitting over his face.  “I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to, Gokudera.  Remember that.  What I was thinking of doing is something that would pleasure both of us without the added pain of…you know…”

Gokudera’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as the other’s words drifted off awkwardly.  Just what was Yamamoto suggesting?  Before he could ask, the taller teen must have noticed his scrutiny, because his eyes became beseeching once again.

“Don’t you trust me, Gokudera?” Yamamoto implored, his soft, gentle gaze practically begging for the other to say that he did.

As he felt the other’s eyes bore into his, Gokudera had to quickly turn his head away, subconsciously nestling his face into the hand that was still cupping his cheek as if asking it to help him hide from the question.  He hated seeing such a raw and open look on Yamamoto’s face; one that was filled with expectation but laced with uncertainty.  How could he say anything when that look forced him to realize his actions were hurting the other?  That he was the reason for most of Yamamoto’s pain. The knowledge of this made his gut retch with guilt, effectively forcing his mouth shut from answering the other’s question, despite knowing the answer.

He knew he trusted Yamamoto way too much.

Seeing Gokudera turn away from him only proved to hurt Yamamoto further, the dark-haired teen’s brows furrowing together in bafflement at the look of guilt etched onto his boyfriend’s features.  Before he could voice his concern, he felt soft breath hit the inside of his hand as Gokudera said something that was too muffled to discern.

“…Did you say something, Gokudera?” Yamamoto questioned, uncertain if he actually had heard the other speak.

With an irritated groan, Gokudera turned his head to face his idiot of a boyfriend and repeated his question.  “I said: what were you planning to do?”  And with that finally out in the open, the smaller teen turned his head into the other boy’s hand again, a blush adorning his cheeks.

Yamamoto could only blink in a stupefied manner until he finally understood what the reluctant Italian was asking; a look of jubilation spreading across the taller teen’s face in the process.  With excitement coursing through his veins again, Yamamoto quickly swooped down and planted a quick kiss to Gokudera’s free cheek, stroking the other cheek he was holding with his thumb afterwards. “It’s nothing too complicated,” Yamamoto began to explain as his hand finally left Gokudera’s face to show the other what they were going to do.  “Look.  I’ll just take a hold of us like this…”

 It was here that Gokudera felt the other’s warm, calloused, hand take a hold of his throbbing manhood and hold it against his own.  The smaller teen’s breath hitched as overwhelming warmth pervaded his senses.  He could distinctly feel Yamamoto twitch against him and shudder at the intimate contact that they weren’t used to sharing—the other’s words coming out in shaky breaths now.

“A-And then we…we move…” Yamamoto finished in a husky tremor, his eyes fogging over in desire as he gave an experimental roll of his hips, his and Gokudera’s members sliding against each other in the process.

The young Italian gasped at the feeling and almost lost himself as the other continued to roll his hips into him at a slow and steady pace, both of them moaning at the delicious friction they were creating.

“Oh…oh gods…Gokudera… _Gokudera_ …” Yamamoto moaned out between thrusts as he squeezed their lengths closer together in his hand, the friction doubling as he continued to grind into the now mewling and writhing teen below him.  With one of his hands still holding them together and the other tightening onto the top of the couch, Yamamoto brought his head down to rest his forehead against the indent of Gokudera’s shoulder and neck, the pleasure overtaking him as he continued to call out his lover’s name like a mantra.  He loved every second he spent with the other and every moment that they experienced together. Yamamoto wished for it to never end.

“Ah…hah…shit...” Gokudera choked out between shuddering breaths, feeling himself slip closer and closer to the edge as he held Yamamoto against him and thrust back in time with the other’s motions.  He was going to lose himself to this feeling again, to the other sighing and grinding pleasurably against him.  Gokudera’s mind was becoming cloudy as the pleasure continued to escalate, his thoughts flowing unbidden through his head, no longer restrained.  The silver-haired teen loved this feeling, the feeling of companionship, the sound of his name on the other’s lips, and the feeling of euphoria that shot down his spine with each thrust.  He loved this.  He loved Yamamoto so much that—Oh **_shit_**!

As if he had just been struck by lightning, Gokudera’s eyes widened in panic.  He could feel himself becoming more attached to the boy grinding against him; more drawn to him then he had ever felt before. 

This was bad—no, this was on the verge of being a complete fucking disaster!  He couldn’t let this happen!

“Yama-Yamamoto…stop…” Gokudera whimpered out barely above a whisper, unable to find his voice in his panic as he clutched at the other boy’s back in alarm.  He could feel his body stiffen in fear as it no longer took pleasure in the actions they were committing. 

Unable to hear the other’s pleas through the pleasure overriding his senses, Yamamoto actually began to quicken his pace, thrusting against the other faster in exhilaration.  Gokudera began to panic as he felt helpless underneath the taller teen, his nails scratching at the other’s back uselessly as he tried to regain his basic motor functions to push the other off him through his terror, the once pleasurable actions he felt now becoming frightening. 

“Ah!  Please, stop!  Stop!” Gokudera begged as his body continued to freeze up, feeling completely out of control as his mind tried to decide between fight or flight. He couldn’t stop Yamamoto, and he couldn’t control his own body; he was even beginning to feel his eyes water up with unwanted tears.  A second later, his body finally decided to fight back instead of getting the hell out of there, which proved more effective as Gokudera was finally able to get a good hold of the other’s shoulders and, with all his reserved strength, began to push him off.

“I…said…STOP!” Gokudera screamed as he flung the raven-haired teen across the couch, the other hitting the opposite corner with a loud, “Oomph!”

Yamamoto was in a daze as he felt his back smack unceremoniously into the other corner of the couch.  Unable to figure out what had happened, he gazed across to his companion on the other side, wondering what had gotten into Gokudera to push him off like that.  Hadn’t they been enjoying themselves?

What Yamamoto saw almost made his heart stop.

There, on the opposite side of the sofa, sat Gokudera.  He was curled up into a defensive ball with his face hidden in his legs and his arms wrapped around them, his whole body shaking like a leaf in a storm.

“G-Gokudera…?” Yamamoto whispered out in bewilderment, too shocked at what he was seeing to form a coherent sentence, let alone move.  What had happened?  Did he do something wrong?  Had he hurt him?!

Terrified at the last thought, Yamamoto’s body sprung into action.  He quickly shuffled over to his shaken partner, gently grabbing hold of the smaller teen’s shoulders as he gave the other a once over, checking to see if his loved one was in pain.  “Did I hurt you, Gokudera?!  Is something wrong?!” Yamamoto questioned with a panicking tone as he waited desperately for the silver-haired teen to respond to him, hell, to even look at him!

Gokudera just stiffened at the other’s touch, startled from his brewing thoughts. Even though being helpless under Yamamoto had been frightening, he wasn’t afraid of the other.  After all, it was his fear of losing control of himself and allowing himself to become closer with Yamamoto that had caused him to react in such a terrified way. Gokudera hated himself for getting too caught up in their actions, for allowing himself to submit, and for secretly wishing Yamamoto would touch him like that again. 

He felt disgusted with himself.

Not able to stand being in the other’s presence any longer because of his fear, Gokudera abruptly brushed Yamamoto’s hands off his shoulders and stood up, quickly turning away from the taller teen’s questioning eyes. 

“Gokudera, what—”

“I’m going to use the bathroom first,” The storm guardian interrupted with restrained emotion.  “I have a…little problem that I still need to fix.”  And with that, the little Italian began scooping up his clothes from around the couch and doorway, making sure that he never laid eyes on the concerned teen still sitting flabbergasted on the couch behind him.

Yamamoto watched as the other went about his duties, not understanding what the older teen meant until his eyes came to rest on Gokudera’s lower half, the other’s member still hard and prominent between his legs.  At the reminder, Yamamoto felt his own member throb painfully at not being relieved of its overdue burden.  He had been so close to climax too before Gokudera had pushed him off.

The slamming of the bathroom door brought the raven-haired teen out of his thoughts.  He peered over the couch to see the door next to Gokudera’s bedroom closed; its rough, wooden exterior staring back at him cold and unforgiving.  All Yamamoto could do was sit there on the couch in his pain and awkwardness as he waited for Gokudera to get done, his rock hard member begging for some sort of release and soon.  Instead of touching himself to relieve the pain then and there, the confused rain guardian chose to, instead, concern himself with the more pressing issue of why Gokudera had pushed him away.  He obviously wasn’t hurt, since he could move just fine, all things considering.  So why did he throw him off?

As Yamamoto thought heavily over this new predicament, he leaned back into the couch to try and make himself somewhat comfortable but abruptly leaned forward again with a hiss of pain.  Reaching behind himself to feel his back, the taller teen could feel open, erratically placed, scratch marks over the majority of his upper back and shoulders.  How did those get there? 

Feeling neglected again, the engorged flesh between the rain guardian’s legs gave a aching shudder, the taller teen beginning to feel lightheaded from the pain.  Deciding that thinking over his predicament with Gokudera was going to have to wait, Yamamoto ambled his way over to the bathroom door, wondering what was taking Gokudera so long. 

Before he could knock and question the other, Yamamoto stopped himself at hearing the sound of running water.  Was Gokudera taking a shower? Curious, the raven-haired teen pressed his head to the wooden door and listened carefully, distinctly hearing tiny drops of water hit and scatter on the other side of the door.

Yamamoto could feel himself becoming angry as the sound reached his ears.  First, Gokudera had pushed him away when he was so close to release and left without any explanation, and now—knowing that Yamamoto hadn’t found any relief even once during their little sexual excursion—Gokudera decided to hog the bathroom first to relieve himself for a second time and was taking his sweet time in a shower to boot!  The raven-haired teen felt completely offended by the others actions but stopped his brewing thoughts when the open scratches on his back gave another painful twinge.  As soon as he thought about the scratches, Yamamoto’s mind ran a mile a minute as he pushed himself away from the door, finally adding up his silver-haired companion’s earlier behavior with the mysterious scratches on his back.

‘ _Was_ …’ Yamamoto thought to himself as he swallowed a painful lump in his throat.  ‘ _Was Gokudera trying to push me away that whole time_?’

The tall athlete tried to argue with himself that he had heard Gokudera moaning to show that he was enjoying their activity, but he couldn’t help but remember the look of fear on the other’s face when he had brought up doing something different in the first place. What’s more, he could only remember what had transpired between them up to a certain point. Everything else was hazy and muddled, and no amount of reflective thinking could help him remember.  Had he forced himself onto Gokudera?  When he had been explaining to the other on what they were going to do he—oh god, he had just started **_moving_** at the end of his explanation without even consulting his fearful lover if he wanted to try it out or not!  He had unconsciously forced himself onto Gokudera, and the smaller teen had been fighting him off the whole time, hence the erratic scratch marks on his back and why he was taking a shower.  The smaller teen was washing himself because he probably felt violated and ashamed!

Yamamoto could feel his legs growing weak as his mind bombarded him with assumptions, completely forgetting that Gokudera had actually been enjoying himself for the first part of their connection, as guilt and grief overtook him.  Finding himself unable to stand any longer, Yamamoto placed his back against the wall between the bathroom door and Gokudera’s bedroom, sliding down until he was seated upon the cold wooden floor, his face buried in his hands.

He thought he was going to be sick.

* * *

 

Sadly, Yamamoto’s assumptions had only been partially correct.

As Gokudera continued to let the cold, stinging shower water run down his body, his mind continued to replay the scene on the couch.  Yamamoto hadn’t unconsciously forced himself upon Gokudera, because the moment the taller teen began to move, Gokudera had willingly gone with the motions.  The silver-haired teen had fought back but only because he was panicking that he had liked—no, that he had **_loved_** the feeling the other was bringing him. And now he was taking a shower because he felt ashamed that he not only loved the feeling of the other against him, he **_craved_** for it.  Gokudera never knew how much he had wanted Yamamoto to touch him like that.  He had always feared of being so close to the other that he had forced himself to blanch at the very thought of it, and now, he wanted it more than anything else.

The feisty bomber continued to pump himself viciously as he leaned against the front of the shower, infuriated with himself for making his worst fears come true; for wanting Yamamoto more than he already did, and for caring for that stupid idiot!  He hated himself! 

As the furious teen brought himself over the edge and spilled his contents into the drain below, he slid down to the floor in a boneless heap, watching the dirty water swirl into the drain in a heartbroken trance.

How could he possibly push Yamamoto away now when he—no, no, he had to stay on track.  Gokudera shook his head, water droplets shaking loose from his wet tresses and adding themselves to the wet porcelain below.  He couldn’t let this get to him or things would become too painful. It was for the best that he let Yamamoto go; he had to.  **_That_** moment didn’t mean anything, and it didn’t matter. Yamamoto meant nothing more to him then he did before they had reached the apartment.

With renewed determination, Gokudera stood back up and shut off the shower.  He kept reminding himself of his previous thoughts, that pushing Yamamoto away was the best for **_both_** of them. The mafia world was too cruel for whatever relationship they had to possibly work.

Frowning sadly at the thought and readying himself for what he was about to do, Gokudera dried himself off and got dressed.

As of now, he was going to push Yamamoto away.

* * *

 

By this time, Yamamoto had decided that gathering his clothes up from the ground was a more productive idea than moping on the floor, and was in the process of doing just that, when he heard the bathroom door swing open.  The taller teen’s eyes were met with the face of a solemn Gokudera, the smaller, pale-skinned bomber refusing to meet his eyes because the ground seemed far more interesting to look at.

“The bathroom’s yours.  I’m going to bed,”  The silver-haired teen mumbled out despondently, his eyes averted to the floor as he made his way into the room next door.   

Before Yamamoto could call out to the other, the bedroom door was slammed shut, the noise echoing throughout the small apartment with a deafening finality.  The raven-haired teen tried to swallow the bile that rose in the back of his throat as he was reminded of his actions and what he had unconsciously done to one of the people he loved.

Still feeling a dull ache from his lower-half—even though the whining appendage had become softer during his long wait, it still kind of hurt—Yamamoto shook the miserable thoughts from his head and gathered up the rest of his clothes.  He would try and apologize to Gokudera after he took care of some unfinished business.

* * *

 

It was a couple minutes later that a full-dressed Yamamoto found himself staring at Gokudera’s bedroom door, anxiety and misery pounding down on him like a relentless rain.  He was so overwhelmed with questions on what he was supposed to do at that moment that he didn’t know where to turn.  Obviously, he had hurt Gokudera to the point where the other felt ashamed of himself and couldn’t even bear to look at him.  Plus, the smaller teen had closed his bedroom door right in front of his face.  It was a sign that he wasn’t allowed to come in, right? But how could he just leave after everything that happened?  How could he just leave everything as it was?  This whole situation was like a fresh wound, raw and bleeding, and if left untreated it would only become worse.

So, despite knowing that Gokudera didn’t want him anywhere near him, Yamamoto couldn’t bring himself to leave, not without trying to fix this, not without expressing to the other how horrible he felt for hurting him.  Swallowing down his trepidation (it felt like he was swallowing razor blades), Yamamoto hesitantly knocked on the door, hoping to hear a response from the occupant inside.

Of course, he already knew that there wouldn’t be an answer.

As the obvious silence rung throughout the room, Yamamoto swallowed hard again and rapped louder upon the bedroom door, this time, bringing himself to actually speak.  “G-Gokudera? Can I come in?” He asked as delicately and gently as he could, afraid if he spoke any louder that he would scare the other teen more than he already did.

Still, there was no answer.

Yamamoto could feel his eyes welling up at the thought of his beloved bomber not wanting to see him, but quickly put those thoughts to the side.  Maybe Gokudera was sleeping already?  Hoping that that was the reason behind the silence, the raven-haired rain guardian took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door, peeking his head into the room just enough so that he could see where Gokudera was without fully entering the room.  The taller boy’s eyes were fast in picking up the curled-in form of the silver-haired teen laying on the bed, his back facing towards the door with the blankets only covering him from the waist down.  Yamamoto noticed the other was wearing a grey night-shirt and red sweat pants to bed and couldn’t help but feel the guilt in his stomach skyrocket at the sight.  Having slept in the same bed as the smoking bomber many times before, Yamamoto knew that Gokudera usually only wore his boxers or sweat pants to bed just like he did, so seeing the other wearing a shirt under the circumstances spoke volumes of how insecure the other was feeling at the moment.

Unable to bring himself to leave after seeing this, Yamamoto fully entered the room and shut the door behind him.  He knew from the way the other was breathing that Gokudera wasn’t asleep yet.  In fact, the little bomber’s back was so taut with tension that it would be a miracle if the other felt sleepy at all. 

Holding his sick feelings at bay, Yamamoto finally found the resolve to ask.  “Gokudera…can I talk to you?”

If it was possible, the silver-haired Italian’s back stiffened even more at the other’s words, clearly on the defensive, but not stopping the other from doing whatever he wanted.  The silence in the room only magnified that observation. 

Shifting his feet awkwardly, Yamamoto somehow found the courage within himself to actually walk up to the twin sized bed and sit on the edge right behind his boyfriend, the other still not turning around to look at him or to yell at him to get lost.  Knowing that the horrible twist in his stomach wasn’t going to go away if he just stared at the smaller teen’s back like a kicked puppy, Yamamoto opened his mouth to do what he came to do; apologize.  “I…” He swallowed thickly, trying to find the right words to describe how disgusted he felt with himself.  “I’m so sorry, Gokudera, for…you know…I mean…it’s just… _crap_ …”

If the situation wasn’t so serious, Gokudera would have probably chuckled at the fact of Yamamoto being lost for words, but the silver-haired teen continued to keep his back to the other and tried to ignore him.  Since the idiot didn’t get the obvious hint to leave him alone (how many times had he told the other that he wanted to be by himself when his bedroom door was shut?! Honestly!), Gokudera just let him continue to apologize over something that he shouldn’t feel bad about in the first place.  It didn’t matter what the taller teen did, because Gokudera wasn’t going to respond anyway.

“I feel... ** _horrible_** …for what I did, Gokudera,” Yamamoto started off again, his hazel-eyes saddened and distraught and his voice shaking with self-contempt.  “I…If you can’t forgive me for…for forcing myself on you the way I did, I understand.”

Gokudera lifted an eyebrow at the other’s voice, his green eyes wavering in confusion as he took in the words Yamamoto was saying.  When he had left Yamamoto, the other had been concerned about him and confused, and now he seemed to have come to the conclusion that he had taken advantage of him in some way. The smaller teen was about to turn around and yell at his companion for being the idiot that he was (even though he could see how the other came to the conclusion in the first place) but stopped himself at the last minute in aggravation.  Now wasn’t the time to be making up with the idiot!  He had to push the other away!  So, with that, Gokudera remained quiet and stared out the window next to his side of the bed, trying to distract himself with the glistening stars outside instead of the guilt beginning to build within him.

Taking in the other’s stagnant silence as a sign of not being forgiven, Yamamoto was finding it harder in keeping himself composed.  What was he expecting? No one could be easily forgiven for doing something as horrible as he did.  What he had done was the number one rule you never broke in a relationship, and by taking advantage of Gokudera, he was pretty sure that whatever form of relationship they had was completely moot now since he had broken the other’s trust. 

Feeling that he was beginning to choke up at the thought, the raven-haired teen tried to speak even though it felt like his mouth had gone dry.  The silence was so suffocating and the moment so **_final_** that Yamamoto couldn’t help but wonder if this was the last time that Gokudera would let him be near him.  Unwilling to grasp such a unwanted concept, but knowing it was probably true, Yamamoto knew that this could be his last chance to touch his beloved Gokudera, to hold him…but he just couldn’t go up and touch the other!  Not after everything that had happened! 

Still desperate to at least hold the other but feeling sickened by his own selfishness, Yamamoto brought himself to desperately ask, “C-Can I…can I hold you, Gokudera?  Please…” 

Gokudera’s breath hitched painfully in his throat as he registered his lover’s voice.  It was filled with so much pain and anguish that it took everything in Gokudera’s being to not turn around and throw himself at the other.  The silver-haired teen could feel his chest constrict painfully with guilt, but kept telling himself to stay strong.  He couldn’t lose out now, not when this was the closest he had ever gotten to fully pushing Yamamoto away.  Keeping himself silent, but shifting uncomfortable as he felt the other’s tortuous gaze on him, Gokudera scrunched his eyes up and prayed that the other would just get the hint and go away before he did something he would regret.

Jade-green eyes shot open at feeling a hesitant touch placed upon his shoulder.  A hot, stinging wave spread across his whole body in a matter of seconds, almost making Gokudera forget how to breathe when the overwhelming touch was replaced by a new one, the teen’s smaller body becoming suddenly incased within the arms of the person behind him.  As the silver-haired teen stiffened at the stifling touch, he felt Yamamoto bury his head into the crook of his neck, the other’s fine black-hairs tickling the side of his cheek.  Soon, the overwhelming feeling of being held subsided and Gokudera lay limply in the other’s arms, not entirely sure on what to do in his current situation. 

Before the ingenious storm guardian could come up with an effective plan on getting the darker-haired teen off him, he felt something peculiar along his neckline.  At first, he thought Yamamoto was licking his neck because of how hot and wet it felt, but as the older teen felt the feeling spread to his shoulder and upper back, his shirt suddenly feeling wet against his skin...

…Oh **_shit_**!  **_No,no,no,no,no,no_**! This was not happening!  He did not just make—

Gokudera could distinctly hear a loud sniffle from the person behind him, the sound barely masked by the shoulder they currently had their face buried in, and felt the back of his shirt becoming wetter as the seconds ticked by.

 ** _Oh God_**!  **_Fuck_**!  What should he do?! **_What should he do_**?! He had **_never_** been in this sort of situation before!  **_Oh fuck_** , he had just made Yamamoto cry! **_Shit_**! **_Shit_**! **_Shit_**!

Gokudera continued to panic as he felt the lamenting teen hold him tighter against his body, like he was afraid the smaller boy would run away.  As much as that thought actually appealed to him, Gokudera had to fight the uncontrollable guilt he felt in the other’s arms.  The smaller teen’s chest was constricting so painfully with remorse that it felt like his heart was going to burst open from the pressure as some form of twisted retribution for his ailing lover.  A part of him could only hope it did so that he didn’t have to deal with this situation!  Gokudera had never been one for comfort, and had never been a person to try and comfort others, but he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel the incredible urge to do so now. 

Of course, Gokudera, for his sanity’s and image’s sake, continued to lie to himself, reassuring himself that everything was alright, and that he had to keep ignoring the other until he’d go away.  He had to let the other go!  It was the best way, damn it!

Gokudera felt Yamamoto’s calloused hands clutch at his chest, the grey fabric tightening around the other’s fingers as a shuddering sob escaped from him, shaking the silver-haired teen’s body to its core.

…Well **_fuck_**!

Turning his body around so fast he was surprised he didn’t experience whiplash, Gokudera flung himself at a suffering Yamamoto.  He grabbed the back of the taller teen’s head and smashed their lips together in a searing kiss, effectively stopping the other from crying. Surprised at this sudden turn of events, Yamamoto’s teary eyes could only widen in shock as he felt his teeth clash painfully against his companion’s, his lips bruising at the random action. 

Before Yamamoto could so much as wonder on what was going on, he felt the storm guardian’s tongue pry open his lips and force its way into his mouth, lavishing every inch of the wet cavern in a feverish frenzy.  Yamamoto could only close his eyes at the feeling and hold on to the other for dear life as Gokudera’s tongue started dancing around his, enticing it to reciprocate. 

Desperate for any sort of contact from the smaller teen, Yamamoto complied and started kissing back, his tongue a flurry of motion as it tangled with the other’s in a battle of dominance, completely forgetting his confusion at the other’s actions, if just for the moment.

From there, their kissing became more frantic as the two teen’s tongues wildly clashed inside and outside of their mouths while they tried to get themselves as close to each other as they possibly could.  Gokudera couldn’t help but run his hands through the other’s hair frantically as they held each other close, their kissing becoming more heated as the minutes ticked by. The smaller teen wrapped his legs around the other’s waist soon after as they continued to make out sideways on the bed, completely forgetting himself as he got lost in the moment and started grinding up against Yamamoto in an animalistic fashion, wanting nothing more than to continue where they had left off.

As Yamamoto moaned lustfully into his mouth at the promiscuous action, Gokudera awoke from the heated kiss like he had been slapped in the face.  What was he **_doing_**?!

As quick as a bolt of lightning, Gokudera came to his senses and shoved himself off of Yamamoto and returned to his previous position of ignoring the other and staring at the wall, acting as if nothing had happened.  Seething at the fact that he had fallen for the other’s guilt trip and was now back to square one of his plan, **_again_** , Gokudera waited for the questions he was certain the other was dying to ask.

Yamamoto, on the other hand, could only blink the hazy cloud of lust out of his eyes in confusion, wondering what the hell had happened in the last few minutes.  One moment he was agonizing over the fact that Gokudera probably wanted nothing more to do with him, and the next, the said teen who he had thought he had violated over a half-hour ago was making out with him and grinding against him.  What was going on?!  Yamamoto was pretty sure that victims of sexual assault didn’t get up and start making out with their abusers on a given whim.  Had he been mistaken this whole time?  If so, then why was Gokudera ignoring him before and acting like nothing happened now?  Had he done something to hurt the other again?

Clutching his head in confusion as the pain from an oncoming headache threatened to floor him, Yamamoto stared at Gokudera’s back, trying to figure out what the other teen was trying to accomplish.

Gokudera was such an agonizing mess of contradictions.

Still unsure of what to do, Yamamoto decided that trying to fill in the silence was best. 

“Um…” The younger teen started, his hazel eyes overshadowing with guilt as his mind ran over his previous thoughts.  “I’m sorry if I hurt you again, Gokudera.  Really, I am. I know I might have been overreacting, and that I shouldn’t have…cried like that.” Yamamoto continued on, embarrassed at his admittance.  He rubbed his head in agitation as he felt his headache continue to grow, wondering on how he was going to say what he wanted to next.  “I know I must have made you feel uncomfortable but…I just felt so horrible!  I noticed the scratch marks on my back, and that you were taking a shower, so I assumed that I must have done something to you to make you feel disgusted with yourself.  I’m just…so, so, sorry for making you feel ashamed, Gokudera, I don’t…I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

Yamamoto was so caught up in his guilt that it wasn’t a wonder why he didn’t notice the same feelings emanating from his silver-haired companion.  Gokudera felt sick to his stomach that Yamamoto was apologizing to him like it was his fault that Gokudera had just flown at him and had started grinding against him like a horny animal in heat.  What the hell was wrong with this idiot?!  Apologizing for nothing and for misunderstanding the situation!  What a complete dumbass!  Gokudera had to take deep calming breaths to stop himself from turning around and punching the other in the face for being so stupid.  He couldn’t lose any form of control like that again; he had to push Yamamoto away, guilt be damned!

“Che, you should feel bad for what you did, Baseball Idiot,” Gokudera sneered out in disdain, still turned away from the guilt ridden teen behind him.

Yamamoto felt like he had been punched and stabbed in the gut at the same time.  His hazel eyes darkened in remorse.  “I’m sorry,” He whispered out in anguish, still confused by the other’s previous actions, but finally understanding that he had been right about his assumptions and that the other was still angry with him.

“A-As you should be!” Gokudera barely choked out in an aggressive manner as he felt his walls begin to crumble at feeling the other’s pain. Shit, this was becoming harder by the minute.

The raven-haired teen stared forlornly at the other’s back, hoping that Gokudera could find it in himself to forgive him, if not now, then someday.  Not knowing where he stood with the other anymore, Yamamoto was reminded of an earlier thought he had at Tsuna’s house. 

Curious to know the answer despite the situation—he was afraid that silence would only worsen their status with each other—Yamamoto asked, “I know this is kind of random,” The raven-haired teen began, his words still filled with pain but now holding an air of curiosity, “but, and I’m just assuming this, if you didn’t draw my name for your Secret Santa, w-would you still have bought me a present, Gokudera?”

Gokudera’s whole body ran ridged at the question.  As much as he wanted to ask the baseball player on why the hell he would randomly bring that up, he couldn’t. The silver-haired teen had been so preoccupied with finding a gift for the Tenth (and Ryohei after he had drawn the stupid Lawn Head’s name), and about pushing Yamamoto away (despite trying to make him feel better throughout the night), he had completely forgotten about getting a present for him!

…Well…like he said, he was trying to push Yamamoto away, wasn’t he?  Why should he get a Christmas gift for someone that he wasn’t going to be around?  Heck, not giving the idiot a Christmas gift would only drive it in that he didn’t want to be involved with him anymore!  With renewed vigor, Gokudera spat.  “What the hell?!  Just shut up and go to bed already!  I’ve had enough of your stupidity for one night!”

Feeling rather smug now that he had finally seemed to get his point across—Yamamoto was rather silent—Gokudera settled down to sleep only to flinch when he felt the other wrap his arms around him again.  He was about to tell the other off for holding him again but once he felt the taller teen bury his face into his back and clutch at him desperately like a rock climber hanging off the edge of a cliff—thankfully, no tears this time—Gokudera couldn’t bring himself to.  In fact, the smugness he felt a second ago dissipated into nothing as he was overcome with shame and disappointment from his actions.

He’d start looking for a present tomorrow.

* * *

 

It had been weeks since that incident in his apartment all those nights ago, and Gokudera felt like he was either going to break in two or go bat-shit insane.  The little Italian was currently cooped up in his apartment, at a loss for what to do.  He had never found a suitable gift for Yamamoto, but it didn’t help that half of the time he would give up looking before he even tried, reminding himself that he was trying to get out of his relationship with the idiot, not trying to mend it!  And then he would remember the way it felt when the taller teen had desperately held onto him that night, like if he didn’t he would crumble away into dust if he didn’t have something solid to hold onto, and Gokudera would resume his search for an elusive present once again, only to come up empty many hours later.

Despite his bad luck and indecisiveness, Gokudera had at least been able to purchase a present for Ryohei.  He had been searching through a sporting goods store the next town over—actually, it was more like a city that was twice the size of Namimori, but who cared about the specifics—and had found a pair of black boxing gloves that had skulls on the top of them with red and yellow flames displayed along the sides.  The small Italian couldn’t help but be mesmerized by them.  He could see Ryohei wearing them (they were practically screaming “Extreme!” at the top of their non-existent lungs), and he could imagine the flames along the sides as cool looking blurs of red when the gloves would be punched and jabbed in rapid succession. 

Hating that he was buying the gift in the first place, but feeling a little better about it since they looked cool (when were skulls not cool?), Gokudera sighed in defeat and purchased the pricy items after making sure that he got the right size of gloves from Lawn Head’s sister.  He was relieved that he still had enough money from his Vongola earnings and Takesushi paycheck to pay for the gloves and to buy food for himself at the end of the month, since Yamamoto hardly came over anymore.  That meant he was on his own for food once again.

At the reminder of food, Gokudera couldn’t help but reminisce over the dishes that Yamamoto used to prepare for him, about how he looked when he wore that stupid fish-shaped apron he still had hanging up in his kitchen, or about how the idiot would act so excited when trying out a new recipe and actually have it turn out right.  Gokudera had to stop the stupid dreamy smile that was starting to spread across his face at the memories.  He was acting like Yamamoto wasn’t his boyfriend anymore.

Of course, Gokudera didn’t actually know what to classify them as at the moment, either.  Yamamoto still came over every once in a while to check up on him but he mainly gave Gokudera space even when they worked together, his usually bright hazel eyes dull and filled with shame every time the smaller teen saw him.  Gokudera had finally gotten the nerve all those nights ago to start pushing Yamamoto away, but he still couldn’t bring himself to end it.  He didn’t know what was stopping him exactly, but seeing how the taller teen was treating himself as a criminal over that incident, it was probably because of his own guilt that Gokudera couldn’t bring himself to add more misery to the taller teen’s life. 

Gokudera had to constantly remind himself that the best way to get rid of Yamamoto was to make the other think that he was at fault for their breakup.  It’s not like he could just go up to the taller teen and tell him that they had to break up because of his own fears. Yamamoto would just argue back and never let him go that way.  No, either Yamamoto had to think it was his fault for their break up or Gokudera had to make the taller teen hate him—which was nearly impossible for the taller teen to feel, so that’s why Gokudera saw that he had no choice but make Yamamoto feel bad in order for this to work.

The storm guardian groaned in misery as he thought over his not-so-thought-out-plan and about how the guilt was eating him up from the inside out.  It reminded him of how he had gone shopping with Yamamoto a week and a half ago for the joint present they were getting the Tenth.  The whole trip had been strained and awkward, and Yamamoto had kept on sending him such doleful glances that random passersby looked upon the taller boy with pity and had glared ruthless daggers at him for obviously making the tanned athlete feel bad.  Gokudera just took the murderous looks in stride and continued to shop; he deserved them anyway. 

Eventually, they had decided they couldn’t find anything in the stores and went to Reborn instead to ask if they could get some of the special flameproof silk that Leon made.  They had agreed that making some elemental flameproof clothing for the boss would be a stylish and practical gift but, of course, they had to pay the arcobaleno for it, because it was considered a Christmas gift, and for the fact that he wanted to see the boy’s squirm at the considerable amount of cash they had to pay for just enough orange silk to make a jacket. 

After paying the ridiculous amount of money for the thread and waiting for the jacket to be sewn, the two guardians then decided to send the jacket in to get printing (Reborn had charged an enormous amount for adding writing).  After a couple of days, Gokudera was finally able to pick up the orange, formfitting jacket, now emblazoned with ’27 Rocks!’ on the back in neon white, and wrap it up. 

Even though Gokudera should have been happy about obtaining his gift for the Tenth, he just couldn’t be.  This whole thing with Yamamoto was getting to him.  He hated to constantly see that pained, self-loathing look on the other’s face, and wanted nothing more than to go up and slap the other silly for coming up with the misunderstanding in the first place.  Even though Gokudera hadn’t broken it off yet, even though Yamamoto didn’t cook him food anymore, and even though he had enough money to buy himself food, Gokudera hadn’t been in the mood to eat much of anything, because he was too disgusted with himself to form an appetite.  He hadn’t been getting much sleep either and, now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt an inkling of happiness, even when he was around the Tenth.

He hated Yamamoto for making him feel this way and he hated himself even more for causing this pain in the first place.

* * *

 

A couple streets away, a just as depressed Yamamoto was sitting at Tsuna’s work table in the smaller boy’s room, staring down at an untouched cup of tea, and a just as untouched plate of rice crackers.  He couldn’t bring himself to eat anything, not with the dilemma he was in now.  The tall, black-haired teen had been unsuccessful in finding a gift for his beloved Italian, and Christmas Eve was only two days away.  He couldn’t find anything good enough for the smaller teen.  Nothing he found could express how much he loved Gokudera and show how sorry he felt for his actions all those nights ago. 

Even though that was not the entire reason he was sitting across from Tsuna at the moment, another thing was bothering the taller teen, too.  After all, he didn’t want to bring up the incident or his and Gokudera’s waning relationship to his unknowing boss/best-friend.

“He looks like he hasn’t been eating, Tsuna,” Yamamoto continued sorrowfully with the conversation he had started awhile ago after asking the spiky-haired boy if he could come over and talk.  “I don’t know what to do.  I’ve never seen him so depressed before.”

The smaller brown-haired boy looked upon his taller friend with eyes filled with heavy concern.  “You look like you haven’t been eating much either, Yamamoto.”

Yamamoto laughed at the comparison, the sound coming out hollower then what he was expecting.  “Yeah, well, I have a lot on my mind,” he added quietly, his downcast eyes staring forlornly into the table below him, unwilling to observe Tsuna’s reaction.  What he wouldn’t give to hold Gokudera in his arms again.  He loved the little bomber so much that this rift he had caused between them was slowly destroying him, the guilt eating away at him like a parasite.

Tsuna could only look on helplessly with worry as one of his best friends suffered right in front of him, and while his other best friend suffered away in silence.  “What’s going on with you two?” The tenth Vongola don desperately asked.  “I’ve noticed that there’s been some sort of tension between you guys—more than usual anyway.  Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Yamamoto gave a sad smile at his boss’ keen eyes. He should have known better than to think that Tsuna hadn’t been observing them.  “It’s complicated,” he muttered dejectedly with a tired sigh.  “I don’t even know how to begin explaining it.”

Sensing that Yamamoto wasn’t going to talk more on the situation, Tsuna gave his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder before offering the taller teen to stay for lunch.  After much hassle were Yamamoto tried to refuse and Tsuna finally ordered him to stay and eat, the spiky-haired boy traveled down the stairs to tell his mother to set out another plate.

And, in the process, he secretly called up Gokudera.

* * *

 

It was fifteen minutes later, where Tsuna was in the process of encouraging Yamamoto to talk to him again about Gokudera that the said silver-haired teen came crashing through the smaller boy’s bedroom door in a rush, looking out of breath and frantic.

“What’s the problem, Tenth?! You sounded so worried over the—”

Surprised viridian eyes met with just as surprised hazel as Yamamoto and him stared at each other in shock; both wondering what was going on.  Thankfully, Tsuna was quick to answer their question.

“Gokudera-kun,” the small, brown-haired teen started out hesitantly, looking apprehensive about if he had done the right thing by calling Gokudera over.  “Yamamoto told me about how depressed you’ve been lately and—”

“You **_WHAT_**?!” Gokudera shouted furiously towards a still shell-shocked Yamamoto.  He hoped beyond hope that the idiot hadn’t mentioned their relationship to the Tenth; he didn’t think he could live with any more shame.  “What the **_hell_** have you been telling him?!”

Yamamoto, meanwhile, couldn’t bring himself to look at Gokudera anymore, feeling as if he had been struck in the heart by the other’s accusing words.  “I-I only told him about you looking depressed, that’s all,” the taller teen muttered out meekly with no fight in him.  He had always felt weird that Gokudera had never truly yelled at him about the incident, so it didn’t bother him that the older teen was yelling at him now.  After all, he deserved it.

The silver-haired teen could feel his blood begin to boil at how pathetic the other looked right then.  The Yamamoto he knew would keep on smiling and preserver, not sit around, give up, and mope like a fucking baby.  “That doesn’t mean you have to worry the Tenth with your own bullshit!” Gokudera spat out scathingly, marching up to the still sitting teen and violently grabbing a hold of his shirt.  “Look at me when I fucking talk to you!”

Tsuna was on the verge of panicking.  He knew this was going to be a bad idea!  Why did he have to try and help both of them by forcing them together?!  Before the small mafia don could begin to wonder if he should go into Dying Will Mode to separate the pissed off Italian from the unmoving Japanese teen, Yamamoto actually turned to look at Gokudera straight in the eyes, his own auburn orbs flashing with anguish.

“But, Gokudera…”The taller boy started with hurt lacing his tone, making him look more pathetic in Gokudera’s eyes. “I…”

Gokudera couldn’t stand this anymore.  Before he could think better of it and stop himself, the silver-haired teen’s rage spilled over as he directed his own self-anger towards the taller boy still sitting on the ground.  “Don’t even fucking **_start_** with that self-loathing bullshit I know you’re going to spout! I’ve seen and heard enough of it for fucking weeks and I don’t want to hear it anymore!”

Yamamoto could only stare up at his lover in shock as the Italian continued to yell in his face. 

“You’re so stupid!  I thought you were the observant one for fuck’s sake!  You should have noticed by now that I don’t hate you!  Fuck, this whole thing has been a complete misunderstanding!”

Jade-green eyes widened in fear as the words he didn’t want to say came spewing from his mouth with no restraint.  Gokudera let go of Yamamoto as if he had been burned and backed away, looking ready to flee at any moment if the taller boy so much as stirred.

Yamamoto stared at the retreating boy in complete confusion.  “But…you told me I should feel guilty for what I did!”  The raven-haired teen shouted back, slight anger beginning to show in his voice.  “How can you say that it was a misunderstanding?!”

Gokudera panicked.  He didn’t want to explain the misunderstanding and the reasons for causing it; not here, not in front of the Tenth.  Before the silver-haired teen could come up with an excuse for his guilty conscience, an irritating laugh resounded throughout the room as an annoying pest showed up on the scene.

Said annoying pest took one look at Gokudera and ran over to him, giving a mighty kick to the unsuspecting Italian’s shin.  “Gwhahaha! Stupid-dera is it now!” Lambo screamed childishly as he laughed like an idiot while Gokudera hopped on one foot in pain.  The smaller kid had been playing tag with I-Pin and couldn’t catch up with her, so he had decided that tagging someone else was the best way to go.

To the little cow’s misfortune, before he could run away from the now **_very_** pissed off Italian in his wake, said very pissed off Italian gave a powerful kick from behind that met with the little boy’s butt, sending the unlucky child flying face first into Tsuna’s bedroom wall at breakneck speed.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid cow?!” Gokudera yelled in indignation as he felt his now sore ankle throb in pain, not feeling the littlest bit of remorse for the child abuse he had just dished out. 

Tsuna could only cry out in fright as he watched the scene unfold before him.  This situation was getting more chaotic than what he had anticipated.

Sadly, unbeknownst to the spiky-haired mafia boss, it would only get worse.

Lambo’s only way of responding to the angry, silver-haired teen’s attack was to pick himself off the floor and start bawling his eye’s out as he  reached unconsciously into his curly hair for  a weapon he could use in retaliation.  What the nine-year-old’s hands met was the large, clunky form of the 10-Year-Bazooka.  With a flourish and tears still streaming down his face, the idiotic cow-child fired the bazooka at not himself but the person who had so ruthlessly kicked him into the wall.

Gokudera’s green eyes widened in horror as he saw the bazooka bullet fly straight at him as if in slow motion.  The other felt rooted to the spot, and couldn’t get himself to move, even though his mind was screaming at him to jump out of the way.

“Gokudera, watch out!”

The last thing the little bomber saw before the pink fog enveloped him was Yamamoto jumping from his seat on the floor and rushing over to him; the taller teen getting hit by the bullet along with his companion after he tried to push the other safely out of the way. 

The last thing Gokudera felt was the other’s strong, warm arms wrap around him protectively as they were sent through the weird psychedelic time tunnel,  and those same supportive arms being ripped away from him as they were separated through space when they entered the new timeline.

* * *

 

Tsuna coughed and hacked as the familiar pink smoke enveloped the room. Why did Lambo always have to resort to shooting people with the bazooka?!

When the smoke finally cleared and he was able to open his eyes again, Tsuna immediately turned to see if his friends were okay. 

What Tsuna saw made his big, brown, eyes widen in shock.

Standing in place of his two best friends were not their ten-year-older selves, for they looked much too small in order to fit that description.  No, standing in his friends’ places were two little toddlers, one with spiky black hair and the other with short, cropped silver hair.

They looked no older than two.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here's the fourth chapter! This chapter will be split up into three different sections for obvious reasons as you will see, but that's not how it's going to be for the following chapters. I also want to apologize for the two-year-old Yamamoto and Gokudera in this chapter. You see, in order for my plans for the following chapters to work out, Yamamoto and Gokudera's past selves had to be around the age of two...but they seriously don't act and talk like it XDD I'm sorry, that's just because of my lack of knowledge on little children in general. I really don't like little children all that much unless I'm related to them so I blame that XD Anyway, I hope you don't mind that Yama and Dera act older in their toddler forms then they would normally, and that you'll enjoy the chapter for what it is. Also, as I side-note, for people who speak Italian in this chapter, I usually just put their words in italics and quotation marks because I don't trust online translators too much. I did use an online translator for one word...but I seriously doubt it's correct XD If it's not and somebody knows the correct Italian word then don't hesitate to inform me! 
> 
> With that said, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Tsuna could only stare in shock at the two little children blinking up at him in wide eyed confusion, completely unsure of what to think, let alone on what to do.  Everything had happened so fast that it was just too hard to take in.  How, no, **_why_** were there two little children in his room in place of his friends instead of two full-grown men?

Seeing that Tsuna was too busy staring at them and not doing much of anything else, the little versions of Yamamoto and Gokudera decided to inspected their newfound surroundings, their tiny bodies tense and unsure as they took in the unfamiliar room around them.  Pale green eyes soon met uncertain light-brown as they finished their scanning of the room, looking upon the unfamiliar stranger standing next to them. The two toddlers gazed upon each other with confusion still set in their features but visibly relaxed once they subconsciously realized they were around the same height and age.

As Tsuna watched his two best friends’ toddler forms shuffle slightly away from each other out of shyness, the future mafia don felt at a lost on where to start, the short teen’s brain still trying to grasp the situation at hand.  Before the brown-haired boy could think of what to do, he heard the sound of a rather obnoxiously loud child call out to him.

“Hey, Tsuna!  Where did these little kids come from?!” Lambo questioned in stupefaction, his loud voice breaking the unnatural silence in the room like an explosive going off in a library.

Tsuna and the little Gokudera and Yamamoto practically jumped at the sound of the others booming voice; Tsuna having forgotten that Lambo was still in the room.  The small teen couldn’t help but notice his own question was along the same line as Lambo’s as he witnessed the short, cow-dressed kid make his way up to the little two-year-olds, both of the toddlers appearing unsettled by the older child’s closeness.

Lambo stopped in front of Little Gokudera, his bright green eyes squinting as he looked down upon the silver-haired toddler in scrutiny.  “Hmm…” The cow-child stated slowly as if he was deep in thought.  “You look a lot like—Stupid-dera!”  And with that exclamation, Lambo roughly pushed Little Gokudera’s shoulder, the little silver-haired Italian falling down to the floor in surprise at the action.

“Lambo!” Tsuna shouted in bewilderment as he witnessed the rude handiwork of the Bovino child, the little version of Yamamoto backing away from the scene in fright as Lambo laughed triumphantly at his deed.  “What—” But the brown-haired teen couldn’t even finish his sentence before he was interrupted by the shouting of an enraged toddler.

Tsuna stared in shock as he then witnessed Little Gokudera stand back up with noticeable tears in his eyes that were yet to be shed.  The little boy shouted at Lambo in a different language, his child-like voice full of indignation as he yelled at the taller boy for pushing him over. 

The spikey-haired mafia don could only blink in confusion as he heard the broken, chibified version of what sounded like Italian fly from the silver-haired child’s mouth.  Little Gokudera’s words seemed to land upon deaf ears, though, because Lambo acted completely indifferent to whatever the toddler spouted, the older child sneering down at the shorter boy before him like he had the advantage. 

“I’m older, so I can do whatever I want!” Lambo yelled back triumphantly in response to the little Italian’s words, sticking his tongue out for good measure at the seething little boy in front of him.

Tsuna was so baffled at what was transpiring before him that he didn’t even notice when three new figures entered his room.

“Lambo, that’s enough!” I-Pin shouted in still slightly broken Japanese as she ran up to the curly-haired boy and pulled him away from the offended silver-haired child.

“I didn’t do anything!” Lambo exclaimed hurriedly, witnessing his childhood friend’s eyes narrow dangerously as she dragged him a good distance away from the toddlers.  “I was just playing tag!”

I-Pin knew that it was an obvious lie and she wasn’t going to let her friend get away with it.  As the little girl continued to argue with Lambo on the other side of Tsuna’s room, it was the smaller teen’s turn to finally realize the other company that had arrived.  Standing in the doorway to the spikey-haired teen’s bedroom were Reborn and Giannini. The little arcobaleno raised an eyebrow in question upon seeing the child forms of Gokudera and Yamamoto, while the small, rotund man beside him floated around in his usual spacecraft, his eye’s round with surprise but soon turning into fear as he beheld the same sight.

“Oh my goodness!  What happened, Boss?!” Giannini bellowed in worry, his flying craft swerving up and down in agitation as he laid eyes upon the just as startled child-like versions of the storm and rain guardian.

The little version of Gokudera stared up at the flying man in shock, his jade-green eyes widening in realization at the figure levitating before him.  “Alieno!” He exclaimed as he pointed at Giannini accusingly with Little Yamamoto hiding behind him, the Japanese boy’s eyes wide in child-like wonder.

“Wha—I’m not an alien!” Giannini replied back in Japanese out of habit, shaking his air craft back in forth in his anger.

Tsuna eyed the agitated man and his hazardous aircraft warily, worried that the machine would somehow find its way onto his back at any given moment.  “I don’t know what happened, Giannini!” Tsuna started out in exasperation as he finally replied to Giannini’s question.  “Lambo came in and fired the bazooka at Gokudera-kun, and Yamamoto tried to push him out of the way.  After the smoke cleared, these kids were standing in their place!”

The rim of Reborn’s fedora lowered across the arcobaleno’s eyes as he took in Tsuna’s explanation, his baby-like voice becoming dangerous.  “It seems your modifications could use more work, Giannini.”   

Giannini squeaked in fright as he flew away from Reborn and retrieved the Ten Year-Bazooka from its discarded place on the floor, completely forgetting about Little Gokudera’s previous insult.  “I’m sorry, Reborn-san!  I’ll return it to the way it was immediately!”  And with that, the frightened, obese, Italian man flew from the scene with the bazooka in tow.

“Take as much time as you need, Giannini,” Reborn warned at the retreating man’s form, the frown upon his face growing in seriousness as he returned his gaze to the two toddlers standing a distance away from him.

As the sun arcobaleno gazed upon the two children, seemingly deep in thought, Tsuna came to a quick and horrifying realization.  “Reborn!  It’s been longer than five minutes!” The spikey-haired boy cried out as he grabbed worriedly at his hair at the revelation.

“Well, that’s to be expected,” the fedora wearing baby responded knowingly.  “Giannini obviously changed the component of the 10-Year-Bazooka to the point that ten years no longer apply. It shouldn’t be all that surprising that the time restraint changed as well.”

As Tsuna took in his mentor’s words, he slowly let go of his hair, his eyes shining with understanding.  “Do you have any idea how long Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto will be gone?”

“No clue.”

Tsuna sighed at Reborn’s short reply; he figured as much.  Already having a feeling as to where this was going, Tsuna decided to ask anyway.  “So, what do we do now?”

Reborn smiled smugly at the obviously answered question, his big, black eyes sparkling mischievously.  “Now, you babysit.”

The Tenth of the Vongola Family groaned out miserably at his mentor’s answer, horrendous scenarios flashing through his mind at the thought of watching after a little Gokudera and Yamamoto.  He could barely watch over Lambo and I-Pin before things would turn bad and they were nine-years-old now!

Once again, before Tsuna could think more on his terrified thoughts, the sound of yelling brought him back to reality.  He quickly gazed down to where the yells originated to see Little Gokudera backing away from the little version of Yamamoto.  The Japanese boy had his hand outstretched towards the other in a hand shaking gesture, his hazel eyes shaking in confusion as the silver-haired, two-year-old yelled at him in his native tongue.  It was obvious that Little Yamamoto had been trying to do the polite thing by introducing himself but, since it seemed like Little Gokudera had yet to learn Japanese, the silver-haired boy didn’t understand him.  Because of that language barrier, the little Italian child looked troubled as he scanned his surroundings frantically, yelling out questions in the only language he knew to anyone who could understand him and give him an answer to what was going on.

Seeing at how frightened his little right-hand man was, Tsuna was quick to figure out a solution to the problem at hand.  If they could all understand each other then maybe this babysitting job wouldn’t be so bad.  “Hey, Reborn?” Tsuna questioned with enthusiasm as he mentally congratulated himself for the bright idea he just came up with.  “Do you think you could translate for Gokudera-kun?”

The little arcobaleno glanced up towards his pupil as he mulled the idea over in his head, a smug smile growing upon his face as he came to an answer.  “Sorry, Tsuna, a good mafia boss should learn to be resourceful and use the people in his Famiglia.  This should test your persuasion skills and the abilities of your comrades.”  

Tsuna could only flap his mouth uselessly like a fish out of water at his mentor’s words.  “Why do you think I asked you then?!” The spikey-haired boy shouted out in annoyance once he found his voice again.  Why did Reborn have to make everything harder than what it had to be?

Reborn could only smile as he jumped onto Tsuna’s bed and took a seat, making himself comfortable as his current pupil stewed in anger beside him.  “Don’t mind me,” the little baby said as he completely ignored Tsuna’s question.  “I’ll just watch your progress.”

Tsuna shouted out in frustration as he saw his mentor’s famous smile spread pompously across his face.  Who could he turn to now in order to translate for him?  Who in his family knew Italian?  The young mafia boss’ mind immediately thought of Gokudera but, since he was currently off in another timeline, he obviously wouldn’t be of any help.  Tsuna’s thoughts then went to Giannini but he quickly remembered that the stout inventor was busy at the moment fixing the Ten Year-Bazooka.  Who did that leave him with?

“Hey, Tsuna!” Lambo shouted excitedly as he ran over to the spikey-haired boy from across the room, leaving a slightly concerned I-Pin in his wake.  “Pick me, pick me!  Lambo-san can translate!”

Tsuna’s eyes widened as realization dawned on him.  Lambo had arrived in Japan when he was only five-years-old after living all of his life in Italy.  He had known both languages from such a young age, and he was also closer in age to the two toddlers standing in the middle of his room.  Lambo would be perfect!

“Thank you, Lambo!” Tsuna exclaimed in gratitude, happy that he was one step closer to settling this chaotic fiasco.  “I forgot that you know both languages.  It must have taken a lot of skill in order to learn two different languages at such a young age. I could have never done that!”

Lambo rubbed under his nose in a pompous fashion, basking in the little bit of praise he was unaccustomed to receiving.  “That’s because Lambo-san is **_super_** smart!”

 “Um…yeah…” Tsuna mumbled indistinctly, knowing for a fact that that usually wasn’t the case when it concerned his little cow friend. 

As Lambo walked away and started approaching the two toddlers from the past— who were still standing in the middle of the room with Yamamoto trying to converse with a terrified and confused Gokudera—Tsuna began to worry about if his decision had been the right one.  After all, Lambo had been pushing Little Gokudera around just moments prior…

The brown-haired teen shook his head vigorously to clear his thoughts.  He should believe in Lambo.  From what he had seen, I-Pin had given Lambo a stern talking to over the situation, so Lambo was more than likely trying to redeem himself.  Yeah!  That had to be it!  Lambo was also older and had a better understanding of right and wrong now, so this wouldn’t turn out bad at all, right?

…Well, maybe being close by wouldn’t hurt.

Feeling bad that he didn’t trust Lambo enough for the kid to act on his own and that his Hyper Intuition was screaming at him to intervene, Tsuna followed Lambo as they approached his toddler-formed best friends.

As they came near, Tsuna was quick to notice the sad look on Little Yamamoto’s face as Little Gokudera shouted something at the small boy in Italian again and backed further away from him to the opposite side of the room, his jade-green eyes wide with fright and uncertainty.

Frowning at what he saw, Tsuna knelt down next to the raven-haired toddler and gave him a look of concern.  “Is everything alright Yama—err…” Tsuna started but broke off abruptly, not sure on what to call this version of his usually tall and happy friend.  “Yamamoto…kun?” He finished lamely.

The bright-eyed little boy looked up at him with a perplexed expression, his brows knitted in confusion.  “How do you know my famiwy name?”  The little two-year-old garbled out as he looked upon the spikey-haired boy in front of him with big innocent eyes.

Tsuna felt, in that moment, an unexplainable urge to hug the little boy in front of him but resisted.  Now was not the time to get caught up in how adorable the toddler version of his best friend was. 

A little freaked out by his last thought, Tsuna just shook his head and tried to come up with a way to explain to the curious little boy about how he knew his name.  Thinking that lying somewhat was far more easier than trying to explain what was really going on, Tsuna came up with his reason.  “Um…I visit your father’s sushi shop all the time and he’s told me about you?”

Not picking up on how Tsuna utterly failed in making a persuasive sounding argument by making it sound like a question, Little Yamamoto just smiled and beamed up at the spikey-haired boy, who looked like he was internally chastising himself over his previous failure.  “Oh, you know my owd man?  Dat means you’re my fwiend, too!”

Tsuna smiled in relief that Yamamoto was just as believing of others as ever as the little black-haired boy bestowed him with one of his famous goofy smiles.  “Yeah, we’re friends.  My name is Tsuna and this…” The brown-haired mafia boss explained as he grabbed hold of Lambo’s shoulders and steered him into Little Yamamoto’s line of sight.  “…is Lambo.  We’re going to help you talk to Gokudera-kun.”

At first, Little Yamamoto seemed wary at the sight of Lambo (the curly-haired kid’s arrogant sneer not helping in lessening the little boy’s worries in the slightest) but, once he gazed back into Tsuna’s big, brown eyes and saw how honest and sincere the shorter teen was being, the toddler’s regular smile came back onto his face but, this time, with a look of bafflement.  “Gokudewa-kun?  Who’s dat?”

Tsuna was taken aback by this at first but quickly rebounded once he reminded himself that these two didn’t have any memories concerning this time and place.  “Gokudera-kun is the silver-haired boy right over there,” Tsuna mentioned while pointing at the said boy across the room, the fiery Italian glaring back at them once he realized that they were talking about him.  “He doesn’t know Japanese, so Lambo and I are going to help translate your words so that you two can understand each other.”

Little Yamamoto’s eyes lit up with unrestrained glee at the brown-haired teen’s offer.  “Wow, you can do dat?!  I don’t know why I’m hewe but I’m gwad I met you mistew.  Now I can pway with dat funny kid!”

Tsuna couldn’t help but sigh at that.  It was just like Yamamoto to want to play and hang out with people despite how uninterested they seemed at the prospect.  Now, as for the other thing that the boy said, Tsuna thought it would be best that he gave another explanation so that there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings down the road.  “Um, that’s really great that you want to make friends, Yamamoto-kun!  As for why you’re here, um, your dad wanted me to watch over you because he…uh…was busy.”

The little raven-haired boy’s eyes lit up with understanding at Tsuna’s words.  “Oh yeah!  Pops seemed pwetty busy today wid his fwiends!  But how did I get hewe so fast?”

“Um…?” Tsuna started, a nervous sweat beginning to run down his forehead as his mind rushed to come up with another explanation.  To the future mafia don’s surprise, Lambo beat him to the chase.

“There’s this cool toy that can bring you to different places with just a press of a button!” Lambo gushed with excitement at the little white lie he was telling, waving his arms around for emphasis and acting out his words to the mesmerized little child in front of him.

Despite the poor explanation, Little Yamamoto seemed to buy it because his big, hazel eyes nearly bugged out of his head.  “Wow!  It’s just wike on de TV.!”  The little boy then shifted his gaze back to Tsuna with giddy excitement.  “Can I twy dat toy out, mistew?”

Tsuna felt himself begin to panic but he calmed himself down with a deep breath.  “…Um, sorry, but it takes a lot of…uh, batteries…so you can’t play with it now.”

Little Yamamoto looked crestfallen at the news but Tsuna quickly added.  “B-But you can play with it later!”

The raven-haired toddler’s eyes widened back in excitement at the news.  “Yay!” Little Yamamoto exclaimed as he jumped up and down happily.  “Dank you, mistew!”

The spikey-haired teen couldn’t help but flinch at what the little boy was calling him.  It was weird to think of Yamamoto calling him anything other than Tsuna.  “Um…You can just call me Tsuna, Yamamoto-kun.”

Little Yamamoto looked like he was having some difficulty in pronouncing the syllable ‘tsu’, because what eventually came out of the toddler’s mouth was, “Tuna?”

“…close enough.”

Lambo burst into condescending laughter at how Yamamoto was pronouncing Tsuna’s name.  “What an idiot!  He can’t even pronounce a name right!”

As he saw his little black-haired friend’s hazel eyes flash with hurt at the insult, Tsuna was more than ready to chew Lambo out for his rudeness but someone beat him to the chase again.  In a short few seconds, I-Pin made her way over and slapped Lambo upside the head, effectively shutting the stupid cow up.

“Lambo!  Apologize!”

A pitiful sniffle was all that was heard from the nine-year-old as he rubbed his now sore head in shame.  “Sorry…” the curly-haired kid barely mumbled out in a grumpy fashion, keeping his eyes averted from Little Yamamoto and the rest of the people in the room.

Resisting the urge to grumble about how Lambo didn’t sound sorry at all, Tsuna decided to finish what he wanted to do so that they could all start getting along.  Who knew how long the little toddlers where actually going to stay there. 

“Thank you for apologizing, Lambo,” Tsuna began with as much courtesy he could muster in his voice for the problematic cow.  “Now can you help us translate for Yamamoto-kun?”

With a sulky nod of confirmation, Lambo started making his way over to a still agitated Gokudera; Tsuna, I-Pin and Little Yamamoto following close behind. 

As they got closer to the feisty little Italian, the silver-haired boy looked around quickly for some sort of escape route as he backed himself into Tsuna’s bedroom wall out of fear, unsure of where to go and frightened beyond belief. 

Seeing how scared the other was, Tsuna made the kids stop just a few feet away from the agitated toddler in order to give him some breathing room.  He could just too easily imagine Gokudera becoming violent if he was backed into a corner.  Taking a deep breathe to calm down his nerves, Tsuna gently pushed Little Yamamoto forward so that he was in front of their little group.  The Japanese toddler turned to look behind at Tsuna in uncertainty, his cheeks blushing with a sudden shyness. 

Tsuna bestowed his toddler-formed friend with a reassuring smile and said, “Don’t worry, Yamamoto-kun, just face Gokudera-kun and talk, and Lambo with translate for you.”

Seeming to understand what he was supposed to do, Lambo made is way forward and stood by Yamamoto, giving the raven-haired boy a cocky, yet confident, smile to try and reassure him as well.  Taking strength from his new found friends, Little Yamamoto faced a distrustful looking Gokudera and spoke his mind.

“I’m sowwy if I scawed you,” the little Japanese boy started out, his tiny voice growing with confidence with every word that left his mouth.  “I onwy wanted to pway wid you.  My name is Yamamoto Takeshi and I want to be yo’ fwiend, Dewa-chan!”

Tsuna had to hold back a groan and a slap to his forehead at Yamamoto’s new nickname for Gokudera.  If he knew his friends like he thought he did, he knew that Gokudera wouldn’t take too kindly to the cutesy nickname.

Breaking the spikey-haired teen out of his thoughts, Lambo gave Yamamoto a look to make sure the little boy was done speaking before he boastfully announced, “That’s it?  I can translate that no problem!”  And with that, the curly-haired boy walked right up to Gokudera and started speaking in his native tongue. Gokudera’s body instinctively stiffened in a defensive position as the taller boy approached, looking ready to pounce if Lambo so much as twitched his hand.  He didn’t want a repeat of the pushing incident.

Lambo, of course, seemed completely oblivious to the impending danger he was putting himself into and translated what Little Yamamoto wanted to say; ** _his_** way.  “ _That little spikey-haired kid wanted to say that he thinks you’re stupid, you smell and sound funny, and that your hair makes you look like a little, grouchy, old man_!”

The little version of Gokudera could only blink up at the cow-styled kid before him in astonishment as Lambo crossed his arms confidently at what he thought was a job well done.    As the hurtful, childish words sunk in, the little Italian toddler gave a hesitant look towards Little Yamamoto, unsure if he should believe what the older kid had said to him.  As jade-green eyes met friendly hazel, Little Yamamoto directed his trademark grin towards Little Gokudera, trying to reassure his unknowingly mistranslated words to the other with his smile.

Sadly, Gokudera didn’t take it too well.  The other’s friendly smile only served to heighten the sting of the hurtful words he had heard, confusing the little Italian more and making him feel like he was being bullied.  Hating that he was in a place that he didn’t know with people he didn’t know, and that he was being verbally abused besides, Little Gokudera’s eyes filled with angry, unshed tears.  Feeling his blood begin to boil, the little Italian decided to stand up for himself and marched his way up to an unsuspecting Yamamoto, punching the innocent Japanese boy square in the jaw before shouting at everyone to leave him alone as he rushed out of the room, everyone too surprised with his actions to stop him or follow.

Tsuna berated himself over the situation as he rushed over to help Little Yamamoto back onto his feet, the Japanese toddler sniffling sadly as he rubbed his sore cheek.  The brown-haired teen had to give the little one props for not breaking down into childish tears after such a traumatizing thing had happened to him; that just went to show at how tough and mature Yamamoto was in comparison to Lambo, who was currently almost a decade older than the little toddler.  Speaking of Lambo…

“Lambo!  What on earth did you say to Gokudera-kun to make him act like that?!” Tsuna yelled in frustration towards a now cowering little cow.  The curly-haired boy wasn’t used to seeing Tsuna so angry with him.

“I-I-I didn’t do anything wrong!” Lambo defended himself pitifully as his green eyes watered up with tears.

This time, I-Pin jumped on her friend’s case.  “Don’t lie, Lambo!  What did you say?!”

“G-Gotta…stay…calm…” was Lambo’s only reply as he began to blubber pathetically at everyone’s anger-filled glares.  Tsuna just sighed in exasperation, knowing too well that he wasn’t going to get any information out of a cowering Lambo.  Thankfully, Reborn seemed to take pity on his case, because the little arcobaleno stood up from his seated position on Tsuna’s bed and jumped down.

“This good-for-nothing cow decided to mistranslate Yamamoto’s words,” Reborn kindly explained with a note of irritation in his voice as he made his way up to Tsuna and the others.  “He ended up insulting Gokudera instead, and placed the blame upon Yamamoto as you have probably figured out by now.”

Tsuna peered down at the little boy that he now held in his arms as the raven-haired child continued to sniffle and rub at his watering eyes.  Like Reborn had just stated, he had felt like Lamb had lied about what Yamamoto had said. Why else would Gokudera react the way he did? The brown-haired teen glared heatedly down at Lambo, who looked like he was on the verge of crying.  He wanted to, more than anything, make Lambo apologize for what he did, but knew that the troublemaking kid was too caught up in his own distress to find fault in his actions or to even verbalize anything in his current state.  Instead, Tsuna just gave an aggravated sigh and turned his gaze towards an equally angered I-Pin.

“I-Pin?” Tsuna questioned, his anger-filled voice turning lighter as he looked down at the Chinese girl.  The said girl peered up at him with questioning eyes.  “Do you think you can take Lambo to my mom?  I will talk to him about this later.”

The braided-haired girl gave a solemn nod towards her friend/boss and quickly grasped one of Lambo’s cow-printed arms and led him off, the cowering boy still sniffling in her wake as they left the room.

Tsuna gave an exhausted sigh once the silence of the nearly empty room enveloped him, his short reprieve disturbed once he felt a weight added to the shoulder that was opposite of where he held Yamamoto. Turning his head to his left, Tsuna was able to see that Reborn had perched himself onto his shoulder and was giving him an expectant look.

“I suggest that we find Gokudera before he gets himself into more trouble,” the little baby stated knowingly with a frown upon his face.

Tsuna just nodded tiredly in response, he knew that Gokudera was in a very unstable emotional state at the moment and, adding to the fact that he wasn’t old enough to know any better, he could easily get himself into trouble.

As he made his way out into the hallway with Little Yamamoto and Reborn in tow, Tsuna almost ran into Bianchi, who had just come up the stairs.  The magenta-haired woman looked perplexed about something, because her brows were creased with worry. That look only intensified once she noticed the toddler form of Yamamoto in Tsuna’s arms.

“What’s going on here?” Bianchi questioned with a hint of anger in her voice, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she looked back and forth between Tsuna and the baby form of Yamamoto in his arms.  “I could have sworn I just saw a younger version of my brother run past me on the stairs.”

Tsuna began to sweat nervously as Bianchi’s venomous glare barreled down on him, daring him to admit that he had done something to her precious little brother so that she could have a viable reason to poison him.  Thankfully, Reborn knew how to calm an enraged Bianchi down. 

“Lambo decided to use his newly modified Ten Year-Bazooka on Gokudera and Yamamoto.  The bazooka malfunctioned and sent your brother back in time rather than forward,” Reborn stated simply as he smiled up innocently at a still angered Bianchi.

With one look at Reborn, Bianchi’s anger quickly dissipated to be replaced by unrestrained love.  “Oh, Reborn!” The magenta-haired woman exclaimed as she swept the little baby up from a still nervous Tsuna’s shoulder.  “I’m so glad that the bazooka didn’t hit you this time!”

Tsuna tried to cover up the ‘you-got-to-be-kidding-me’ facial expression he knew that he was showing with another heavy sigh, glad that Bianchi seemed to be appeased for the moment.  Why did Gokudera and his sister have to be so hot blooded?  At that last thought, the spikey-haired teen’s eyes widened as he came to a sudden realization.  Bianchi was Gokudera’s sister, so that meant she was Italian as well! 

Resisting the urge to slap himself in the forehead for forgetting about this obvious fact, Tsuna was quick to ask for the Italian woman’s help.  “Gokudera-kun doesn’t seem to understand us, Bianchi.  Do you think you can help translate for us?”

The magenta-haired woman paused in her cuddling of Reborn to give Tsuna a calculating look, her lip pursing up in thought.  “Hmm…my brother looked like he was only around two or three-years-old, so he obviously wouldn’t know Japanese at this point in his life,” Bianchi started out slowly as she took in the form of Yamamoto to reaffirm her suspicions, despite the raven-haired boy looking slightly younger.  She gave a disapproving grunt but gazed back up at Tsuna, looking torn at what she was about to say next.  “If it’s for my brother’s sake, I guess I can help you out.  Just don’t get any ideas that I would help you otherwise.”

Tsuna had to stop himself from replying back, knowing full well that if he irritated Bianchi too much that she would either attack him or leave without helping him, even if that meant not helping her scared little brother.  He kind of expected her to act this way anyway, so it truly didn’t faze him too much.

Readjusting his grip on the little Yamamoto in his arms—who seemed to be intimidated by Bianchi and was trying his best not to make direct eye contact; his tiny hands clutching at Tsuna’s shirt in slight fear—Tsuna made his way down the stairs with Bianchi following close behind with Reborn still in her arms.  It was soon that their group came upon the living room where they could hear the sound of uproarious laughter coming from inside.  Curious as to what was going on, Tsuna and Bianchi entered the living room to see Tsuna’s dad sitting by the small dining table in the room, his cheeks rosy from the bottle of sake he still clutched in his hand, while the other hand held onto the back of Little Gokudera’s suit jacket, the said toddler kicking and screaming to get free while the older man laughed at his antics. 

Not sure on what to be more surprised about—that his drunken father was holding onto a squirming toddler while he laughed at him or that Gokudera had been wearing a fancy looking children’s suit the whole time, complete with jacket, bow tie, shorts and long socks—Tsuna could only gape at the imagery before him, his mind almost shutting down at the overload of information.

Iemitsu continued to laugh outrageously at Little Gokudera’s antics as the feisty Italian tried to struggle free from the older man’s iron grip, spitting out his demands to be let go in his native tongue that obviously continued to be ignored.  It was here that Iemitsu finally decided to voice his opinions.  “My, my, you sure are a rowdy little guy!   How about a nice drink to calm you down and warm you up?”

As Iemitsu attempted to pour a cup of sake for the toddler struggling in his grip, Tsuna finally came out of his little stupor at the mention of said alcohol and at remembering that Gokudera had come from a rich family, so it was only normal for his younger version to be wearing a suit.

“Dad, what are you doing?!  Stop!  Gokudera-kun is underage!” Tsuna exclaimed in worry as he rushed over and grabbed his father’s arm before it could pour his alcoholic beverage.  The said blonde-haired man glanced up towards his son with a pout.

“But it warms you up, Tsuna~” Iemitsu whined in a drunken manner, the rosiness of his cheeks still present on his face.

“So does tea, Dad!” Tsuna responded in aggravation.  Seriously, how was he related to this man?!

It was a few moments after this, where Iemitsu looked back and forth between the bottle of sake in one of his hands and the disgruntled Italian toddler in his other, that the older man decided that his son was right and did the morally responsible thing by setting Gokudera back down.  Once the silver-haired toddler felt that he was free once again, he made a mad dash for the door to get away from all of the crazy mean people in the house.  Sadly, before he could make it to the doorway, he was met by the face of his sister who looked **_way_** older than what he remembered.

“Calm down Hayato, no one is here to hurt you,” Bianchi calmly reassured her frightened little half-brother, the words accidentally rolling off her tongue in Japanese out of force of habit.

Even if Bianchi had been talking in Italian, she had an idea on how her brother would have reacted, and, as the little boy screamed bloody murder and quickly maneuvered his way around her and out the living room entryway, her guess was right.  Well, at least she had tried.

Tsuna could feel a headache coming on as he watched Little Gokudera disappear again in all his screaming glory, a deadpan expression marring his teenage features.  He was a little surprised that Gokudera hadn’t fainted like he usually did but he should have realized that the little boy would have acted negatively towards his sister anyway.  Now he just felt like a complete idiot.

Bianchi sighed in dissatisfaction as she mumbled to herself and the arcobaleno she held in her arms, “I should have called him by his Italian name; he doesn’t know his Japanese one yet…”  She quickly glanced in Tsuna’s direction to note that the boy hadn’t overheard her since he was too busy trying to keep Little Yamamoto away from his drunken father and his sake bottle, the Japanese toddler laughing in joy now since he thought they were playing a game of keep away.  “Sawada Tsunayoshi!” She yelled in slight annoyance at the commotion the three were causing; a plan slowly forming in her mind.

The ridiculous actions between Tsuna and his father stopped at the Italian woman’s command, Little Yamamoto continuing to laugh even after their motions ceased.  Bianchi gave another sigh of aggravation as she continued to divulge her plan that would hopefully help her brother.  “Hayato does not take kindly to major change and is easily emotionally scarred if it happens.  This situation is more than likely turning out that way, especially since he’s in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people.  Add to the fact that my brother isn’t naturally a people person to begin with and this is a recipe for complete disaster.  I’m going to bring Maman and the children out for some shopping so that you can have the house to yourselves in order to calm him down.”

As the magenta-haired woman’s plan reached his ears, Tsuna couldn’t help but agree with it as he thought it was also a good idea.  The brown-haired teen gave Bianchi a grateful smile in return.  “Thank you, Bianchi!”

The older woman just ‘humphed’ in response and replied.  “You better calm Hayato down or you’ll find poison in your next meal.”

Tsuna gulped at the dangerous threat as he knew full well that Bianchi intended to keep her word.  Knowing that her threat was being taken seriously, Bianchi made her way out of the living room to round up her group, ignoring the half-hearted call of Tsuna, who asked her if she was taking his father along as well.  Obviously she wasn’t, because the man was drunk and had already fallen asleep on the floor during their conversation.  Tsuna needed to make his observation skills better.

Once Tsuna was left in the living room with Little Yamamoto and the snores of his now-dead-asleep father as his only company, the brown-haired boy began to panic, wondering on how he was going to help Gokudera now.

With the sound of the front door closing, Tsuna was quick to realize that he was now by himself, and the only one who could deal with this situation.  That didn’t make the future mafia boss feel better in the slightest.  He felt so lost on what to do that he didn’t even know where to begin! Oh, why was this happening to him?!

“Well, are you going to try and find another person to translate, No-Good-Tsuna?”

Tsuna practically jumped out of his skin as the nasally baby voice reached his ears.  He quickly turned around to notice that Reborn had reappeared in the living room.  Confused by this, Tsuna asked, “Reborn?  I thought you left with the others?”

“I asked Bianchi to leave me here because I had to observe you,” The fedora-wearing baby responded in an all knowing voice, the smile on his face quickly transforming into a frown as he continued.  “You still need to find a translator, Tsuna.”

Tsuna’s chocolate-brown eyes shook in realization at his mentor’s words, remembering what he still had to do.  He still couldn’t help but feel unsure, though.  Just who could he ask for help now?

Seeing his uncertainty, Little Yamamoto decided to give the small teen a reassuring child-like pat on the shoulder he was currently resting against, bestowing his regular smile onto the teen as he turned to look at him.  “Don’t wowwy.   You can do it Tuna-san!”

Tsuna smiled gratefully at his little friend’s words, finding the way the little boy said his name too cute to correct.  With a little more confidence, the brown-haired teen gave the Japanese toddler he was holding a nod of his head to show that he understood as his brain went into overdrive in trying to figure out who he could use as a translator.  His dad was obviously out of the question now, and wouldn’t have worked anyway, since he had been drunk, so who could he ask for help?  Mukuro was the next person who came to mind but that was an obvious no.  There was no way that he was going to be in a house with Mukuro— ** _alone_**!  Also, if he remembered correctly, Chrome seemed to know a little Italian but if he asked her for help then Mukuro would probably show up at some point, so he definitely couldn’t ask her either!  The rest of the Kokuyo gang was also out of the question, too, since they didn’t seem to like him much, and wouldn’t be of much help.  Basil could help but he was currently in Italy, and had been for the past two weeks in order to do some CEDEF work and Christmas shopping, and Spanner was in the next town over, so it would be a hassle to make him come down here.

That meant he was only left with…

“Dino!” Tsuna exclaimed in realization, a smile finding its way onto his face at the thought of the blond-haired don.  Dino would help him no matter the situation, because he was a former disciple of Reborn and his older brother figure.  Why hadn’t he thought of him before?!

Reborn just smiled as his student finally realized the best person to call.  He had known Dino would have been the best pick all along.  “Good job, now make that call before Gokudera ends up doing something we might all regret.”

Tsuna squeaked in fright at the reminder and placed Yamamoto down onto the ground, retrieving his cellphone from his pants pocket in the process.  Finding Dino’s name in his contacts, Tsuna pressed the call button and placed his phone up to his ear, waiting for Dino to pick up.  The brown-haired teen began to worry as the phone continued to ring without any answer, and was beginning to wonder if he was going to have to do this by himself but, thankfully, the sound of someone answering the phone reached his ears.

“Tsuna?” Came the reply on the other side of the line, Dino’s voice sounding tired and a little wary.  “Is something wrong?”

“Dino!” Tsuna sighed in relief, glad that his friend had picked up the phone; his relaxation short lived as the other’s question brought the brown-haired teen’s worries to the forefront of his mind.  “It’s horrible, Dino-san!  Giannini modified the Ten Year-Bazooka and Lambo fired it, and now Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto have been sent to the past for an indefinite period of time! So that means I’m stuck babysitting their—” Tsuna paused on his massive rant as he came to another realization.  He quickly glanced down towards Yamamoto to notice that the boy was looking up at him in slight amusement from watching him speak so fast.  “How old are you anyway, Yamamoto-kun?”

Little Yamamoto beamed up at Tsuna at the question, only too eager to answer as he jumped up from his seat on the floor.  “I’m almost two!” The little toddler exclaimed like it was the best thing in the world as he held up one of his pointer fingers to show his age.

Tsuna smiled at how adorable the other was acting as he returned to his one-sided conversation with Dino, but this time, in a calmer tone.  “Yeah, so I’m basically stuck with two-year-old versions of Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto, and Gokudera-kun doesn’t understand Japanese.  Do you think you can come over and help me translate?”

There was an eerie silence on the other end of the phone as Dino took in all the information Tsuna had divulged.  As the silence continued, Tsuna wondered if his call had dropped, and was about to ask Dino if he was still on the phone with him but, before he could, Dino finally answered.  “Wow…um…” The Bucking Horse began, his voice coming out in irregular pants as he processed the information that his ‘little brother’ had given him, guilt soon lacing his tone.  “I-I would love to help you, Tsuna, but…well...I’m sort of busy.  Ah!”

Tsuna flinched at Dino’s random exclamation, his ears slightly ringing from the loud sound.  Not sure on what had just happened, Tsuna cautiously asked.  “Dino-san, what are you doing?”

At the note of honest curiosity in the spikey-haired teen’s voice, Dino could only stutter in panic on the other end of the phone.  “N-Nothing!”

“But you have to be doing something if you can’t—” Tsuna abruptly stopped once he heard a weird noise on the other side of the line that sounded slightly distant, meaning it hadn’t come from Dino.  “W-Was that a growl?!” Tsuna exclaimed in fright, worried about what his blond-haired friend was getting into.

Dino could only continue to laugh nervously as Tsuna overheard something he shouldn’t have.  “Haha, you’re starting to hear things, Tsuna…”

Tsuna just shook his head at Dino’s lame attempt at passing the noise off.  He was certain that he had heard something.  “No, seriously, Dino-san, what was that sound?  I swear I heard it!”

“…Um…a bird?”

There was an awkward silence as Tsuna processed this bogus information, knowing full well that birds didn’t growl (to his knowledge anyway).  “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a bird, Dino-san.”  Hearing another ominous growl and a painful grunt from his friend on the other end of the line, Tsuna couldn’t help but ask.  “Are you in a dangerous situation right now, Dino-san?!”

Dino panted heavily in response before he got the strength to continue.  “W-Well, I—Ow!  Yeah…kind of…”

Tsuna became even more worried at his ‘big brother’s’ answer but persisted in trying to ask Dino for help anyway, since he was the only option he had left in helping his friends.  “If it’s so dangerous then you should get out of there!  You’re the only one who can help me, Dino-san!  Everyone else who can speak Italian is unavailable and Gokudera-kun is really scared!”

Dino made a noise like he was torn between two decisions.  He was unsure of what to do until an idea popped into his head.  “O-Okay, I’ll help but…just give me twenty—Ow! Okay, thirty minutes! Just thirty minutes and I’ll be over there!”

Still unsure of just leaving Dino to whatever was on the other side of the phone with him but glad that he at least got the young man’s word that he would help him, Tsuna conceded.  “Okay, I will see you in half an hour then…”

“Thanks, Tsuna!” And with that, Dino quickly hung up to continue doing whatever it was he was doing.

Tsuna stared at his phone in confusion at his friend’s rushed goodbye until Reborn grabbed his attention.  “So, what was Dino up to?” The little baby asked confidently, already knowing the answer.

The brown-haired mafia don peered down at his mentor, confusion and worry overshadowing his features.  “I don’t know, but it sounded like something was trying to bite him to death over the phone.”

And with those words finally falling from his mouth, Tsuna’s eyes widened in realization, and he blanched.

* * *

It was thirty minutes later that Dino arrived with Romario thankfully beside him, the blond-haired boss of the Cavallone looking rather tired but not too battered, despite his hair being slightly ruffled in random places.  Tsuna tried not to think about it too much or about how Dino probably had a bunch of hickies on his neck that were covered at the moment by the bulky green jacket that he usually wore; he wanted to keep a part of his sanity after all, and thinking about Dino doing weird things with **_Hibari_** wasn’t going to help him with that case. 

While he had been waiting for Dino to arrive, Tsuna had spent his time playing with Yamamoto after they had made sure that Gokudera was still inside the house.  They had found that the scared little boy had shut himself up in the bathroom and had decided to give the child space until Dino could translate for them.  And now that the blond-haired don was there, they could finally make Gokudera understand them.

After explaining the whole situation to Dino, who was giving his ‘little brother’ his undivided attention this time (Seriously, Hibari?!  Did Dino have a death wish?!), the group made their way to the bathroom where Gokudera continued to reside.  With a knock on the door and Dino’s calm and reassuring explanation about the misunderstanding, Gokudera finally, yet cautiously, opened the door. 

The silver-haired toddler peeked out from behind the door shyly, still unsure if he could trust the people in front of him.  Once his eyes fell on Little Yamamoto, who was standing only a couple inches behind Dino towards the front of the group, Gokudera averted his eyes downward, looking quite ashamed of himself.

If Yamamoto noticed that the other felt bad about his actions he didn’t show it, he just made his way up to the shy, little Italian, who still refused to look at him.  Once he was a couple inches away from the other, he held out his hand in a friendly gesture, a soft smile adorning his face.  “Fwiends?” He asked kindly as he waited for the other to respond.

With a quick translation from Dino, Gokudera gazed upon the Japanese boy in front of him in confusion.  He had hurt the other yet the raven-haired boy didn’t seem to hate him for it.  Why was that?  Gokudera had never met someone as friendly and good natured as the boy in front of him.  The people at the mansion hardly ever smiled—well, there was that one lady... 

At the reminder of the angelic woman who shared with him her gentlest smiles and played him beautiful music, Gokudera gave the boy in front of him another good look.

Realizing that he had the same air around him as that mysterious piano lady that came to visit him every once in a while, the little Italian boy knew that he could trust him.  He had never had a friend before.

With still hesitant hands, Little Gokudera took Little Yamamoto’s tanned and un-calloused hand in his own without saying a word, a small blush coming to the older boy’s cheeks as he continued to avert his eyes out of embarrassment, accepting the other boy’s proposal.

If it was possible, the smile on Little Yamamoto’s lips grew even bigger, his hazel-eyes dancing in excitement at his acquirement of a new and interesting friend.

* * *

 

A teenage Gokudera coughed and hacked as the pink smoke that had surrounded him and his arrival faded away, his feet feeling a little wobbly after making contact with the ground once again.  His body gave an involuntary shudder as he remembered how Yamamoto’s warm and protective arms had been ripped away from him just a few moments ago.  Gokudera knew that even though he was trying to push Yamamoto away, the feeling of the other being taken away from him so abruptly had been jarring.  The taller teen had been there one minute and gone the next in the blink of an eye. Even though Gokudera had his eyes closed at the time because the flashing colors in the tunnel were hurting them, he was sort of glad, because if he hadn’t then he would have actually **_seen_** Yamamoto be taken away from him. 

It was bad enough that the silver-haired teen could remember the cold and empty feeling the other’s separation had left him, but thinking of actually **_witnessing_** the action take place completely nauseated him. Gokudera couldn’t help but let another restless shudder roll down his spine at the thought.  Even though he had hardly seen his lover for the past couple weeks, the loneliness that he had felt all month without the other was **_nothing_** in comparison to that one moment in the time tunnel.  It had been a long time since Gokudera had ever felt so alone.

Disliking where his current thoughts were heading, Gokudera decided that the smoke must have cleared by now and that he could open his eyes to see where his ten-year-older-self had been moments before they had switched.  Since he hadn’t been shot at during the past couple of minutes he was busy thinking, he assumed it was a harmless location.  As the storm guardian opened his eyes to view his surroundings, those same jade-green eyes widened further in surprise, and not to soon afterwards, into that of acute horror once the images he was seeing became fully processed in his mind.

His last thought had been dead wrong.  There was no way in **_hell_** that this place was harmless.

Viridian eyes scanned his surroundings, not believing what he was actually seeing, and truthfully wishing that he would have never seen this place again.  He was in a very large room, so large that he would have thought of it as a living room if he hadn’t noticed the big queen-sized bed placed within the center of the room, the posts of the bed of immaculate design and made of rich mahogany.  The walls were a pristine opal with masterfully hand painted clouds and cherubs covering them like some long lost Michelangelo painting, the banisters made of the same wood as the bed posts and of the same intricate and expensive design.  Oh! And how could he forget the expensive, golden chandelier that hung from the ceiling or the ivory drapes that were drawn back from the four massive windows that were placed along the same wall as the gigantic bed— two placed upon each side in perfect symmetry—to let the afternoon sunlight bathe the room in its shimmering golden glow. 

The very sight of the richly furnished room made Gokudera feel sick to his stomach, almost more so than his sister’s face did.  Just what the hell was his ten-year-older-self doing in his childhood bedroom at his father’s mansion?!  This room had been as much of a prison to him as the whole freaking building had been, and that was just for its design alone!  He could appreciate the artistry and the beautiful design but it just wasn’t him. It’s like his father had purposely decorated the room that way to make his son out as some sort of little angel even though he had been a rough and unruly, and still unknown at the time, bastard child.   This room didn’t fit him at all, and neither did the mansion.

He completely despised them both.

Feeling himself beginning to hyperventilate as he was reminded of his childhood once again, and for the fact that five minutes had already past and he still wasn’t out of his angelic looking hellhole, Gokudera made a mad dash for the ivory colored door on the other side of the room.  He had to get out of there!  Maybe he still remembered the escape route he had taken ten years ago!  With the thought of escape solely on his mind, Gokudera didn’t notice the scattered toys on the floor until it was too late. 

“Gah!” The silver-haired teen exclaimed in surprise as he tripped over the scattered wooden blocks on the floor, making an unceremonious face plant into the fine cream carpet below him.  While Gokudera tried to figure out on what the hell had just happened, he spied the scattered assortment of toys on the ground behind him.  Each toy, from the building blocks to the bouncy balls and four-wheeled, pull-along, horse were of the same rich artisan design, looking very much like they would have been found in an antique store rather than a child’s bedroom.  The Storm Guardian could only blink at the objects that had tripped him in confusion.  Why would his toys still be out after all these years…unless…

Not wanting to even think about where his brain was heading, Gokudera stared vehemently down at the offending excuse for children’s toys scattered amongst his feet.  He remembered those stupid toys all too well.  His mother, no, **_Bianchi’s_** mother, would always get on his case about not treating his toys right, and that he had to be careful whenever he played with them because they were so expensive.  Seriously, what was the point of playing with them if he couldn’t be a little rough?!  Kids were meant to run around and be free in how they wanted to play, not restricted and watched over like convicts in a jail cell!  It was no wonder why he had spent most of his time fighting with the kids of the other members of his father’s Famiglia, played the piano to practice for his ** _real_** mother whenever she would come to visit, or why he had rather spent his time hanging out with a perverted Dr. Shamal than in this sad excuse for a children’s room.

Gokudera couldn’t stand being in the suffocating room for one more second.  Ignoring the discarded antique toys on the ground, he finally opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway where he was met with rich burgundy walls, fancy table stands and vases, and rows upon rows of pictures depicting the previous heads of the mansion, their morose visages mounted for eternity in golden engraved frames.

God, he hated this place.

A shrill scream sounded in the air, breaking Gokudera from his loathing thoughts.  He quickly turned towards the noise to see a young house maid staring back at him in startled horror.  Her eyes lingered for only a confused second before she ran back down the hall and turned the corner, disappearing from sight.

Well, that couldn’t be good.

Just to affirm Gokudera’s thoughts, the sounds of thundering footsteps echoed down the hall that the maid had disappeared from; the sound of masculine voices shouting orders towards each other in coarse Italian approaching closer by the second.

… ** _Shit_**.

Realizing that the maid had thought of him as an intruder (which only made his suspicions rise that he was more than likely flung into the past rather than the future if the maid didn’t recognize him in a more adult-like form), Gokudera high-tailed it out of there as he saw five burly men in suits turn the corner and rush towards him.  In a flash, Gokudera’s mind went a mile a minute as past memories of the mansion’s layout splayed out across his thoughts like an elaborate blueprint, every intricate detail coming back to him far easier than he thought would have been possible, since he had tried to forget about this place like every other traumatic memory he held.

As Gokudera turned another corner at Mach speed, he prepared himself with the knowledge that he would more than likely have to attack the men behind him in order to effectively escape.  He knew he had his usual assortment of dynamite on him, and would have liked nothing more than to toss them at the men and destroy some of the architect as collateral damage, but he wondered if he had enough time to light a cigarette before the men would start shooting at him.  Maybe his Vongola Gear would be better?

It was here that Gokudera noticed that the men were getting closer, the sounds of their voices becoming louder with each step.  He couldn’t help but wonder why they hadn’t started shooting at him yet.  If the tables were turned and he was trying to catch an intruder, the first thing he would do was shoot at their legs in order to trip them or shoot one of the intruder’s appendages to slow them down in order to catch them and interrogate them.  His father’s men had done no such thing yet. 

Just as he was beginning to think that his father had hired incompetent men, Gokudera turned another corner of the extensive hallway and crashed into another warm body, his momentum causing him to fall forward and over the smaller form that he had run into.

Grunting in pain and hearing a similar, yet more feminine, sound coming from below him, Gokudera held his body up with his hands and glanced down onto the person he had bulldozed over, only to see a young girl with long magenta hair.  As the little girl opened her eyes back up to do the same as her silver-haired attacker, jade-green eyes met their almost exact counterpart, both of them staring at the other in stunned silence.

‘ _Holy shit_ ,’ Gokudera thought to himself as he stared down at a much younger looking version of his half-sister (she looked to be about six-years-old).  ‘ _I really have gone back in time_!’  It was here, after realizing that it was his sister that he was looking at, that the teenage Italian noticed that said sister wasn’t wearing **_any_** protective eye gear of any sort.  With a violent gag and a clutch of his stomach, Gokudera fell over sideways from abdominal pain, effectively freeing his now younger-looking sister, who stood back up as soon as she got the chance.  As she gazed down on the convulsing young man who looked remarkably like her brother, the five men from before finally turned the corner and seized the suffering teen from his place on the floor.

“ _You’re right, he does look like the young master_ ,” one of the men observed once he was able to get a good look at the boy, while two others held the sickly teen up by both of his arms.  “ _What should we do_?”

“ _Stop_!  _Don’t hurt him_!” Little Bianchi shouted up at her father’s men as they thought up ways to deal with the familiar looking youth.  “ _That’s my brother_!”

“ _Now, now, Young Mistress, just because he looks like him doesn’t mean he is your brother_ ,” another man piped up as he glanced down at the barely conscious teen held between two of his colleagues, the silver-haired bomber groaning pitifully as his stomach convulsed again.  “ _Look, he’s far too old to be who you think he is_!”

The six-year-old girl understood what her father’s men were saying but she just had a feeling that she was right.  “ _I know, but I get the feeling that he is my brother, and he kind of sounds like him_.  _Maybe if you take him to Father, he would know_?”

The group of men paused as they thought the little girl’s words over, wondering on what course of action to take.  “ _Maybe we should_ ,” one of the men holding Gokudera up offered.  “ _He does have an uncanny resemblance to the Young Master, so maybe Boss will have a better idea on what’s going on, or, better yet, have a better way of interrogating him_.”

With reluctant nods of agreement, the men started to drag Gokudera down hallway after hallway, the sickly teen barely keeping up or understanding what was going on.  He had hardly heard a word the other men were saying, because he had been too focused on his upset stomach. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the men finally arrived at their destination, stopping just outside the double office doors to frisk the teen for any weapons.  A couple tedious minutes later after the men were sure that all of Gokudera’s hidden dynamite was confiscated (seriously, how could a boy his size carry around so many explosives, and hide them in practically every nook and cranny of his body?!  He was like a human bomb!) Sadly, Gokudera still felt too sick to put up any form of resistance, so when the men finally found what they were searching for, he was dragged into a lavishly furnished office and brought up before a huge, beautifully carved, desk. 

There, sitting before a surprised Gokudera’s eyes, was the form of his just as surprised father.

* * *

 

Yamamoto Takeshi could feel his feet meet concrete as he was brought out of the time tunnel with another cloud of smoke.  The tall teenager coughed continuously as the pink smoke invaded his lungs, his thoughts just as clouded as his eyesight as the last few moments in Tsuna’s bedroom replayed themselves.  Just what had Gokudera meant when he had said that everything had been a misunderstanding?  That he didn’t hate him?  Honestly, his silver-haired lover was confusing him so much right now that he was surprised he could still tell the difference between up and down.

Still, despite his anger towards Gokudera for purposefully lying to him and for confusing him to no end, he had still jumped from his seat once he saw that bullet fly towards his silver-haired companion, even though he knew full well that the bullet wouldn’t hurt him.  It was just instinctive for him to want to protect the other.  Yamamoto could still remember how it felt when Gokudera was torn away from him during their time warp, and he could honestly say that he **_never_** wanted to experience something like that again.  Feeling the other taken away from him so easily made him feel like he was inadequate in protecting the people he cared about.  Actually, with everything that was happening between him and Gokudera, that moment in the tunnel had felt like a foreboding omen; like time itself didn’t want them together.

Before he could think more on it, Yamamoto was startled out of his depressing thoughts when an abrupt honk from a passing car drove by him.  Realizing that his sight and hearing were back to normal, Yamamoto was finally able to see where the bazooka had taken him…and almost went into shock again at the overwhelming amount of sights and sounds that pervaded his senses. 

Tall skyscrapers surrounded him in every direction he turned, hundreds of flashing build boards hanging off of their glossy surfaces.  Thousands of cars and buses were jam packed onto the many busy streets nearby as busybody people tried to get where they needed to go.  Not only that, the people on the streets seemed to outnumber the vehicles on the road ten to one. Everyone walked side by side with perfect strangers because there was hardly any room for personal space as they traversed the streets of the metropolitan shopping district.  Now, usually, Yamamoto didn’t care too much about personal space but even he felt claustrophobic as the herds of people passed by him while he stood in place in the middle of the sidewalk and took everything in, the people giving him weird or irritated looks as they walked around him.

Ignoring the glares he was getting for not following the flow of pedestrian traffic, the tall teenager’s eyes finally fell upon a building that told him where he was; the Tokyo Tower.  Even though he was pretty far away from the imposing tower (the very top of it could only be seen from the angle he was at) he would recognize the architecture anywhere.  So his ten-year-older self was in Tokyo before the bazooka had hit him?  Was it for mafia business or for vacation?  As those questions came to his mind, Yamamoto spotted a newspaper stand down the street.  Curious as to what was happening in the world ten years from his present time, the dark-haired rain guardian made his way up to the stand to check out the headlines before his five minute quota was up.  He knew he would be cutting it close.

Upon finally arriving at the newspaper stand, which took a little longer than he wanted because of all the people in the streets, Yamamoto was finally able to peruse through the various different newspapers, trying to find a headline that popped out at him.  Weirdly enough, it wasn’t the headlines that caught his attention but the miniscule printed date near the tops of the front pages that did, and when Yamamoto fully processed the date he was seeing he couldn’t believe his eyes.  According to the year printed on the newspapers he had gone back in time instead of forward!  After he checked all the newspapers to make sure that it hadn’t been a misprint and that he wasn’t seeing things, Yamamoto came to a sudden realization that if the year was correct then he would have barely been two-years-old around this time.  What on earth was his two-year-old self doing in the streets of Tokyo?  And without his father no less!  Did they get separated?!

While the raven-haired teen worried over his previous thoughts and glanced around his surroundings as he shivered from the cold winter air attacking his underdressed body, he came to another realization; five minutes had already passed.  Yamamoto wasn’t sure if he should breathe a sigh of relief at the thought of the bazooka conveniently malfunctioning, since that meant he had an indiscernible amount of time to get somewhere safe before his younger self was returned to his time. That also meant that he could be stuck in this time for who knows how long, and running into his father at the moment would be, well, disastrous.  Feeling a headache coming on at the thought of the explanation he would have to go through if that occurred but feeling guilty at the thought that he would have to somewhat avoid his father—the older man was probably worried sick at this point if he did get separated from his younger self and was currently looking for him—Yamamoto tried to think of what to do.  It was probably best if he did find his father and tail him so that when he did return to his time, his younger self would be able to find him without getting into more trouble. 

Well, that sounded like a good plan and all but where was he going to find his father?  Tokyo wasn’t exactly small.

Not wanting to give up even though his plight was beginning to seem hopeless, Yamamoto brainstormed like there was no tomorrow, trying to wrack his brain for anything that could get him heading in the right direction.  Why would his father be in Tokyo...?

…Wait!  Now that he thought about it, he actually remembered his father saying that he went to college in Tokyo, and, as he thought about it more, he realized that his dad had actually gone to Tokyo from time to time during his childhood.  Maybe those were for class reunions?  If that was so, then his father would have had no choice but to bring his two-year-old self along so that he could go and visit his friends.  Had his old man ever mentioned about taking him to Tokyo before?

Feeling that he was only going to worsen his headache if he kept the questions coming, Yamamoto went with his gut instinct that his father was in Tokyo for a reunion.  Now if he was at a reunion, where would it be held?  The bars would have just opened, so that was a possibility, but if the reunion was for a bunch of people, the bars might not be big enough, especially if it concerned his father’s college graduating class.  Maybe they would hold it at a hotel? 

Nodding to himself in agreement, Yamamoto began to look around his surroundings again for either a bar or a hotel that was close by.  He assumed that his younger self hadn’t traveled too far away from the building the reception would have been held in, if that was the case at all.  Catching sight of what looked like a four star hotel further down the street, Yamamoto immediately headed in that direction.  He didn’t know when the bazooka would decide to send him back, so he had to be quick and efficient if he didn’t want his younger self getting lost in the streets of Tokyo.

Upon entering the fancy hotel, Yamamoto had to force himself not to stare and gawk at the beautiful ornate design of the interior of the building, the lobby breathtakingly beautiful to any who wished to observe. The design was a lavish European style that affectionately reminded Yamamoto of his feisty little bomber. 

Shaking his head to clear his last thoughts, Yamamoto made his way over to the richly polished wood of the reception desk, asking the nearest receptionist if his father had booked a room there, even though he was very certain that his father wouldn’t have had enough money to rent a room in such a lavish hotel.  The raven-haired teen was proven correct as the kind young receptionist shook her head sadly at the question.  Yamamoto then asked if there was a class reunion being held somewhere in the hotel and, to his surprise, the receptionist beamed up at him and confirmed his question, pointing a dainty finger down the nearest hallway that led to a banquet hall. 

After thanking the receptionist with a grateful smile, Yamamoto made his way down the hall, hoping that his luck was with him and that this was where his dad was supposed to be.  Once he arrived at the double wooden doors that had the banquet hall sign hanging on the wall and a sign posted on the door that indicated the college class reunion (Yamamoto still couldn’t quite remember what college his dad had attended, so he wasn’t sure if he was at the right place or not), the dark-skinned teen cautiously opened the doors and peeked his head into the room, trying to pick out his father’s face or voice among the throngs of laughing people within the gigantic room. 

Thankfully, he didn’t have to search too long when he heard a loud guffaw from across the room, the voice a booming, thunderous, laugh that held a distinctive edge to it that Yamamoto would recognize anywhere.   That laugh could only be his father’s since he had heard that loud, joyful, laughter most of his life.  The black-haired teen’s hazel eyes quickly zeroed in onto his father’s location, barely making him out amongst the crowd but still able to notice the reddish hue to his father’s cheeks and an indiscernible drink in his hand.

Yamamoto frowned at this, easily seeing that his dad was getting himself drunk in the middle of the afternoon with his friends with no regards to being responsible and keeping a watch over his little son. That much was obvious.  The raven-haired teen couldn’t remember a time when his father had been so careless but maybe he had just succumbed to peer-pressure…or maybe…

The light in Yamamoto’s eyes darkened as a depressing memory surfaced to the forefront of his mind, an almost immeasurable guilt overcoming the tall teenager as he slowly closed the banquet hall doors and walked away, trying to forget what he had remembered.  Maybe a walk would clear his head?  Seeing as he was correct in his assumptions of a class reunion, and that he was in the same building as his father, he saw no harm in investigating the rest of the lavish building to kill whatever time he had remaining.

It was here that Yamamoto found himself still on the ground level of the hotel a few minutes later, staring into a finely decorated restaurant where the beautiful tinkling of a fine-tuned piano reached his ears.  For a moment the teen just stood there and took the music in, the soft and gentle tune calming his agitated nerves and bringing him to another memory, no, more like a wish.  He had always wanted to hear Gokudera play the piano but had been too afraid to ask because he knew that the smaller teen became touchy whenever the subject was brought up.

He didn’t know what got into him at that moment but, the next minute, Yamamoto found himself moving into the interior of the restaurant, bypassing a curious hostess and a few waiters as he followed the sound of the piano.  The taller teen didn’t know why but he felt compelled to see the person who was playing such beautiful music. 

Once the view of a grand piano came into his sights, Yamamoto stopped a distance away and looked on into the roped off section of the restaurant where the piano was placed.   A young woman with long, wavy, strands of shining silver hair cascading down her back sat at the piano, her fingers gliding over the keys like water flowing over rocks in a stream bed, each movement perfect and natural.

Even though he couldn’t get a good look at her face from the distance he was at, Yamamoto knew two things: 1) this woman was breathtakingly beautiful, even though he couldn’t make out what she truly looked like. It was just the way the women held herself so delicately, the way her creamy porcelain-like skin and silver locks shined underneath the lighting of the room, and the angelic air that seemed to emanate from her very being as she played the piano beside her with such skill that any onlooker would be envious. Everything the woman did seemed to be a work of art, and Yamamoto couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster at the sight of her. 2) He felt like he knew this woman, even though he was pretty sure that he had never seen her once in his life.  She just…reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t quite place it.  Maybe it was because her hair was such a rare silver color that he couldn’t help but be reminded of Gokudera?  That and she **_was_** playing the piano, so maybe that’s why she felt familiar?

Well, his reasoning aside, Yamamoto decided that he wanted a closer look, so ignoring the weird looks he was getting from the customers of the restaurant, he did just that.  As soon as he started walking towards the piano, though, the woman’s song came to an end and she sighed in exhaustion.  Drawing a little closer, Yamamoto still wasn’t able to see her face but he did notice how her shoulders slumped in fatigue.  Just as he was about to draw even nearer, he noticed a waiter make his way over to the tired looking woman out of the corner of his eye.

Yamamoto stopped and watched as the waiter bent down a bit to talk to the seated woman.  By this point, the raven-haired teen was close enough to hear what they were saying to each other, so it was no surprise that he was able to overhear the waiter address the young beautiful woman as ‘Gokudera-san’. 

All time seemed to stop as Yamamoto heard that name.  He was so stunned at what he had overheard that he completely missed the rest of the two’s conversation, only noticing the waiter help the woman up from her seat at the piano by her shoulders and steer her towards what looked like a waiting area for customers near the front of the restaurant.  Still too stunned to really think of what he was doing, Yamamoto followed from a distance, wanting nothing more than to get a better look at the mysterious woman that held his lover’s name.

When the waiter finally sat the woman down on a comfy looking couch in the lounge area and told her to take her time and rest, Yamamoto was disappointed to notice that the woman’s back was too him now and that, in order to get a better look, he had no choice but to confront her.  For some reason, Yamamoto felt himself becoming nervous at the prospect of walking up to her.  He had never remembered a time where he had been afraid to meet new people before but, for some reason, he couldn’t help but feel that this was some sort of momentous occasion, one that he should feel honored to experience yet cautious on how he approached it.  The young baseball player’s gut instincts told him to tread lightly.

Swallowing his nerves, Yamamoto finally found the resolve to make his way slowly towards the seated woman, like any faster movement would make the women suddenly disappear into thin air. 

Like a ghost.

Making his way around the lounge area’s couch, the raven-haired teen could see that the young woman’s head was bent downwards; her form slightly slouched with her silver locks shadowing her face from view.  Noticing that her breathing wasn’t even and that  he wasn’t disturbing her sleep if he was to say something, Yamamoto quietly asked,  “Um…excuse me?” he began awkwardly, his nerves coming back to him as he gazed upon the slouched feminine figure before him.  Trying to be as polite as he could, he continued, “Um…do I know you?”

The woman’s form seemed to stiffen as the questions left his mouth but, eventually, she brought her head up to gaze upon her questioner, her face one of pure curiosity. 

Yamamoto could feel his breath hitch as he gazed down onto the woman before him, her face bearing an almost perfect resemblance to Gokudera Hayato.

 

             

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here's the fifth chapter! I was finally able to edit this a little more! I'm back in school right now, so I have very limited time to do my own things, so yeah, these edited chapters will be coming slower than usual. Anyway, for this chapter, the only warnings I have are for excessive cuteness, and a terrible portrayal of two-year-olds XD I'm seriously sorry about the unrealistic portrayal, but I had more fun writing this way, and I think the toddlers turned out cuter too. Still, though, I did write them this way for a reason, and the only reason they are two is so that older Gokudera can meet up with his dad again, and so that Yamamoto can run into Gokudera's mother. That said, I hope you guys don't mind the two-year-old version of Yamamoto and Gokudera. Thanks for all the kudos, guys!

It had been an hour since Yamamoto and Gokudera had gotten hit by the modified Ten-Year Bazooka and fifteen minutes since Little Gokudera had accepted the younger Yamamoto’s friendship.  Tsuna now found himself in an almost empty house (his father was still passed out downstairs with Romario taking care of him) watching over the two little toddlers from the past with the help of Dino, who was there to translate, and the ever watchful eyes of Reborn. 

Currently, the two older males and Reborn—who was taking a nap (so much for watchful eyes)—were up in Tsuna’s room conversing on what to do in their situation as the kids played in the corner of the room.  Tsuna had dug up some of his old toys that Lambo and I-Pin had played with when they were younger and had given them to Gokudera and Yamamoto to play with.  As of now, the two-year-olds were sitting a distance away from each other and rolling a medium sized ball back and forth between them.  Little Yamamoto was all smiles.  He was only too happy to be spending time with his newfound friend.  Little Gokudera on the other hand, looked bored out of his mind as he pushed the blue ball with yellow stars back towards the awaiting Japanese boy.  It was obvious that he was getting little enjoyment out of their current activity.

Seeing as rolling the ball was becoming less exciting by the second, Little Gokudera opened his mouth and spoke his mind about how he wanted to play something different but Little Yamamoto just gave him a funny look, not understanding what the other boy was saying.  Feeling a little irritated that his translator was too busy talking with the brown-haired kid on the other side of the room and not helping him, Little Gokudera stood up and started walking over towards the table where the older boys were sitting at.  Since he didn’t know that the silver-haired boy was going to get up, Yamamoto pushed the star patterned ball towards where Gokudera had been mere seconds ago, the ball continuing to roll across Tsuna’s bedroom floor until it hit the wall on the opposite side where it laid lonely and forgotten.

Bright hazel colored eyes welled up in sadness as he watched his newfound friend walk away from him, wondering if he had done something wrong to make the other just up and leave him like that.  Weren’t they having fun?  It was here that Little Yamamoto noticed a smaller red colored ball lying near his feet.  The tiny Japanese boy picked up the rubbery-feeling ball in his soft tanned hands, an idea quickly coming to his mind. 

“Hey, Goku-chan!”  The bubbly little toddler yelled out as he stood up and reared his arm back; the one that held the rubber ball.  “Catch!”

Now, since Little Gokudera didn’t understand Japanese, and since he didn’t recognize the name that the younger boy was calling him, it wasn’t all too surprising when the silver-haired toddler didn’t turn around to catch the rubber ball as Little Yamamoto threw it like a baseball (just like his dad had taught him!) towards him.  In fact, the only people who responded to the Japanese boy’s call were Tsuna and Dino as they turned to see what the little boy was shouting about.  Of course, they were too late in saving Gokudera from a ball to the back of his head, and could only stare on in shock as the little silver-haired child fell forward from the momentum of the throw and planted his face into the carpet below him.

As the two older boys continued to stare at the befallen boy in astonishment while Little Yamamoto blinked in a perplexed manner as to why Gokudera hadn’t caught the ball like he had instructed, Little Gokudera pushed himself off of the ground and stood back up on wobbly feet.  The Italian toddler turned around and glared heated daggers at the boy who had hit him, rubbing the slowly forming bump on the back of his head in the process.

“ _I should have known you were like everyone else_!” The Italian boy yelled out, his green-grey eyes scrunching up in hurt at the younger boy’s unknown betrayal.  Hardly anyone he knew was nice to him and he thought that the spikey-haired toddler would have been different, but that obviously wasn’t the case.  The bump on the back of his head was proof of that.  “ _You’re just like everyone else at my house_!”  And with that, Little Gokudera ran out of Tsuna’s bedroom once again and away from a now very confused Little Yamamoto.

Since Yamamoto hadn’t understood a single word the little Italian had shouted at him, he could only stare after the boy’s retreating back with confusion and sadness.  He knew that he had hurt the other in some way but he hadn’t meant to; Little Yamamoto had just wanted to play.  Did this mean that his new friend didn’t like him anymore?

Seeing the raven-haired toddler’s eyes begin to shine with held back tears, Tsuna finally shook himself from his previous stupor and rushed over to the little boy; Dino following close behind.

“I’ll go and catch up to Gokudera, Tsuna,” the blond-haired mafia don informed his younger friend as he made his way out of Tsuna’s bedroom to do as he had said.  Tsuna responded back with a distracted ‘okay’ as he knelt down to Little Yamamoto’s level to try and comfort the little boy.  This situation reminded him of the older versions of his friends, almost to a tee (except for the crying, of course).  It wasn’t all that hard to see the similarities with how the little toddlers reacted around each other in comparison to the present Yamamoto and Gokudera.

“Yamamoto-kun,” Tsuna consoled the raven-haired toddler gently by putting his hands on the little boy’s shoulders in a comforting manner.  The teary eyed child glanced up towards him at the touch.  “You know that you did a bad thing, right?”

The Japanese child continued to sniffle as Tsuna’s words reached his ears.  “I-I j-just wanted t-to p-pway…” Little Yamamoto whimpered out between distressed hiccups as he rubbed at his glistening eyes.  He disliked the fact that his new friend was angry with him again.

Tsuna’s eyes softened at his little friend’s words.  He gently grabbed a hold of the hand that Little Yamamoto was using to wipe his tears away, effectively stopping the upset toddler from reddening his eyes further. At the feeling of Tsuna grasping his arm, Little Yamamoto stared back up at the short teen in confusion as Tsuna prepared himself to remind the little boy about their situation.

“Remember, Yamamoto-kun, Gokudera-kun doesn’t understand our language,” Tsuna restated firmly, his eyes imploring the little boy to remember the important facts he was telling him.  “He didn’t understand that you wanted him to catch the ball you threw and, because of that, he got upset.”

The brown-haired teen’s words seemed to be the catalyst to Little Yamamoto’s tears because the tiny drops of water began to leak from his doleful eyes without restraint, running down his child-like cheeks to the floor below.  “S-So Goku-chan d-dinks I w-wanted to huwt him…?” The Japanese toddler hiccupped out with more difficulty than before, his troubled caramel eyes begging Tsuna’s to tell him differently.

The spikey-haired mafia boss bestowed a sad smile onto the little toddler, still trying to comfort him as he tried to figure out how to fix the situation.  He hoped Dino had found Gokudera-kun already and had talked to the feisty boy and calmed him down.  “I’m not sure on what Gokudera-kun said,” Tsuna slowly explained as he answered the crying boy’s question. “But I think you’re right.  I have a feeling that Gokudera-kun thought you had hit him on purpose.”

“B-But I didn’t!” Little Yamamoto cried out in objection.  The raven-haired toddler didn’t want to think that Gokudera hated him now because of an accident.

“I know you didn’t, Yamamoto-kun,” Tsuna reassured the ailing boy as he picked him up from his position on the floor and held him in his arms.  “Why don’t we go and find Gokudera-kun so that you can apologize?”

Little Yamamoto just sniffled and nodded his head solemnly in reply as he wiped at his eyes again.  He didn’t know why but he hated the feeling of not being liked by the silver-haired toddler, and he wanted nothing more than to fix the problem he caused.  The raven-haired boy remembered how the other’s jade-green eyes shone with hurt after the ball had hit his head. It was the same look he saw in the other’s eyes when he had tried to introduce himself earlier.  Little Yamamoto had never seen anybody else that had looked at him with so much fear and uncertainty before. The silver-haired boy had an air of loneliness around him that the little Japanese toddler couldn’t help but want to erase.  That’s why, more than anything at the moment, he wanted to be Gokudera’s friend because he felt like the other boy really needed one.

As Tsuna left his bedroom with Little Yamamoto in tow, he heard a deep sounding voice further down the hall.  Knowing that his dad was more than likely still asleep, Tsuna headed towards what he thought to be Dino’s voice.  As he approached closer, he noticed that the voice—he could tell that it definitely was Dino’s by this point—was coming from inside the guest room where Fuuta, Lambo and I-Pin slept, and that a smaller sounding child-like voice was responding back in Italian.

Knowing he was in the right location, Tsuna entered the room to see Dino and Little Gokudera sitting on the floor, the silver-haired toddler holding a partially open and relatively big children’s picture book in his tiny hands.  Dino was quick to notice his ‘little brother’s entrance and ended his conversation with Gokudera mid-speech, beckoning the brunette over to him with a hand.

Seeing as Dino had stopped talking to him, Little Gokudera turned his head in the direction of the blond-haired man’s and saw Tsuna standing in the room’s entryway with Little Yamamoto in his arms, the tiny Japanese boy still sniffling and rubbing at his eyes.  Trying to not be affected by the little boy’s obvious feelings of distress, Little Gokudera just ‘humphed’ and turned back to his book.   He had seen how the other kids at the mansion reacted when he yelled at them or when he would hit them for bullying him.  It was usually all an act in order to get him in trouble with his parents when the other kids had obviously started the fight first.  Why would that dark-haired kid be acting any differently?  He had been the one to throw a ball at his head after all.

When Tsuna finally made his way up to the two sitting males—Gokudera glowering into his book at his and Yamamoto’s close proximity— he couldn’t help but ask, “Did you talk with Gokudera-kun about how it was all a misunderstanding, Dino-san?”

Dino gave his fellow pupil a sad smile in return.  “Yeah, but he doesn’t seem to believe me.  He said that every kid he has met has been mean to him, so he doesn’t think that Yamamoto is any different.”

Tsuna frowned at that, not liking the idea of one of his friends being bullied for most of his childhood.  It wasn’t fun.  He had experience in that field after all.  “Well, can you tell Gokudera-kun that Yamamoto-kun wants to apologize for the misunderstanding?”  The spikey-haired teen implored.  He knew full well that if Gokudera didn’t accept Yamamoto’s apology that it would only make the situation worse.

In return to the future mafia boss’s question, Dino transformed his sad smile into a quirky one.  “Well, I would, but this little guy doesn’t go by the name of Gokudera.  He told me that himself!”

“Ehhhh?!” Tsuna exclaimed in astonishment, not sure on how to process what the older man was telling him.  “What do you mean he doesn’t go by Gokudera?!”

Dino gave a playful scoff at his friend’s overreaction; he hadn’t met anyone besides Tsuna who had such expressive facial features.  “Well, Gokudera was born in Italy, Tsuna.   Most of his blood is Italian. Wouldn’t it make sense for him to have an Italian name?”

There was a short silence as Tsuna mulled over Dino’s words, his face scrunching up in concentration.  He understood what Dino was getting at but then why did Gokudera go by a Japanese name here?  Was that his real name?  “So…Gokudera-kun has two different names then?”

The blond-haired man just shrugged in response.  “Yeah, more than likely.  I’ve done research on Gokudera’s heritage and, with him being the son of a mafia boss and a half-bred Italian woman, it would make the most sense for him to go by an Italian name.  If his mother did give him a Japanese name and he went by it, then it would be obvious to the mafia world that Gokudera’s father had had an affair.  Half-breeds are seen as outcasts within most mafia syndicates and children from affairs are as well.”

The frown on Tsuna’s face only grew deeper and deeper as Dino finished his explanation, an old memory coming to the forefront of the brunette’s mind.  “But…doesn’t everyone find out about Gokudera-kun’s heritage anyway?  I think I remember Reborn saying that Gokudera-kun heard about his mother from one of the maids…”

“Yeah, that was the case,” Dino affirmed Tsuna’s suspicions with a frown of his own.  “I did research on your guardian’s histories a few years ago to make sure that they wouldn’t cause too many problems for you, Tsuna, and I can say with certainty that Gokudera’s heritage is eventually figured out.  That’s why he wasn’t accepted into any mafia syndicates until the Ninth hired him as an occasional assassin-for-hire back when you guys were in middle school.”

Tsuna’s chocolate-brown eyes shook with aggravation at the news.  Of course he had always had his suspicions concerning Gokudera’s anti-social behavior but the silver-haired teen had never told him too much about his past.  He hated to think about how lonely Gokudera must have felt most of his life and that there wasn’t anything he could do to change it.  “So,” Tsuna began again, trying to keep the anger in his voice under control.  “What is Gokudera-kun’s real name?”

Dino’s eyes shone with sympathy at noticing how upset his friend was at the news.  “It won’t do you any good to be angry with yourself, Tsuna.  Gokudera eventually met up with you guys, after all, so he does find a better place to be.  You guys were worlds apart until he came to Japan, so there’s nothing you could have done to help him beforehand.”

Tsuna just gave an exhausted sigh in response, not caring that Dino hadn’t answered his previous question.  He knew that he shouldn’t get so worked up over something that happened in the past but he just felt so frustrated!  With another sigh, Tsuna finally took in Dino’s words and gave the blond-haired man a soft, grateful smile, understanding that Gokudera was better off now since he had come to Japan and finally found some friends (even though he never liked to admit it).

“Oh, and Gokudera’s real name is actually Constantine.”

The smile quickly left Tsuna’s face to be replaced with a look of shock.  The spikey-haired boy scrunched up his nose at the name as he tried to pronounce it.  According to him, it was weird to call Gokudera-kun something other than, well, Gokudera-kun. “Cone-stan-tine?”  

“Heh, yeah,” Dino responded with a smile, not caring that Tsuna hadn’t pronounced the name accurately.  “It’s actually a pretty good name in Italian.  Don’t you like it?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it…”Tsuna stated slowly as he mulled the name over again.  “…It’s just that I’ve always known him as Gokudera-kun, so it’s just kind of weird.”

By this point, Little Yamamoto had stopped his sniffling and was listening in on the two older males’ conversation.  He also tried to pronounce the silver-haired toddler’s true name but it was all in vain.  It was just too weird for him.  “I like ‘Goku-chan’ better!” The practically two-years-old Japanese boy exclaimed in slight indignation.  In his little brain, the Italian name sounded scary and, even though it fit the silver-haired boy, Goku-chan sounded much nicer and cuter!

“Hehe, I thought you would say that!” Dino laughed good-naturedly.  “How about I ask him if we can just call him Gokudera?  I feel weird calling him Constantine, too.”

Tsuna and Little Yamamoto nodded enthusiastically in response as Dino did as he was asked.  At first, Little Gokudera seemed slightly offended at the question but then he just shrugged his tiny shoulders and went back to looking at that picture book he had found.  He was used to other’s calling him weird and inappropriate names, so what could one more hurt?   

Dino rose an eyebrow at the little boy’s indifferent attitude but smiled nonetheless as he gazed back up towards Tsuna and Yamamoto.  “Well…it seems he doesn’t mind.”

Tsuna let out a breath he didn’t know that he had been holding as he set Little Yamamoto back down on his feet.  “Well, now that that’s out of the way, how about you apologize to Gokudera-kun now?”

Little Yamamoto gazed back up at Tsuna in trepidation, a little frightened of what the outcome was going to be.  “But what if he doesn’t wike me anymowe…”

Tsuna just gave the little boy a reassuring smile as he said.  “Don’t worry, Gokudera-kun might act all grumpy but I don’t think he could really hate you.” What Tsuna didn’t add—what he was afraid to add—was ‘ _I hope_ ’.

Little Yamamoto’s eyes shone with renewed hope as he nodded up at Tsuna to show that he understood.  As the little boy turned around and gathered up his courage, he approached the silver-haired toddler, who was still busy looking over his picture book.  “Um…” Little Yamamoto started shyly, his hazel eyes shaking with remorse as he gazed down at the boy ignoring him.  “I’m weawwy sowwy I huwt you, Goku-chan. I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to pway.”

After Dino’s translation and hearing the sadness in the other boy’s voice, Little Gokudera couldn’t help but look up at the Japanese boy in slight surprise. Yamamoto actually sounded sorry.  Did that mean that the blonde Italian man was right in that it had all been a misunderstanding?  As pale green eyes met remorseful brown, Little Gokudera could finally see how truthful the other boy was being and couldn’t help but blush.  No one had ever given him a heartfelt apology before…

A little embarrassed at how nice the other boy was being to him in comparison to what he was used too, Little Gokudera practically buried his face into the big picture book he was holding and nodded his head to show that he accepted Little Yamamoto’s apology.

An exuberant smile spread across Little Yamamoto’s face so fast at the silver-haired toddler’s acceptance that anyone would have missed it if they had blinked.  With a little exclamation of joy, the smaller version of Yamamoto plopped himself down next to the embarrassed Italian child.  He made to grab for one side of the huge picture book the other was holding in order to share but Little Gokudera saw the movement and flinched, closing the picture book in the process and hugging the oversized book to his tiny body in defense.  He was not the least bit interested in sharing.

Little Yamamoto’s eyes welled back up in sadness at the other boy’s refusal.  Did he do something wrong again?  Seeing how hurt the Japanese boy was at his actions, a look of guilt quickly swept over Little Gokudera’s face.  With slight reluctance, the Italian toddler opened the picture book back to the first page and offered one end of the book for Little Yamamoto to hold and share.   The raven-haired child’s eyes lit up with happiness at the silver-haired boys offer as he took a hold of the book edge and scooted closer so that he could fully see the book, the two little boys’ shoulders just brushing as they glanced over the pages together.

“Ha, I guess I don’t need to translate!” Dino laughed happily as he witnessed the future rain and storm guardian getting along again.

Tsuna laughed along with Dino too, glad that the two-year-olds were acting friendly towards each other once again.  As the brown-haired teen looked upon the adorable scene before him, he was quick to notice something that Dino hadn’t.  “Um, I actually think you do need to translate, Dino-san.”

The blond-haired don blinked up at Tsuna in confusion before he followed to where his ‘little brother’s’ chocolate-brown eyes were resting, noticing that Little Gokudera was talking in deliberately slow Italian as he pointed to different pictures within the book.  Seeing that the feisty Italian child was trying to teach Little Yamamoto his own language, Dino was quick to jump in and help; a little flustered that he hadn’t noticed what was going on until then.

Tsuna couldn’t help but laugh at the spectacle as he sat down beside Dino to watch his toddler-formed best friends interact with each other, taking delight in the unusually happy and friendly spectacle as Dino went back and forth explaining Italian and Japanese to the two little children, since Little Yamamoto wanted to teach Gokudera his language as well.  If only his present friends could be this nice around each other…

The spikey-haired teen shook his head as recent memories from earlier that day resurfaced.  He had no idea what Yamamoto and Gokudera were fighting about this time but it had seemed serious.  Not to mention, Gokudera had actually stated that he didn’t **_hate_** Yamamoto, which was unusual to say the least from Tsuna’s point of view anyway.  The future Vongola boss couldn’t help but think that he was missing something, that there was something going on between his two best friends, but what was it?

* * *

 

A half hour later, when the little versions of Gokudera and Yamamoto were done looking over their picture book (It had mainly been about aliens), Tsuna and Dino found themselves walking down the stairs towards the living room.  They had agreed that finding some cartoons for the little kids to watch would be fun for them, and were making their way to the living room to do just that. 

As the two older males entered the living room, Romario glanced up from the novel he was reading after hearing their entrance.  The older Italian man was sitting at the small table in the living room where Iemitsu was still passed out against; a warm blanket wrapped around the drunken man’s shoulders.  What was also surprising was that Reborn, who had obviously woken up from his nap, was sitting beside Romario drinking tea.

“So how is the babysitting job going?” The arcobaleno toddler questioned with slight interest as he took another sip of his warm beverage.

“I think it’s actually going pretty well now,” Tsuna replied with an unusually confident smile.  “Dino and I are going to find some cartoons for Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto-kun to watch.”

Reborn raised an eyebrow at his current pupil’s attitude.  It was unusual for the teen to be acting so calm and collected, and even more so for Gokudera and Yamamoto to be getting along.  Of course, he already knew about the two guardians’ current relationship—he could read minds after all—but it was still strange to think of them actually playing nice with each other.

Romario seemed to pick up on Reborn’s skepticism because he directed that look towards his boss as well.  “If you don’t mind me asking, Boss, but where are the children?  Shouldn’t you be **_watching_** them?”

Dino rubbed the back of his head sheepishly at his right-hand man’s scrutiny, a little irritated by the question.  “Come on, Romario, do you think I would just stop watching them?”

“Actually—”

“What do you mean actually?!” Dino exclaimed in astonishment as Romario gave him a knowing look.  “I would have you know that they are currently playing tag and are totally safe!”

Just as those words left the Cavollone boss’s mouth two little toddlers burst into the living room, both boys giggling uncontrollably as they ran around Dino’s and Tsuna’s legs with Little Yamamoto giving chase to Gokudera.  The black-haired Japanese boy looked a little bruised up as he continued to laugh and chase after his silver-haired friend (surprisingly, Gokudera seemed to be enjoying himself as much as Yamamoto was) showcasing that Dino hadn’t been completely correct. 

Fate seemed to want to rub in the fact that Dino was incorrect in his previous statement because, a few seconds after the toddlers had entered the room, Little Yamamoto tripped and fell into a roll as he hit the floor, his bubbly laughter cut short as he made his unceremonious tumble.  Tsuna and Dino gasped at the sight while Little Gokudera stopped running away and peered back towards the fallen toddler. The two older males looked frightened and worried for the toddler, while the little silver-haired boy stared at the fallen boy nonplussed, like he had seen it before.  In fact, the second that Little Yamamoto came out of his tumble to face plant onto the floor, he got back up a second later like nothing had ever happened as he laughed and started chasing after Gokudera again; the little Italian smiling in return as he ran away from the other boy’s outstretched hands.

The other occupants in the room (the ones that were awake anyway) just stared on in bafflement at the odd spectacle as the two little boys continued to chase each other around the room in their massive giggle fit, Yamamoto frequently falling down and jumping back up to give chase once again.

“It seems that your clumsiness is contagious, Dino,” Reborn stated while Romario grunted in agreement beside him, both men (or in this case, one baby) continuing to watch as Yamamoto tripped once again and rolled out into the hallway while Gokudera ran towards the couch on the other side of the room in the completely opposite direction.

“Clumsiness?  What are you talking about?!” Dino questioned, his tone laced with complete confusion as Little Yamamoto reappeared in the living room still giggling away like he hadn’t just roll into the base of the stairs.

Tsuna could only stare at everything going on around him with a deadpanned expression as Yamamoto then proceeded to trip and face plant himself into his father’s back, the drunken man so lost in the throes of sleep that he didn’t stir from the accidental assault.  It was obvious that Dino still had no idea about his own clumsiness and that Yamamoto—the boy with amazing reflexes—became surprisingly clumsy when he was extremely happy.

Before the little boy could cause more harm to himself and ruin Dino’s image even more, the said blond lifted the Japanese toddler up as he and Gokudera tried to run past him again.  Little Yamamoto immediately stopped giggling and struggled in the Cavallone boss’ grip, one of his tiny hands outstretched as he tried in vain to reach for Gokudera.  Noticing that his friend wasn’t chasing him anymore, Little Gokudera stopped running and turned around to see the struggling toddler in the older man’s arms.  Yamamoto had been captured!

A menacing look crossed the silver-haired toddler’s face as he witnessed the scene, his little hands bunching up into fists as he heard Little Yamamoto start calling out to him with that overly-cute nickname that he had come up with.  Yamamoto was his first real friend and he’d be damned if he would let someone else take him away or hurt him!

With his blood boiling over in anger, Little Gokudera started to rush madly towards Dino in order to enact his rescue mission.  Sadly, before he could kick the tall Italian translator in the shin and save the day, Tsuna grabbed him up as he ran past before he could do any inevitable harm.  That still didn’t stop Little Gokudera from struggling in Tsuna’s arms and yelling at Dino, though.  The Cavallone boss could only stare down at the enraged toddler in shock as words that a two-year-old ** _should never be saying_** left the little boy’s lips.

Reborn and Romario watched the scene unfold before them as Little Yamamoto and Gokudera struggled in their guardians’ grips to try and reach each other, all the while vulgar language was spewing out of the little Italian boy’s mouth like a broken faucet.  Romario could only bring his hand up to his mouth in shock while Reborn raised an eyebrow at the scene.  Things were starting to get out of hand again.

“Gokudera-kun!  Yamamoto-kun!” Tsuna exclaimed in exhaustion as Gokudera accidently (or purposely) kicked him in the stomach again.  “Calm down!  We just want you both to settle down so that Yamamoto will stop hurting himself!”

Surprisingly, the two toddlers heard the agitated, brown-haired teen’s words and stopped their struggling (after Dino had quickly translated for Gokudera, of course).  Noticing that the children had finally calmed down and that Gokudera had finally stopped swearing at him like a drunken sailor, Dino let out a nervous laugh.

“Hehehe…um, why don’t we all go and sit on the couch and watch some TV?”  The blond-haired man offered just as nervously as his laugh (Little Gokudera’s swearing had unnerved him almost as much as Hibari did with a tonfa), and speaking in both languages so that both of the toddlers understood him.  “You guys like cartoons, right?”

Little Yamamoto just nodded his head in a cute fashion while Little Gokudera gave an indifferent huff and crossed his arms, still glaring daggers up at Dino since he hadn’t released Yamamoto yet. 

Exchanging nervous glances, Tsuna and Dino then decided to place the children back down on the ground.  Once they were both released, Little Gokudera marched his way up to Little Yamamoto under a matter of seconds, grabbed the startled boy roughly by the wrist, and started dragging him away from Dino and towards the couch.  The silver-haired toddler than sent a withering glare back towards the blond-haired man, silently warning him to not follow or he would face the consequences.

Dino could only laugh nervously again as he **_slowly_** followed behind Tsuna towards the couch.  He had no choice but to follow because he was the designated translator.  The blond man could only hope that Little Gokudera didn’t bite his hand off for approaching them again—he had already had enough biting for one day, thank you very much.

As they all got comfortable on the couch with Yamamoto being forcibly placed at the end of the couch by a still over protective Gokudera, Tsuna turned on the TV with the remote he had on hand and flipped it to the kid’s channel.  The spikey-haired teen tried to make himself comfortable as they watched the overly silly anime that was on the TV but was finding it quite difficult under the circumstances.  After all, he was sitting between Little Gokudera and Dino, and the silver-haired toddler was still sending death glares Dino’s way.  It was like he was daring the Italian Don to try and touch Yamamoto again.  Since Tsuna was caught in the middle, he got the full brunt of the glare as Little Gokudera watched them like a hawk over an oblivious Yamamoto, who was laughing happily at the TV screen while he held the feisty Italian’s hand in his own and acted like nothing unnatural was going on.

It took a little while for Gokudera to stop glaring at them but, by the time it did happen, Little Yamamoto had fallen asleep from all of the energy he had used up playing tag with Gokudera.  The raven-haired toddler currently had his head resting against Little Gokudera’s shoulder, their tiny hands still intertwined.  Tsuna didn’t know what to make of the scene as he watched Gokudera shift around uncomfortably as the Japanese boy became dead weight against his side.  Obviously, Little Gokudera didn’t know what to make of it, too, and was at a lost for what to do, that is, until he felt his eyes also become heavy with exhaustion.  With a cute little yawn that didn’t fit his feisty persona, Little Gokudera laid his head upon Little Yamamoto’s and promptly fell asleep, the two toddlers now sleeping soundly against each other.

While Tsuna battled within himself to figure out if he should find the scene extremely weird or extremely adorable, he heard Dino let out a heavy sigh next to him.  Tsuna turned to look at the frazzled Cavallone boss and couldn’t help but feel the other man’s exhaustion.  After all, his day had basically involved Hibari and feisty children, which wasn’t a good mix for anyone’s physical or mental health.

“ _Grazie a Dio_ ,” Dino breathed out with relief as he brought a hand up to his hair and began ruffling it out of nervous habit.  “I thought he would never stop glaring at me!”

Tsuna could feel Dino’s pain as Romario snickered behind them at the table, commenting on how his boss could handle a blood-thirsty prefect but was at the mercy of a mere Italian toddler with an impeccable choice in vocabulary.  Dino didn’t have enough energy to argue as he brought his arms up to rest them on top of the couch, finally able to relax now that the children were asleep.

Dino and Tsuna had learned an obvious lesson that day, and that was to **_never_** , under any circumstances, take Little Yamamoto away from Gokudera.

* * *

 

With the two toddlers asleep on the couch, Tsuna and Dino spent the rest of their time watching more teenage orientated anime’s on TV.  Every once in a while, Tsuna would turn his head and see Little Gokudera and Yamamoto sleeping soundly against each other, their chest’s rising and falling in synchronization as if they were a single breathing being.  Tsuna could feel a gentle smile pull at his lips as he watched his two younger looking friends.  Yamamoto and Gokudera got along so well with each other in their younger forms and they didn’t even understand the other’s language.  It was so wonderful to see them finally getting along that the spikey-haired brunette could only hope that the Yamamoto and Gokudera of his time could finally get to that point, too, just like their younger selves.

Before the future Vongola Tenth could think more on the subject, he heard the front door open and shut, the sudden noise resounding throughout the room.  Turning his head in curiosity towards the living room doorway to see if the rest of the family had come back from shopping, the shorter teen was met with the sound of childish laughter as Lambo, I-Pin and Fuuta ran into the room, apparently playing their own game of tag.  With all the noise, Little Gokudera and Yamamoto slowly woke up as the other children’s laughter reached their ears.

Soon after the children had entered the room, Nana and Bianchi also made an appearance, both of the women holding shopping bags full of groceries in their hands.

“We’re back!” Nana announced in her regular bubbly fashion, a warm smile spreading across her face as she took in the new people in the room.

Before Tsuna could reply with a regular welcoming, his father sprung up from his slouched sleeping position against the living room table and brought Nana into a hug.  Apparently, his wife’s voice alone was the only thing that could wake him from the dead of sleep.

“Nana, you came back~” Iemitsu whined in a pitiful fashion as he nuzzled his head against his burdened wife’s’ (the grocery bags were getting heavy), who didn’t seem to mind the man’s still half-drunken affection.

Nana could only giggle at her husband’s usual silly antics as the spikey, blond-haired man continued to snuggle with her.  “Well, it couldn’t be helped,” Nana started to explain to her half-drunk husband in motherly excitement.  “After Bianchi-chan told me about all the extra mouths I was going to be feeding, I had no choice but to go out and pick up some more things for dinner!”

After she explained herself, Nana then glanced in Tsuna’s direction and spoke again with her usual smile.  “Bianchi-chan told me all about how Gokudera-kun’s and Yamamoto-kun’s cousins came to visit, and how you offered to look after them for the afternoon.  That was such a nice thing for you to do, Tsu-kun!”

Tsuna could only scratch the back of his head sheepishly as he realized that his mother was referring to the little versions of Gokudera and Yamamoto.  He was sort of glad that Bianchi had already come up with an explanation for the toddlers being there because, with all the chaos that had happened during the afternoon, he had completely forgot about coming up with one. 

“Um…yeah…” Tsuna finally replied back in what he hoped was a convincing sounding voice.

Taking in her son’s reaction with unfazed acceptance, Nana then turned her attention towards Dino, who was sitting beside him.  “I’m also glad to see that you’re visiting again, Dino-kun.  It would make me happy if you and Romario-san would stay for dinner as well.”

After Dino gave his agreement to stay, Nana and Bianchi then headed towards the kitchen to place the groceries away.  Fuuta and I-Pin went along with them as well to help carry the heavy loads of groceries and to also help with preparing dinner.  Bianchi, even though she wanted to help with dinner as well, was forced to occupy a drunken Iemetsu, who had followed them into the kitchen to continue his cuddle session from earlier with his wife; which would only distract her from her cooking.  That left Romario, Reborn, Dino, Tsuna, and Little Yamamoto and Gokudera in the living room with a slightly restless Lambo.  The childish cow had been in a playful mood before Fuuta and I-Pin left him in mid-game to go help with dinner, and he still wanted to play.

Quickly glancing around his environment, the little cow’s eyes fell onto the only other children in the room.  Little Gokudera and Yamamoto were still sitting on the couch, both of the toddlers rubbing at their sleepy eyes as they continued to wake up.  Lambo frowned to himself as his emerald-green orbs fell onto Little Gokudera, remembering how much trouble he had gotten into for interacting with the boy and for the fact that older Gokudera, even though Lambo had a weird sort-of respect for the silver-haired Italian, was still very mean towards him whenever he wanted to play. 

The curly, black-haired, child knew that he didn’t want to get in trouble again, so he didn’t want to play with Little Gokudera; Little Yamamoto, on the other hand, was a different story.  Lambo had always liked Yamamoto.  The taller teen was always nice to everyone and fun to be around (except when he was throwing baseballs).  The raven-haired teen would always play with him when he asked, so his younger form shouldn’t be all that different, right?

With these thoughts in mind, Lambo finally made his decision and walked up to the couch where the toddlers were sitting.  “Hey, Yamamoto, do you want to play?” Lambo offered in excitement as he impatiently waited for the now younger child to respond.

Little Yamamoto was very uncertain at first, since he remembered how mean Lambo had previously been to him but, after seeing how excited and friendly he was being towards him, the little Japanese toddler couldn’t help but get pumped up at the thought of playing a game.  If he played with Lambo then maybe the older kid wouldn’t be so mean to him and Goku-chan anymore! 

Nodding his head fervently towards the awaiting cow-child, Little Yamamoto crawled down from his seat on the couch to join Lambo on the floor.  Lambo smiled with happiness at the prospect of a new playmate but couldn’t contain the twinkle of superiority in his eyes at the thought of being in charge since he was older.  In an instant, the older kid’s bossy demeanor came back as a new idea for a game popped into his head.

“Okay, we’re going to play cops and robbers!” The curly-haired kid exclaimed triumphantly as he patted Little Yamamoto on the shoulder.  “I’m the cop and you’re the bad guy, so you have to run away from me.  If I catch you then I get to lock you up in jail!  Got it?”

Hazel orbs blinked in slight confusion as Yamamoto peered up at the older cow-child, he didn’t fully understand what Lambo was talking about but knew that he just had to not get caught by the other.  It was like tag right?  With a silent nod of his head and his usually exuberant smile, Little Yamamoto was ready to play.

Lambo gave another pompous smirk as he patted Yamamoto on the shoulder again as a sort of congratulations for understanding.  “Alright!  Since I’m so nice I will give you a head start.  I’ll count to ten and chase after you.  You better run fast because Lambo-san is a super-fast runner!”

With another understanding nod, Little Yamamoto shifted back and forth in anticipation, more than ready to give all he had to make this game as fun as possible with his new friend.  He hoped it was a game where you switched players because he wanted to play this with Goku-chan as well!  As Lambo turned around and started counting louder than he probably had to, Little Yamamoto made a mad dash for the living room doorway, trying to put as much distance between him and Lambo as he could.

As this was going on, and after Lambo finished his countdown and started chasing after Little Yamamoto in unrestrained glee, Little Gokudera, Tsuna and Dino watched on in silence.  Dino was hoping that Lambo wouldn’t do something that would cause more drama again because he didn’t think he could handle anymore headaches (it was the little cow’s fault that he was here in the first place and not spending time with his precious Kyouya, after all).  Tsuna watched on in apprehension as well as the two children left his line of sight and ran out into the hallway.  Half of that apprehension was the same as Dino’s but the other half was for the little silver-haired toddler sitting next to him. 

The short, spikey-haired teen glanced down towards the said toddler and couldn’t help but wince as the little boy’s light green eyes flared up in hardly suppressed rage.  Was Little Gokudera insulted that Lambo hadn’t invited him to play or was it because Little Yamamoto had been taken away from him again.  Tsuna was beginning to think it was the former until he gave the feisty Italian a closer look, his Hyper Intuition coming into play.  Behind the anger in the two-year-old’s eyes there was a barely noticeable twinge of jealousy and an underlying sense of overwhelming sadness. 

The future mafia don couldn’t stop the stab of pity he felt for his younger friend, his stomach twisting together uncomfortably as the same look of betrayal from earlier entered the little boy’s eyes.  Just what had Gokudera’s childhood been like in order to make him so sensitive to every little thing around him?  The tiny Italian’s emotions were always so extreme, even in his older self, and Tsuna had the feeling that his environment and childhood had to be very emotionally unstable in order for the boy to be acting this way.  The brown-haired teen knew from what Gokudera, Reborn, and Dino had told him about Gokudera’s past and about the struggles he faced but, as he stared down at the child before him, Tsuna felt for the first time like he was actually starting to decipher who Gokudera really was.  It was like he was actually beginning to understand the emotional and physical turmoil his best friend had gone through in his past, how it was affecting him now in his current time, and how every hardship he had faced in his life resulted in the way he acted and interacted with the people around him.

A feeling of immeasurable guilt overcame Tsuna in that moment.  Just what kind of friend was he for never trying to understand one of his closest friends; one of his ** _first_** friends.  Everything was starting to make sense now with how Gokudera had been so wary and violent towards other people and why he had been so clingy to him, not only as the ‘boss’ of the mafia family that Gokudera had joined, but also as one of the silver-haired teen’s first friends as well.  Tsuna had just accepted Gokudera for who he was no matter how scary or downright crazy the other teen had acted, but he had never tried to go deeper than that; even after hearing the story of the other teen’s past from Reborn.  Sure, he had gotten a better understanding of Gokudera’s character from the story but he had never delved any deeper than that; he just accepted Gokudera’s character for what it was.  He had never tried to figure out the reasons **_why_** Gokudera acted the way he did. 

Finally, Tsuna felt like he had more insight into Gokudera’s feelings and the situation at hand. It was more than likely that Little Gokudera felt like Little Yamamoto didn’t like him anymore because he was playing with someone else. Also, it probably didn’t help that Little Gokudera didn’t get along with Lambo, so the silver-haired child probably felt like the older child was bullying him again and stealing one of the few friends he had away. 

Not knowing on how he was going to go about this, Tsuna just went with his gut instinct and hesitantly placed a hand on Little Gokudera’s shoulder.  Upon feeling the gentle touch, the silver-haired toddler quickly glanced up towards Tsuna, his vibrant green eyes still inflamed with his anger.  Tsuna, in return, gave his now smaller friend and sad yet understanding look as he gripped Little Gokudera’s shoulder tighter. 

“Don’t worry Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto-kun didn’t get sick of you,” Tsuna spoke in a gentle yet firm voice, his big brown eyes imploring the smaller boy to understand.  “He’s just playing with someone else at the moment and I bet he will want to play with you when he comes back.  So don’t worry, everything will be okay.”

After Dino was done translating what Tsuna had said, Little Gokudera could only stare up in shock as the brown-haired teen gave him a truly heartfelt smile.  Seeing that someone actually cared about what he felt, and that someone finally understood his pain, the silver-haired toddler was unable to stop the tears of relief and gratitude that welled up in his eyes as he stared up at Tsuna’s sincere smile.  Trying but failing to stifle the choking sob that racked his tiny frame, Little Gokudera flung himself at Tsuna—the short teen having to hold himself back from squeaking in fright at the unforeseen action—and held onto the now older boy for dear life as he openly wept onto the brunette’s t-shirt. 

Tsuna was still slightly shocked about the action and felt a little uncomfortable at the wetness that was accumulating on his stomach but the look he had from before, the one of sad understanding, overtook his features again as he hugged the little boy closer to him.  He didn’t know if he had actually helped his little Italian friend in feeling better but Tsuna still couldn’t stop the hopeful smile that spread across his face as he thought of how much better he seemed to understand Gokudera now.   

Obviously, Little Gokudera didn’t want to lose the people he cared about because he felt that hardly anyone cared for him in return.  He had cold and ignorant parents, a sister who tried to love him but only ended up hurting him, childhood peers that constantly bullied and belittled him because of his appearance, and mafia related people that were despised and disgusted with him for a heritage that he had no control of.  It was no wonder that Gokudera was so violent and clingy.  

An uncomfortable cough sounded from Tsuna’s left, breaking the short teen from his previous thoughts as he glanced in the direction of the noise.  Tsuna’s questioning eyes soon landed on Dino, who still had a fist held up near his mouth from his previous action.  The older, blond-haired man looked slightly exhausted as he began to explain why he had grabbed Tsuna’s attention.

“I think I hear Lambo and Yamamoto coming back, and I’m guessing that you want me to stop them and fix this problem,” Dino outright stated with tired, chestnut-colored eyes and exhaustion lacing his tone.

Tsuna blinked a couple times and listened closely as the sound of childish giggling gradually approached their location.  Dino had obviously been correct when he said that he had heard the other children.  Seeing how worn Dino seemed to be at the prospect of more translation and kid drama, Tsuna gave him an apologetic look.  “Sorry, Dino-san. Could you help a little longer?  I’m grateful to you for all the help you have been, and I know I couldn’t have done this without you…”

“Ha, I’m not tired of helping you, Tsuna,” Dino laughed back in response as he ruffled the shorter teen’s hair affectionately.  “After all, you are my ‘little brother’ and I love to help out when I can.  It’s just that this has been a very tiring day for me and I kind of have plans later on…”

A red flush came to Tsuna’s cheeks as he witnessed Dino blush in slight embarrassment when his words tapered off.  He had an idea of what Dino was talking about.

“D-Don’t worry!” Tsuna stuttered out in a frazzled state, unconsciously hugging Little Gokudera closer to him in the process.  “I think it will be okay if you leave after dinner.  I should have a better handle on the situation then…”

Still noting his friends uncertainty but thankful that he was free to go later on, Dino bestowed Tsuna with a grateful smile.  “Thanks, Tsuna, but I think you should let go of Gokudera now.  It looks like he can’t breathe.”

Tsuna blinked up at the taller man in confusion until he finally felt the tiny toddler struggling in his arms— Little Gokudera pushing against Tsuna with all his might to free his face from the older boy’s shirt.  Squeaking in fright at what he saw, Tsuna quickly let go of the suffocating toddler and apologized profusely; Dino, of course, translating the brunette’s apologies.  Little Gokudera could only take deep inhales of breath as he wiped at his reddening eyes, trying to compose himself once again.

While Little Gokudera finally stopped crying and accepted Tsuna’s apologies, Yamamoto and Lambo reentered the living room in a flurry of giggling motion.  Seeing as Romario was still in the room, it was no surprise to see Dino skillfully stand up from the couch without tripping over himself and pick Little Yamamoto up as he ran past, just like he did before.  Lambo, of course, wasn’t too happy to see the older man interfere with his playtime.

“Hey!  Lambo-san is supposed to catch him!” The little cow complained in indignation as Little Yamamoto stared up at his once-again-captor in confusion.

Before Dino could answer to the upset cow, and before Lambo could do something stupid and violent, Tsuna got up from the couch and approached the other two while stating,  “Sorry to interrupt your playtime, Lambo, but could you…um…do a top secret mission for me?”

The curly-haired kid’s eyes widened in excitement at the prospect of an awesome secret mission; completely forgetting about his previous anger.  “What is it, Tsuna?!  Lambo-san can do it!”

Tsuna showed Lambo his most grateful smile, not feeling all too guilty about his lie.  “Um, could you go and see if Mom is close to being done with dinner?  Everyone is getting hungry, so we want to know when she will be done making it.”

Lambo just smiled up at Tsuna in a cocky manner as he stated about how easy his assignment would be.  As the little cow-child ran out of the room towards the kitchen, Tsuna could only hope that his drunken father, who was probably still in the kitchen, would distract Lambo enough for them to have some peace to fix the problem between Gokudera and Yamamoto.  Speaking of the two toddlers, Tsuna retraced his steps back to the couch and to a slightly sulking Little Gokudera.

After explaining to the tiny toddler that Little Yamamoto would only understand his feelings if he told him about them and, after some difficulty with Dino’s translation and Little Gokudera’s prideful reluctance, Tsuna was finally able to convince the Italian toddler to do as he asked.  Picking up the still reluctant child from the couch, Tsuna placed him back on the floor where Little Yamamoto was now standing, completely oblivious to what was going on. Tsuna then backed away a bit from the children while Dino kneeled down to their level, ready to translate.

At first, Little Gokudera just looked down at his feet as he shuffled them in embarrassment, clearly uncomfortable with what he was going to do.   Little Yamamoto just stared at his nervous friend in puppy-like confusion as he tilted his head cutely to the side, trying to get a better angle to catch the silver-haired toddler’s eyes so that he would look up at him instead of at his feet.  Eventually, Little Gokudera mumbled out his innermost feelings in his native tongue, all the while still staring down at his toes as his face grew redder with each word that left his mouth.

Little Yamamoto blinked in a perplexed manner as he witnessed his new friend becoming red in the face and stuttering over his words.  Wondering on what was going on, the little Japanese boy turned towards Dino, his golden-brown eyes silently asking for an explanation.

Dino gave a slightly cheeky smile in response as he fully processed what Little Gokudera was trying to say through his barely audible mumbles and stutters.  Despite how tiring these two had been for him, they were just too cute to be angry towards.  “What Gokudera is trying to say…” Dino stated slowly for Little Yamamoto to understand, the cheeky smile never leaving his face.  “…Is that you are one of his only friends, Yamamoto.  That means that you are very special to Gokudera.  He thinks you don’t like him if you run off and play with someone else.”

The raven-haired toddler’s eyes widened in realization once he fully understood what Dino was telling him as an ecstatic smile slowly spread across his tiny face at the older man’s words.  “Goku-chan is speshial to me, too!” The little Japanese boy piped up all too happily, his hazel eyes swimming with deep emotion that overwhelmed his tiny frame.  Even though the toddler couldn’t completely understand why he felt so happy at the mention of being special to someone, Dino and Tsuna could definitely tell the little boy was touched by the words nonetheless.

“Can you tell Goku-chan dat I’m sowwy for not pwaying wid him?” Little Yamamoto asked in earnest, breaking the older males from their thoughts as his hazel eyes shook with slight fear.  He didn’t want Gokudera hating him again.  “I pwomise dat I was going to pway wid him when I got back!  I weally was!  I would nevew fowget Goku-chan ‘cuz he’s speshial to me—‘though I don’t know why—can you say to him dat I wike him thiiiiis much?”

And with that said, Little Yamamoto spread his tiny arms out as wide as they could go to emphasize how much he liked his newfound friend.  Tsuna and Dino could only smile at how cute the other’s action was as Dino translated all that Little Yamamoto had said.  As the words found their way to Little Gokudera, the silver-haired Italian’s face grew even redder (if that was possible) to the point that Tsuna wondered if steam was going to flow out of the toddler’s ears or if he was going to pass out do to all of the rapid blood flow to his head. 

Thankfully, both of those didn’t happen.  Lambo entered the room a few seconds afterwards to declare that dinner was ready before leaving the people in the room to watch what was going to happen next.  Hearing the mention of food, Little Yamamoto made his way up to a completely embarrassed (and secretly happy) Little Gokudera and took a hold of his hand.  The tiny Italian squeaked in surprise at the sudden touch, his face taking on an even deeper shade of red that radiated off his little face like a shining beacon.

“Come on Goku-chan, wet’s go eat!” Little Yamamoto exclaimed in his usual happy and bubbly fashion as he turned around without waiting for the other boy’s answer and started leading him towards the kitchen.  Tsuna and Dino had to hold back laughter as they watched the two toddler’s progression—Little Gokudera wobbling behind Little Yamamoto on shaking legs as the younger boy gently led them to the kitchen with a smile on his face, completely oblivious to his silver-haired companion’s flustered state.

* * *

 

Despite how cute the two toddlers were, Tsuna still couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable as the two continued to interact with each other throughout the rest of the evening.  Really, he was happy that his friends were finally able to get along at their current age but…something felt slightly off…like it wasn’t normal for two little boy’s to be acting the way they did around each other.  Of course, he could just be overanalyzing what he was seeing but, during the rest of the night, the confidence he felt in his observations continued to point him in that direction.

The first time he actually began to notice that Little Yamamoto’s and Gokudera’s actions towards each other were not quite normal was during dinner.  Little Gokudera was finding it difficult to eat his food because the only utensils that the Sawada’s used were chopsticks.  They were Japanese after all, but Gokudera had never used chopsticks before, so it was easy to see how the little toddler was becoming frustrated at not being able to use them properly.  It also didn’t help that Gokudera was brought up in very refined environment; the mere thought of actually eating the food with his hands didn’t even cross his mind. 

Tsuna was about to help Little Gokudera out by hand feeding him as his mother had kindly asked of him (she was too busy being lovey-dovey with her husband to help) but stopped once he saw someone else beat him to the chase.  Before his very eyes, an excited Little Yamamoto grabbed a piece of food from Little Gokudera’s plate with his own chopsticks and offered it to the irritated Italian.  Little Gokudera’s irritation quickly turned to flustered embarrassment once again but he accepted the other boy’s offer nonetheless.  With hesitant lips, Little Gokudera took the offered food into his mouth, smiling in satisfaction as the taste of Nana’s amazing cooking hit his tongue. From there, Little Yamamoto would grab a bite from his own plate and eat then grab a piece from Gokudera’s plate and feed the other boy, the two-year-olds eating their meal in satisfied silence as they shared a single pair of chopsticks.

Of course, no one stopped the other twos’ actions because of how cute it looked but Tsuna couldn’t help but feel a little wierded out by it.

The second time he noticed something off between the two was when his mother asked him to help bathe Little Yamamoto and Gokudera after dinner.  At first, Tsuna complained because the very thought of washing his two best friends, despite them being little children who didn’t know how to properly wash themselves, was very uncomfortable.  Sure, he had been to public bathhouses with Yamamoto and Gokudera before but they could wash themselves perfectly fine!  They would only ask him to help wash their backs every once in a while but that was a common problem that everyone faced.  He had never had to wash anything else (thank the gods)! 

Despite his slight discomfort and complaining, Tsuna knew he had no choice but to do as his mother asked (Reborn had also informed him that if he didn’t take his mission seriously he would kill him, so he really had no other choice).  After he prepared the bath, he painstakingly scrubbed Little Yamamoto and Gokudera down, which was difficult to say the least because the two toddlers didn’t want a bath at that moment.  They would have rather spent their time chasing or throwing the wash bucket at each other than to actually get cleaned up. 

What felt like hours later, when in truth it was only thirty minutes, Tsuna was finally able to place the now clean toddlers into the tub to soak.  He decided to join them as well because he felt that he **_really_** deserved it and that he could use some form of relaxation for the night to come, since Dino had left after dinner like Tsuna had made him promise.  This meant that he had no one to translate if things turned bad again.

Sadly, Tsuna’s relaxation was short lived as Gokudera initiated a water fight between him and Yamamoto.  The two toddlers splashed each other in excitement as they squealed and giggled at the other’s actions, affectively hitting Tsuna as well even though he was on the other side of the tub.   Tsuna tried to ignore the random splashing but, half-way into the battle, Little Yamamoto jumped at Little Gokudera exclaiming that he was a shark and started not biting, but playfully sucking on one of Little Gokudera’s ears.  The silver-haired Italian boy was almost as shocked as Tsuna at the action but he didn’t seem to mind the attention too much as he visibly relaxed and allowed the other to do what he wanted.

Tsuna knew that they were just little kids and that they didn’t fully understand the implications of their actions but seeing them continuing to act very much unlike normal two-year-old boys was starting to become disconcerting.  Tsuna was pretty sure little boys weren’t this touchy feely.  Having a hunch that he was right in his assumptions, Tsuna then proceeded to make his way across the tub and plucked Little Yamamoto from his hold on Little Gokudera’s ear.  Immediately after the separation, Little Yamamoto began to fuss as he squirmed in the spikey-haired teen’s hands, trying to get back to Gokudera.

It was here that Little Gokudera started yelling at Tsuna in heated Italian, making motions with one of his hands to put Little Yamamoto back down.  Hating to admit to himself about how intimidated he was by the two-year-old’s icy glare, Tsuna reluctantly replaced Little Yamamoto back into the bath water.  Little Gokudera then immediately pointed at the Japanese toddler then back towards his own ear, waiting patiently for the other to get what he meant. The Italian child didn’t have to wait long before the raven-haired toddler immediately latched back onto his ear at the indication, a weird muffled sounding purr emanating from the Japanese boy’s mouth as he gently sucked on the offered appendage.

Tsuna knew that Yamamoto had always been a touchy-feely sort of person and he now understood that it was possible that Gokudera probably reveled in any form of attention he got because of his background, be it physical or emotional, but even he had to admit that this was just way too weird for his friends to be doing.  They were just there, on the other side of the bath, with Yamamoto latched onto Little Gokudera’s shoulders and sucking innocently on his ears all the while Little Gokudera sat perfectly still with his eyes closed in contentment.

Feeling his brain was beginning to turn into mush, Tsuna quickly ended the bath and tried to dress the two toddlers into some of his old childhood pajamas that Lambo and I-Pin had used when they were younger.  After much struggle, Tsuna then found out that he had no choice but to let the two toddlers sleep in his room in his spare futon because all of the guest rooms were filled up (seriously, why did everyone freeload at his house!).  So after separating the boys who had been play wrestling and tickling each other in his room while he was preparing the futon for them, Tsuna was finally able to calm his two friends down enough to put them to bed.

As the worn-out teen turned off the lights and put a tiny nightlight in for the kids, he couldn’t help but notice how close the two toddlers cuddled together in the futon as he passed by them to climb into bed.  Tsuna tried not to think too much on that fact as he pulled the covers over himself and settled down to rest but he couldn’t stop himself from peering down at the cuddling toddlers one more time before he closed his eyes.

It was there that Tsuna witness Little Yamamoto telling Little Gokudera good night, the Japanese toddler placing a quick kiss to the silver-haired boy’s forehead before smiling happily as he snuggled back into the sheets.  Little Gokudera didn’t wish Little Yamamoto a good night’s sleep in return (he had no idea what he had said after all) but blushed shyly and reached out and held the other’s outstretched hand in his.  From there, both boys fell into peaceful slumber as they slept facing close together while holding each other’s hand.

Tsuna could only stare at the two sleeping toddlers suspiciously after he had witnessed the scene.  Something wasn’t quite right here and if he added the fact that the Gokudera and Yamamoto from his time had been acting strangely around each other as well, Tsuna was beginning to see a connection as he started to place the pieces of the puzzle together.  It seemed his Hyper Intuition was finally catching on to something amiss between his two friends.

Even though Little Gokudera and Yamamoto were too young to understand how they interacted with each other, if you paired their actions to their present selves, despite how incredibly different both sets of the boys acted around each other, there seemed to be some underlying meaning; one that both the younger version and present version of Yamamoto and Gokudera shared.

Before Tsuna could finally piece everything together, though, he gave a mighty yawn as the exhaustion from the day took ahold of him.  Deciding to put his thoughts on hold until the morning, Tsuna snuggled back into his pillow and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's the next chapter! You guys get to see what Gokudera is up to now! I hope you like my take on Gokudera's feelings, and how I portrayed his father. I remember this chapter being very easy to write for some reason XD Anyway, I just want to remind you guys that sentences that are italicized and in quotation marks are when people are speaking Italian. There was no way that I was actually going to try and translate all of those sentences, and it wouldn't have made sense to do so anyway. If I did that, you guys wouldn't understand what was going on XD Also, I wanted to mention that, for those who have possible seen this story on Fanfiction.net, I have altered one thing in this chapter, and a few chapters previous with concerns to the child Bianchi. Originally, I had her age as eight but that's before I realized that she's four years older than Gokudera, and not six. I had always assumed that she was 20 in the anime, but I checked a wiki page later and found out she's 18 XD Anyway, besides that change, the only warnings I have for this chapter are Gokudera's potty mouth and drama. I hope you guys enjoy!

The air in the richly furnished office was thick with tension as Gokudera stared disbelieving down at the man that was seated before him, his pale-green eyes staring into the identical set of his father’s.  Gokudera was in complete shock, like he had been hit in the gut.  Here before him was the man he had not seen and had refused to see for eight years.  The same man who had only paid attention to him if he got in trouble. The same man who had paraded and flaunted him around to other mafia families for his unique hair color, high I.Q., and prowess on the piano.  The same man who willingly let his half-sister poison him in order to receive higher praise from other families for his ‘unique’ playing style while under the influence. 

The same man, who had an affair with his mother, stole her son away, reduced her visitation rights, and then promptly killed her when he felt that she had become a burden to him.

Gokudera inhaled sharply as that last thought came to mind; effectively waking himself up from his dazed stupor.  The silver-haired teen peered down abruptly, cutting off eye contact with his father as his eyes became overshadowed with pain, his bangs hiding his weakness from the older men in the room. 

As his heart clenched painfully against his rib cage at the thought of his real mother, Gokudera’s body became tense and rigid in the hands of his father’s men, his breathes coming out in ragged gasps as his anger and hatred for the man before him resurfaced to almost unbearable levels.

The brewing teen’s anger was so potent that the men holding onto him could even feel it palpitating off the boy in foreboding waves. Their bodies also seized up as they felt Gokudera become rigid in their hold.

The tension in the room skyrocketed from there as the silence continued to pervade it. No one said a word in fear that, the moment they did, all hell would break loose. 

“ _Let go of me_.”

The first words uttered since they had entered the office came from the silver-haired captive, the words spoken so quietly that it was a miracle that the men holding onto Gokudera could hear them.  There was a pregnant pause as silence overtook the room again, the men refusing Gokudera’s demand and still suspicious of the boy who had an uncanny resemblance to their boss’ son.

“ _I said let go of me_!”  Gokudera repeated again with his bangs overshadowing his eyes from view, his words rough and edged with desperation as he began struggling in his captors’ grips.  He needed to get out of there.  He could feel himself suffocating as a million emotions began to bombard him at once.  Gokudera was so torn between running away from there as fast as he possible could and viciously mauling the man seated before him that he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

He had never felt such different emotions mix so strongly within him. 

As the men holding the feisty Italian captive continued to struggle keeping Gokudera within their grasp, a new voice made itself heard over the commotion.

“ _It’s alright, men, let him go_.”

The voice was older and stern and resonated with a deep baritone that demanded complete obedience. 

It had been so long since he had heard that voice that Gokudera was immediately paralyzed by it as it rung throughout the room. Unhappy and unfulfilling childhood memories of that voice washed over the silver-haired teen as he and the men holding onto him stopped their struggle as they stared at the voice’s owner in shock.  Jade-green eyes met jade-green eyes once again, the older pair demanding the younger to stay where he was as his men released their hold, and the younger pair shaking in shock and fear.  It had been so long since he had seen him that Gokudera had completely forgotten that he not only hated his dad, he was terrified of him as well.

And he hated himself for showing such weakness.

The two continued to stare at each other for a bit before Gokudera’s dad spoke up again in his rumbling voice.  “ _If you don’t mind, young lad_ ,” the older man with greying hair demanded curtly, his black mustache twitching as his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the youth standing before his desk.  “ _Would you mind telling me why you look like the older carbon copy of my two-year-old son_?”

Gokudera’s eyes narrowed as well as his father’s words reached his ears, the green orbs flashing with anger and unhidden hatred as he tried to push his fear for the older man aside.  The silver-haired teen swallowed heavily, building his courage up to respond.  There was no way in hell he was going to let this man control him again, not after all the struggle he put into evading his grasp for the past eight years.  It didn’t matter that this man was the past version of his father or the present.  Gokudera wasn’t going to bow down to him; not anymore.

“ _I’m your… **son** …from the future_.” Gokudera finally ground out, practically choking on the word ‘son’ as it came out of his mouth.  As much as he hated to admit his blood relation to the man in front of him, he saw no other choice but to admit it if he wanted to leave this room and this time alive.  He really didn’t need his father’s men shooting him as an impostor if he didn’t fully explain himself.  As much as that would help him in not having to worry about his situation with Yamamoto, he couldn’t just give up and die here and leave the Tenth without a reliable right-hand man!  “ _I was hit by the Bovino Family’s 10-year-bazooka, which malfunctioned and sent me back in time rather than forward_.”

There was another brief pause as this information sank in, the older mafia don’s eyes widening in slight shock, and then…wonder.  “ _The Ten Year-Bazooka?  I’ve heard that the Bovino Family was working on such a contraption, but to think that they actually finish it and have it work is_ …”  He gave the tense teenager before him another thorough look over, almost unable to believe that the boy standing before him was his future son.  “… _amazing_.”

Gokudera had to resist the incredible urge to sock his father in the face for eyeing him like a rare specimen at the zoo.

As the older man’s eyes swept over him again, Gokudera could quickly see how his father’s eyes changed from wonder to pride as their eyes met again.  “ _You have grown well, Constantine_ ,” his father stated proudly, fully believing his son’s tale of the Ten Year-Bazooka. 

Ignoring how Gokudera flinched at the mention of his Italian name, his father continued.  “ _It seems you have grown fit in mind and body from the way you stand before me.  I can also see the ring on your finger_.  _To think that my son is accepted into the prestigious family of the Vongola, and as a guardian nonetheless!  You have no idea how proud I am to see you achieve such glory_ —”

“ _Don’t you dare fucking praise me, Old Man_!” Gokudera screamed in rage, his eyes burning with green fire as his fists clenched ominously at his sides.  “ _I know you’re not proud of me_!  _You’re just taking pride in that it’s **your** flesh and blood that made it into the Vongola_!”  The silver-haired teen’s body shook with emotion at the reminder of his father’s main fault; doing anything to gain the most self-satisfaction from his own actions and the accomplishment of his children.  It took everything that Gokudera had not to rip the Vongola Storm Ring from his finger and throw it on the floor to spite his father and show his complete disgust for his father’s ‘pride’ in him; the only thing stopping him from doing such an action was the deep love and respect he held for his position and for the Tenth.

Gokudera’s father stared up at him in absolute shock, his jade-green eyes widening at his future son’s words.  He wasn’t used to having his precious son mouthing back to him like this (he was only two after all).  It wasn’t long before the older man’s look of surprise turned into one of self-righteous anger, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits as his body tensed in his chair.  “ _That’s no way to talk to your **father** , Constantine_…” The mafia don warned thickly in Italian as he folded his hands together atop his desk, fidgeting with said hands as if he was trying to control an impulse.

Fear struck hard upon Gokudera’s nerves as he witnessed the metamorphosis in his father.  The man had always been imposing and hardly approachable but now, more than ever, he was the perfect picture of the deadly head to a mafia family.  Gokudera didn’t know what to do now.  He had never actually fought with his father face to face before because he had decided to run away instead of calling him out on his mother’s death all those years ago. 

At the reminder of the beloved woman’s death once again, the silver-haired teen’s nerves flared back to life, incinerating the fear that held him in place as the years of repressed rage built back up inside him. 

He wasn’t going to run away from his father this time.

With narrowed, hate-filled eyes that matched his father’s to a tee, Gokudera replied back in a venomous tone, his voice shaking as he emphasized his words, “ _I don’t consider the person who **lied** to me about my own birth mother and then killed her off for his own convenience to be my **father**_!”

The tension soared in the room to overbearing levels as the silver-haired teen spat those last words back into his father’s face, their eyes—Gokudera’s were sparking with hatred, while his father’s eyes were shaking vigorously in shock—locked together as time seemed to stand still.

As Gokudera’s father tried to find the words to speak, Gokudera could hear the whisperings of his father’s men behind them.  All of them were talking to each other in low, hurried Italian, completely surprised about the teen from the future’s outrageous accusation and about how their boss wasn’t denying such a preposterous claim.  It was apparent that only the closest of his father’s men were the only ones to know, and to have witnessed, the affair between his father and mother.

There was a loud clearing of a throat that brought everyone’s attention back to the main desk where the mafia don sat.  His appearance was no longer deadly and frightening but much more solemn and slightly defeated as he hung his head in shame, his shoulders sagging with the burden he carried.  “ _So it seems you finally found out about your heritage in the future.  I’m sorry about your mother’s passing_.”

Gokudera was on the verge of shouting at his father for being a lying, cheating, bastard, and that he was full of shit because there was no way that a killer would feel remorse for their victim, but as he saw his father raise his hand upwards to signal his silence, Gokudera regretfully swallowed his words.  The look in his father’s eyes had a knowing glint to them that was filled with the stress of his secret and the sorrow of what he had said previously.  The silver-haired teen couldn’t help but be slightly taken aback at the emotions he saw.

“ _I know that you are a smart boy, Constantine_ ,” his father started again as he tried to express his thoughts on the matter, his eyes appearing to be burdened with regret.  “ _You should know why I kept the knowledge of your birth mother a secret from you_.  _It was to protect you from the cruel mafia laws and status that comes with being a quarter-bred child from an affair_.  _I was going to tell you when you were older, of course, but obviously that didn’t turn out so well_.”

Gokudera wasn’t going to correct his father by stating that he had heard the information about his true mother from a family maid.  It was a minor detail and it looked like his father wasn’t finished with his ‘excuses’ yet.

The silver-haired teen was right in his assumptions as the solemn look in his father’s pale-green eyes vanished to be replaced with hurt and disbelief.  “ _Now, with the last thing you said_ …” The older man started out, his voice becoming dangerously low once again.  “ _I have no idea where you heard the ludicrous idea about me killing off your birth mother but I can assure you that you are wrong in that assumption_.  _I didn’t kill her and I never **planned** on killing your mother, so obviously you are mistaken_.”

“ _Bull-fucking-shit_!” Gokudera screamed disbelievingly, insulted by the older man’s excuses.  “ _She was getting in your way so you saw no other choice but to kill her so that your **precious** secret wouldn’t get out_!”

There was an abrupt, thunderous, bang that echoed throughout the room as Gokudera’s father stood up and slammed his hands onto his desk, effectively cutting off Gokudera’s scathing words.  The cold, icy glare that his father was giving him felt like piercing daggers being thrown into his body, causing the silver-haired youth’s blood to run cold with dread and for his eyes to widen in shock and fear.  Was this the way his father was supposed to look at him when he was angry with him?  Gokudera had never imagined it being so bone-chilling.

“ _Don’t give me lip, young man_ ,” the grizzled-haired man ground out as he put his full weight onto his hands on his desk, making him look even more imposing then he had before.  “ _I would have you know that I fell in love with your mother at first sight_.  _Once I heard of her pregnancy, I threw all caution to the wind and proposed to her, not caring of what my men and my family would think of me or how it would screw up allied family relations_.  _But your mother refused my proposal on accounts of her illness_.  _She said that she was too week to marry or to even care for her child, because she could no longer work due to her decease_.  _The least I could offer her was a small quiet cottage on the outskirts of town and compensation for her medical bills and necessities_.  _Before, and still now after your birth, I continue to write letters to her and I allow her visitation rights on major holidays and birthdays so that she can at least see you_.  _Do you still honestly believe that I am your mother’s future killer_?!”

Gokudera was frozen in place as shock hit him once again.  He tried in vain to cover the surprise he felt from hearing his father’s words and how they correlated with what Bianchi had told him ten years in the future after the whole Byakuran fiasco.  Bianchi’s words almost matched his father’s words perfectly; almost **_too_** perfectly. 

Refusing to believe that his father was still telling him the truth and that he must have told Bianchi the same story since he knew that his beloved daughter would believe anything he said, Gokudera ground his teeth together as he tried to decide on what he wanted to do now.  He wasn’t a complete dumbass like his sister was when it came to their father, and he sure as hell didn’t want to stay here a moment longer.

Finally willing his body to move once again, the silver-haired bomber stiffly turned around and started walking towards the double doors to his right, mumbling a barely understandable ‘ _whatever_ ’ as he tried to exit the room in a disbelieving huff.  

Seeing his future son act like any pissy teenager with a troubled past would, the older man just sighed as he sat back down at his desk.  He knew full well that his son still didn’t believe him.  Even if the younger boy had believed what he said, the older man still had a feeling that his son still wouldn’t forgive him for the sins he had committed.

And he knew he deserved that.

As the young teen opened the double doors to exit out of the room, his father motioned for his men to wait (they had been making their way towards Gokudera to stop him) as he called out to his retreating son’s back.  “ _I can’t remember the exact details of how the Ten Year-Bazooka is supposed to work but I assume that since you just randomly popped up in the mansion some time ago, that you will go back to your present time again.  I suggest that you stay within the mansion and not run off like I feel you’re going to_.”

Gokudera went rigid in the middle of the doorway as his father’s words reached him.  With eyes burning with heated fire, the silver-haired teen whipped around so fast that it made his father’s men jump in surprise. His jade-green eyes glared dismissively towards the older man across the room as he said, “ _You’re not the boss of me_!”

Seemingly unperturbed by his son’s rapid change in mood (he must have been getting used to it and seemed to be expecting it now), Gokudera’s father gave his feisty son a knowing look before reminding him.  “ _Remember that if you run away from this mansion and switch back with your younger self that you would be subjecting your two-year-old self to wherever it is you decide to go_.  _Do you honestly expect a toddler to be able to handle the situation at hand if he randomly popped up in a forest or in the streets of a city that he doesn’t recognize_? _If you leave now you will certainly be setting your younger self up to be hurt, or worse, **killed**_.”

…

‘ _Fuck_!’ Gokudera swore internally as he gnashed his teeth together in frustration.  He had completely forgotten about his situation in all of his anger.  As he was reminded about what his dad had told him, the Vongola Storm Guardian couldn’t help but comment with a sneer.  “ _Wow, Old Man, I didn’t know that you cared_.”

Gokudera’s father just narrowed his eyes at his son’s attitude.  “ _Of course I care_.  _You are my son_.”

Those words were the final key to unlocking all of Gokudera’s inner turmoil and hatred.

“ _Son_? **_Son_**?!” Gokudera barely choked out the word, feeling like he was going to vomit just by saying it.  It didn’t take long for the anger he felt to build up inside of him until it was ready to burst. 

And burst it did. 

In a matter of seconds, Gokudera was able to find his voice again, his words flying from his mouth in screams of rage as his jade-green eyes glinted with notes of hysteria.  “ _When the fucking hell have you **ever** treated me as a son_?!  _I was only something for you to brag and showcase to your friends and the allied families_!  _You didn’t give a fucking **shit** about me_!  _You never listened to me when the other kids in the family bullied me, and you never comforted me when I was upset_!  _Hell, you even let my fucking sister **poison** me so that I would play the piano like a drunk fucking lunatic to impress your artsy friends_!  _What kind of father does that to his son_?!”

Everyone in the room was silent save for Gokudera’s hard breathing.  The silver-haired teen wasn’t looking at his father anymore as he tried to catch his breath from his massive rant, his hands balled up into shaking fists by his sides.  Once Gokudera was able to speak again it was far quieter than before, his voice coming out rough and gravelly as his voice shook with emotion.  The silver-haired teen hated how he could feel wetness prickling at his eyes. 

“ _You never cared_.  _You were always trying to make me out as some sort of angel; some sort of prodigy_.  _And hell, I was smarter and more talented than the rest of the stupid kids that lived in this mansion but you would always rub that in everyone’s face, not caring on how they would react towards me when you weren’t in the room_.  _You kept trying so hard to make me out as some amazing, perfect, child because you wanted to forget for just a moment about what I really was_.”  And with that, Gokudera stared straight into his father’s shame-filled eyes and shouted.  “ _All I was to you was a reminder of your **mistakes**_!”

Unable to stop the tears that were coming to his eyes, Gokudera promptly turned away and briskly walked out of his father’s office, slamming the double doors in his wake.

No one tried to stop him, not even his father.

* * *

 

It had been a little more than an hour since his dramatic exit from his father’s office and Gokudera didn’t know if he should feel embarrassment for getting so emotional near the end or if he should be irritated and pissed off that the Ten Year-Bazooka wasn’t sending him back yet.

Seeing as how his father had been right (the very thought made Gokudera want to blow everything up within the vicinity) in stating that it was unwise to leave the mansion, the silver-haired teen had decided to, instead, head to the complete opposite side of the mansion.  If this was the best way he could get as far away from his father as possible, then so be it. 

Once he had deemed himself a good enough distance away, Gokudera had taken refuge in a private lounge area that he remembered from his childhood.  Only the members of his family were allowed inside, so the silver-haired teen knew that he wouldn’t be disturbed…for the most part, anyway.

Currently, the feisty storm guardian was sitting at a small table near a huge bay window within the room; his head bent low with his silvery bangs covering his face.  One of his hands was balled into a fist upon the table while the other was placed to his forehead, shielding his eyes further from view.  Even with how badly he was trying to cover his face, if someone were to enter the room they would still see the pained scowl that stretched across his jaw and how his whole body shook with anger. 

Gokudera was also thankful that his stupid tears had stopped (he was surprised he had even began crying in the first place) but that didn’t stop the pain he felt as he remembered his unwelcome encounter with his dad.   There were so many times he just wanted to jump at the man and hurt him in any physically possible way that he could but whatever courage he had during their meeting had quickly vanished.  Even though the silver-haired teen had kept coaching himself on how he was going to react if he ever did see his father again (and he had hoped that he wouldn’t), all of his plans had vanished with just one look into his father’s eyes. 

He hated how the older man could control him so easily, and he hated it even more now since he was older and he **_still_** couldn’t face that horrible excuse for a man.  What the fuck was wrong with him?!  He had even started crying like a little child!  Now all that Gokudera was left with was his embarrassment, his frustrations, and painful memories of his childhood as he wallowed away in a remote corner of his father’s mansion while he waited to be sent back to his current time.

Since the world seemed to want to spite him more, whatever peace Gokudera had been trying to obtain from his solitude quickly shattered when he heard the doors to the lounge open and shut.  The silver-haired boy didn’t move, didn’t even flinch upon hearing the noise, and he sure has hell didn’t bother to look to see who it was.  At this point in time, he really didn’t care.

There was a small thud as Gokudera saw a small black sack placed before him, the sudden noise slightly surprising him.  The storm guardian didn’t change from his previous position but did look upon the random object in confusion, wondering why someone was bothering to show it to him.

The Italian bomber’s question was answered as a small feminine voice spoke up.  “ _Geez, it took me forever to find you, Constantine_!  _Daddy said that I was supposed to give you this and that it would help you understand something_.”

If it was possible, Gokudera’s body tensed up even more at the sound of his now six-year-old sister’s voice.  He didn’t dare respond or even look at her.  After all, he was pretty sure that she wasn’t wearing any protective eye gear.

Bianchi, of course, didn’t take kindly to being ignored.  The little girl puffed up her cheeks and stomped her foot down in irritation.  “ _Why aren’t you saying anything, Constantine_?  _Daddy said that you would be upset but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me_!  … _You actually look like Daddy when he’s angry or sad about something_.”

Gokudera made a strained choking noise at the sudden comparison.  It took every fiber of his control to not lash out and strangle the girl next to him, even though he knew it would probably do him a lot of good and save him from horrible, painful, stomach cramps in the future.  Just leave it to Bianchi to say something that would piss him off even more than what he was now.  It was bad enough that he shared half of his DNA with his father but now he had the man’s mannerisms.  Great!  That was just fucking **_great_**!

“ _Get…the hell…away from me_.” Gokudera barely ground out in his anger, his head bowing down even further at his newfound emotional burden.

Ignoring the obvious threat in her brother’s voice, Bianchi’s eyes narrowed at the sight of the wallowing boy before her.  “ _That’s no way to talk to your sister_!  _And after all the trouble I went through to find you and give you Daddy’s present_!”

Gokudera highly doubted that the sack that lay on the table in front of him was a ‘present’.  He was picking up serious déjà vu vibes from the ugly thing and it was actually starting to make him feel uncomfortable. 

Like a bolt of lightning, a memory flashed through Gokudera’s mind, his eyes widening as his heart seized painfully against his chest.  He had seen that black bag before!  It was the same one that Bianchi had shown him in the future after Byakuran had been defeated.  The one filled with his father’s love letters to his mother…

Gokudera was at a loss on what to do.  Should he read the letters?  If he did he could see if his father had been telling the truth back in the office.  Of course, his father could have been lying and just saying things in his letters as well to give his mother a false sense of love… 

As that last thought made his blood boil, the silver-haired bomber’s thoughts were interrupted by his very annoying little half-sister, “ _You know, Daddy told me that you were from the future_.  _Do I have a boyfriend in the future, Constantine_?”

The feisty Italian almost gagged at the gushy romantic voice Bianchi was using as she continued to state her wishes in a boyfriend which he, of course, continued to ignore.  He knew that he shouldn’t have been so surprised about how romance crazy his sister was but he hadn’t been expecting her to be acting this way at her current age.  Well, what did he know? Maybe all girls started fantasizing about boyfriends when they were six?  That seemed like a waste of time to him but he had never understood girls anyway.

Not really sure if Reborn actually counted as a boyfriend, Gokudera went with the next best answer.  “ _No_ ,” he grumbled out curtly, still refraining from looking at his sister.

Bianchi just pouted grumpily at the answer and complained.  “ _Nuh uh_!  _You’re lying to me_!”

Gokudera could only scoff in response as he slammed the hand he had been holding to his forehead down on the table.  “ _Well I don’t fucking care, so how about you leave me alone_!”

The magenta-haired girl gasped at her precious ‘little’ brother’s choice of words.  “ _You’re not supposed to say bad words, Constantine_!  _Why won’t you look at me_?  _Do you hate me or something_?”

There was no pause in his answer.  “ ** _Yes_**.”

Gokudera’s longed for silence finally entered the room with that single word.  He hoped that Bianchi would take the hint now and leave him alone.

Sadly, the world seemed to want to spite him some more, because Bianchi stayed and asked, “ _Why_?”

Gokudera tried to not be affected by the sadness in the little girl’s voice.  Okay, maybe hate was too strong of a word to describe what he felt for his sister.  It was more of a ‘strongly dislike’, instead.  Still, he wasn’t about to correct himself.  If he did and apologized then the irritating little witch wouldn’t leave him alone.  So, to distract himself, Gokudera reached for the black sack placed in front of him and started rifling through it, trying to find one of the letters with the earliest date.  He didn’t exactly want to read through the letters but he had to do something to make Bianchi go away.   If he looked busy, hopefully she would give him some space.

Seeing as her brother was going through their father’s present, Bianchi smiled a little and offered.  “ _How about I make you some tea to cheer you up_?  _You can drink it while you read_.”

It took all of Gokudera’s will power not to turn towards the magenta-haired girl and scream ‘No!’ into her face.  He sure as **_hell_** wasn’t going to be swallowing anything the poisonous little girl was going to give him.  So, instead, he went for yelling at her while staring down at the table in frustration.  “ _No way in hell_! _There’s no way I’m going to eat anything you give me_! _No cookies, no tea; **nothing**_!”

Now Bianchi was really confused.  The little girl turned her head to the side and asked. “ _Huh_?  _Why_?”

Gokudera tried to strangle the whine of frustration that leapt from his throat as he was bombarded with more questions.  How hard was it to just leave him alone?!  Practically slamming his head into the table before the black sack full of letters, the silver-haired teen mumbled out desperately.  “ _I-If you want me to like you then you have to stop forcing me to eat your cooking and leave me alone_.”

The little Italian girl just blinked up stupidly at her now older brother like he had just asked her to stop breathing.  Deciding that she was a little insulted by the suggestion, Bianchi huffed angrily and shouted out.  “ _What_? _No way_!  _Mommy told me that a way to a person’s heart is through their stomach_!  _How will I ever get anyone to like me if I can’t cook for them_?!”

The frustrated teen from the future resisted the urge to slam his head repeatedly against the table.  Who the hell taught this to their children?!  Oh yeah, that’s right, his crazy-ass step-mother.  Damn it, Bianchi and her mother were too much alike! 

Finally finding the strength to lift his head from the table, Gokudera angrily growled out, “ _Well, your mother is a lying bitch who doesn’t know her head from her ass_!  _She’s obviously full of shit_!  _Believe me, I’m from the future and if you want **anybody** to like you, I implore you to give up cooking this instant_.  _Everyone would be happier if you did_.”

Bianchi gaped at him like a fish out of water, completely taken aback by the rudeness of her precious brother.  “ _T-That’s an awful thing to say_!” The little girl yelled out, a deep frown marring her cute little face.  “ _I’m going to tell on you to Mommy for saying such awful things about her and for insulting my cooking_!  _She’s says I’m really good and Daddy’s proud of my cooking, too_!”

Gokudera just threw his hands up into the air in defeat, almost knocking the black bag full of letters off the table in the process.  “ _Fine_!  _Whatever_!  _I really don’t give a fuck, so just leave me alone already_!”

The six-year-old girl gasped in slight hurt again as her pale-green eyes narrowed at the now slouched form of her brother, who was grabbing at his hair in frustration.  “ _It makes me angry to know that my precious little brother becomes such a rude and un-thoughtful grouch like you in the future!  I vow, as your big sister, that I will improve my cooking abilities and make you eat my delicious food so that you will become a happier person instead of a giant jerk_!”

And with that, Bianchi finally showed herself out of the lounge doorway and away from Gokudera, stomping all the way and slamming the doors shut in her wake.  The silver-haired teen was just left there to wonder if he had, in fact, just made life for his younger self even worse than it had been before by firing Bianchi up like that. 

Hoping beyond hope that he hadn’t messed his life up even more, Gokudera quickly tried to distract his panic induced thoughts by grabbing the black sack and searching through the sea of letters once again.  He had to do something to pass the time anyway.

After finally organizing the letters by date, the silver-haired boy took a deep breath and delved into his father’s letters.  Even though he kept telling himself not to believe any of the words he was reading, the doubt he felt towards his father being the person who killed his mother escalated with every finished letter he read.  The story that his father had told him earlier that afternoon, and even the story that the Bianchi from the future had told him, matched up perfectly with each other and the letters in his hands. 

When he was finished reading the contents of the black bag, Gokudera could only stare at the papers before him in shock.  As much as his mind was screaming at him to forget everything he had just read and everything he had heard from his other family members and to just keep on believing that his father killed his mother, he couldn’t think that way anymore.  His father had written pleading letters to his mother to ask her to reconsider the marriage proposal and to come and live at the mansion, despite all the problems those actions would cause.  Since all of his father’s letters had been returned (how else would they be there now?) it was obvious that his mother had refused to respond along with refusing his father’s proposals, obviously thinking that it was best if she stayed out of their lives because of her sickness—no, her fatal illness.  It was clear now that his mother was killed by the disease that riddled her and not by the man that desperately wanted her by his side.

Gokudera held his head in his hands as he hunched over the lounge table at a complete loss with himself, the sun beginning to set and washing the room with a warm orange glow through the bay window beside him.  This whole time he had blamed his father for the death of his mother but it seemed that that wasn’t the case now. Everything pointed against that scenario. Now the next question was, ‘how was he was supposed to react around his father?’ Did he apologize or…

Wait!  Fuck no! He wasn’t going to do that! 

The silver-haired teen savagely berated himself for thinking of such a thing.  Yeah sure, so his father apparently wasn’t the cause of his mother’s death, and he did seem to genuinely care for her, but did that excuse his actions?  Did that excuse him for having an affair in the first place that resulted in his birth; a birth that would be looked down upon within his society and profession as a future hitman, thus already setting him up for ruin? Did that excuse the man for cheating on his arranged wife from an allied family?  Did that excuse him for still being a horrible father to him throughout most of his childhood?

The answer to those questions was a big, fat, **_no_**.

His father had messed up royally and now his son was the one to pay the price.  Because of his father he was made fun of and looked down upon.  Because of his father he wasn’t allowed to join other mafia syndicates until he met the Tenth.  Because of his father he had been alone most of his life!  Gokudera still hated the man.  He might have hated him a little less now, since it seemed that he hadn’t killed his mother, but the anger and frustration he felt towards the older man was still there flowing strongly through his veins.

As his blood pulsated within him with renewed hatred towards the man who had barely fathered him, Gokudera glared down at the love letters scattered across the table.  As his eyes fell on them, his body gradually calmed down to the point where he no longer felt anger; just exhaustion in its wake.  The sight of the letters had stirred more unwanted emotions within the troubled Italian teen, all of them pointing towards a single, painful, thought.

Yamamoto.

Just thinking of the other teen’s name was enough for Gokudera’s chest to seize in pain and for his breath to catch in his throat.  He hated himself for hurting the raven-haired teen so much but he knew it was for the best.  Spending most of the afternoon in his father’s mansion had only strengthened that belief. 

The mafia world was cruel and unforgiving, especially towards things that went against the normal human code; which a gay relationship definitely did.  There was no doubt in Gokudera’s mind that a situation would come up where the Tenth would have to marry some of his men off to other mafia families in order to win alliances.  If he was with Yamamoto at the time that happened then it would be unbelievably painful for both of them.  In fact, Gokudera was absolutely certain that if he had to be married off to another woman to appease negotiations and was forced to leave Yamamoto, the temptation to be with the other man would still be there.  He could imagine that feeling being so overpowering that he wouldn’t hesitate to cheat on his arranged wife, which would only put strain on his family and the allied family to the point of a possible, bloody fallout.

Wouldn’t that make him no better than his father?

The mere comparison to his father was enough to fully convince the silver-haired teen that it was better to leave Yamamoto now in order to save themselves from the more powerful heartache later on.  It was to the benefit of themselves, their family, and to possible allied families as well.  Severing their relationship was the best way, no, the **_only_** way to go!  He wasn’t going to be like his father!

With a slam of his fists onto the table, Gokudera vowed to himself that he would break off his relationship with Yamamoto after Christmas (he didn’t want to completely ruin the holiday for the raven-haired boy, after all, and he didn’t want to cause a scene with the Family as well).  He would make sure that Yamamoto got the hint and that he wouldn’t cause too much fuss after it was all said and done.  That way, their actions and behaviors wouldn’t bother the Tenth in any way!

Yes. Just like his mother, he was going to sacrifice his happiness and distance himself for the sake of his loved ones.

With that thought, the little bit of pride Gokudera felt for his plan was very short-lived, like a lit match blowing in the wind.  As the thought of being completely severed from Yamamoto hit him, Gokudera couldn’t help but dread their confrontation.  It was ideal to think that Yamamoto wouldn’t make a fuss but Gokudera new better than that; he wasn’t an idiot.  Breaking up with Yamamoto would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do and he was not looking forward to it in the slightest.  Hell, the mere thought of the stupid baseball player being married off to some other woman was downright infuriating and—

…

Gokudera let out a bitter laugh as his thoughts strayed back to wanting to keep Yamamoto by his side.  He was truly hopeless.  Even though he had the conviction to truly let Yamamoto go now (more than he had before with their misunderstanding), he still had feelings for the taller teen, and he was certain those wouldn’t be going away anytime soon.  A part of him didn’t want to go back to his time and face the certain heartache he knew he was going to inflict but, really, there was no helping it.

Wasn’t that funny?  The very thought of staying in his father’s mansion one more second made him sick to his stomach but so did the thought of actually returning to his time. He was screwed no matter what he did.  The very fact that he wanted to get rid of his and Yamamoto’s relationship but yet he still cared for the taller teen and wanted to be with him only proved that last thought more.

He was such a **_hypocrite_**.

The lamenting teen was broken out of his thoughts at the sound of something lightly landing onto the table.  Intrigued at the soft tapping sound, Gokudera peered down at the wooden surface of the table and noticed what looked to be small, round, wet marks scattered along the table top directly below him.  The silver-haired teen was confused for only a moment before he realized where the wet marks had originated from.

Gokudera could now distinctly feel the silent tears running down his face.

Hating himself for getting overemotional again, a choking sob emanated from the spiteful teen’s throat as the tears started to spill faster.  He hated his father, he hated this mansion, he hated the mafia, he hated Yamamoto for making him fall for him in the first place, and he hated everything that had to do with his life!

But, most of all, Gokudera hated the world for making him suffer.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's another chapter! This one has Yamamoto and Gokudera's mother in it, so I hope you guys like it! Also, for this chapter, I just want to say that, yes, I know that Gokudera's mother's name is Lavina, but during the time that I wrote this story (which was about...two or three years ago lol) I had no idea of this and thus, gave her a Japanese name. The only place that Gokudera's mother name was disclosed was in some character book in Japan that never made it over here, so the only way people can find that name is on a wiki page. I had no idea that a Reborn wiki page existed at the time I wrote this, so I'm sorry that Gokudera's mother's name isn't correct here, but I'm not changing everything I wrote just because of a bit of information I found out later. In a sense, since I make Gokudera have two names in this story, Lavina can have two names as well, and her Japanese name is a code name for her own safety. Just think of it like that XD  
> With that out of the way, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

****

Yamamoto didn’t know how long he had been staring because he seemed to have lost all sense of time as he took in the beautiful woman before him.  She looked so remarkably like Gokudera that the Japanese boy had to remind himself that the person in front of him was someone different; a more feminine version of his beloved Italian. 

The woman in turn, appeared very uncertain as she gazed up into Yamamoto’s eyes.  She wasn’t sure if she should call for help since the boy who was staring at her (it was starting to creep her out) hadn’t done anything yet.  She remembered that the boy had asked her if they knew each other but she was fairly certain she had never seen the tall, Japanese youth in all of her life. Apparently, that didn’t seem to be the case for the boy before her.  It looked like the taller teen recognized her in some way.

As the raven-haired teen continued to stare at the woman in awe, Yamamoto noticed a growing pain accumulating in his chest.  Realizing that he hadn’t breathed for the past minute, the Japanese teen took a deep breath and shook his head to clear his thoughts, his lungs grateful for the oxygen.  The woman’s appearance had been such a shock to him that he really couldn’t blame himself for his slight blunder.

It also didn’t help that the woman was breathtakingly beautiful, too.

Trying to ignore that last thought, Yamamoto remembered what he had come there to do.  Even though he had his suspicions about who the woman was, he had to know for certain.  As he prepared himself to ask his question, he couldn’t help but notice the uncertainty in the silver-haired woman’s stare.  Feeling bad for his previous and slightly creepy actions, Yamamoto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly as he said, “Haha, sorry if I scared you.  It’s just that you really look like someone I know.”

The long-haired woman relaxed at Yamamoto’s change in behavior but only slightly.  She still felt unsure.  The look that the taller teen had given her before had unnerved her; it was like he was looking through her and seeing someone else in her place. 

“Excuse me,” The woman asked hesitantly as she looked the taller teen over again to make sure that she didn’t recognize him.  “But do you know me?  I’m certain that you asked that a moment ago, and you look as if you do.”

Yamamoto could feel his body tense up and goosebumps form on his skin as he heard the silver-haired woman speak for the first time.  It was light, feminine, and had such a melodious ring to it that it was captivating to hear.  She didn’t sound like Gokudera but the way she spoke, the part that made Yamamoto wish to hear her more, reminded him yet again of his lover.

“Haha, like I said, you remind me of someone.  I know I’ve never met you personally but…” Yamamoto paused, his own hesitancy showing as he asked the woman what he had been dying to ask for a while now.  “Would you happen to be the mother of Gokudera Hayato?”

The woman’s reaction to the question was not what Yamamoto was expecting.  As his hopeful gaze met the silver-haired woman’s once again, the uncertainty in her features drastically morphed into fear as she defensively backed herself into the couch like she was trying to escape.

Before he could ask what was wrong, the beautiful woman questioned in a shaking voice, “H-How do y-you know that name?!”

Yamamoto just blinked stupidly at the question.  Had he been wrong?  Was this woman not Gokudera’s mother?  He could have sworn he had heard that waiter call her by that last name…

Seeing that the Japanese boy was obviously confused by her question, the woman elaborated.  “Th-The only people who know that name are my son’s father and myself.”

Still confused by what the woman was saying, Yamamoto pressed on, wondering if he had heard the woman right.  “So…you **_are_** Gokudera’s mother?”

There was a short pause as the silver-haired woman’s gaze bored into his hazel-eyes as if she was searching for something.  Yamamoto was a little uncomfortable by the piercing glare but he assumed that the lady found what she was looking for because she finally responded.  “If you want to be technical then, yes, I am Gokudera Hayato’s mother.”

Even though he had finally received his answer, Yamamoto still felt lost on what to do.  He felt relieved that he had been right in guessing who the woman was, and he also felt extremely lucky about being able to meet her, but, judging from how uncomfortable the silver-haired woman looked right then, he knew he still had to tread lightly.

“I still don’t understand how you know that name,” Gokudera’s mom spoke up again in suspicion as she still looked upon Yamamoto in slight fright.  “Did you search down my son’s birth certificate?  That’s the only documentation for him with that name.”

Yamamoto gave another sheepish laugh as he tried to figure out how to explain himself now without causing the woman to be afraid of him more.  After all, it’s not like he could tell her he was from the future.  “Um…no…”

The silver-haired woman’s eyes widened in shock at the Japanese boy’s reply, her mind reeling on how it was possible for the teen to know her son’s Japanese name without reading the birth certificate. 

“But…” The half-bred Italian woman started out in surprise, her eye’s imploring Yamamoto’s for an answer.  “The father of my son would never tell you his Japanese name!  He calls our son by an Italian name to ensure his safety from disownment within the mafia.  Even our son doesn’t know of his second name!  I don’t see why the father of my son would divulge that name to you if it would only ruin our plans of protecting Hayato…you **_had_** to have gotten access to our son’s birth certificate…”

Yamamoto continued to blink in astonishment as he processed the beautiful woman’s words.  This was the first time he had heard about Gokudera having two names. 

“Gokudera…has an Italian name?” Yamamoto asked in slight surprise before an excited smile spread across his face.  “Haha, that’s pretty cool! So what is his Italian name?”

Gokudera’s mother opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out in her shock as Yamamoto gave her an innocent and expectant look.  What the Japanese teen had said hadn’t made any sense at all!

Feeling even more afraid of who was in front of her now, the silver-haired woman exclaimed, “How can you know my son’s Japanese name and not his Italian one?!  Are you playing with me?!” As her eyes narrowed in anger, the woman couldn’t help but ask a question that had been plaguing her since Yamamoto had asked of her lineage to her precious son.  “You’re a spy, right?  You’re someone who was sent by a rival family to dig up secrets about my son and his father because you know I was unprotected, right?”

Seeing how worked up Gokudera’s mother was being, Yamamoto desperately tried to calm her down.  If he remembered correctly, she was supposed to be sick, so it probably wouldn’t do her any good to get very excited.  “Ah, no, no, I’m not a spy!” The taller boy exclaimed with a hesitant laugh as he brought his hands up in a placating manner.  “I know your son’s other name because I’m a friend of his!”

If it was possible, more concerned etched itself onto the older woman’s face as Yamamoto’s explanation rang through the air.  Now, nothing seemed to make sense. 

“How is that possible?!” The silver-haired woman shouted in confusion as she clutched at her arms in fear of the boy before her.  Who exactly was he?  “I told you that our son doesn’t even know that he has a Japanese name!  Not to mention, our son is two while you’re obviously an older teenager.  How could you two be friends when your ages are so far apart?  Do you even speak Italian?!”

“Um…” Yamamoto let out pathetically, swallowing heavily upon figuring out that he had just backed himself into a corner.  How could he explain himself now without divulging that he was from the future?  It didn’t help that the older woman was asking him questions in a foreign language now (she must have been very panicked by that point), so he didn’t even know where to begin in answering her questions.  All he could do was stare at her with a lost and confused look on his face until she figured out that he wasn’t going to be responding back to her in Italian. 

Yamamoto was beginning to wonder if this woman was just as difficult as her son.

It was here that Gokudera’s mother realized that the tall, Japanese boy looked as genuinely confused as she felt while she continued to rattle off questions in Italian.  Realizing that the boy probably wasn’t going to respond and that he didn’t know the language, she stopped her questioning and gazed at the teen in worry.  If he didn’t understand Italian then how on earth was he a friend of her son?  Even her son’s birth certificate was in Italian, so if the teen before her really didn’t know the language, then how come he knows her son’s Japanese name when only her son’s father, her, and possibly even the doctor (What was his name again? Sham-something?) that had helped her give birth only know the name?

Seeing the pensive look cross the silver-haired woman’s face, Yamamoto saw his opportunity to explain; which he wasn’t looking forward to.  He saw no other alternative but to tell the woman the truth but, of course, there was the possibility that by telling her he was from another time he would only worsen the situation, and that she would call for help, thinking he was crazy and possibly dangerous. 

With hesitant yet hopeful eyes, Yamamoto peered into the older woman’s irises, his body language cool and calming much like the rain he symbolized.  He hoped that the rain flames he was emanating from his body would somehow reach Gokudera’s mother in the hopes of calming her down somewhat. 

“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you,” The taller teen started out, his voice pausing for a second in hesitation before he gathered his courage and continued.  “I…I really do have an explanation for everything but, haha, I’m afraid you won’t believe me!”

Gokudera’s mother didn’t answer but she calmed somewhat upon seeing the boy rub the back of his head sheepishly again, a friendly smile now adorning his face.  She found herself slowly beginning to feel that the Japanese boy didn’t mean her any harm but she was still uncertain of what his objective was.

Yamamoto noticed the silent plead in the older woman’s eyes to continue and so he did, the sheepish look never leaving his face as he shyly glanced her way.  “Um…would you believe me if I said I was from the future…?”

Silence was the taller teen’s only answer as the silver-haired woman’s eyes widened in shock, then confusion, and then trepidation as she practically welded herself to the back of the couch to get as far away as from Yamamoto as possible.  The future?  As much as she would like to believe that, there was no possible way, right?  Was he crazy?!

Noticing the startled look on the woman’s face, Yamamoto frantically went into explanation mode.  “Ah!  You see, in the mafia world there’s this thing called the Ten Year-Bazooka which can send you ten years forward in time!  But, well, it kind of malfunctioned and sent me back in time more than ten years, so that’s why I’m here.”  With that, the still ever hopeful Japanese boy waited to see the woman’s response, slightly bracing himself for the woman to start screaming that there was a crazy man in the restaurant.

“The…Ten Year-Bazooka?” Gokudera’s mother asked, uncertain if she had heard that right but her eyes lighting up in slight recognition nonetheless.  After she received a hesitant nod from Yamamoto in confirmation, her eyes widened even further in awe and disbelief.  “H-Hayato’s father didn’t tell me much about his mafia life but he told me about the plans for that bazooka being made.  He shared that bit of information with me because…well…he found out that I was interested in time travel and science fiction.”

Yamamoto couldn’t stop the gentle smile that spread across his face at the woman’s words.  He smiled even more when he noticed how she averted her eyes from him and blushed in embarrassment at her admittance.  At that, Yamamoto couldn’t help but laugh.  “Haha, that’s cool!  Gokudera loves sci-fi stuff, too!”

“R-Really?” Gokudera’s mother asked cautiously, like she was still unsure if she should believe what the raven-haired teen was saying.  After a strained moment where she tried to figure out if she should feel wary about Yamamoto or feel happy about her son possibly sharing another interest with her (when she visited, they only played the piano), the silver-haired woman finally asked.  “Are you **_really_** from the future?”

Yamamoto chuckled at that and gave the doubtful woman his most calming and assuring expression while he placed his hands behind his head in a carefree manner.  “Yeah, I am!  It’s like you said; how else would I know about Gokudera’s name if I didn’t know he had an Italian name?  That’s impossible, right?”

There was a moment of pause before Gokudera’s mother nodded her head in acceptance and patted the seat on the couch next to her for Yamamoto to sit down, her eyes shining with intrigue. Really, what else could she believe?  

Laughing happily at the situation and the calmer air that surrounded the silver-haired woman, Yamamoto made his way up to her and held out his hand.  “Sorry. With everything else going on I forgot to introduce myself.  I’m Yamamoto Takeshi!”

Gokudera’s mother gave the taller boy a slightly cautious but gentle smile in return as she took his hand in hers.  “Gokudera Kazumi.”

Yamamoto smiled at that, noting that, based upon the characters used, the woman’s name possibly translated into ‘beautiful harmony’.  Feeling the woman’s silent and questioning eyes on him, Yamamoto quickly took the offered seat next to Gokudera’s mother.  He decided that he should further explain his connection to Gokudera and their role in the mafia to her so that she would believe him more.

“I’ve been Gokudera’s friend for a long time now…” Yamamoto started out as he faced the beautiful woman beside him with an affectionate smile, his eyes somewhat distant as he talked about the person he cared for most.  “I met him my first year in middle school when he transferred over from Italy.  From there, even though we had a very rocky start, we became friends through a mutual friend who was training to take over the Vongola Family as the tenth head.  Right now, we have been initiated into the Vongola Family as the Tenth Generation Guardians, even though we are still not officially taking over the family until we’re out of college, or unless something happens to the Ninth.”  It was here that Yamamoto’s eyes regained their focus as he gave Gokudera’s mother a goofy smile.  “I’m not really for the whole mafia thing, but Tsuna wants to turn it into a…what’s it called…a vigilante group?  Well, what I’m getting at is that he wants to help those in need.  We all know it’s going to be difficult to change the Vongola, but that’s what our group is going to strive for.  Besides, I owe Tsuna my life, so I would never leave him in the first place, haha!”

Gokudera’s mother could only stare in astonishment at the load of information explained to her, completely enraptured with the idea of her son helping people in need instead of the whole bloody, black-market, kind of vibe the regular mafia was known for.  She could feel herself relaxing even further as some of her motherly worries were put to rest.  With all the information Yamamoto had shared with her, it was hard not to believe that he was her son’s friend from the future. 

“I’m sorry for doubting you earlier,” The woman spoke shyly as she slightly shifted her eyes away out of embarrassment, returning her gaze to Yamamoto’s only after she had resolved herself to ask another question.  “If you don’t mind, could you tell me how my son is doing now in the future?  D-Does he have any other hobbies that he likes besides science fiction?”

Yamamoto gave a sad smile at the questions as he noted the almost desperate look in the silver-haired woman’s eyes.  It must be hard for her to not know too much about the son she hardly ever got to see.  “Gokudera’s…pretty interesting, haha,” Yamamoto laughed, trying to lighten the mood again as another endearing smile spread across his face.  “He’s very smart.  He loves studying and reading books, and he constantly helps Tsuna and me with our homework, haha!  Gokudera’s also came up with his own language, too!  He loves to crack codes, so the books he always reads are science fiction or detective novels.  He also loves cats, so I have to constantly stop him from bringing strays home with him. Haha, his cat, Uri, doesn’t like them too much!”

As the raven-haired teen continued to rattle off what Gokudera liked to do, the Italian teen’s mother couldn’t help but smile at the mention of his hobbies, noting that they were very similar to her own. 

“Gokudera also likes to create explosives and he tends to use them a lot on people that irritate him.  I have to constantly put them out, haha!”

The silver-haired woman’s smile quickly disappeared to be replaced with a look of alarm.  Had she heard that correctly?!

“He also has a tendency to smoke cigarettes but I’ve been slowly weaning him off those, so there’s nothing to worry about!”  It was here that Yamamoto noticed the worry-stricken look on Kazumi’s face.  Feeling a little apprehensive, the taller teen went on to explain her son’s personality as he continuously rubbed the back of his neck and averted his eyes. He had no idea why he was feeling ashamed of what he was about to tell Gokudera’s mother but he knew that she had the right to know. “Um…heh, Gokudera can be a bit violent.  He’s, well, he **_was_** pretty anti-social to begin with but he’s slowly come out of his shell around Tsuna and the rest of the family.  Gokudera has always been wary of people, and I’m pretty sure that will never change, but, he definitely has trust issues when it comes to others.  It took him almost two years to even start trusting me and even now...” 

The woman’s eyes only became more worried as she witnessed Yamamoto’s eyes darken, the hazel orbs shaking with hurt and uncertainty.

“…Even now, I’m certain that Gokudera doesn’t trust me.  Not completely, despite everything we’ve been through.  He can be so closed off to people sometimes because of how easily he gets hurt.  He hasn’t even played the piano for—what was it?  Eight years now?—because he’s hurt by his memories of you.”

Yamamoto gave a dismissive laugh at that as he glanced back towards Gokudera’s mother to give her an apologetic look.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.  I’ve just been so caught up with Gokudera acting so depressed lately that I guess I just had to let it all out.  I know that’s the last thing a mother want’s to hear about her son, so I’m sorry if I’m worrying you.”

With a sad smile, the silver-haired woman just shook her head.  “No, don’t apologize.  I’m glad you’re telling me this.”  There was a short pause as Gokudera’s mom looked out towards the restaurant, subconsciously vocalizing her inner thoughts.  “I wish I could be a little stronger.  Then I could fight my illness and actually have the time to get to know my son.”

The raven-haired teen could feel guilt overcome him as he witnessed the mother’s lament.  He felt that he should have controlled his words more instead of just saying what was on his mind.  Before Yamamoto could guilt trip himself even more, though, he felt a hand come to rest on his knee.  Surprised at the feeling, he turned to see Gokudera Kazumi staring back at him with worry still clouding her soft, pretty, eyes.

“From what you said earlier, it sounds like I do die sometime in the future like I expect.” The petite pianist murmured gently, her hand unconsciously tightening around Yamamoto’s knee.  “Do…Do you know when I’m supposed to die, Yamamoto-san?”

At first, Yamamoto was a little taken aback by the respectful tone Gokudera’s mother was using to say his name but, once he heard the question, all thoughts of correcting her to use something more casual came to an abrupt end.  Was he really supposed to tell her that?  A chibi-version of Gokudera was screaming in his head that telling her the date of her death went against some sort of time-travelers code; obviously he had picked a couple things up from all those sci-fi movies he was forced to watch (well, he made Gokudera watch sports movies, so he guessed it made them even). 

Shaking away his thoughts, Yamamoto felt that the older woman at least had the right to know, so with a solemn look, the spikey-haired athlete responded, “Yes.”

There was another short pause as the two people on the couch stared at each other, the silver-haired woman’s eyes widening in slight shock as the taller boy beside her looked upon her sadly.  It wasn’t long until the shocked expression on the woman’s face melted away to be replaced by one of sad acceptance, a knowing smile crossing her features.

“Please don’t tell me the date, Yamamoto-san,” Gokudera’s mother asked kindly as she took her hand off the other boy’s knee.  “I would like to live out the rest of my life to the fullest without being tied down by a due date.”

As the older woman sent a gentle smile his way, Yamamoto couldn’t help but return it as he nodded his head in understanding.  He could feel the deep respect he had for his boyfriend’s mother increase as a happier look crossed her features, her soft eyes alit with new life.

“There has to be something I can do!” Gokudera Kazumi offered as she folded her hands together with a look of determination crossing her face.  “Even though I’m no longer alive in your time, Yamamoto-san, there still has to be some way that I can help my son.  You said he was depressed, right?”

Yamamoto averted his eyes sorrowfully, a frown quickly replacing his smile at the reminder of his troubled lover.  “Yeah, it’s like…it’s like he’s trying to run away from something and every time I try to help him he puts up a wall and tries to run away faster.  I don’t know what to do.  Gokudera feels so far away from me now.  I wonder if there’s any way—”

Suddenly, an idea popped into Yamamoto’s head and brought his usual smile back onto his face.  With excitement flowing through his veins once again, the raven-haired teen grabbed onto Kazumi’s shoulders, surprising the sickly woman who hadn’t expected such an abrupt change in mood (truthfully, she preferred the excited looking Yamamoto over the droopy looking one).

“Maybe there is something you can do!” Yamamoto exclaimed happily, his hazel-eyes shining with such enthusiasm that Gokudera’s mother didn’t mind the iron grip the taller boy had on her shoulders.  “We’re having this Secret Santa exchange for Christmas, and I’m supposed to buy Gokudera a gift but I couldn’t find one.”

Curiosity filled the older woman’s eyes as she gently unhooked the overexcited teen’s hands from her shoulders (they were beginning to hurt).  “Why couldn’t you find a present?  Surely, there were plenty of options since you know his likes and hobbies?”

An awkward silence hung in the air as Yamamoto’s hands retreated back from the silver-haired woman’s hold, the taller teen’s eyes darkening with hurt and slight confusion.  “Gokudera and I had a… ** _misunderstanding_** some weeks ago.” Yamamoto mumbled out morosely as he turned away from Gokudera’s mother, a look of shame crossing his features briefly before being overtaken by a troubled expression.  “No matter what I looked at for a gift, nothing seemed to be good enough; not as an apology or for Gokudera himself.  I wanted the gift to be perfect...”

Gokudera’s mother blinked a couple times before a slow, understanding smile found its way to her lips.  “Hayato must mean a lot to you, Yamamoto-san.”

A small blush spread across Yamamoto’s cheeks at the woman’s statement, the reddish hue almost unnoticeable due to his darker skin color.  “He does,” the tall baseball player admitted without any hesitance as he continued to avert his eyes from the woman next to him.  That didn’t stop her from noticing the longing in his eyes and the small affectionate smile that adorned his lips as he continued to speak, though.  “Gokudera’s my best friend.  I…I can’t even begin to imagine a life without him.  We’ve been around each other for so long now and we’ve faced so many difficulties together…”

There was a short silence before Yamamoto finally faced Gokudera’s mother, a look of pure determination on his face. “I know I’m asking a lot from you so suddenly like this but if there is any way you can part with something—I mean, I can’t think of a more perfect gift to give Gokudera than a memento from his mother!  Is there anything you can think of that you could willingly give away?”

The older woman could only blink in shock for a moment before she asked, almost unsure if she had heard correctly.  “A… memento from me?”

Now the blush on Yamamoto’s face became more prominent as he shyly nodded his head.  “Y-Yeah…I think…I think Gokudera would really like it.  I don’t think he has anything of yours besides his memories of you and the piano—but that’s back at his dad’s place, I think.”

Yamamoto could already imagine it; the look on Gokudera’s face when he opened his Christmas present and read the note that would explain his gift (Yamamoto thought of writing one later).  The feisty Italian’s eyes would well-up cutely with tears of gratitude and he would gaze down on his new gift and then back at Yamamoto with so much love that all their past differences and arguments would be erased.  Gokudera would then fly into the raven-haired teen’s awaiting arms where he would be met with a loving embrace and a passionate kiss.

As the raven-haired teen went off into his own little world, Kazumi could only laugh at the taller boy’s day-dreamy expression; his whole face looking pleasantly dazed as he thought about his precious Gokudera.  Yamamoto was so lost in the throes of his unrealistic fantasy that he hadn’t heard the silver-haired woman’s quite giggles. 

Not wanting to interrupt whatever he was thinking about, Gokudera’s mother thought hard on Yamamoto’s request.  What did she have on herself at the moment or in her luggage that she could possible part with and give to her son?  She felt a little conflicted as an idea for a gift came to her but, feeling the strongest urge to help the boy beside her and her future son, the older woman nodded to herself determinedly before grabbing Yamamoto’s attention.

After gently shaking the taller teen from his dazing stupor—Yamamoto felt embarrassment for outright **_fantasizing_** , about the woman’s son while he was sitting right next to her and in mid-conversation—the silver-haired woman took a ring from her finger and offered it to the Japanese boy.  “How about this, Yamamoto-san?  This is the promise ring that Hayato’s father gave to me when I was pregnant with our son.”

Yamamoto’s eyes widened in shock as he glanced down at the ring offered to him.  A promise ring?  He couldn’t take that from her!  Besides, it was…

Feeling a little uneasy about the whole idea, Yamamoto gently took ahold of Kazumi’s hand and closed her fingers around the ring in her palm.  “Um, I don’t think…” The raven-haired boy started hesitantly, trying to find the proper words to turn the woman’s offer down as politely as he could.

Noticing the boy’s uncertainty, Gokudera’s mother turned her eyes away; feeling embarrassment for the offer in the first place as she quickly realized what was wrong with her idea.  “Oh my, I didn’t take things into consideration at all!  A ring would be too… ** _girly_** , wouldn’t it?”

“Ah, no, Gokudera-san, that’s not it!” Yamamoto exclaimed desperately.  He didn’t want Gokudera’s mother to feel bad for actually trying to help him. “Gokudera actually likes to wear rings.” The tall teen went on to continue; conveniently leaving out the fact that the rings were probably something she would disapprove of if she saw them. He couldn’t imagine an innocent and refined looking woman approving of punk jewelry.  “It’s the part about the ring being from his father that concerns me.”

Kazumi gave Yamamoto a perplexed look.  She didn’t understand what the dark-haired teen was getting at.  “Does…Hayato not like his father?”

Yamamoto’s eyes narrowed, the color of his eyes darkening at the seriousness of the question.  “That’s an understatement.”

As the silver-haired woman’s face was overcome with grief by his answer, the raven-haired teen could feel the guilt build up in him once again.  He hated that he was causing Gokudera’s mother pain but he knew that he couldn’t lie to her either. It just wasn’t in him to lie to the person who his lover cared so much for, the person who had the same face as his beloved bomber. 

Before Yamamoto could feel too much guilt over his answer, the older woman spoke up again, her voice laced with sadness as she took in the taller teen’s guilt ridden face.  “I know that Hayato’s father hasn’t made the best decisions concerning our son’s upbringing because of the decisions I have made, but there’s nothing much I can do about that now.  As much as I want to go back in time and change things, I can’t.  I made my decision to stay away from the people I love because of my illness and because I knew that they would be safer without me interfering with their lives **_more_** than I already have.”

It was here that Kazumi took Yamamoto’s hand in hers and placed her promise ring in his palm.  “That’s why, more than anything, I want to help my son since I was hardly there for him; because I’m the one that has hurt him with my absence, and because I’m most likely the reason behind the rift between my son and his father.  So please, this ring means as much to me as my son does.  Please, give it to him.”

In that moment, Yamamoto felt confliction arise within him as he held the ring in his hand and as the silver-haired woman eyed him pleadingly.  His gut was telling him that this wasn’t a good idea but his heart wanted to believe that the ring could help Gokudera and him with whatever problem that was tearing them apart. 

After what felt like an eternity of glancing back and forth between the ring and the woman awaiting his answer, Yamamoto still felt unsure of what to do.

Seeing how troubled he was, Kazumi gently noted.  “I believe that this gift will be perfect for Hayato.  Have a closer look at the ring and you will see why.”

A little curious now, Yamamoto did as he was told and brought the ring closer into his field of vision, holding the delicate, circular metal between his thumbs and forefingers as he inspected it like he was asked.  Yamamoto was quick to note on his closer inspection that the ring was of very high quality.  He was no expert on jewelry but even he knew, just by looking at it, that the ring was very expensive.  It was made of shining silver with intricate carvings of roses and circular vines upon the surface of the entire ring.  The curving, thorny-looking vines were laced with, what looked to be, tiny emeralds and the roses with fine, miniscule, diamonds.  When caught in the light, the miniature jewels would sparkle and gleam and it was here, after putting it up to one of the dim lights in the restaurant that Yamamoto noticed the writing engraved across the middle of the ring.  He hadn’t noticed it before because the words were just engraved in the metal of the ring and not decorated with any sort of stone like the vines and roses that encased them.  In the light, with the glittering jewels surrounding the silver words, Yamamoto could read, ‘I’ll love you forever.’ engraved around one half-of the ring, the other half made up of the roses and vines.

Kazumi smiled as she witnessed the awe-struck look that overcame the taller boy’s face as he inspected the ring between his fingers.  He thought it was beautiful now?  Wait until he actually got under better lighting then the dimly-lit restaurant they were in. Now that was a sight to see!  As those thoughts surfaced to the forefront of her mind, the silver-haired woman smiled knowingly before interrupting Yamamoto’s gawking.  “Do you see why it would be a perfect gift, Yamamoto-san?”  Surely he had found the words on the ring by now even with the poor lighting?

Yamamoto was so enraptured with the ring that he had completely forgotten that there was a reason behind him looking at the ring in the first place.  As the silver-haired woman’s question reached his ears again, the raven-haired athlete was quick to figure out the answer that Gokudera’s mother was looking for.  Facing the beautiful woman beside him again, Yamamoto replied back with his eyes shining in understanding.  “It’s because Gokudera would know that you would love him forever, right?”

The older woman gave a congratulatory smile in return, her irises dancing with happiness.  “Yes, even when I’m no longer in this world, and even though I decided to stay away from him, with that ring my son will always know how much I care for him.  But that’s not all.”  Yamamoto stared at Kazumi in confusion for a moment before she continued.  “The promise in that ring will not only be mine but yours as well.  That way, we will both be able to express how much we love Hayato and tell him that our feelings towards him will never change.”

“W-Wha—!” Yamamoto exclaimed in slight surprise as a prominent blush flourished onto his cheeks. The ring would express his love?! When had Gokudera’s mother figured out his feelings for her son?!  “How?! W-When did you—”

Yamamoto’s frazzled speech was cut short by the silver-haired woman’s laughter as she held a dainty hand up to her mouth, her eyes closed in mirth.  After she gained control of her breathing again, the older woman opened her eyes and looked towards Yamamoto again, a mischievous look on her face.  If the raven-haired teen wasn’t so surprised and frightened at the idea of Gokudera’s mother knowing about their relationship, he would have found the mischievous look on her face to be rather cute since it resembled Gokudera’s almost exactly.  The only thing that was different was that it wasn’t condescending like Gokudera’s usually was.

“To be honest,” Kazumi answered Yamamoto’s unfinished questions, the look of mischievousness and satisfaction never leaving her face.  “I just found out right now with how you reacted but I had a feeling from earlier on in our conversation.  You don’t seem to realize how much emotion you put into your eyes when you talk about Hayato.  You’re eyes became so endearing and loving when you were telling me about what he liked, and they became so broken and concerned when you told me about Hayato’s current predicament.  How could I not come to the conclusion that you loved him?”

Yamamoto was rendered completely speechless by the beautiful woman’s words.  All he could do was stare at her in utter bafflement.  She had figured all that out by just observing him?  If she had figured it out, did that mean that other people had as well?  His father, Tsuna, his friends; had they all noticed it too just by looking at him?!

Noticing the panic on the taller boy’s face, Kazumi quickly jumped in as if she had read the other teen’s mind.  “Don’t worry, Yamamoto-san!  Even though it’s obvious to me that the emotions you feel towards my son are strong, that doesn’t mean that everybody else has noticed it, too.  It’s just a mother’s intuition.”

Despite the beautiful woman’s reassuring smile, Yamamoto couldn’t stop his blush from reddening further as he looked away in shame.  “You’re…not disgusted, are you?”  The taller teen hesitantly asked, afraid of what the older woman’s answer would be.  He didn’t know what he’d do if Gokudera’s mother disapproved of him and his relationship with her son since the silver-haired bomber held her in such high esteem and he was beginning to regard her in that way as well.

Yamamoto was startled out of his inner musings at feeling a hand on his shoulder.  Quickly turning towards its source, the athlete’s eyes were met with the sight of Gokudera Kazumi, the reassurance in her eyes never wavering.  “How could I be disgusted?”  The beautiful half-Italian woman responded with a light squeeze to his shoulder.  “I might have been a little wary at first since it’s not exactly…natural, you know, and since I just met you but…I can honestly say that I’m not disappointed in your relationship with my son.  You’re intentions are very easy to read Yamamoto-san, since you don’t try to hide them.  I can tell that you really care for my son, so what decent mother wouldn’t want her son to be happy and to be loved genuinely by another?  I want what’s best for Hayato, and I can tell that you are a truly good person at heart, Yamamoto-san.”

The raven-haired teen was struck speechless yet again because he never expected to be accepted so easily.  Out of embarrassment, Yamamoto shyly looked away from his boyfriend’s mother, his blush practically radiating off of his face out of happiness.  The silver-haired woman couldn’t help but giggle at how cute her taller companion looked and offered another thought that she had been pondering for the past couple minutes. 

“Why don’t I write a letter for Hayato as well?  There are a couple things that I would like to say to him since he’s old enough to understand in your time.  What do you think, Yamamoto-san?”

Yamamoto stuttered uselessly for a little bit before nodding his head in assent.  “I-I think that would be a great idea!” The Japanese teen exclaimed happily in appreciation.

Gokudera’s mother just smiled in return as she held her hand up.  A minute or so later, a receptionist made their way over to them from the front desk nearby. 

“What can I do for you, Gokudera-sama?”  The polite, suited man asked as he bowed out of respect.

“Could you please get me some writing paper and a pencil, please?”

“Certainly, Madame.  Please wait a moment.”

As the receptionist headed towards the front desk again while Gokudera’s mother smiled pleasantly at his retreating back, Yamamoto couldn’t help but wonder out loud, “You know…I never asked you, but why are you here in this hotel anyway?  You’re part Italian, right?  I assumed that you lived in Italy since that’s where you met Gokudera’s dad.”

The silver-haired woman blinked a couple times in astonishment at the question but responded back with a smile.  “I do live in Italy, actually.  I’m just vacationing in Tokyo for a bit to visit my parents.  My father is the head of a large hotel chain and one of his friends is the head of the restaurant here in his hotel.  He said that their regular scheduled pianist fell ill suddenly and they asked me if I would be able to fill in for her.  I haven’t played the piano in so long due to how tired I easily get now, so I agreed as long as they allowed for me to take frequent breaks so that I wouldn’t overexert myself.”

“Oh…” Yamamoto stated in a slightly stunned manner before he laughed and rubbed the back of his head.  “Haha, well I guess that makes sense!  I’m really lucky that I ran into you then!”

Gokudera’s mother laughed at that.  “Yes, this is quite the chance encounter!”

It was here that the receptionist returned with a couple sheets of writing paper and pencil, which he handed over to the silver-haired woman before leaving with another bow.  Kazumi gave Yamamoto an apologetic look before saying that she would try not to take so long in writing her letter but she had a lot to say and that she was sorry for making him wait for her.  Yamamoto, of course, really didn’t have a problem with it but he couldn’t help but worry about when the bazooka would be sending him back.  He had the ring in his possession but if he had the letter besides, it would really complete his gift and give it more authenticity.

He could only hope that the bazooka could hold out a little longer and offer him and Gokudera’s mother time to complete their ‘perfect’ gift.

* * *

 

Twenty hair-wrenchingly nervous minutes passed, each minute filled with uncertain scribbling and erasing from the silver-haired woman’s pencil and thorough re-readings of her letter before said letter was deemed present-worthy for her son.  As Yamamoto held the parchments of paper that consisted of the finished letter in his hand, a feeling of absolute joy filled him.  Despite knowing that the ring was from Gokudera’s father, the taller teen had the feeling that Gokudera would absolutely love his present and that it would be cherished for years to come.  Yamamoto just had a feeling!

“Thank you so much, Gokudera-san,”  Yamamoto choked out as he gazed into the other woman’s eyes, his voice thick with so much gratitude that his hands were starting to shake; one holding the letter and the other clutching the ring tightly.  “You’re giving up so much, I—”

“No, it’s nothing, really.” Gokudera’s mother interrupted gently, a reassuring smile appearing over her lips once again.  “It’s like you said, my son does deserve a memento from his mother.  It sounds like in the future that my son only has my memory and the piano in the mansion to remember me by, so I can only wonder what happened to my personal belongings.  I get the feeling that if I keep my ring that something horrible will happen to it or that it will get damaged in some way.  So really, being able to give it away in order to keep it safe is really reassuring to me, especially since something so precious to me is being given to something even more precious and for very great reasons.  I should be the one thanking you, Yamamoto-san.”

Before Yamamoto could humbly state that he didn’t deserve her thanks, the silver-haired woman stood up on slightly shaking feet.  The raven-haired teen was startled for a moment, and was going to help her stand, but the look the woman gave him as she righted herself made him freeze in his motions.  The usual gentle and placating look that the woman had been wearing through their whole conversation had been replaced with an imposing and almost menacing look, her eyes shining in silent demand and looking very much like an angered Gokudera.

“Yamamoto Takeshi,” the older woman demanded heavily, a foreboding aura overcoming her being as she stared down at the tall teen still sitting on the couch.  The Japanese boy was so startled by the woman’s abrupt change in personality that he could only let out a frightened ‘Yes!’ in a slightly higher-pitched voice and feel complete embarrassment for his reaction.  At that, the menacing look covering the older woman’s face lessened somewhat as she continued with her demand while she pointed at the sitting rain guardian.  “As Hayato’s mother, I demand that with the gifts I have given you that you give my son the greatest Christmas he as ever experienced.  Do I make myself clear?”

As Kazumi’s features softened at the end of her question, Yamamoto let out a relieved laugh, finally understanding what the woman had been trying to do.  “Yes, I promise.  I’ll even pinky swear on it, haha!”

The silver-haired woman giggled as Yamamoto held his pinky out to her and she encircled hers with his, the two making a pact to share their promise with the one they cared for most.  Both were full of hope that their plan would succeed. 

With that, Yamamoto stood up alongside Gokudera’s mother and held his hand out for her to shake after placing the promise ring safely in the pocket of his jeans.  “I don’t know when the bazooka is going to send me back but I think I’ve taken up enough of your resting time as it is, haha!” The black, spikey-haired teen announced with his regular goofy grin on his face.  His expression became softer as the silver-haired woman grasped her hand in his.  “Thank you again for everything, Gokudera-san.”

“It was no trouble to me,” Gokudera Kazumi replied as the two of them shook hands in mutual gratitude.  “I’m glad that I was able to meet you, too, Yamamoto-san.  Please make my son happy.”

As yet another promise was exchanged between the two, and after another motherly blessing from the beautiful silver-haired woman, Yamamoto parted ways with her as he headed out of the restaurant and she headed towards the piano once again.  The raven-haired teen tried not to think that this would be the last and only time he would ever get to see the strong yet sickly woman, and that she only had about a year left before her illness would take her life.

Unconsciously, he touched the outside of his pants pocket to feel the lump of the ring contained within, the expensive jewelry safely tucked away.  Gaining a little more confidence and comfort from the ring’s presence Yamamoto then, carefully, folded the multi-paged letter in his hands, being more precise with his folds in order to not damage the words written on the paper in anyway.  Once the treasured letter was deemed to be folded safely, the tall, lanky teen made his way back towards the banquet hall where his father was at.  He wanted to make sure he was close by for whenever the bazooka would send him back.

With the promises held between the letter and the ornate ring in his possession, Yamamoto was confident that whatever happened in the near future, Gokudera and him would get through it.  This was Gokudera Kazumi’s final wish to her son, and also to him, and Yamamoto was more than determined to keep it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter is done! Sorry that it's taking me longer to get these out. Even though I'm only editing these chapters, this is a side-project I'm doing, so I can only do it when I actually have the time to. With that said, I'm currently in my last semester of school, so time is a little tight XD Anyway, I hope everyone likes the latest chapter! The only warnings I have are Gokudera's potty mouth and a crap ton of drama (sorry in advance). With that, I hope you enjoy!

It had been about an hour after he had left the hotel’s restaurant—a little after 11:00 pm— when a pink puff of smoke covered Yamamoto’s vision.  He had been resting against the wall outside of the banquet hall doors and was taken by surprise when it happened.  One minute he was staring at the ornate decorations on the opposite wall of the hallway and the next, he was flying through a pink psychedelic tunnel, his sight soon becoming consumed by darkness upon re-entry into his time.  Having just undergone drastic fluctuations in light in under the span of a minute, it was no surprise that Yamamoto felt completely dazed as he sat in the darkened room while he rubbed his aching head with his free hand (the other still holding Gokudera Kazumi’s letter) as he tried to readjust to his new surroundings.  The raven-haired baseball player was so out of it, he barely felt the soft fabric of the blankets and futon beneath him or the presence of another person sitting next to him in the dark.

Thankfully, the room wasn’t completely dark, since there was a little night-light plugged into the wall on the opposite side of the room.  This helped Yamamoto’s eyes readjust more quickly as he heard the shuffling of fabric from nearby.  Turning his head almost blindly in the direction of the noise, the taller teen was able to hear a groggy groan as a shadowy mass of spikey hair was outlined within the darkness, the smaller figure appearing out of a mesh of blankets higher off the ground.

“Mmm…what the…?” The groggy voice of another teen questioned as he rubbed his chocolate-brown eyes.  The smaller teen sat up in his bed as he also readjusted to the darkness in the room.  A moment later, the spikey-haired teen looked towards where he had set up the night-light and saw two tall figures sitting on the futon below and a little bit away from his bed.  Not expecting this, the smaller teen on the bed jumped in fright, a noise of surprise escaping his mouth as his tired brain tried to figure out what was going on.

Upon hearing the other boy’s exclamation, Yamamoto finally recognized who the voice belonged to.  “Tsuna?!” The taller teen questioned in surprise, his brain finally figuring out where he was.

“Y-Yamamoto?!” Tsuna shouted back with just as much surprise as his taller friend, quickly noting that the other’s voice sounded much older in comparison to what he had been hearing all day.  That could only mean one thing.

His friends were finally back!

“T-Thank goodness you’re all right!” The brown-haired teen let out with a relieved sigh, his tensed up body finally relaxing upon his bed before he realized that he couldn’t see his friends too well.  “Ah! Just a minute, I’ll turn on the light!”

Yamamoto closed his eyes for a moment when he heard his smaller friend shuffle off of his bed and through the darkness of his bedroom until he found the light switch.  In the next second, a flash of light illuminated the raven-haired teen’s eyelids, indicating that the lights had been turned back on.

As Tsuna readjusted to the light as well, the smaller teen opened his eyes to see his friends sitting on his spare futon, Gokudera covering his eyes with one of his hands while Yamamoto tightly held his eyelids closed.  “Ah!  I’m glad Gokudera-kun’s back, too!” Tsuna sighed in relief again.  Even though he had seen a second dark figure sitting in the room, he hadn’t heard the other boy speak, so he hadn’t exactly been sure if he had imagined that the other boy was there or not.

Hearing that the silver-haired boy was in the room with them, too, Yamamoto opened his eyes again and quickly shifted around to hide the letter behind his back.  He didn’t need Gokudera seeing it and questioning it too soon or else his present would be ruined.  It was also here that Yamamoto noticed that he was sitting on a futon with the other boy as well.

Tsuna was quick to notice the look of confusion cross his taller friend’s face as he made his way back to sit on his bed.  He had also noticed Yamamoto shifting to hide something behind his back, and that Gokudera still hadn’t talked or responded in anyway.  Frowning a bit in worry as he made himself comfortable again on his bed, Tsuna decided that he needed to explain why his friends were sitting where they were.  “Um, I’m sorry, but I had your younger selves share a bed for the night.  I wasn’t sure when you guys would be back, and we didn’t have anywhere else to put you guys…”

“Haha, its okay, Tsuna,” Yamamoto interrupted with a dismissive wave of his hands (the letter was laying behind him now).  He wasn’t going to tell the smaller boy that Gokudera and him were used to sharing the same bed since he knew that wouldn’t go over very well with everyone in the room.  “It couldn’t be helped.  Gokudera and I should actually thank you for taking care of our younger selves!  I hope we weren’t too troublesome, haha!”

“Heh…” Tsuna let out an uncomfortable chuckle, not sure on how to respond to the taller teen’s statement.  The younger versions of his friends hadn’t been too difficult to take care of but they had still caused a lot of unnecessary trouble and drama.  Deciding that changing the subject was best at the moment, Tsuna curiously asked.  “So…where did you guys end up anyway?  Were you still in Namimori?”

Yamamoto laughed good-naturedly at that as he rubbed the back of his head.  “I was in Tokyo, actually.  Believe me, I was surprised, too, haha!”

After Tsuna gaped at him in shock for a moment, he asked the all-important question of why Yamamoto had been in Tokyo of all places.  The baseball player then went into a short detailed explanation of how his father went to Tokyo for college class reunions sometimes and that he had brought his younger self along.  Yamamoto completely skipped over his encounter with the beautiful Gokudera Kazumi; if he mentioned her, he would ruin the surprise he had for Gokudera. 

As Yamamoto’s tale ended, an awkward silence filled the room as the raven-haired boy and Tsuna waited patiently for Gokudera to respond to Tsuna’s question as well.  As the silence continued to ensue, the sky and rain guardians’ eyes flashed with worry as they glanced towards their silent friend, wondering why he hadn’t said anything yet.

Since Yamamoto was sitting closer to him, he got a better view of his silver-haired lover.  The usually fiery bomber was sitting in a slouched position, his head hanging low with his silvery bangs covering his eyes.  Yamamoto was also quick to note how Gokudera’s hands were clenched into fists, one of his arms held up by a raised knee while the other was held at his side and beside his other leg that was laying straight out in from him. 

More worry overcame the raven-haired teen as he witnessed his lover’s lamenting form.  Not caring that he was intruding on the other boy’s personal space, Yamamoto scooted closer until he was able to bend his head in just the right way to meet Gokudera’s eyes.  It was here that the taller teen’s hazel orbs widened in shock, noticing the obvious swollen red rims under the silver-haired teen’s eyes.  “G-Gokudera?!” Yamamoto gasped in surprise at the sight, more worry overcoming him as he stared at his forlorn lover. 

It was obvious that Gokudera had been crying.

Upon hearing his boyfriend’s questioning voice, Gokudera quickly shifted his head away in the opposite direction from Yamamoto, biting his lip and clenching his fists together harder as he heard the voice of the person he had come to care too much for.  He wasn’t ready to face his taller counterpart yet, not when he was still emotional about the decision he had made only an hour prior.

Still, he had been rude to the Tenth long enough by not answering his question and that was inexcusable.  Gathering his strength, Gokudera finally let out in a hoarse voice, “I…I was at my father’s mansion the whole time.”

There was a tense silence as this new set of information was processed.  Suddenly, the silver-haired bomber’s previous silence made all the more sense.

“Oh…” Tsuna muttered unsurely, completely at a loss on what to say to his ailing friend.  Obviously, being re-introduced to the mansion and seeing his father again hadn’t been a good experience for Gokudera.  “I’m sorry about that, Gokudera-kun.”

As Gokudera quietly mentioned that Tsuna shouldn’t apologize for what he couldn’t help, Yamamoto remained silent as he shifted back towards where his letter lay, completely hiding the papers from view again.  The taller teen’s hazel eyes darkened as a foreboding feeling overcame him.  Gokudera had been stuck in the mansion he hated for most of the day and had more than likely seen his father again.  It was obvious that the experience wasn’t a happy one, and it was more than likely that being stuck in the place he hated most with the haunting memories of his mother probably as his only source of company, that the whole experience must have been grueling and torturous for his beloved Italian. Christmas Eve was tomorrow.  Was it such a good idea to give Gokudera the memento of his mother with such a fresh and horrible experience on his mind?  The ring **_was_** from Gokudera’s father, after all and, not to mention, he had been able to meet Gokudera’s mother, the one person he was sure that Gokudera would have given anything in order to meet again.

What was he supposed to do now?!  Would his present only rub Gokudera the wrong way?!  Was it wrong to give it to him?!

Before Yamamoto could think on it more, an overwhelming pain erupted in his head.  Letting out an agonized shout, the taller teen grasped his spikey hair between his fingers as another wave of pain overcame him.  Suddenly, flashes of memories that he swore he had never seen or experienced starting rushing through his mind.  He saw a smaller boy before him, probably only two-years-old, with shiny silver hair.  He remembered that same boy punching him in the cheek, then shaking his hand in a token of friendship.  He remembered reading a big book with the other boy and playing tag with him, closely followed by falling asleep on the silver-haired boy’s shoulder.  The final rush of memories consisted of feeding the silver-haired boy with a pair of chopsticks, taking a bath with him—wait, was he sucking on the other boy’s ear?!—and then cuddling up with the familiar looking boy as they fell asleep in a futon together.

…What in the world?

While Yamamoto was trying to figure out what was going on, Gokudera was experiencing the same pain as he dug his fingers into his scalp, the same memories flashing through the Italian’s mind at the same time. 

“Yamamoto!  Gokudera-kun!  Are you alright?!” Tsuna exclaimed in horror as he watched his friends shakily let go of their heads, the pain from the forced memories finally receding.  “What just happened?!”

There was a moment of silence before Yamamoto shakily peered up into Tsuna’s worried irises.  “I…I’m not sure…” The taller teen mumbled out unsteadily, trying to recollect what he had just experienced.  “I…can’t remember everything that I saw but I’m sure I saw a little boy with silver hair.  Could it be that…?” The raven-haired athlete swallowed heavily as his brain came up with the only solution.  “Were those the memories of what our younger selves went through today?”

“It’s possible,” a nasally voice answered from above, the words spoken with slight intrigue.  “It’s only natural that your memories would be altered by experiencing something that you hadn’t experienced previously in your past.”

Yamamoto and Tsuna glanced in the direction of the voice to see Reborn was awake (or had he been awake the whole time?) and sitting up in his hammock, the spikey-haired baby donning pale pink pajamas, complete with stocking cap.

The sun arcobaleno’s eyes twinkled with interest as he spoke again.  “So, can you remember exactly what the memories entailed, Yamamoto?”

The baseball player’s eyes squinted in concentration as he racked his brain for the memories again but, no matter what he did, he couldn’t recall what he saw just moments ago.  “Sorry, Little Guy,” Yamamoto uttered in disappointment, almost ashamed of himself for not remembering something that had happened not too long ago.  “I’m coming up blank.  All that I can see is a blurry image of a child, and the only thing that sticks out about him is his silver hair.  I can’t remember exactly what he looks like, what we did, or even his name.  It’s all really fuzzy.”

Reborn didn’t seem to be surprised by Yamamoto’s answer.  “Well, that shouldn’t be too surprising.  They are memories from a long time ago and you were barely two at the time.  It’s natural for children to not remember that far back unless those memories had a very big impact on them.  I’m actually kind of surprised that you could retain the vague memory of Gokudera.”

Yamamoto was silent for a moment as he processed his thoughts again.  He didn’t like the idea of forgetting about Gokudera.  “Actually, now that you mention it, when I look back on my childhood I always felt like someone else was missing but I couldn’t think of who it was.”  Wondering if Gokudera had experienced the same as him, Yamamoto glanced over in the direction of his silver-haired friend to ask but his words got caught in his throat at the sight of the Italian bomber. 

Gokudera was on his knees now with his hands grasping the carpet between his fingers in an iron-like grip, his hold so tight that his knuckles were turning white.  Yet again, the older teen’s head was bowed and his hair was obstructing his face from view, but it wasn’t too hard to see from Gokudera’s stiff body language that he was agonizing over something.

Unluckily for Gokudera, Yamamoto had made a huge impact on him in his younger age, so the silver-haired teen could remember more than his taller counterpart.  Even though he had the same vague outline of a toddler—but this one with spikey, black hair— like Yamamoto had for him, and he couldn’t remember the name of the boy that he had befriended, it was that key factor that made him remember; **_befriended_**.  Yamamoto had been his first friend and one of the only truly kind people he had ever met that early in his life, and, even though he had grown to forget who that boy was, he still remembered that he had made a friend at some point.  That thought had caused him to feel even lonelier as he grew older in his childhood.  He could distinctly remember the other kids of the mansion making fun of him because he had mentioned the mysterious boy, claiming that he had come up with an imaginary friend.   It didn’t matter, though, because Gokudera believed that he had made a friend and that very thought was what got him through most of his days. On those days, he would promise himself that he would meet the mysterious boy with the funny laugh again.

That same boy was now in the room with him and Gokudera could only feel the clenching pain in his chest as he realized that, because of these newfound memories, he felt himself drawn even closer to Yamamoto.  Suddenly, the other teen meant so much to him, even more than he had before.  He had been his first friend; he had been the first person who had tried to get to know him, who had **_wanted_** to get to know him. He had been the one to change his perspective towards others in the future, and he had been the first person he had ever let in completely. 

There was no doubt in Gokudera’s mind about what he felt for Yamamoto Takeshi.  It was a feeling beyond friendship, beyond infatuation and adoration, beyond anything he had ever felt before.  Gokudera knew that he had come to realize his love for Yamamoto a couple years ago but, now, it was even more than that; this was a feeling that he couldn’t adequately describe.  It was love of the highest caliber, a feeling so strong that the four letters that he used to describe it didn’t do it justice.  ‘Love’ wasn’t the right word to use but it was the closest thing he could come up with that described the emotion that had just consumed him.

And it was the most **_excruciating_** thing he had ever felt in his— ** _entire_** — ** _life_**.

This couldn’t be happening to him.  Not after he had finally, **_finally_** , convinced himself to break things off with Yamamoto.  Not after he had promised himself that it would be less painful for them in the long run by giving each other up! This…this wasn’t happening…this couldn’t happen!

Gokudera repressed the choking sob that came from his throat as he felt his eyes begin to water again.  Hadn’t he cried enough already?!  How was it that he had more tears to spare?!  Not wanting anyone to see the pathetic state he was in, Gokudera quickly stood up and faced the opposite direction of the people in the room.  He could hear the startled exclamations from Tsuna and Yamamoto as he abruptly stood but he paid them no heed as he quickly made his way towards the door.  He had to get out of there!

“I’m sorry, Tenth, I have to go!” Gokudera let out in an almost hysterical rush as he hurriedly walked towards the exit of the room.  He could feel the tears in his eyes begin to leak down his cheeks as he heard Yamamoto call out for him to wait.  The Italian teen ignored him, though, until he heard the same request from his boss.

“Gokudera-kun, please wait!” Tsuna pleaded, his big, brown eyes round with worry.  “It’s the middle of the night!  I don’t know why you want to leave but it’s really cold outside, so please… at least stay and rest until morning.”

The silver-haired teen stopped dead in the middle of the bedroom doorway, unable to deny his boss’s pleading request, despite how distraught he felt.  Apparently he wasn’t the only one feeling that way because Gokudera heard Yamamoto call out to him again, the taller boy’s voice rough with worry and hurt as he asked him what was wrong.

Gokudera couldn’t answer that even if he wanted to.  **_Everything_** was wrong. 

Unable to be in the room any longer, the silver-haired teen ignored his boyfriend’s question and quickly mumbled out that he would be sleeping on the couch before he departed towards the stairs, leaving a concerned Reborn and Tsuna and a distraught Yamamoto in his wake; the three occupants in the room too shocked by their friend’s behavior to chase after him.

* * *

 

Gokudera practically fell down the stairs in his mad rush to get as far away from Yamamoto as possible, the silver-haired teen blinded by his tears and the darkness that pervaded the hallway.  He slipped on the last step, though, the only thing preventing him from falling was his surprisingly quick reflex to grab the stair railing as he felt himself trip.  It was here, frozen in shock from his almost fall at the bottom, his hand clenching the stair railing for dear life, that Gokudera broke down for the second time that day.

As the usually feisty teen slid boneless to the floor, he curled up and buried his face into his knees, his arms hugging his legs in a death-like grip as he choked and sobbed out his frustration while trying to be as quiet as he could.  The last thing he needed was for anyone to find him in this pathetic state.

Why?  Why did he have to love Yamamoto?! Gokudera had finally found the resolve to let him go, to save both of them from the future torment he knew that was in store for them and now he cared for the baseball idiot even more than he did before!  He didn’t want this!  He didn’t want to feel for Yamamoto anymore!  He didn’t want to love; not Yamamoto, and certainly, **_never_** again!

That was the only conceivable reason in Gokudera’s mind as to why he was letting himself shamefully cry at the bottom of his boss’s stairway.  He didn’t want to feel anything anymore, not love, not pain, and he didn’t want to remember how it felt to be held in Yamamoto’s arms or how happy he felt with the other.  If crying was the only way to get rid of those feelings, then so be it.

Gokudera didn’t know how long he had drowned out his sorrows but, when he had no more tears to shed, and his throat felt dryer than sandpaper and just as rough, the only thing the silver-haired teen could feel was total and complete exhaustion.  Truthfully, Gokudera just wanted to forget the whole day had ever happened. 

With sleep the only thing on his mind now, the worn-out bomber slowly stood up on shaking legs and dug around in his pockets for a bit, his trembling hand producing a lighter from his short search.  His hands were shaking so much from his previous episode that it took a couple tries and warbled curses in order to produce a flickering flame from the lighter.  Once this task was complete, Gokudera slowly trudged his way down the pitch black hallway until he came to the entryway closet.  As he slid open the door, the flame from the lighter illuminated the contents of the closet, most of the contents being racks of coats but the top portion of the closet held blankets and pillows for guests that were sleeping over.  Carefully so as not to tip anything over or set anything on fire, Gokudera grabbed a pillow and a blanket and awkwardly maneuvered them under his free arm after closing the closet door behind him.  From there, the exhausted teen made his way into the living room where he carefully set up his makeshift bed on the couch.

The same couch that Yamamoto and him had slept on when they were little.

Gokudera froze at the thought, completely surprised that he had remembered the long lost memory even though he couldn’t remember it earlier in Tsuna’s room. 

This is when Gokudera remembered that he usually retained things better than Yamamoto anyway and that he practically had a photographic memory.

Well, **_that_** was just fucking **_great_**!

The frustration that bubbled up inside Gokudera quickly dissipated like the flame from his lighter as he quickly flipped the lid back over the little device.  He was too tired to think on the subject of anything Yamamoto related any longer.  As Gokudera quickly stuffed his lighter back into his pocket and shuffled around in the darkness while he made himself comfortable on the couch, all he could think about was the comforting nothingness of the sleep that awaited him (he could dream that he wouldn’t dream, right?). 

As soon as he covered himself with the blanket and his head hit the pillow, Gokudera got his wish; the complete exhaustion he felt from the day the reason for his dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

It was around three in the morning when a flashlight illuminated the stairwell, a tall and tired body slowly ambling their way down the steps.  If Yamamoto was completely honest with himself, he knew that he was dead tired and that he should be sleeping, but the memory he had of a very upset Gokudera running out of Tsuna’s room had been haunting him, so he couldn’t get to sleep even if he tried.  He had tossed and turned on the futon until, three hours later, he deemed that if he wanted to get any sleep that night he had to see Gokudera.

So that was why he was clumsily navigating the darkened corridors of Tsuna’s house at three in the morning on Christmas Eve.  He was tired, frustrated, and horribly worried about Gokudera, and he was going to see him even if the silver-haired teen started a tantrum about it and woke up the rest of the household!

With tired determination, Yamamoto finally arrived at his destination.  He gently placed the flashlight onto the coffee table before the couch so that the light would illuminate the surrounding area without going directly into Gokudera’s face (Yamamoto really didn’t want to wake him if he could help it).  It was here, kneeling on the ground next to the silvery head of his lover, that Yamamoto could see that the red rims below the smaller teen’s eyes were still swollen and stained from tears.  Just what had upset Gokudera this much to make him cry, even in his sleep?

Yamamoto’s brow furrowed in concern as a tanned, calloused, hand gently came up to stroke the unconscious teen’s cheek, the movement slow and light so as not to wake the sleeping beauty before him. 

“Just what are you running away from, Gokudera?” The taller teen unconsciously whispered aloud as he leaned over his sleeping lover, his free hand coming up to grip the edge of the couch cushion tightly in frustration.  Why did Gokudera have to keep his fears and insecurities locked so tightly within himself?  Why couldn’t he share them with him?  Did Gokudera really not trust him?

Yamamoto felt his breath hitch at that thought.  He hated the idea that after everything they had been through together that Gokudera still couldn’t trust him, and that he still couldn’t completely open himself to him.  The raven-haired teen wanted, more than anything, for things to go back to the way they were when they had started going out.  Gokudera and him had been so happy together and Yamamoto was certain he had never seen the feisty Italian smile so much before, even though those smiles were usually small and secretive and Gokudera tried to hide them from him.  Yamamoto could only hope that the present from Gokudera’s mother wouldn’t upset the feisty Italian even more than what he was now.

He could only hope that the present would fix the mess that had become his and Gokudera’s relationship and convince his lover to finally open up and talk to him.

As his face took on another look of determination, Yamamoto was about to get up and leave but a sound stopped him in his tracks.  It had been faint and almost unnoticeable but he had heard it nonetheless. 

He was certain that Gokudera had just whimpered out his name.

The hand that was gently stroking Gokudera’s face froze as Yamamoto tensed up in slight fear and anticipation, wondering if he had awoken his sleeping lover but, after a few tense minutes, Gokudera hadn’t moved an inch and didn’t speak again.  Relaxing at the thought that he wouldn’t have to deal with a more than likely cranky Gokudera this early in the morning, Yamamoto resumed his previous actions of lavishing the sleeping teen’s face with gentle affection, a tender smile finding its way onto the athletes face.  Knowing that he should stop his actions soon if he really didn’t want to wake Gokudera, but finding it hard to resist the opportunity, Yamamoto stooped down and pressed his lips to the sleeping bombers.  The kiss was as soft and gentle as the hand held to the Italian’s cheek and lasted just as long as the raven-haired teen’s breath would allow.

As their lips slowly parted, Yamamoto hovered a couple inches away from the other before gently nuzzling his face into the mop of silvery hair before him, inhaling the characteristic sweet and smoky scent of Gokudera that he had come to love (despite his aversion to the smell of cigarette smoke).  It had been so long since he had been so close to his beloved bomber, so long since he had touched him like this that Yamamoto stayed in that position longer than his exhaustion addled brain thought necessary.  It was probably due to that very exhaustion that Yamamoto whispered into Gokudera’s ear.

“Please, Gokudera,” the rain guardian pleaded in a tender, whispering, voice.  “Please be here tomorrow when I wake up.  Don’t run away from your problems anymore.  Talk to me and explain why you are so upset and why you lied to me about…about the misunderstanding.  **_Please_**.  I want to fix this.”

After another moment of just memorizing the feeling of his lover against him, Yamamoto stood up and grabbed the flashlight off of the coffee table.  As he made his way out of the living room, he spared one more longing glance towards the couch where his lover laid, the moonlight from the glass door to the backyard partially illuminating the darkened room and giving him a better view. 

With a heavy and tired sigh, Yamamoto turned around and made his way back up the stairs to his awaiting futon.  He could only hope that Gokudera was there to meet him in the morning.

As the ever hopeful teen made himself comfortable back in his futon, the sleeping figure on the living room couch didn’t stir; the boy too far gone in sleep to know that Yamamoto had even been there.

* * *

 

Rays of sunshine were beaming through the windows of the Sawada residence before another person stirred within the household.  Or two people, in this case. Nana was on her way down to the kitchen to make up a hearty breakfast for all of the house’s occupants with Bianchi trailing behind her, the magenta haired woman on a mission to start cleaning the house early for the Christmas Eve party that night.

As the two women parted ways in the main hallway, Bianchi opened a nearby broom closet and took out a feather duster before heading towards the living room.  The older Italian woman had been in the room for a couple minutes and was in the process of dusting the T.V. set before she noticed there was another occupant in the room with her.  The magenta-haired woman froze upon seeing the bundled up blanket on the couch, her jade-green eyes taking in the face of her sleeping younger brother, who had obviously come back from his time-traveling trip in the middle of the night.

Relieved that her little brother still seemed to be in one piece even though she knew that he had ended up back at the mansion in Italy (where else would her two-year-old brother be?  He was barely allowed to leave the house even after he had turned five!), Bianchi set the feather duster on the coffee table and approached the slumbering bomber.  Reaching her destination, the tall woman stooped down and ran her fingers through her brother’s beautiful silver hair, her hand checking the younger boy’s forehead for any indication of fever while she was at it.  Knowing how her brother reacted around just the mention of their father, she wouldn’t have been surprised if the fiery teen had worked himself into a frenzy and got himself sick as a result of meeting their father again, face to face, just the day before.

Sooner than what Bianchi would have expected, the silver-haired teen stirred, giving out a tired grumble as he felt the added heat on his forehead.  Peeling his eyes open, Gokudera was met with a burst of sunshine from the sliding glass door on the other side of the room and the darker green eyes of his sister.  There was a moment of pause as the two half-siblings stared at each other until Gokudera’s sleep addled brain finally realized that he was, in fact, looking at his sister, and said sister was not wearing protective eye gear.

“S-Sis! Gaugh!” Were the first words to leave the storm guardian’s mouth before he curled up in pain and promptly passed out again from the sight of his sister’s face.  Bianchi’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at her brother’s usual, but still insulting, habit before she left the living room to retrieve her goggles and a bucket of cold water. 

It seemed her baby brother was sick after all.

* * *

 

Another hour within the house passed before Gokudera opened his eyes again. A pitiful moan escaped his lips as he clutched at his stomach in pain, a wave of nausea hitting him again upon his reentry into the waking world.  Confusion crossed the Italian bomber’s face as he felt a warm cloth against his forehead, the half-conscious teen trying to remember what had happened to him in order for the wet cloth to be there.  Upon feeling the cloth being removed from his forehead, Gokudera turned his head to see a goggles-wearing Bianchi dipping the cloth in a bucket of water and ringing it back out.

“I see that you’re awake again, Hayato.” Bianchi stated in slight irritation, still a little miffed that her brother would, and would probably **_always_** , faint at the sight of her.

Gokudera was about to answer back in his still groggy and nauseous state but choked on his words upon seeing his sister get up and start scrubbing the wooden floor boards a short distance away with the very wash cloth that had been on his face only moments prior.  The silver-haired teen was struck speechless for a moment before he exclaimed, “What are you doing?!”

Bianchi just peered back over her shoulder at her stupefied brother, giving him her best nonchalant expression.  “Hayato had to go and faint on me **_again_** right when I was in the middle of cleaning.  I promised Maman that I would help give her an early start on the cleaning for the party tonight, so I’ve been multitasking by cooling down your fever and scrubbing the floor with this wash cloth.”

There was another short and stifling silence as the siblings stared at each other again, Bianchi’s nonplussed expression never wavering as her brother gawked at her like she had just grown an extra head.

“Th-Th-That’s unhealthy!” Gokudera screamed incredulously as he sat up on the couch in a flurry of motion, completely forgetting about his upset stomach. 

Bianchi continued to eye her brother with a dismissive glare and went back to her job of scrubbing the floor like she found no fault in her actions.  Gokudera didn’t feel an ounce of surprise towards his sister’s attitude, though.  Knowing her, she probably felt irritated with him and had done it on purpose, despite knowing that she could have easily gotten another wash cloth to do her task.

As Gokudera sat on the couch and glared furious daggers into his sister’s back, another woman entered the living room, a look of curiosity on her face. 

“Oh, Gokudera-kun!  When did you get here?” Nana questioned in surprise as she approached the couch.  “I could have sworn you weren’t staying over when I went to bed last night.  Did you come to retrieve your cousin?”

Before the silver-haired teen could question his boss’ mother on what she was talking about, Bianchi stood back up and gave Nana a reassuring glance.  “His and Yamamoto’s aunts came to pick them up last night, and Hayato and Yamamoto came around that time as well.  Tsuna offered to let his friends stay over since the bedding for the kids was already laid out.”

As the brown-haired woman made an ‘oh’ sound in understanding, Gokudera finally realized what the women of the household were talking about.  All of a sudden, a rush of memories and feelings from the previous day resurfaced in the silver-haired teen’s mind, leaving the smaller teen feeling breathless in their wake. 

Ignoring his still queasy stomach, Gokudera stood up abruptly and startled Nana and Bianchi out of their current conversation towards the household cleaning.  Without glancing towards the older women, and with his bangs masking his eyes from view, Gokudera mumbled out a courteous thank you to his boss’ mother for letting him intrude upon her house so late at night and for allowing him to stay there.  After asking her to give his thanks to the Tenth when he woke up, the agitated bomber promptly headed towards the doorway and out into the hallway where he had left his shoes and coat yesterday morning before he was hit by the bazooka. 

As the teen was shuffling on his shoes in haste to get out of the house as fast as possible, he noticed Yamamoto’s tennis shoes lying next to his.  For a brief moment Gokudera wondered how Yamamoto traveled around Tokyo yesterday while only wearing socks to protect his feet.  Had his feet felt uncomfortable being exposed to the chilly winter weather? 

The feisty Italian made a strangled noise in his throat upon realizing what he was thinking about and finished tying his shoes at lightning speed.  He had to get out of the house.  He had to get away from Yamamoto before his resolve fully crumbled or else all of his plans and the last month’s heartache would be all for nothing.

The storm guardian had just put on his coat and his fingers were on the handle of the door when a cold voice stopped him in his tracks.

“How was Father’s mansion, Hayato?”

Gokudera stiffened at his sister’s voice. He had been too caught up in his own frantic thoughts to have heard her approach him.

Everything was silent for a moment as the two siblings stood their ground, Bianchi glaring at her brother’s back this time around, while Gokudera fidgeted by the doorway, the silver-haired teen pondering if he should just leave or answer his sister’s question.  Since he was feeling emotional and completely off at the moment, Gokudera decided to say something else instead, something that his sister would have actually liked to hear.  “I finally read the letters.” The smoking bomber spoke up quietly as he glared at the door in front of him.  Hopefully his words would be enough to let Bianchi leave him alone so that he could be at peace for a little bit.

The anger and irritation on Bianchi’s face quickly gave way to surprise upon hearing her brother’s words.  Before she could respond, Gokudera quickly spoke up again, unconsciously answering the question she was about to ask.  “Just so you know, I still hate the bastard, and I probably always will,” Gokudera spat out scathingly as the recent memories of his father resurfaced once again.  “I just don’t blame him for my mother’s death anymore.”

There was another pause as Bianchi’s eyes narrowed at her brother’s back; she was trying to read the aura Gokudera was giving off.  As another minute passed by and Gokudera finally had enough and opened the front door to leave, Bianchi knowingly called out, “Don’t do anything you will regret, Hayato.”

Gokudera paused on the front step to Tsuna’s house, his face contorting in complete confusion as his body shuddered out of reaction to his sister’s ominous voice.  What the hell did she know?!  Feeling his anger towards everything in general bubble up inside him again, Gokudera turned around and screamed at his sister to ‘piss off’ before promptly slamming the front door in her face, the infuriated teen only feeling the slightest bit of regret because he had just manhandled the door to his boss’ house.  After sending a mental apology to his boss, Gokudera hastily made his way off of the premises to find the solitude he needed in order to think things through before the party that night.

It was here, after hearing Gokudera’s scream and the front door slam, that Tsuna and Yamamoto made their way down the stairs, rubbing sleepily at their eyes from their abrupt wake-up call.  As the two teen’s paused on the stairs and Tsuna groggily asked what was going on, Bianchi turned towards them and sent a silent pitying look towards Yamamoto before heading towards the living room again.

Yamamoto could only blink sleepily in surprise at the older woman’s look, an all familiar feeling of worry twisting in his gut in response.  Something told him that Gokudera had already left the house.

* * *

 

No matter what he did Yamamoto could not get in contact with Gokudera for the rest of the day.  The young athlete knew his ornery lover wouldn’t probably answer his cell phone or a knock at his apartment door but that didn’t stop Yamamoto from trying those options anyway.  When those tasks proved fruitless and the younger teen had searched the area for Gokudera at his usual haunts like a nearby park or the convenient store down the street, Yamamoto decided to put his task of talking with Gokudera off until the Christmas Eve party.

At least, he **_hoped_** that Gokudera would show up at the party.

Shaking his doubts away by reassuring himself that Gokudera not showing up to a party that Tsuna and his family were hosting would be seen as disrespectful to the storm guardian’s eyes (that, and Gokudera had their joint gift for Tsuna), Yamamoto traveled back home in order to prepare his gift in slightly less-worrying spirits.  Upon his reentry to his house and a friendly greeting towards his dad, who was serving some customers before he would close down the shop for Christmas tomorrow, the raven-haired teen made his way up to his room to start working on wrapping his gifts.

Finding an envelope for Kazumi’s letter hadn’t been too difficult and neither had finding a small box for the ring.  Even finding the Christmas wrapping paper and gift box tissue his dad used for their presents hadn’t been too difficult to find, but wrapping up the small box was another story entirely.  Yamamoto didn’t know how many sheets of wrapping paper he went through in just trying to make the gift box look just as perfect as the present held within it but, by the time that the Christmas Eve party was about the start, the taller boy felt lost on what to do.  His father was busy with customers still and he wasn’t that good at wrapping presents as well, so what option did that leave him?

The dark-haired teen almost gave up in defeat and accepted his crappy-looking wrapped up gift but, thankfully, Haru stopped by on her way to Tsuna’s house and asked if he wanted to walk with her (she was going to be meeting up with the Sasagawa’s as well).  The mischievous brown-haired girl saw Yamamoto’s predicament and gladly (and rather quickly, much to Yamamoto’s astonishment) helped him in wrapping up his present.

Even though he was extremely thankful for Haru’s help (the present looked amazing and perfectly wrapped), the taller teen couldn’t help but think that maybe letting her help had been a bad idea because, as the two of them walked towards Tsuna’s, Haru teased him about his small gift.  She was quick to assume that such a small box could only contain some sort of jewelry and teased him about giving it to someone special at the party that night.  Yamamoto could only laugh uncomfortably as the springy girl gave him knowing looks that he didn’t know how to interpret and tried to dismiss her assumptions by talking about the massive present she was carrying with her.  Sadly, Haru never got the chance to really talk about her gift since they met up with Kyoko and Ryohei around that time.  From there, it was a very short walk to Tsuna’s house, and, by the time they got there, most of the other party guests had arrived.

Except for Gokudera.

Yamamoto tried his best not to show his concern by hanging around and talking with his other friends that he hadn’t talked to in a while but, by the time the party actually started, and Nana had brought out Christmas Eve dinner for everyone to enjoy, Yamamoto was an internal, nervous wreck.  Where was Gokudera?  It was here, when everyone sat down at the long table that was used for their Christmas meeting a month back that Yamamoto noticed him.  The silver-haired teen was sitting by Tsuna like he usually would (Yamamoto had decided to sit further down the table next to Ryohei and Basil) and when the raven-haired teen asked Basil about when Gokudera had arrived, the other rain flame user responded that Gokudera had actually been the first to arrive and had been helping Nana in the kitchen with dinner.

Yamamoto couldn’t restrain the weird vibe that he felt upon hearing Gokudera actually working in the kitchen.  It was a well-known fact to Tsuna and him that Gokudera didn’t do too well in kitchens because of how he associated them with his sister Bianchi.  That and the silver-haired teen only knew how to prepare instant made things, so just thinking of Gokudera helping out with dinner produced a very weird mental image in the baseball players brain and sent him very strong warning signals.

It was obvious that Gokudera was trying to avoid him.

Why else would the feisty Italian subject himself to working in an environment he was completely uncomfortable with?  To Yamamoto, Gokudera had to be pretty desperate in order to work in the kitchen with the rest of the girls (he did find girls completely annoying after all).

The raven-haired teen’s eyes narrowed in hurt as he glanced towards Gokudera near the head of the table.  The Italian’s jade-green eyes met with his for a split second before the silver-haired teen quickly turned his head away and started up a conversation with Tsuna, pointedly ignoring the growing hurt accumulating in his boyfriend’s stare.  Yamamoto was so distraught by Gokudera’s behavior that he barely tasted Nana’s delicious cooking as everyone settled down to eat, which only made him feel worse because he knew all of the preparation and time that had went into the Christmas dinner.

Yamamoto also barely remembered most of the Secret Santa exchange that had occurred after everyone had finished eating, since he was too preoccupied with his worried thoughts.  He barely remembered the hand woven head band I-Pin had made for him to use when he made sushi at the restaurant.  He had given the Chinese girl a distracted thank you, and he knew his smile hadn’t quite reached his eyes, but I-Pin seemed pleased all the same, so he didn’t feel too bad afterwards. 

Besides his received gift, there were only a few other exchanges that stuck out to him.  One of them was Bianchi’s gift to Haru.  The brown-haired girl had opened the gift given to her and immediately slammed down the box cover the gift had come in, her face erupting in scarlet embarrassment.  Yamamoto would later find out from Reborn (a week after the party) that Bianchi’s gift had been a ‘boy’s love’ novel. 

In a week’s time, Yamamoto would finally realize all of those strange looks Haru gave him when he was around Gokudera.

Yamamoto also remembered Reborn’s gift being interesting, too.  The little baby’s gift hadn’t even been wrapped; it had been a picture with a small decorative Christmas bow taped to the corner of it.  That picture had been handed to Mukuro and, judging by the predatory look the picture had produced from him and the provocative side-ways glance he directed towards Tsuna (the spikey-haired mafia boss looked scared out of his mind by the illusionist’s stare), Yamamoto could only guess what sort of secretive picture Reborn had taken.

He guessed Mukuro got his Christmas wish, if only in a different form then what the illusionist was expecting.  Poor, Tsuna.

As bad as he felt for his best friend, Yamamoto almost forgot about the incident with Mukuro when he found out what was in the big present Haru was carrying earlier.  The still slightly embarrassed girl had presented her gift to Basil, who had opened the massive present and dragged out a feudal samurai cosplay outfit.  Basil, who loved learning about the culture of Japan, was ecstatic at the gift and had promptly tried it on, wearing the very well made (Haru’s skills had definitely improved) outfit for the rest of the night. 

Yamamoto had been internally fan-boying about the samurai costume (he wanted to try it on, even though it was obviously made specifically for Basil) when he noticed it was Gokudera’s turn to present his gift.  Yamamoto watched his boyfriend like a hawk as the silver-haired teen handed his gift over to Ryohei, the Italian’s eyes never glancing in Yamamoto’s direction.  Despite how angry Yamamoto felt at Gokudera purposely running away from his problems again (and also for ignoring him), the raven-haired teen’s attention quickly went to Ryohei who had opened his present.  As the boxer lifted the box lid off his hastily opened gift, there was a weird springing noise as something popped out of the open box and punched Ryohei square in the chin, the startled boxer shouting out in surprise as he felt the strong jab connect with his lower jaw.

Everyone in the room went silent as they glanced at the box that the white-haired boxer held in his hands, a black boxing glove with flames and a skull near the end swaying back and forth above the box on a spring. The appearance of the present reminded everyone of a jack-in-the-box. 

Surprisingly, Ryohei loved the violent present he received and tried to load the glove back into the box again for another round but Gokudera had stopped him, stating that he had made it so that the spring could only be used once and that it was for punching Ryohei in the face for constantly pissing him off.  Despite the very auditory disappointment Ryohei displayed, Gokudera helped detach the boxing glove from the spring and handed the glove to the white-haired boxer along with the other glove of the pair that he had been hiding under the table. 

After trying the gloves on and throwing a few well-practiced jabs in the air, Ryohei’s fiery enthusiasm for his gift was back in full swing again as he proclaimed to the heavens of their extremeness; the boxer more than ready to use his new gloves in the ring. 

While Ryohei was being his overenthusiastic self, Yamamoto couldn’t stop the twinge of jealousy he felt upon realizing how much time and effort Gokudera had actually put in to giving and presenting Ryohei’s present (even though it had been for antagonistic purposes).  Wasn’t he supposed to get a gift from Gokudera, too?

Did Gokudera even buy him a present?

The raven-haired teen’s depressing thoughts were interrupted by the voice he wanted to hear the most.  Hazel eyes quickly turned in the direction of the calling voice to meet with jade-green, Gokudera quickly averting eye contact and explaining that he wanted to give Tsuna their joint gift.  Feeling slightly disappointed that Gokudera was only calling out to him out of courtesy, the taller teen got up from his seat as Gokudera went to retrieve their gift from wherever he had stored it.  Standing side by side, even though, to Yamamoto, it felt like they were standing miles apart from each other, they both gave Tsuna the gift they had worked hard to get for him. 

It was only natural for Tsuna to love his gift, and after trying on the orange jacket and showing everyone how well it fit and the ’27 Rocks!’ emblazoned on the back, the spikey-haired mafia don handed his two best friends gifts of their own.  Surprised, Gokudera and Yamamoto reached for the small packages held out in their boss’/friend’s hands and opened them simultaneously.  Reaching into the box that contained his gift, Yamamoto pulled out a blue clothed sports band with the words ‘Left-hand man’ sewn into the fabric in white thread.

Touched by the thoughtful gift, Yamamoto turned towards Gokudera to see if he got the same thing and, just like he expected, the silver-haired teen was holding a red wristband with ‘Right-hand man’ sewn into the fabric in white thread as well.  Yamamoto gauged Gokudera’s expression and wasn’t surprised to see how touched his silver-haired companion was.  Gokudera looked like he was holding back tears of happiness and gratitude as he choked out his thanks to Tsuna, the storm guardian looking the happiest he had been in weeks.

The jealousy in the pit of Yamamoto’s stomach burned even brighter at the thought.

Despite the agony the taller teen was feeling, he could never hate Tsuna for giving them such a thoughtful gift, so he gave him his thanks as well, the smile he wore not reaching his eyes.  Detecting that his taller friend was upset about something, Tsuna then prompted that since he was standing up, Yamamoto should give his gift to his Secret Santa.  Upon hearing the smaller boy’s suggestion, the jealousy Yamamoto felt quickly turned into nervousness as he wondered if he should actually give his gifts away.

Before he could think much on it, he saw Gokudera heading back towards his seat and away from him again, the silver-haired boy completely ignoring him as if he wasn’t there.  Yamamoto didn’t know what came over him in that moment but, the next he knew, he was moving forward and his hand was grasping Gokudera’s arm and turning the ignorant bomber towards him so that he could look at him directly.  The look of shock on Gokudera’s face hardly registered to the taller athlete as he proclaimed, “W-Wait, Gokudera! I’m your Secret Santa!”

Yamamoto was startled by the look of fear that overcame Gokudera’s features but ignored his conflicted feelings for the moment in order to let go of his lover’s arm and go and retrieve his gift from his seat while he still had the courage to do so.    By the time Yamamoto returned to where Gokudera was standing, the silver-haired teen was looking anywhere but at him, his bangs barely covering the look of pain marring his features as he clenched his fists at his sides.  The look was so agonizing that it took everything in Yamamoto’s being to not wrap his arms around his fretful lover and comfort him, knowing that he would be rejected and pushed away anyway (not to mention they were standing in the middle of a crowded room with everyone’s eyes on them at the moment).

As that last nerve-wracking thought entered his mind, Yamamoto offered his small, wrapped gift and the envelope that contained Kazumi’s letter to Gokudera, a look of desperation finding its way onto the taller teen’s face.  “Here,” Yamamoto offered quietly as he waited for Gokudera to take his gifts.  “I…tried really hard to find something perfect for you, so I hope you like them.”  Yamamoto barely acknowledged the strangled whimper he heard from Gokudera before he added, “When you open your present, please read the letter first.  That way, you will probably understand the gift better.” 

By this point, Gokudera was actually looking at him now; his pale-green eyes alit with confusion and slight wonder.  Yamamoto wanted nothing more than to stare into those beautiful eyes for hours on end since they were finally paying attention to him, but another thought popped into the young athlete’s mind at the thought of the gift.  Quickly turning his attention towards Tsuna again, Yamamoto asked if it was possible that Gokudera could open his gift in private.  This only caused more confusion and intrigue among the guests and Gokudera but Tsuna couldn’t exactly refuse upon seeing the desperation in Yamamoto’s eyes.  He knew something was still going on between his two friends, and it seemed that Yamamoto was putting his all into the gift he had prepared in order to repair whatever problem the two of them were facing.

Tsuna nodded his assent and stood up from his seat on the floor, offering to show Gokudera to a guest room in order to open his gift.  Gokudera just nodded dumbly as he followed Tsuna out of the living room, completely lost on what to feel at the moment as he held Yamamoto’s gifts in his hands.  He knew Yamamoto would get him a gift but that still didn’t stop the hurt he felt, knowing that he was going to break up with Yamamoto after this day, and that he hadn’t bought a gift for the taller teen because of that fact.

The guilt was beginning to swallow him whole.

Just as Yamamoto watched his two friends walk out of the living room, he closed his eyes and prayed to whatever deity existed that his gift would fix things between him and Gokudera.  Despite how much he wanted to see his lover’s reaction to the gift, he felt that, since the gift was so intimate and special, Gokudera should have some privacy and time to himself as he reflected on the present and the letter.  Yamamoto didn’t know what was written in the letter (it was meant for Gokudera, after all) but he hoped that Kazumi’s words, whatever they were, would reach his ailing lover and heal whatever wounds that were hurting him and causing him to run away.

* * *

 

As Gokudera was led into one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, the silver-haired teen still couldn’t shake the dread he felt as he held the present and letter Yamamoto gave him.  Tsuna seemed to pick up on his friends worry because he gave the troubled teen an encouraging smile before shutting the bedroom door, leaving Gokudera to himself with the presents at hand.

Feeling so unsure of what to do with himself, Gokudera just stood in the middle of the room, glancing between the present and the letter he held in each hand.  If he was completely honest with himself, he was intrigued about what Yamamoto had gotten him and why he thought it was best that he opened his gifts in secret.  But, on the other hand, it was because of that reason why that the silver-haired teen was so nervous about opening the gifts to begin with.  He had been preparing himself for this night during the day and he had promised himself that he wouldn’t accept any gifts from Yamamoto.  He also promised himself that he would ignore the taller teen as much as possible so that the Yamamoto would take the hint that he wasn’t ‘interested’ in him anymore.

The silver-haired teen shuddered as he remembered the look of desperation on Yamamoto’s face and the pleading tone in his voice.  Just remembering his interaction with his lover a few moments prior was enough for the storm guardian to be overcome with guilt.  Because of the smaller teen’s guilty conscious, he had accepted Yamamoto’s gifts. How was he supposed to turn the other down when his face looked like that?!

As Gokudera tried to suppress the anger he felt towards himself for submitting to Yamamoto’s wishes once again, the smaller teen did as he was asked and decided to read the letter first.  Placing the small gift on the bed, Gokudera carefully peeled open the envelope and retrieved the multi-paged letter.  After he unfolded the papers, he started to read, quickly noting that the handwriting was very neat and precise and very feminine in its structure.  More curious than ever, the feisty Italian began to actually take in the words on the paper.  It took only a few moments of reading for Gokudera’s face to turn deathly pale, his hands shaking as he tightly gripped the papers in his hands as his eyes widened in disbelief.

This letter…this letter was from his mother!

The silver-haired teen felt his heart stop at the very thought, almost refusing to believe what he held in his hands.  He read the beginning of the letter over again to make sure that he hadn’t been fooled but, the ‘woman’s’ handwriting went on to discuss things about his family that Gokudera would only know.  This **_was_** his mother!

Gokudera could feel a weird mixture of elation and disbelief hit him as he held the letter in his hands.  What did the rest of the letter say?!  As a feeling of excitement overcame him, Gokudera read on, noticing that the letter went on to mention how Yamamoto met up with her in Tokyo and about the conversation they had. The silver-haired teen could feel his breath hitch and his eyes burn with jealousy as he read the affectionate words that were directed towards the black-haired athlete. 

This was his mother, right?  Why was she talking so affectionately about Yamamoto?  Shouldn’t she be talking about him, her **_son_**?  Did she like Yamamoto better?!

Trying to suppress the jealous and childish rage that was building within him, Gokudera continued to read the letter, his erratic emotions causing him to fail in taking in the words that he read until he came to a very interesting part in the letter; the mention of a promise ring.  Now that he was paying attention again, Gokudera read that the present for him was a promise ring that his mother wanted to give him by request of Yamamoto.  Gokudera wasn’t really sure on how to take this information but when he got to the part where his mother explained that the promise ring was given to her by his father, nothing seemed to matter anymore. 

Gokudera **_refused_** to read the rest of the letter.

The Italian boy fisted the half-read letter to his side in white-knuckled rage as he bit his lip to keep himself from screaming out in frustration.  Gokudera’s raging mind was filled with only a few key thoughts, those very thoughts running rampant through his head.  Yamamoto had got to meet his mother.  **_His mother_**!  The one person he would have given everything to see again; to talk with her, to know who she was!  And Yamamoto got to do that instead of him?!  Not only that, his mother seemed be rather taken with the tall baseball idiot and couldn’t stop talking about him in the letter, a letter that was supposed to be meant for her son!  And then, of all things, Yamamoto wanted to give him this memento from his mother, knowing full well that the ring was from his bastard of a father, the person that he hated most!  Did that idiot think that this would be a good present?!  A ring from his father and a letter from his mother that only talked about Yamamoto?!

With enraged tears spilling down his cheeks, Gokudera lost what little control he had left and grabbed the present off the bed.  Not caring on how much noise he was making, the furious bomber threw open the door to the guest room and stormed down the stairs.  All he wanted was to get out of there, to get as far away from Yamamoto as possible, to be completely rid of that stupid, idiotic, asshole who only served to make his life more difficult and painful. 

Gokudera was absolutely sick of it.  He wanted nothing to do with Yamamoto, not anymore.

The furious teen had slipped on his shoes and was in the front yard of the Sawada residence by the time someone stopped him.  Yamamoto and everyone else in the living room had heard Gokudera running down the stairs but the young baseball player was the only one who got up to check out what was going on.  When he had seen Gokudera run out the front door, Yamamoto had given chase after slipping on his shoes and was able to stop the silver-haired teen from going too far.  Just what had happened to make Gokudera react this way?  Why was he still running away?!

“Gokudera, what’s wrong?!” Yamamoto exclaimed as he held onto his companion’s arm with one of his hands, his eyes filled with worry and confusion.

The silver-haired teen’s only answer was to turn around in the taller boy’s grip and shove the letter and unopened present he held into Yamamoto’s chest, affectively making the raven-haired teen let go of him in surprise as he scrambled to hold the gifts before they fell to the ground.  Before Yamamoto could question what was going on again, Gokudera was screaming in his face.

“So that’s what you were doing in Tokyo?!  Getting all chummy with my mother while I was stuck in a literal hellhole with my fucking **_father_**?!  I bet you’re really proud of yourself, huh?!  I bet you feel so lucky that you got to know her that you couldn’t wait to rub it in my face!”

Yamamoto was taken aback by the sudden hostility directed towards him. As he processed the other teen’s words, the raven-haired teen couldn’t help but be slightly offended by Gokudera’s assumptions.  “I would **_never_** do that to you. I couldn’t help who I met when I was transported to Tokyo, Gokudera,” Yamamoto replied evenly, his voice as calming as a soothing rain.  It was obvious that Gokudera had been stressing over something for a while now, and judging by the boy’s current actions, he had obviously snapped from that stress.

The baseball player's thoughts were only proven correct as Gokudera refused to see reason. His emotions were so haywire from the constant stress he had been bringing on himself that he could only respond in blind rage, the smaller teen unable to process the words that came out of his own mouth.  “Bull-fucking-shit, you couldn’t!” The Italian teen screamed in indignation while his jade-green eyes shook with agony.  Gokudera knew he was being childish at this point but he didn’t really care; he just wanted to get away from Yamamoto.

It was because of the pain he saw in his lover’s troubled eyes that Yamamoto knew that he was just lashing out in anger.  “Calm down, Gokudera,” the taller teen spoke soothingly.  “I understand why you would be upset about not getting the chance to meet your mother.  Believe me, if we could have switched places, I would have in a heartbeat, but it was something completely out of our control.” 

Gokudera just scoffed and looked away, his fist clenching and un-clenching at his sides like he wanted to punch something.  Despite his put-off attitude, Yamamoto could see the slight change in his lover’s behavior.  Even though Gokudera still seemed violent, he had calmed down somewhat. 

“Here, how about you open your present?” Yamamoto offered in his still soothing voice as he held the little wrapped box out for Gokudera to take.  “You’re mother really wanted you to have it and I…I thought a memento from your mother would be a perfect gift—” 

“Perfect my ass, you bastard!” Gokudera rudely interrupted with a shout, his eyes alit with hurt and anger as he glared into Yamamoto’s eyes.  “You knew where that ring came from!  You **_knew_**!  And you still gave it to me despite that?!  I could **_never_** be happy with a ring from my father, you fucking bastard!”

Yamamoto was shocked into silence for a moment as he received the heated glare from his lover.  How had Gokudera known about the ring without opening the present?  Had his mother mentioned it in the letter?   Assuming that this was the case, Yamamoto wondered if Gokudera had actually read the whole letter or not.  He found it hard to believe that Kazumi would have only written about something that she knew her son wouldn’t have been too happy to read.

“Gokudera, I…” Yamamoto started unsurely, his hazel eyes filled with slight shame at his boyfriend’s accusation.  “I knew that there was a possibility that you would be upset by the ring because of your father but…” The raven-haired teen’s voice grew more confident as his eyes shone with new determination. “Even though this ring was given to your mother by your father, it shouldn’t matter!”  Gokudera verbally scoffed at this, but Yamamoto pressed on, desperate to get his point across.  “This gift is something from both your mother and me, and it symbolizes something that we truly believe in.  It’s something that we wanted to share with you, Gokudera!  That and the letter!  Did you even read all of it?!”

“What does it matter if I read the entire letter or not?!” Gokudera shot back, the anger in his voice never waning despite Yamamoto’s persuasive argument.  The ring still came from his father so he still wanted nothing to do with it, and he felt offended that Yamamoto would just brush that off like it was nothing!  That last thought only fueled the silver-haired teen’s rage more as he screamed, “I’m not going to read that letter.  I’m not going to accept your stupid-fucking gift, and do you know what?  I was never going to accept it anyway, no matter what fucking present you gave me!  I never wanted to accept a present from you tonight and I didn’t even plan on giving you one back!”

Yamamoto hadn’t been prepared for those words.  It felt as if someone had just run him through with a sword.  So Gokudera hadn’t bought a gift for him like he had feared.  What did that mean for them now?  Why hadn’t Gokudera planned on accepting a Christmas present from him?  Yamamoto had a very ominous feeling as to why Gokudera was acting the way he was, the way he had been acting for months, but the black-haired teen didn’t want to believe it.  He **_refused_** to accept the obvious answer to those questions.

With a heavy and hesitant heart, the raven-haired teen quietly asked, “Why?” despite knowing what the answer would be.

Gokudera ignored the guilt he felt upon seeing how broken the other teen looked, in fact, he was so far gone in his anger that Yamamoto’s question only irritated him more because of how stupid it was.  Wasn’t the answer obvious?!  “Are you fucking stupid?!” The silver-haired teen screamed out in fury, the question only fueling the turmoil he felt within himself.  “Wait, don’t answer that.  That was a redundant question.  I didn’t think you would have been this dense and that you would have figured it out already!  Isn’t it obvious that I don’t want to be with you anymore?!  Why do you think I let us have that misunderstanding in the first place, idiot?!  I certainly didn’t do it for shits and giggles!”

With every word that left the older teen’s mouth, Yamamoto felt as if someone was taking a hammer and slamming it against the hilt of the metaphorical sword driven into his gut.  This couldn’t be happening.  This didn’t make any sense!  Gokudera and him had been so happy together this past year and, despite the past couple of months where the smaller teen had been growing distant, Gokudera had still acted like he cared for him.  So why would he want to break up?

As he witnessed the taller teen’s eyes darken in confusion and pain, Gokudera couldn’t bear to look at him anymore.  Even though he was pissed off like nothing else, he still felt the twinge of guilt that accompanied the knowledge that he was the one hurting the other.  Thinking that he said what needed to be said, the silver-haired teen turned to leave Yamamoto and their relationship behind for good but, just as he took a step to leave, he felt two strong hands grab onto his forearms.

“ ** _Please_** ,” Yamamoto’s voice wavered out in agony, causing the silver-haired teen’s raging blood to finally run cold.  “Don’t go.  **_Please_**.  We can talk things out, Gokudera.  I don’t know why you want to break up with me but, if it’s something I did, tell me!  I’ll do anything!  We can fix this if you just talk to me and explain, so please don’t leave!  We can figure things out!”

With anger no longer rushing through his veins, all Gokudera was left with was the agony of his decision and the knowledge that he was going to hurt his companion significantly. 

“There’s nothing to figure out,” the storm guardian whispered out hoarsely as he found himself choking on his words.  “Our relationship was doomed from the start.  We’re both men, Yamamoto.  This relationship isn’t natural, and if other mafia families or the people within the Vongola family found out about it, we would only bring shame to the Vongola name and to the Tenth.” 

Gokudera could feel Yamamoto’s hold tighten around his arms and hear how heavy the other’s breathing had become, like the taller boy was trying to control himself from screaming or breaking down then and there.  The silver-haired teen tried not to think about how he was just inches away from being held completely against the taller teen’s chest or how close the other boy’s face was as he hovered over his shoulder, his warm breath continuously hitting his ear.

He tried not to think about how this would be the last time he would feel Yamamoto’s touch.

Despite feeling like something was squeezing his throat shut, Gokudera went on to finish his explanation.  “There is also the complication with family alliances, Yamamoto.  Sometimes, the only way for an alliance to succeed is to bind the families through marriage.  The only people that the dons of the other families would accept are people within the other boss’ inner circle.  That means that we guardians would have no choice but to accept marriage proposals from other families.”

There was a heavy silence for a moment before Yamamoto replied in a shaky, yet hopeful voice.  “N-No one has to know about us, Gokudera.  We can still keep this a secret but…maybe we could tell Tsuna?  If he knew about us, there’s no way he would force us to get married to people we don’t even know!  I’m positive he wouldn’t let that happen, even if he didn’t know about our relationship!” The taller teen’s voice grew more in confidence as he held onto the smaller boy in front of him, despite feeling Gokudera stiffen in his hold.  “So please, there’s no need to run away from this; we can make this work!  Even your mother found out about us somehow and she approved of us Gokudera, she approved…”

The Italian bomber tensed even more in his lover’s hold at the mention of his mother.  Did she really?  Gokudera quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts, his anger returning.  Yamamoto was just trying to distract him from the bigger picture.  As much as he loved the idea of…of his mother approving of them, that didn’t matter anymore.  The future was against them! 

“You know that when it comes down to it,” The shorter teen started out gruffly, his voice overcome with irritation again as he repeated himself, “if there is no other choice in making a family alliance but to marry the guardians off, the Tenth would have no choice in the matter, despite his personal feelings. Refusing a marriage proposal could lead to a war between the families. This is **_reality_** , Yamamoto, not a fairy tale.  Everything doesn’t work out the way you want it to just because you want it that way!”   

It was here that Gokudera tried to leave, tried to struggle out of Yamamoto’s hold, but the taller teen held on desperately, unwilling to let go.  “Please wait, Gokudera!” The taller teen begged.  “I know that things are going to become more difficult in the future and everything isn’t guaranteed but isn’t it because of that that we can stay together?  You don’t know if we will have to be married off, and you don’t know if people will find out—”

“But we don’t know if it won’t happen, either!” Gokudera yelled in fury, upset that Yamamoto was refusing to understand.  “It’s better for both of us to separate now in order to save tension and heartache later because there is a high probability that we **_will_** be found out and that we **_will_** have to accept marriage proposals!  Why can’t you **_see_** that?!”

There was a stagnant pause as the silver-haired teen’s words sunk in before Yamamoto stiffly replied, “And why can’t **_you_** see that you don’t want things to end between us?”

Gokudera suppressed a shudder at the seriousness in Yamamoto’s tone.  “Che! Stop putting words in my mouth, Baseball Idiot!” The fed-up storm guardian shouted, still refusing to turn around and meet Yamamoto’s eyes.  “I don’t want to be with you anymore!”

“Yes, you do.”

“N-No, I don’t!” Gokudera wavered out in an almost pathetic voice, the smaller teen chastising himself for sounding so weak.

Yamamoto frowned at his lover’s denial to the obvious, his grip on the others forearms relaxing somewhat.  “But…you’re crying, Gokudera.”

“N-No I-I’m n-not!” The smaller teen barely choked out in denial, despite feeling the tears pooling around his eyes.

“I can see them even from this angle, Gokudera,” Yamamoto let out softly as he stole himself to do something that he had been afraid to do for a while now.  He gently turned Gokudera around to face him, his companion’s eyes widening in shock at his change in position as tears fell freely down his cheeks.  Taking his hands away from Gokudera’s arms, Yamamoto brought them up to cup his lover’s face, his touch comforting as he wiped the other’s tears away with his thumbs.  Gathering his courage, Yamamoto prepared to say what he had wanted to say to his lover for the longest time now but hadn’t because he had feared the other’s reaction.  He knew Gokudera wouldn’t be too happy to hear what he was about to say but there seemed no better time to say it then now.

“ ** _I love you, Gokudera_**.”

The silver-haired teen’s breath hitched as those words reached his ears, his tears falling faster and his heart clenching painfully in his chest as the words repeated themselves over and over again in his head.  The same words that had gone unspoken between them for years, the ones he really wanted to hear but feared of hearing the most. 

He couldn’t do this.  It was too much.

Feeling as if he was ripping his own heart out from his chest, Gokudera tore himself away from Yamamoto’s searing touch as his jade-green eyes shook with panic.  This couldn’t be happening.  He couldn’t say those words back, not when they were destined to be torn apart.

“No…” The silver-haired teen barely spoke out in a whisper as he shook his head disbelievingly, his voice becoming louder with every word that left his mouth.  “No!  I-I don’t—you can’t—I…Fuck! Damn it to fucking **_hell_** , Yamamoto!”

Yamamoto’s eyes clouded in hurt and apprehension again as he witnessed his lover fist his silver hair in agitation, a wild look overtaking his eyes as whatever that had been keeping him in check before finally broke.  Desperate to comfort the other, Yamamoto reached out a hesitant hand as he whispered the other teen’s name in worry.

Seeing the outstretched hand coming towards him, Gokudera wildly swatted it away.  “No!  **_Stay the fuck away from me_**!” The silver-haired teen screamed in rage and desperation as his whole body shook with despair.  Why did Yamamoto have to tell him that now?!  **_Why_**?!  “I hate you!  I **_despise_** you!  I want nothing to do with you anymore! Go fuck yourself or jump of a cliff or whatever, I don’t care! Just get out of my life and leave me **_alone_**!”

And with that, Gokudera turned tail and ran like his life depended on it, blinded by his tears and rage as he stumbled his way through the darkened streets.  He didn’t know his destination and he didn’t care, all he knew was that he never wanted to set foot near Yamamoto again if he could help it.

He never wanted to feel this way towards someone else **_ever_** again.

* * *

 

Yamamoto could only stare after Gokudera in shock as the silver-haired teen vanished into the night.  The last words that Gokudera had spoken to him repeated themselves over and over again in his head, and each time they did, Yamamoto would feel his heart constrict even more painfully than it did the last. He honestly wondered if his heart was just going to burst and leave him there to die in his agony.  The dark-haired teen kept telling himself that Gokudera was just angry and upset and being stubborn like he usually was but then he remembered the wild and gut-wrenching look in the other’s eyes and knew that he had been serious, despite his anger. 

Gokudera was through with him.

The raven-haired teen didn’t know how long he stood there staring out into the darkened streets but, before he knew it, he heard someone running out to him from the house, calling out his name.

“Yamamoto!  Is everything alright?!  Everyone heard shouting!” Tsuna exclaimed in a rush as he ran up and stopped behind Yamamoto, his big, brown, eyes overcome with fear and worry.

At first, Yamamoto didn’t respond as he continued to keep his back turned towards Tsuna.  It was hard to find his voice given the situation but, when he did, it came out as more of a croak, like his throat was parched and raw.  “I-I’m sorry, Tsuna. I…I don’t feel too good.  I think I’m going to head home.  Thank you for your present and for the party.”

As Yamamoto finally turned towards Tsuna, he didn’t look the smaller teen in the eye as he went and retrieved the letter and present from Gokudera’s mother that he had left on the ground when he had ran to stop Gokudera from leaving earlier.  As he retrieved the gifts and started walking away, he heard Tsuna call out to him again, asking where Gokudera had gone. 

Yamamoto’s silence was answer enough as he headed out into the darkened streets of Namimori, his head hung low and his eyes taking in nothing as he walked home in shock.  The taller teen had felt despair before but never like this, like his very life was being sucked out of him with every step he took.

It was over.  It was all over.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, school is just kicking my butt right now. I have no time for anything! At least I was finally able to edit this chapter, though lol. This chapter is more of a set up for the following chapter and the ones beyond it, so I hope it's not too boring for you guys compared to the last chapter. Yama and Dera have to deal with the drama they created before things can really change for them. With that, the only warning I have is Gokudera's potty mouth. I hope you enjoy!

It could have been minutes, hours, even days or weeks before Yamamoto arrived home; in all honesty, the taller teen wouldn’t have known because he wasn’t paying attention to anything at the moment.  For all he knew, this wasn’t even his house and his body just decided to stop in front of a random building because it felt like it.  Time and place meant nothing to him; the only thing that seemed to matter were the two gifts he held in his hands, one a crumpled up letter, the other a perfectly wrapped gift box containing a promise ring.

A promise he wasn’t able to keep.

Yamamoto swallowed thickly as he stared down at the gifts in his hands.  He was used to the feeling of failure when it came to his studies, and even when it came to baseball games and fights to protect his ‘family’, but this failure, the failure of keeping the person he loved close to him, the failure in fixing their problems, the failure in keeping his promise to Gokudera’s deceased mother, was on a completely different level.  It was a sense of failure so strong that the raven-haired teen wondered if anything he did in his life would make up for what he had lost.

It was here that the taller teen felt something other than despair as a rush of bitter-cold wind blew down the street.  Yamamoto shivered uncontrollably in surprise, the rush of air waking him from his depressive stupor.  The taller boy was suddenly more aware of his surroundings as he stared up at the building he stood in front of, the words ‘Takesushi’ barely illuminated within the darkness by a nearby street lamp.

Yamamoto felt a rush of surprise run through him as he took in the title of his family’s shop.  He hadn’t been hallucinating earlier.  His feet **_had_** unconsciously led him back home.  The taller teen almost laughed bitterly at the thought.  Truthfully, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go in.  The taller teen knew that his old man would notice that something was wrong—no, **_horribly_** wrong—and he would question him.  Yamamoto really didn’t feel like talking about the greatest failure in his life at the moment.

The young athlete was contemplating about whether he should just head to a hotel instead but another gust of winter wind decided for him.  As the wind seemed to pierce his very bones, Yamamoto finally realized that he had left Tsuna’s house without his winter coat.  The taller teen almost lost himself to a fit of hysterical laughter at the thought that he had been so far gone in his misery that he hadn’t even noticed the chill of the winter air until he got home.

Thankfully, Yamamoto controlled the urge to laugh at his state of mind since it wasn’t exactly the most stable at the moment.  It wasn’t a laughing matter at all and, as another moment of clarity hit him, he realized that if he had actually succumbed to the temptation, then his dad would have heard him and **_grilled_** him on what was wrong. After all, what parent wouldn’t be concerned if they found their child standing outside their house in the middle of winter without a coat and laughing hysterically to himself? Yamamoto didn’t want that.  He couldn’t bring himself to discuss with his father on what was wrong at the moment. In fact, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be ready to talk about it ever.  In all honesty, he wanted to forget; he wanted to head upstairs and sleep and wake up in the morning and realize that everything that had happened that night was just a really bad nightmare.

**_That’s_** what he wanted.

Knowing that it would have been suicidal to walk to a hotel without a coat, Yamamoto gathered his courage and opened the door to his house. The taller teen was taken by surprise as the light from within attacked his eyes like merciless daggers as he adjusted from the darkness outside.  As he scrunched his eyes up in pain, Yamamoto quietly shut the door behind him in hope that his father wouldn’t notice his return but the world seemed to be entirely against him that night, because Tsuyoshi had just walked out from the kitchen with a broom in his hand.

“Ah, Takeshi!” The older man greeted in a surprised tone, bestowing his son with a fatherly smile, despite the shock he felt.  “I didn’t expect you to be back so early.  How was the party?”

While Tsuyoshi had been asking his questions, Yamamoto had been in the process of quickly slipping out of his shoes and making a beeline for the stairs to escape before his father’s parental radar came on and noticed that something was wrong. 

Of course, the moment that Yamamoto didn’t answer his father’s questions and had briskly walked up the stairs towards his room, Tsuyoshi knew that something bad had happened at the party.  He had actually had a feeling that something was wrong the moment he saw his son arrive home after only being gone for two hours, without his winter coat, and still holding the gifts that he had left with earlier.  Oh yes, Tsuyoshi knew something had gone wrong, but he decided to give his son space.  After he let his son sleep on whatever problem that had come up (he assumed it was the problem that had been bothering him for the last month or so, since his son had been acting so depressed lately) he would gauge how bad the situation really was in the morning when he saw Takeshi again.  From there, he would figure out if he needed to step in and talk to his son or just let him figure out the problem himself.  After all, Takeshi was almost a grown man now and had the ability to handle his own problems now without his father’s input.

With a heavy, worry-filled sigh, Tsuyoshi took the broom he had in hand and started sweeping up his recently closed shop.  Something told him that their Christmas wouldn’t be a happy one this year.

* * *

 

Beautiful Christmas morning light shone through the windows of every house in Namimori, and Gokudera’s apartment was no exception.  As the overly-happy beams of light penetrated his bedroom window and directly into his sleeping eyes, the smoking bomber awoke with a start.  The silver-haired teen stared groggily at his window for about a minute before his sleep addled brain took in the rest of his surroundings with an air of confusion.  A couple minutes later, after processing that he was actually in his bedroom and still wearing his clothes from last night’s party, Gokudera wondered on how he had actually gotten home last night.  He didn’t remember a single thing after he had left the party. The only thing that stuck out in the older teen’s mind was the broken face of Yamamoto after he had finally ended things between them the night before. 

At the reminder, the exhausted teen buried his face into his pillow as a pitiful moan left his lips.  He had hardly gotten any sleep last night even after crying himself into exhaustion, Yamamoto’s face being the one that haunted his dreams and woke him up every time he tried to sleep, tried to forget. 

But he couldn’t forget, no matter how hard he tried.

The last moments he shared with Yamamoto had been replaying in his head since he had run away from the taller teen, never stopping in their relentless torture as if they were mocking him, telling him that he was the reason why Yamamoto and him were in such pain.  Gokudera couldn’t stop the horrible guilt that twisted in his gut at the thought, but then he would remember the last words that Yamamoto said to him that night, and the anger and pain he felt towards the other would resurface.  He truly hated Yamamoto for making things so difficult last night and for saying….for saying those three words he had never wanted to hear.  Gokudera kept telling himself that his decision to leave Yamamoto was for the best, that it was the right decision, and that Yamamoto was the one in the wrong, that Yamamoto was the reason he was feeling so much pain now.

Yeah, that’s right!  If Yamamoto would have just listened to him and hadn’t said those words last night then the break up wouldn’t have been as bad as it was!  Not only that, if the idiot would have realized that the stupid promise ring from his father was a bad idea in the first place, their falling out wouldn’t have been so traumatic.  It was all Yamamoto’s fault that Gokudera was in agony!

…Oh who was he fucking kidding?!

Gokudera continuously slammed his head into his pillow in frustration.  He actually didn’t know what to believe or who to blame for this mess.  The silver-haired teen honestly thought that he had been in the right but…he still felt guilty for hurting Yamamoto like he did, and he was still angry over the ring that Yamamoto tried to give him.  It was his father’s promise ring to his mother!  Why the fuck would he want that?!

Suppressing a scream of frustration in his throat, Gokudera decided to stop wallowing in his bed and to get ready for the day by taking a shower.  He needed to forget about Yamamoto.  Everything between them was over now; just like he wanted.  There was no need to dwell on anything anymore.

But no matter what he did, Gokudera couldn’t suppress the guilt in his conscious and the doubt in his mind.  He **_couldn’t_** forget about Yamamoto.  Thinking that he actually could meant that Gokudera was just lying to himself.

Sadly, that didn’t stop Gokudera from trying.  After taking a quick shower and brushing his teeth (duly noting the horrendous black and swollen bags under his eyes), the silver-haired teen went to get dressed into something that didn’t remind him of last night.  As he opened his closet door, there, smack dab in the middle of his closet, were a couple of Yamamoto’s shirts that he left over there for his overnight stays. 

Pointedly ignoring the mocking pieces of fabric hanging in his closet, Gokudera got dressed and headed into the kitchen to get some breakfast.  Here, the teen was not only reminded of Yamamoto, it was like the taller teen was actually in the kitchen with him as he took in all of Yamamoto’s cooking utensils placed around the kitchen.  The fish-shaped apron still hung on a hook next to the fridge and, as he opened said refrigerator to block the stupid, mocking, apron from view, the smaller teen was met with an assortment of leftover dishes that Yamamoto had made for him.  Even though the last month had been strenuous for them, what with Yamamoto believing that he had took advantage of Gokudera and all, the taller teen had still made him food and brought it over to Gokudera’s house to make sure that the smaller teen was still eating right.  Of course, Gokudera hadn’t had a stomach for anything because of the guilt he felt for the misunderstanding, so Yamamoto’s cooking had only accumulated in his refrigerator until it took up every nook and cranny of the unit.

The silver-haired teen slammed the refrigerator door shut, effectively barring himself from the lovingly prepared—and probably now expired—foods.   He didn’t know how long he glared at the refrigerator and at the katakana fridge magnets sticking to them that still spelt out sushi and baseball (Yamamoto had rearranged them months ago and Gokudera hadn’t had the heart to change them), but, as he stood motionless in his kitchen, the smaller teen could only feel the silence of his apartment and how it was starting to suffocate him.

Not wanting to stay there a second longer with the memories of Yamamoto as his only source of company, Gokudera headed for the door.  He remembered that the Tenth had offered to his guests last night that anyone who didn’t have any plans for Christmas was free to come to his house to celebrate.  With that goal in mind, Gokudera slipped on his shoes and reached for his winter coat on his coat rack but his hand only met empty air.  The silver-haired teen turned his head and stared at his empty coat rack for a second before it dawned on him that he had been in such a rush last night that he had forgotten his coat at the Sawada residence. 

So many emotions hit Gokudera in that instant that he was practically floored.  Everything from anger at his stupidity for forgetting his coat, to the agony of remembering **_why_** he had forgotten his coat in the first place, rushed through him like a ferocious wind.  Gokudera didn’t know how long he stood there in the entryway of his apartment frozen by his mixed emotions but, when he finally got control of himself again, he ran out of his apartment as fast as he could.  It seemed that no matter what he did, everything was connected to Yamamoto in some way.  He couldn’t forget him and the bastard’s memory wouldn’t leave him alone even after they had broken up!

As Gokudera ran towards Tsuna’s house (he kept telling himself that it was just to keep warm because he didn’t have his coat) the feisty Italian felt at a lost with himself on what to do.  How could he forget about Yamamoto?  When would the pain that he felt finally go away?

Gokudera didn’t know if those questions would ever be answered.

* * *

 

By the time that Gokudera had arrived at Tsuna’s house, the silver-haired Italian was completely out of breath.  His lungs felt like they were on fire from running so hard and from breathing in the chilly winter air.  The smaller teen had even started to sweat; the cold winter temperature beginning to cool his body down faster than what was considered safe.  He swore his body was beginning to freeze solid and, if he didn’t get into the Tenth’s house soon, he would become a human icicle.

As Gokudera began to shiver uncontrollably at his predicament, he brought one of his fists up and knocked continuously on the door in a panicked state, desperate to get anyone’s attention inside the house.  Gokudera’s silent pleas for warmth were soon answered as the front door was hastily opened, the freezing bomber coming face to face with his surprised, spikey-haired boss.

Tsuna stood there in shock for a moment as he registered that Gokudera was standing on his front porch with no jacket, dark bags under his eyes, and obviously freezing to death.  The silver-haired teen tried to greet his beloved boss but the words that came out were useless chatter as the older boy lost complete control of his mouth due to his constant shivering.  It was quite a pathetic sight to see. 

Finally waking up from his shock induced haze, Tsuna frantically ushered Gokudera into his home and quickly shut the door behind him.  Gokudera barely registered what was going on as his body almost went into shock at the drastic change in temperature he was succumbed to.  Because of that, he didn’t notice Tsuna leave his side and come back with a blanket until that said blanket was hurriedly wrapped around him.

Gokudera’s shivering lessened somewhat as he grabbed hold of the blanket on his shoulders and wrapped it more tightly around himself, snuggling into its offered warmth.  Finally, the silver-haired teen regained control of his basic motor functions as his mouth moved to thank his boss’s hospitality.  “T-Thank y-you, T-T-Tenth,” the older teen barely chattered out as he stood before his boss with a worn and pathetic look on his face. 

Tsuna couldn’t help but continue to panic as he noticed how exhausted his friend was and from remembering his friend’s quick getaway last night at the party.  It was obvious that something bad had happened between him and Yamamoto.  “What’s wrong, Gokudera?!” Tsuna shouted out in his panic induced state, his eyes shaking vigorously in worry.  “You look like you haven’t slept at all!  Does this have to do with the party last night?!  Why did you leave so suddenly like that?!”

A look of shame quickly overcame Gokudera’s features as he averted his gaze away from his boss and his rushed-out questions.  “I’m sorry, Tenth,” Gokudera replied dejectedly.  “The way I left last night was disrespectful towards you and your family.  I…I came back to apologize for that and because I…just can’t be in my apartment right now.”

Tsuna frowned in disappointment, his eyes still panic-stricken and hardening in slight annoyance at Gokudera’s lackluster explanation for his actions the previous night.  The silver-haired teen had completely averted the question.  “I see,” the smaller teen mumbled out shortly, a little upset that Gokudera wouldn’t tell him what was wrong.

Gokudera didn’t have to be looking at Tsuna to know that his boss wasn’t happy with him, and truthfully, he wasn’t too happy with himself at the moment either for various reasons, but that still didn’t stop him from flinching at the smaller teen’s tone. 

As Tsuna gave his friend another glance over, the brown-haired teen couldn’t help but feel a little pity for his companion.  It was obvious that Yamamoto wasn’t the only one that got hurt last night.  Sighing out loud, Tsuna quietly apologized for being short with Gokudera and gave the other teen a comforting smile before offering to lead him to the living room for tea.  Tsuna could only hope that Gokudera would open up a little more once he became warmer.

Even though Gokudera still felt bad and stated that his boss shouldn’t apologize to someone like him, he did accept the smaller boy’s offer and followed him into the living room where he was met with the rest of the Sawada household, including Basil.    

As Bianchi glanced his way, a disapproving frown found its way onto her features as she glared at her younger brother, despite his haggard appearance.  Reborn, who was sitting on her lap, frowned as well as he scrutinized the exhausted and freezing teen before him while Tsuna poured Gokudera a cup of tea and Nana went into motherly mode and started prodding the silver-haired teen and checking him for fever.  With so many different emotions flying at him all at once, Gokudera could feel himself becoming dizzy at just trying to figure out which ones he should respond to first.

When Nana had stopped smothering him (even though, Gokudera secretly liked the doting affection) and Tsuna had handed him a warm cup of tea, the silver-haired teen took the offered cup gratefully and drank deeply, the warmth of the liquid spreading throughout his body and warming him to his toes.  Sadly, the coziness that the Italian bomber was experiencing was cut short by a very stern sounding Reborn.

“Tsuna, you’re subordinates caused a great disturbance last night that affected the party your family had painstakingly set up.”  The baby arcobaleno pointedly turned his attention towards Gokudera, the frown from before never leaving his face even after the silver-haired teen averted his gaze in shame.  “It’s the boss’ job to solve any of the problems that are happening within the Family.”

The future mafia don sighed heavily at his mentor’s words, fatigue riddling his features.  “Yeah, yeah, I know.”  And with that, Tsuna turned around and gently took ahold of Gokudera’s arm, leading the surprised boy towards the stairway and to his room.  Tsuna knew that Gokudera would only speak to him about the previous night if he knew that they were alone and no one else was listening in.

As the two entered the bedroom, Tsuna let go of Gokudera’s arm and sat down at his worktable as he swept a hand out and offered his taller friend to take a seat.  Gokudera hesitated for only a second before he trudged over towards the table, his head hung low and looking very much like a child who knew he had done wrong.  With an exhausted sigh, the silver-haired teen sat himself down across from his boss, placing his now empty tea cup on the table.

Tsuna frowned at the sight of his friend once again before he cautiously and calmly stated, “I know that something has been going on between you and Yamamoto, and that you have been fighting for the past month or so.  I don’t expect you to tell me every detail but I at least want to know why you ran out of the house last night, Gokudera-kun; I **_demand_** an answer.”

It was moments like these that made Gokudera realize just how far his boss/best friend had come in his unwilling quest to become the next mafia boss of the Vongola.  Despite the fear he felt towards his boss’s tone and the unwillingness he felt in divulging ** _all_** of the problems between him and Yamamoto, Gokudera couldn’t suppress the pride and admiration he felt towards his boss in that moment.  Tsuna was only worried about him, it was obvious to see in the smaller boy’s concerned yet stern face, and Gokudera couldn’t feel happier that he had such a loving boss.

Taking a deep breath, Gokudera thought of the explanation he wanted to go with as he continued to look down at the table rather than at Tsuna, still feeling ashamed of his actions from the previous night.  “You remember that Yamamoto ended up in Tokyo after being hit by the bazooka, right?”

Tsuna just nodded his head in confirmation, his eyes boring into Gokudera’s form and reading the other boy’s body language, making sure that his Italian friend wasn’t lying to him or leaving any information out. 

Seeing the look that Tsuna was giving him out of the corner of his eye, Gokudera shifted uncomfortably under the smaller teen’s scrutiny and tightened his hold on the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders before he continued.  “Well, it just so happens that the Baseball Idiot ran into my mother there and they talked for a bit.”

That definitely got Tsuna’s attention.  In an instant the critical face of the mafia boss was exchanged with a look of utter astonishment, the smaller teen gaping at Gokudera like a fish out of water.  “You’re mother?!”  The brown-haired boy exclaimed in surprise as his eyes widened to epic proportions.  “How do you know he met your mother?  Did Yamamoto tell you?”

A look of hurt quickly overcame Gokudera’s features at the reminder in his boss’s words.  “No, that’s what the presents he gave me were for.  The letter that came with my present was written by my mother.  In the first part of the letter, all she basically talked about was how great Yamamoto was…I…” The silver-haired teen swallowed thickly as a rush of jealousy overcame him again.  The older teen tried to gain control of his voice before he continued but his words were still filled with pain and anger.  “That letter and the present that came with it…it was like Yamamoto was shoving the fact that he had met my mother in my face!  I got so angry about that, so I ended up taking it out on him last night and leaving the party.”

Tsuna could tell that Gokudera wasn’t telling him the whole truth but he let it slide for the moment. There was another pressing issue he had to attend to first; an issue he wholeheartedly believed in.  “Yamamoto isn’t like that, Gokudera-kun.  He isn’t the type of person who would give you something in order to make you angry.”

The pain in Gokudera’s eyes receded a little at his boss’ reminder but his grip on the blanket increased until his knuckles turned white, the anger and hurt still evident in his body language.  “I…I know he didn’t do it on purpose,” the Italian teen truthfully admitted with some difficulty.  He didn’t like mentioning his flaws and what made him look weak, especially when it was in front of his boss.  “It’s just that I wasn’t expecting to get anything directly from my mother. So when she only talked about her conversation with Yamamoto and the present, I…got a little jealous because…because I felt like she liked Yamamoto more than me.”

Tsuna’s eyes widened at that but Gokudera quickly continued.  “I know I acted childish in that regard and shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on him, but I couldn’t stop myself because I kept on thinking that…” The silver-haired teen paused for a moment as he swallowed thickly yet again, his frustration towards Yamamoto resurfacing.  “I kept on thinking how unfair it was that Yamamoto got to meet my mother and how he had the time to get to know her.  I hated the fact that he knew more about my own mother than I did, and I felt betrayed, and…and **_replaced_** because Yamamoto had time to truly bond with my mother, unlike me.  It was like he made a better son for her than I ever could!  Whenever I was with her I thought she was just a nice piano teacher who came to the mansion to help me practice.  I never tried to get to know her too much because I believed that I already had a mother, and she didn’t tell me much about herself either.  It was like she was distancing herself from me even though I could tell she liked to be near me…”

Silenced reigned throughout the room as the two boys processed all that had been said, Tsuna appearing sad and pensive while Gokudera blushed and shifted uncomfortably after admitting his inner feelings to his boss.  The silver-haired teen hadn’t expected to talk as much as he did.

“I…I understand, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna confidently spoke up after the brief silence, truly believing every word that came out of his mouth as he tried to comfort the other.  “I really do.  If I was in your shoes and I read a letter like that from my own mother, I would feel exactly the same.  In fact, I often wondered if my mom actually felt that way when I brought my friends over,” the smaller teen mentioned bitterly, a sad smile forming on his face.  “With Gokudera-kun being so academically smart and Yamamoto being gifted in sports and people skills, I often wondered if my mom would have rather had one of you guys as her son than ‘no-good’ me.”

Gokudera finally had the courage to look at Tsuna once again, his eyes shaking with concern and remorse.  “Tenth…”

Tsuna just smiled and gave Gokudera his most encouraging look.  “But I know now that that’s not the case.  My mom still loves me and, even though she loves Lambo, I-Pin, and Futa as well as if they were her own children, she has a special place in her heart for each of them and one of them can’t replace the other.  I know that concerns me too when it comes to what my mother feels about me.  If your mom is anything like mine, I ** _know_** that she didn’t replace you with Yamamoto, and that he could never take your place in her heart, too.”

At this point, Gokudera was looking away from Tsuna again, his head hanging low and his bangs covering most of his face.  The older teen bit his lip as he tried his hardest not to cry in front of his boss, Tsuna’s touching words filling him with hope.

“So, if I’m right in that assumption…” The brown-haired mafia don spoke up again, his confidence never waning.  “Then I wouldn’t think that the whole letter was just about her conversation with Yamamoto.  Of course, I never looked at the letter to see how long it was, since Yamamoto took it away before I could get a really good look at it.  Was that what the whole letter was about Gokudera-kun, or did you not read all of it?  Do you remember if the letter said anything else besides her talk with Yamamoto?”

As Tsuna’s questions reached in his ears, the tears that threatened to spill behind the silver-haired teen’s eyes quickly receded.  Gokudera’s eyes widened in shock upon realizing a certain fact he never noticed before as he peered into Tsuna’s awaiting orbs.  “I don’t,” the older teen mumbled out in shock, completely surprised by his revelation.  “I actually don’t remember anything else written in the letter, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t finish it either…”

A concerned frown found its way onto Tsuna’s face at that statement.  “If that’s the case, then maybe you should read the rest of the letter before you decide if you have the right to stay angry at Yamamoto.  I know you haven’t told me the whole story, Gokudera-kun, and that there is probably some other reason why you are angry with Yamamoto, but I also know that he looked very upset last night after you left.  He said that he even felt sick and went home immediately afterwards!  From the sounds of things, both of you were hurt and upset last night, and I think both of you need to sit down and talk with each other in order to fix this problem.”

Gokudera gave a slightly incredulous and hesitant look at the smaller teen’s notion but Tsuna continued, unperturbed by his friend’s attitude.  “I know that Yamamoto and you have the ability to get along.  I saw that when I was babysitting your younger selves, and I even saw that you guys were getting along better during this past year.  In fact,” The young mafia don continued, a soft yet sad smile now adorning his face. “Since the time we all met each other in middle school, it seemed like Yamamoto and you got along just a little bit better with every year that passed.  I love it when you guys get along, so seeing that all fall apart now because of what sounds like a misunderstanding, upsets me.  I don’t want you guys to lose your friendship over a misunderstanding, Gokudera-kun.”

Tsuna stared earnestly into Gokudera’s pale-green eyes, imploring his friend to understand him but the silver-haired teen still looked hesitant.  The reason why Yamamoto and him had fought wasn’t exactly because of a misunderstanding; it was because of the present being from his father and from Gokudera’s belief in breaking up.  But the head-strong bomber knew that Tsuna still had made a good point.  Even though he believed that Yamamoto and him shouldn’t be together, he should still try to talk things over more calmly with the taller teen to make things less awkward around them so that they could still be ‘friends’ in a sense.  After all, they were part of the same Family and they had to learn to get along and work with each other despite whatever differences they had between them.

With a little more certainty in his voice and a goal now in mind, Gokudera peered back into his boss’s eyes with renewed determination.  For the sake of his Family, he would try to make friendly amends with Yamamoto.  “I understand, Tenth. I’ll go and talk to Yamamoto and ask to read the letter again.”

Tsuna smiled and sighed in relief upon hearing Gokudera’s answer.  “Thank you for understanding, Gokudera-kun.”

Gokudera just shook his head and gave his boss a look of appreciation.  “No, it was because of the Tenth’s words that I realized what I had to do.  If I hadn’t come here and talked to you I would have just kept this bitterness and anger I felt towards Yamamoto inside of me.  I should be thanking you, Tenth.”

The future mafia don just rubbed his head in embarrassment at his friend’s praise, not really sure if he should accept it gratefully or continue to feel modest about it.  “Well, that aside, maybe you should head over to Yamamoto’s right now?  That way you guys can talk and he won’t be so depressed for the rest of Christmas.  Besides, he left his coat here along with yours, so I was wondering if you could return it to him since you’re planning on going over there eventually.”

There was a short pause before Gokudera finally agreed.  In truth he was hoping to wait a couple days before he confronted Yamamoto because he didn’t want to intrude upon him and Yamamoto Senior. That and he was apprehensive about meeting up with Yamamoto so soon after their break up, but the pleading look in Tsuna’s eyes quickly changed that plan.  How could Gokudera say no to his boss when he was looking at him like that?!

So ten minutes later, Gokudera found himself bundled up in his winter coat and carrying Yamamoto’s coat in one of his arms outside of the Sawada residence.  With a bow and an apology for intruding upon his household, the silver-haired teen bid his goodbyes to his boss/best friend and started heading towards Takesushi.  Gokudera kept reminding himself that he was only going to make amends with Yamamoto about them keeping their friendship since he didn’t believe that getting back together would be practical. 

No matter what Gokudera did, though, he couldn’t suppress the nervousness in the pit of his stomach and the worry he felt towards what he was going to do.  Would Yamamoto even want him as a friend after all the pain he had put him through?

* * *

 

Not too far away, a young baseball player tossed and turned in his bed.  Fear and distress marred his sleeping features but not for long. In the next minute, the taller teen flew up into a sitting position as his eyes widened in panic, his breath coming out in heavy pants and a cold sweat running down his body.  A tanned, calloused hand came up to rub through his sweaty, black locks as he tried to get his breathing under control; it was just another nightmare.

Yamamoto had lost count on how many he had last night.

The dark-haired teen could feel the bags under his eyes, his body heavy from exhaustion and stress.  He honestly wondered if he had gotten any sleep the night before.  Since he thought that he wasn’t going to get back to sleep anytime soon, and that he would probably have another bad dream if he tried (it was obviously morning anyway), the exhausted teen dragged himself out of bed and got ready for the day.  After a hot shower that barely woke him up, and after changing into some dry clothes, Yamamoto slowly trudged down the stairs to the sushi shop below, his ears immediately assaulted by joyful Christmas music.

Finding the music to be too jolly for his tastes at the moment, the young athlete made his way into the quiet kitchen with a listless look on his face.  Yamamoto was so lost within his own agonizing thoughts that he barely registered his father was in the kitchen with him, preparing a light lunch and organizing for Christmas dinner.  The ailing teen just sat down at the kitchen table that was set off to the side, away from the main kitchen area that was used for the restaurant, and stared at its wooden surface like breakfast would magically appear before his eyes.

To the taller teen’s surprise, something—it definitely wasn’t breakfast— actually did.  A small envelope with his first name written across it in an untidy scrawl was laid before his downcast eyes.  Yamamoto blinked continuously at the magically appearing envelope a couple of times before he hesitantly took it in hand and glanced up. 

It was here that Yamamoto finally realized that his father was in the kitchen with him.  The older man was standing before him while wiping his hands with a kitchen hand towel, an encouraging, fatherly, smile donning his lips. 

“Merry Christmas, Takeshi!” The older man replied joyfully with a laugh and his trademark grin.  “I know it’s not your typical Christmas present but I thought that it wouldn’t matter once you opened it.  I think you will be excited to see what I got you!”

Yamamoto blinked up at his father in a perplexed manner, momentarily forgetting his depression.  “But…we always open our gifts after dinner…”

Tsuyoshi just gave a boisterous laugh in response as he clapped his son on the back.  “Yeah, I know, and I usually don’t like to break traditions but I felt like you really needed a pick-me-up.”

Despite the comforting hand on his shoulder now, Yamamoto’s depression returned to him.  Who was he kidding?  Of course his father would have realized that he wasn’t happy and that something was wrong.  At least the taller teen felt like he could be thankful that his father wasn’t prying into his matters yet and that the older man was obviously giving him space.  Yamamoto just didn’t know if he would ever be able to share his sadness with his father.  He didn’t want to think about…about losing Gokudera...and he certainly didn’t want to proclaim to his father that he was in a relationship with another man!  Just the thought of his father being disgusted with him brought more agony onto the taller teen’s shoulders.

Finally realizing that he was falling further and further into his self-made-depression, Yamamoto decided to heed his father’s words and tore open the envelope in his hands.  As the taller teen dug a hand into the envelope and pulled out what looked to be two train tickets, the rain guardian’s eyes widened in surprise as he quickly glanced up towards his father again, his hazel eyes silently begging for an explanation.

Tsuyoshi laughed yet again but, this time, in a more affectionate tone as he squeezed his only son’s shoulder.  “I thought since you’re old enough to be out on your own that it would be fun for you to take one of your friends on a little trip.  Just think of this as my parting gift for you when you go off to college.  Those tickets are supposed to be used on your summer break.”

Yamamoto didn’t know what to say at that but his eyes shone with gratitude up towards his father, a loving smile spreading across his lips.  “Thanks, Pops.”

The older man smiled warmly in return.  “No problem, Takeshi.  Just make sure you have fun!  I don’t want those tickets to go to waste since they were so expensive.  A trip to Tokyo isn’t exactly pocket change.”

“…Tokyo?” The darker-haired teen muttered in slight shock as he checked the train tickets to make sure that his dad hadn’t been lying to him. His eyes lost whatever glint of life they had as he confirmed his suspicions, the train tickets reminding him of his recent time trip to Tokyo and, of course, Gokudera.

Tsuyoshi was taken aback by his son’s quick change in attitude.  He had always imagined his son jumping for joy and excitement when he had purchased this particular gift weeks ago, not going into an immediate depressive slump!  Just what had happened at the party last night?!  No teenager in their right mind would be depressed about a full-paid trip to Tokyo without parental supervision!

The grip he had on his son’s shoulder tightened as the older Japanese man’s eyes crinkled in worry, his voice questioning and wavering in uncertainty.  “Takeshi…?”

There was a brief moment of silence as the younger Yamamoto stared forlornly at the train tickets in his hand and while the elder glanced down at him in worry, waiting for his son to respond.  When Yamamoto finally did respond, it was about something his father hadn’t expected to hear.

“Dad, how did you know that Mom was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?”

Tsuyoshi was struck speechless, unable to process why his son would randomly ask such a question.    Gathering his scattered thoughts back together, the older man took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh as he patted his son’s shoulder.  “Well…” Tsuyoshi started out awkwardly as he prepared himself to tell his little story; he really hadn’t been expecting this.  “When I was with your mother back in college, I had to transfer to another college for a year due to my job at the time.  That time I spent away from her was, well, let’s just say that it was hard to keep my sanity.” The older man let out a soft chuckle as he continued, his eyes going distant again as he revisited years past.  “That’s when I knew your mother had to be the one.”

Yamamoto’s eyes narrowed in concentration as he considered his father’s words, the boy’s face so serious that Yamamoto Senior couldn’t help but jokingly laugh.  “So what was up with that question all of sudden, Takeshi? Have you been hiding a girlfriend from me?”

It didn’t matter at that moment that his father had been joking because all Yamamoto could feel was the sting of those words and the reminder of what he once had.  The young athlete shut his eyes and clenched his fists together as an indescribable pain overcame him, his hands accidentally crushing the tickets to Tokyo in the process.

Tsuyoshi knew what was transpiring then.  Truthfully, he already had a feeling as to why his son had been so depressed lately.  It seemed that his suspicions towards his son’s love life had been confirmed. 

Not caring what his son thought of him at the moment since he hated to see such a look of pain on his face, Tsuyoshi grabbed Takeshi by the shoulders and turned him around in his chair so that he was facing him.  The taller teen’s eyes widened in astonishment at his abrupt change in position but they widened even further when he saw his father stoop down and bring him into a bone crushing hug.  Yamamoto could only sit there in shock as his father hugged him like his life depended on it, as if the force of his embrace could squeeze out the agony that his son felt.

“Remember what I told you all those years ago, Takeshi, when you fell and scraped your knee?” The older man muttered quietly, his voice stern yet wavering with lament as he did the only thing that a parent could do in the situation he was in.  “You were just a little kid and you were crying in pain.  I told you that men weren’t supposed to cry when they were hurt and that keeping their pain inside of them helped to build character and made them grow stronger.  You took those words to heart and always brushed off your pain with a smile…”

Takeshi scrunched his eye up in confusion at his father words as the older man continued to hold him, trying to figure out what his father was getting at.

It seemed he could sense his son’s curiosity because Tsuyoshi continued with his speech, his voice gruff with determination.  “I’m mentioning this now, Takeshi, because I didn’t explain it well enough.  I know you’re hurting now, and what I say probably won’t be able to take that pain away no matter how much I want it to, but…even though I told you back then not to cry whenever you got physically injured, it’s okay to cry when you are emotionally hurt.  Pain like that should never be held inside because it can destroy a man so much more than any fatal cut or broken bone ever could.  So please, Takeshi, I won’t think any less of you, just don’t hold yourself back because of that pride I instilled in you long ago.”

Those words shook Yamamoto to his core as he realized that he had been putting up a strong front around his father because he didn’t want him to think any less of him if he saw his tears.  The taller teen felt so foolish for believing that his father would be ashamed if he saw him cry but, since he always felt his father would feel shame if he ever found out his relationship with Gokudera, he associated that shame with the shame he would feel from crying about it.  He had been holding his agony back because of that and because he didn’t want his father to pry deeper into his pain for fear of finding out the truth. But sitting there with his father’s protective arms around him and holding onto him with all the love in the world, Yamamoto couldn’t hold himself back anymore. 

Tsuyoshi finally received the response he was looking for as he felt his son wrap his arms around him and bury his face into his shoulder, an agonized sob escaping his throat as he finally allowed the tears that had been threatening to spill since last night flow from his eyes.  Even though he was glad that his precious Takeshi was finally letting his agony out, Tsuyoshi could feel anger and rage build within him as he thought of the person who had subjected his son to so much torture.

Before the older man could think more on that fact, he felt Takeshi push away from him, the younger boy’s tears ending just as soon as they started.  Tsuyoshi felt perplexed at such a quick adjustment and could only feel concern worm its way into his gut when he noticed that his son wasn’t looking at him. 

Yamamoto stared down at his feet as he felt the shame from earlier resurface again.  He wondered if his dad would actually still hold him like that if he knew who he was crying about.  As he kept on thinking of that particular matter, the taller teen had forcibly stopped his tears and held them back once again, finding himself unable to cry in front of his father now because of it. 

“I’m sorry, Dad,” the younger Yamamoto mumbled out in dejection as he continued to avert his eyes away.  “I didn’t mean to make you worry.  I’m just feeling tired since I hardly got any sleep last night.  Do you think I can go upstairs and rest for a bit?”

Tsuyoshi could only give his consent as the worry he felt escalated inside of him from knowing that his son was running away from him, despite his earlier speech.   The older man felt lost as he wondered what any parent would do in his situation.  It’s not like he could force his son to stay there and make him talk about what was bothering him when it was clear that he still felt such raw agony over it.  No, he felt it was best that his son had a little more time with himself.  Maybe after hearing his little speech, Takeshi wouldn’t keep his pain locked inside of him now and the healing process could finally begin.

The older man couldn’t help but wonder, though, as he watched his son drag himself from the kitchen table and out of the room towards the stairs with his train tickets still clutched in his hand, if the healing process he spoke of would ever take effect.

* * *

 

Five minutes.  It had been five minutes already and he still was standing outside and staring up at the sign to Takesushi like it was going to bestow divine judgment onto him if he so much as knocked on the door.  Gokudera shook his head to clear his thoughts; his nerves were just getting the better of him. 

Taking a deep breath, the silver-haired teen reached out a hesitant hand and knocked loudly upon the door.  He hated that he was doing this now on Christmas day since he didn’t want to impose upon the Yamamoto’s during a holiday that was supposed to be celebrated with the family.  That and he had upset Yamamoto last night, so he felt that he would only be rubbing that fact in even more if he confronted him now but, as Gokudera looked down at Yamamoto’s winter coat in his arms, he knew that he had to at least give this back.

Oh who was he kidding! Gokudera knew that if he put confronting Yamamoto off he would never do it, and wouldn’t that disappoint the Tenth?!  He had to talk to Yamamoto and set things straight between them and apologize for getting angry with him about the letter.  So that’s what Gokudera kept telling himself as he waited for the door to be answered.  He was doing this for the Tenth and not because he felt guilty.

And it definitely wasn’t because he longed to see Yamamoto!  That definitely wasn’t the case either!

Before the silver-haired teen could delve any more into his personal feelings the door to the Takesushi shop opened and Yamamoto Tsuyoshi was blinking at him in confusion.  It was a good thing that Gokudera bowed out of respect at the next second because he completely missed how the older man’s features hardened.

“I’m sorry to disturb you on Christmas day, Yamamoto-san!” The silver-haired teen exclaimed in repentance, refusing to look up because of the shame he felt in his lov—in Yamamoto’s father’s presence.  “The Tenth asked me to return Yamamoto’s coat since he forgot it at the party last night.”

Yamamoto Senior frowned as the still bowed teenager presented his son’s jacket to him like an offering by holding it out in front of him with both hands.  Taking the coat out of slight pity, since it seemed that it was taking all of Gokudera’s energy to stay in that position, the older man asked in a gruff yet curious voice, “Is that all, Gokudera-kun?”

The Italian bomber flinched as he heard the angered expectancy in Tsuyoshi’s voice, like he **_knew_** that Gokudera was there because he needed to do something else at their house.  “Um…uh…” the smaller teen stuttered out nervously, remembering what it felt like to be at the end of Tsuyoshi’s anger/disappointment.  Truthfully, he hadn’t expected the older man to be happy by any means because he would have surely noticed that his son had been hurt at the party last night, but he hadn’t expected to feel the anger of the older man directed at him!  Had Yamamoto told him about what happened last night? 

Feeling even more ashamed of himself, Gokudera was surprised when he eventually stuttered out.  “Is…um…is Yamamoto available to talk?”

The smaller teen was too afraid to look up and see the look on the obviously angered man’s face but he didn’t need to do that to understand how the older man felt as he replied stiffly, “Takeshi is sleeping at the moment.”

Gokudera was more than ready to call it quits there and accept that Yamamoto Senior didn’t want him anywhere near his son but something stopped him from moving from his spot.  All of a sudden, he wanted to do this, he wanted to set things right between him and Yamamoto.  Not for the sake of the Tenth and for the Family, but for himself.  It seemed like now, since it felt like Yamamoto’s father didn’t want Gokudera to see his son, that it only made Gokudera want to see him all the more.  The little Italian wasn’t going to back down from this fight and he wasn’t going to run away!

He **_needed_** to see Yamamoto.

“I-I left something up in Yamamoto’s room the last time I was here,” Gokudera muttered out his excuse as he boldly peered up into Tsuyoshi’s eyes, his jade-green orbs slightly desperate.  It wasn’t like it was a complete lie since the letter from his mother was supposed to be for him and he assumed that Yamamoto would keep it in his room.  “It will only take a minute!”

There was a tense silence as the older man and younger teen stared each other down, Tsuyoshi’s stern glare never wavering and Gokudera’s shaking in slight fear but refusing to budge out of pride.  Seeing the determination in his eyes, Tsuyoshi conceded defeat and stepped aside, his body language offering Gokudera entrance into his home. 

The smaller teen was hesitant for a moment before he stepped inside.  The air between the silver-haired bomber and his father figure was stiff as Gokudera heard the door slide shut behind him and click into place with a note of finality; there was no turning back now. 

After slipping off his shoes and putting his coat onto the coat rack next to Yamamoto’s, Gokudera started making his way towards the stairs in apprehension.  He could feel the calculating stare from Yamamoto Senior dig into his back.  Gokudera refused to turn around and look the older man in the eye out of intimidation.  Tsuyoshi was actually beginning to frighten him now. 

It was just as the silver-haired teen arrived at the bottom of the stairs that the silence was broken within the shop, Gokudera so shocked by the words he heard that he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Take all the time you need, Gokudera-kun.”

Gokudera didn’t know what made Tsuyoshi say those words but they were spoken with such an acceptance that the silver-haired teen couldn’t refuse them.  Not wanting to disappoint the older man any more that he probably already had (why was he angry with him in the first place?), Gokudera nodded and started climbing the stairs to Yamamoto’s room.  He was more than ready to settle things between him and Yamamoto, and hopefully they could still be friends and they would be happier after they talked.

As Tsuyoshi watched the feisty Italian make his way up the stairs with more confidence in his steps, he could only wonder if he had done the right thing.

* * *

 

Gokudera swallowed hard as he stood outside of Yamamoto’s bedroom door.  He couldn’t hear any movements inside.  Did that mean that Yamamoto’s father had been right in saying that his son was asleep?  How was he supposed to talk to the baseball idiot if he wasn’t even awake?  Did that mean he had to wake him up?!

The silver-haired teen could feel a blush spread across his cheeks at the thought.  He could only imagine how awkward that would be, waking up to the person who had thrown you away the night before.  If Yamamoto was asleep and he woke him up, wouldn’t the idiot think that everything last night had been a dream?  If that was the case, then that would only make working things out between them more difficult, right?

Not really sure on what to do but refusing to back down since he had come so far, Gokudera reached out and rapped his knuckles against the bedroom door.  It couldn’t hurt to be courteous after all.

Much to Gokudera’s fear, there was no reply.

Desperate to not go through the whole breaking up thing again, the smaller teen knocked on the door a little louder, hoping that Yamamoto really wasn’t asleep.

This time, the silver-haired teen was surprised to hear a reply.

“I told you I’m tired, Dad. I want to be alone,” Yamamoto’s muffled voice sounded from the opposite side of the door.  Gokudera was frozen in mid-motion at the sound of the other’s voice, his hand held in place where he had just used it to knock on the door.  The smaller teen never expected to react the way he did just by hearing the other but how could he not when he heard the anger and pain in the other’s voice and knew that he was the reason why Yamamoto sounded like that?

Gokudera bit his bottom lip, guilt sweeping over him like a fast approaching storm.  Would his presence only continue to hurt Yamamoto instead of help in working things out between them?  In all honesty, the smaller teen found himself fearing that he would lose Yamamoto more than he already had.  It was bad enough that they couldn’t be together anymore, but to have their friendship completely destroyed, too?  Gokudera wasn’t sure if he could live with himself if that happened.  Should he just leave now and wait to confront him or should he walk into the room?  Both the Tenth and Yamamoto’s father wanted him to fix the problem immediately but could it really be fixed that fast?!

It seemed like his pride answered for him as Gokudera felt himself grab onto the bedroom door’s handle and turn it.  He had come all this way already and he’d be damned if he ran away now! 

As the silver-haired teen pushed open the door and walked into the room, his senses were bombarded with the sights and smells that exemplified Yamamoto.  Baseball memorabilia was plastered on the walls and around the room, clothes were scattered on the floor in messy piles, and everything smelled of dirt, sun-kissed leather, and freshly dewed grass.  Gokudera would be lying to himself if he said that he hadn’t grown to love that smell.

Steeling himself for the struggle he knew he was going to face, Gokudera turned towards Yamamoto’s bed, shutting the bedroom door in the process.  What his sight was met with almost tore him apart as he saw the tall, dejected form of his beloved baseball player splayed out across his bed, he arms wrapped under a pillow that was buried against his face. 

Before the young Italian could adequately prepare himself for what he was about to do and grab Yamamoto’s attention, the said athlete’s face detached itself from the pillow and turned towards him, his brows knitted together in frustration.

“I said I wanted to be—” The taller teen yelled out in an upset manner but stopped short once he realized that his dad hadn’t been the one to enter his room.  Shocked hazel eyes met just as shocked green as Yamamoto took in the teen standing by his doorway, unable to believe his eyes.  Gokudera just stared back in turn as he held the other teen’s shocked but still hurt gaze, ignoring the longing that the sight of the taller teen produced within him as it twisted in his gut along with his guilt.

The two of them didn’t know how long they stood like that, their eyes hungrily taking the other in as they lost themselves to the moment. 

It was here that Yamamoto was finally able to find his voice as he slowly sat up on his bed, his eyes never straying from the other teen.  “Gokudera…what…” The raven-haired teen started out in breathless wonder, half-believing that he had to be dreaming. How else could Gokudera be standing in his room?  “…what are you doing here?”

That question seemed to wake the silver-haired teen from whatever trance he was in.  Realizing that he was staring so openly at the person he had given up the night before, Gokudera averted his gaze out of horror-struck embarrassment.  “I…” The older teen croaked out weakly, angered by the sound of his own voice as one of his hands grabbed onto his other arm and held it tightly.  Gokudera bit his lip as he gathered his courage to say what he had come there to say.  “I came to apologize for last night.”

Yamamoto’s eyes widened in shock again before they shook with slight hope as Gokudera struggled to continue.  “I shouldn’t have taken my anger, no, **_most_** of my anger out on you because of the letter.” The silver-haired teen chuckled bitterly at the reminder as he tightened his hold on his arm, still averting his gaze from Yamamoto’s.  “I don’t even remember most of the letter because I was so upset about my father’s ring…among other things. I think I only got half-way through.”

There was a short pause as Gokudera fidgeted awkwardly on the other side of the room and while Yamamoto shifted uncomfortably on his bed, rubbing the back of his head at the guilt he felt towards giving Gokudera a present that was originally from his father.  “Does this mean that you want to read the rest of the letter?” Yamamoto finally mentioned as his still hopeful eyes searched Gokudera’s downturned face.  If Gokudera actually read the full letter and saw the ring for himself, maybe he would change his mind about them being together?

More silence consumed the room as Gokudera bit his lip harder.  He could feel the longing and hope in the other’s gaze.  The silver-haired teen tried not to get swept away by it as he gathered his courage yet again and met Yamamoto’s eyes with a steadfast look, his voice stoic and unmoving as he finally answered.  “Yes.”

And that’s how Gokudera found himself sitting next to Yamamoto on his bed as the taller teen reached over to his bedside table, opened a drawer, and took out the slightly crumpled letter and the still wrapped gift.  Yamamoto held onto the present as he gave the letter back to his companion, the smaller teen taking a deep breath before re-reading the letter.  Yamamoto could only look on hopefully as he watched the other read, shifting away slightly at a respectful distance to give the smaller teen space and privacy to read.

Gokudera didn’t notice Yamamoto shift away from him or that he had even sat down so close to the taller teen in the first place since he was so immersed in reading the letter.  It was just like he remembered.  The beginning of it consisted of his mother proving who she was by telling him information about his family that he only knew of and then went on to explain how she came to meet Yamamoto in Tokyo.  The smaller teen kept reminding himself not to get jealous as his mother gushed on about Yamamoto, explained that the promise ring came from his father, and that, since it meant so much to her, she wanted him to have it, especially since it expressed both hers and Yamamoto’s feelings for him perfectly. 

Gokudera could feel his anger over the ring come over him again but that feeling was quickly extinguished once he finally reached the second half of the letter.  The second half consisted of what he wanted to see most dearly.  His mother went on and on about how she learned more about him through Yamamoto.  The woman’s words were riddled with excitement as she listed her hobbies; throwing out the names of her favorite science fiction authors, talking about the latest news about UMA sightings in her time, and even going on to tell him about the adorable cat she had at home and how cats were seriously underrated and way more better than dogs (even though she liked them, too).

A soft, affectionate smile found its way onto the Italian boy’s face as his eyes shook with unshed tears.  The last part of the letter went on to explain how proud she was of him upon hearing him become the right-hand man to the prestigious Vongola Family and about how they were trying to turn it into a vigilante group.  His mother also expressed her worry about how she heard how depressed he had been lately and wished that she could have lived long enough to know him better.  She apologized for the decision she made to stay away from him because of her illness but she did it in order to protect him.  The older woman then went on to express her hope that he would like the present Yamamoto and her had given him and that she wanted him to start playing the piano again, if not for himself, then as a last wish from her.  She didn’t want such talent like his to go to waste because of his memory of her.  To make up for this fact, she also mentioned a title of one of her own compositions, saying that she had written it for him and had even played it for him when he was younger.  After asking him to look up the sheet music for her song for him, just to see if he could remember it (and hopefully play it himself), the letter finally ended with her best wishes towards his future in the Vongola…and with Yamamoto.

Gokudera swallowed the heavy lump in his throat as he finished the letter.  He suppressed the urge he felt to cry after finishing such a beautiful and love-filled letter and for the guilt he felt for misinterpreting it, especially now that he realized that Yamamoto had been right when he said that his mother approved of them.  Even with that knowledge, though, the silver-haired teen still knew that it was best that Yamamoto and him stayed separated.  More pain and heartache would only come from it if they got back together.

During this time, Yamamoto was watching silently, noticing each drastic change in his companion’s facial features as he read through the letter.  Once the look of bitter finality made its way onto Gokudera’s features, Yamamoto noticed that the other’s hand was outstretched towards him, his palm upturned as if asking for something and his eyes still averted from his, staring blankly ahead.  It was here that the taller teen realized that Gokudera was silently asking for the present.  With a look of apprehension, (Yamamoto didn’t like the look on Gokudera’s face since it didn’t look like he had changed his mind at all) the raven-hair athlete set the small package in the other’s hand.

With trepidation, Gokudera slowly and carefully unwrapped the little package that held his mother’s and his ex-lover’s gift.  As he lifted the top of the gift box off and rifled through the tissue paper held within, the bomber’s pale hand finally retrieved the promise ring and held it up so that he could finally see it. 

The early afternoon sun from Yamamoto’s bedroom window shone down upon the ring as Gokudera held it up to the light, the many tiny diamonds and emeralds glittering along the silver surface of the ring in abandon.  Gokudera felt breathless as he became fully engrossed with the beauty that the ring possessed but that didn’t stop the startled choke that emanated from his throat as he found the words engraved into the ring.  The smoking bomber bit his lip as he felt his eyes begin to tear up again.  So that’s what his mother and Yamamoto had meant when they had said that the ring expressed both of their feelings.

‘ _I’ll love you forever_.’

Gokudera tried to smother how touched he felt as he read the promise on the ring over and over again, knowing that he didn’t have the right to hold onto the ring or the promise it held.

The silver-haired teen’s knuckles turned white as he clutched the ring in his palm, his silver locks shadowing his face from view as he broke the silence in the room, his voice solemn.  “You were right,” Gokudera mumbled out morosely to his silent companion as he remembered his mother’s words from the letter that was now lying beside him on the bed.  “My mother did approve of us.”

Yamamoto didn’t respond as he watched the other worriedly, noticing the tremble in the other’s voice.  The taller teen could feel a foreboding sadness overcome him again as he continued to listen to Gokudera’s speech. 

“I’ve already explained my reasons to you, Yamamoto,” Gokudera started again, his voice wavering sorrowfully as he held out the ring for the other to take, still not looking in the other’s direction.  “It’s best if we stay apart because our dangerous lifestyles would never allow us to be happy together.  That’s why…that’s why I can’t accept this ring.”

Yamamoto took in a shaking breath as he glanced down at the offered ring, hearing the silent apology in the Italian bomber’s voice. 

“I’m…sorry…about my reaction to the letter,” Gokudera forced out a moment later, a little bothered that Yamamoto hadn’t taken the ring from him yet.  The promise held in the ring was beginning to feel heavy in his palm, and Gokudera didn’t like the burning sensation he felt because of it.  The silver-haired teen seemed to struggle with himself a little more before he finally admitted, “I was…jealous.  I was so angry and jealous because…because you got to know more about my mother before I even did.”

Yamamoto’s eyes widened in realization as Gokudera’s words hit him.  He suddenly understood why Gokudera had reacted the way he did when he first confronted him on Tsuna’s lawn the night before.  The raven-haired teen couldn’t help but feel even more guilt at his realization, wanting nothing more than to make it up to the person that he loved.  “If you want, I can tell you about her,” Yamamoto hesitantly offered.

The hand holding the ring immediately closed up as it was slammed down onto the bed, Gokudera finally turning his head to glare at Yamamoto in his anger.  “It’s not the fucking **_same_**!” The smaller teen bellowed in rage.  “I don’t want to hear about her from a second hand source, I wanted her to tell me **_herself_**!”

As the silver-haired teen stewed in his abrupt anger, he noticed how taken aback and hurt Yamamoto looked at his outburst and realized that maybe he had been a little too insensitive, especially since they were wavering on such an emotional thread already with their breakup.  Hadn’t he wanted to be Yamamoto’s friend at least?  Taking in a shaking breath, Gokudera struggled with himself a little more before apologizing again.  It was harder than it looked!  “S-Sorry.  I shouldn’t have yelled,” The silver-haired teen finally mumbled out as his free hand ruffled through his hair.  “I should have said that…that my mother already shared a little about herself with me in her letter.  I don’t know how much of it you already know and I don’t want you to tell me either.”

Yamamoto eyes shone in understanding as he witnessed Gokudera wince at his lackluster ending.  “No, I understand,” The taller teen spoke soothingly but still with a hint of sadness.  He hated how distant Gokudera felt from him now, even though he was sitting right next to him.  “If I was in your shoes I would have probably reacted the same way.”

The two teens’ eyes met for a moment before Gokudera quickly looked away again, his body slumping in what looked like defeat.  As Yamamoto watched him, the taller teen continued to think about what he could do. He still felt like he had to make things up to Gokudera even though it wasn’t his fault he had met the other teen’s mother in the first place.  Maybe it was because he just wanted an excuse for the smaller teen not to leave?

As an idea popped into his head and a look of determination flitted across his face, Yamamoto knew that he had been correct in his last thought.  He understood where Gokudera was coming from with his worries about the mafia but it was time that the other teen had to hear **_his_** reasons out.  He wasn’t just going to give up and let the other walk out of his life without a fight!  Yamamoto owed it to their relationship and to the promise he had made with Gokudera’s mother.  He would just go about explaining his reasons in a more subtle way instead of forcing them on Gokudera like he had the night before.

Besides, he felt that it was time that he shared a different part of himself with Gokudera; a part of his life that he hadn’t shared with anybody else. It wouldn’t exactly make them even in regard to Gokudera’s mother, but the silver-haired teen did have the right to know more about him, since he already knew so much about his little bomber.

With newfound energy running through his veins, Yamamoto stood abruptly, startling his silver-haired companion from his own inner musings.  With a look of determination still on his face, hazel eyes met pale green once again as Yamamoto purposefully asked, “Gokudera, can I show you something?”

Confusion crossed the smaller teen’s face but only for a moment as he noticed the pleading look in his taller companion’s eyes.  Gokudera didn’t know what came over him but he couldn’t resist that look.  Feeling like he really had nothing more to lose (that and he hadn’t accomplished his mission about getting Yamamoto to stay friends with him yet) the silver-haired bomber hesitantly nodded in assent as he offered the ring and the letter back to Yamamoto. 

The taller teen appeared hurt by the smaller teen’s actions but only for a second as determination reappeared in his eyes.  Taking the letter and ring and carefully replacing them in his bedside drawer once again, the raven-haired teen headed towards his bedroom door and asked Gokudera to politely follow him.  The silver-haired teen couldn’t quell the sense of intrigue and mystery he felt as he followed after his taller companion, leaving the gift box and the wrapping paper that had contained his mother’s ring on the bed where he left them.

As Gokudera closed the door behind him, he sent a silent and heart-wrenching goodbye to his mother’s letter and the promise ring he left behind.  He knew he wouldn’t be back for them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, this chapter came a little faster, but I had some extra time on my hands. I hope you guys like what I did with concerns to Yamamoto in this chapter =) The only warning I have is Gokudera's swearing problem, even though it's not that bad in this chapter.

A slightly awkward silence hovered over the two boys as they made their way down the stairs to the main restaurant below, Yamamoto determinedly leading the way while Gokudera followed hesitantly behind him.  As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Yamamoto was about to turn into the hallway that led to the customer bathrooms when a gruff, yet questioning, voice stopped him.

“Huh? Takeshi?  What are you doing?” Tsuyoshi asked perplexedly from his place by the stereo, a couple of Christmas CD’s in his hand.  He hadn’t expected to see his son come down from his room so soon (it had only been about an hour), and with such a determined look on his face, a vast difference from what he looked like a couple hours prior. The older man’s questioning gaze quickly turned and landed on Gokudera, who was standing awkwardly off to the side.  The silver-haired teen appeared lost, as if he didn’t know where to look, the other’s eyes refraining from landing on either of the Yamamoto’s because of the uncertainty he felt around them.

“We’re just heading towards the living room,” Yamamoto replied sincerely, his expression serious, but his eyes telling a different story as they silently begged his father not to interfere.

The confusion that Tsuyoshi felt only increased as he picked up on his son’s attitude.  He assumed that everything wasn’t settled with Takeshi’s problem yet, if the air between him and Gokudera was anything to go by, so why would the both of them be heading towards the living room?  Were they going to watch TV or something?  No, that couldn’t be it.  Why would Takeshi be acting so serious over something like that?

Unsure if he should butt into his son’s problem more or just leave things as they were, Tsuyoshi decided to ask.

“Oh…well then, um…will Gokudera-kun be staying for dinner then?”

It was here that Gokudera finally joined in on the conversation, a flustered noise emanating from the smaller teen’s throat as he quickly stuttered out. 

“A-Ah, n-no, I won’t be staying, Yamamoto-san!  I could never impose upon you during Christmas—” 

“Yeah, he will, Dad.  You can set out another plate for him,” Yamamoto kindly interrupted, a ghost of a smile finding its way onto his lips as he watched for Gokudera’s reaction.

The little bomber didn’t disappoint.  In an instant, he turned towards Yamamoto, a look of bewildered annoyance on his face. 

“Wha—?!  Yamamoto!  I couldn’t—”

“Now, now, Gokudera,” Yamamoto started out soothingly as he reached out to pat his smaller companion’s shoulder, but thought twice about it and awkwardly retracted his hand at the last second, opting for said hand to rub the back of his head instead.  The younger teen couldn’t help but chuckle nervously at his almost intimate action as he continued, glancing between his confused father and the now awkwardly fidgeting Gokudera.  “What I’m about to show you might take a while, so it would be rude to keep you long and not give you something to eat afterwards.  Besides, what were you planning to do for Christmas dinner anyway?  Were you going to go over to Tsuna’s?”

The silver-haired teen shifted his eyes away and quietly muttered his answer.

 “No…”

Yamamoto frowned at that, not liking the answer at all.  “So you were going to spend your entire Christmas evening alone?”  When he didn’t receive an answer, the taller teen quickly glanced towards his father, a pleading sheen overshadowing his eyes as he silently begged the man to let Gokudera stay with them.

That look was so powerful, so heart wrenching, that Tsuyoshi just couldn’t say no.  Honestly, he wasn’t going to refuse to let Gokudera stay anyway, not after he had heard that the smaller boy had nowhere to go to celebrate Christmas.  He might have been angry with his Italian employee but that didn’t mean he would heartlessly kick him to the curb. 

Having an idea on why his son was heading towards the living room now and not entirely sure how he felt about it, Tsuyoshi conceded with a sad, yet accepting smile. 

“Alright, it’s decided then.  I will set a plate out for Gokudera-kun.” The older man could see that the silver-haired teen was going to protest again, but he quickly held up a hand for silence as he shook his head with a laugh. 

“Nope, you can’t argue your way out of this one, Gokudera-kun!  You’re going to sit down and enjoy Christmas dinner with us!  Don’t worry, we have plenty to go around and I assure you that I’m a pretty good cook!”

Gokudera just sighed in defeat as he awkwardly accepted the Yamamotos’ proposals towards Christmas dinner with an uncomfortable grunt.  Just what the hell did he get himself into?

* * *

 

The older teen couldn’t stop the uneasiness and irritation he felt as he followed Yamamoto down the hallway towards the living room.  Just what was Yamamoto thinking?!  Didn’t he feel a bit uncomfortable too?  Sure, they were on more friendly terms, but they had just broken up!  Didn’t couples usually give each other space during this time?

Still, that didn’t stop the warm feeling that spread throughout the silver-haired teen’s body at the thought that Yamamoto still wanted to spend time with him, that he was still wanted despite the pain he put the other through.  He just couldn’t understand why Yamamoto would still want to be around him, and so soon after their breakup.  Surely the other understood by now that it was for the best that they didn’t get back together?

Before Gokudera could think any more on his inner musings, he and Yamamoto had arrived at the living room door.  Said living room was located at the very end of the hall, down from the customer bathrooms on the right-hand side.  A similar looking door was on the left side of the hallway at the end, which was another door that led to the kitchen.  Gokudera remembered how weird he had found it that the living room was on the bottom floor of the restaurant, and not on the upper floor of the establishment like most other family owned shops.  He remembered that Yamamoto explained when his grandparents (on his father’s side), had built the shop, it had originally been a house.  When his grandfather converted it over to a sushi shop, they had no choice but to keep the living room on the bottom floor, as they didn’t have enough room on the top floor (where the bedrooms and bathroom were located) to build a new one.  In fact, they even had to make the living room smaller in order to fit in the customer bathrooms.

Gokudera couldn’t help but remember that little bit of information as he and Yamamoto made their way into the small living room.  The little room only had enough space for a three-seat couch, an arm chair, a decent sized TV, a TV cabinet that was filled to the brim with movies, and an assortment of cabinets off to the side, which Gokudera had always assumed to be filled with blankets and futons for guests.  Despite its slightly cramped atmosphere, Gokudera found that he  didn’t mind the size (he lived in an apartment after all), and couldn’t help but think that he preferred the living room’s tiny size because of how cozy it felt, a characteristic he had always associated with Yamamoto and his dad (but he would never admit that to them).

Intrigued as to what Yamamoto had to show him, the feisty Italian followed the young athlete over to a four-foot tall cabinet along the side wall, next to the living room window.  More curious than ever now, Gokudera watched on as the tall athlete kneeled before the cabinet and opened its doors, which were located a third of the way down from the top of the cabinet, the top third of the cabinet having a separate pair of doors.  Once the bottom doors of the cabinet were fully opened, the silver-haired teen was finally able to see what was contained within.  Jade-green eyes widened in complete surprise as he took in the sight of a family-made shrine, a beautifully framed picture of a woman placed within the middle of it.

The Italian teen was so stunned and confused about what he saw that he barely registered that Yamamoto was looking at him now, an honest and intent look now adorning the young athlete’s face.

“Since I know about your mother now Gokudera, I thought it would only be right to tell you about my mother as well,” Yamamoto stated gently, his light brown eyes filled with purpose and resolution.  “I know that it won’t make us **_even_** in a sense, since I got to learn about your mother through the woman herself but…I **_want_** to tell you about my mother.  I want…” Yamamoto swallowed thickly, his eyes becoming impassioned with such a strong desire that Gokudera could feel himself become weak at the knees as he stared back into the other’s auburn orbs.  “I want to share this with you, Gokudera.  I’ve never shared this with anyone else before.”

Gokudera had to avert his eyes away from Yamamoto, the expression on the other’s face just too powerful for him to look at directly.  He could feel the warmth that he had felt earlier spread throughout his whole body at the taller boy’s words, the warmth filling him up until he thought it would spill over.  Gokudera tried to suppress what he was feeling, tried to suppress the honor he felt to be the first of Yamamoto’s ‘friends’ to learn about his mother, and tried to suppress the feeling that Yamamoto’s impassioned gaze gave him.  He wasn’t with Yamamoto anymore; he shouldn’t be feeling these things!

Trying desperately to distract himself from the awkward feelings that were accumulating within him, Gokudera continued to avert his eyes to the side as he mumbled, “I thought Japanese shrines were supposed to be kept open?  Isn’t it rude to keep the doors shut on your mother’s shrine?”

To the nervous Italian’s surprise, Yamamoto gave a heartwarming chuckle at his question, the first smile he had seen since their breakup appearing on his face. 

“That’s actually a funny story,” The raven-haired teen chuckled out, a gentle look overcoming him.  “When I was little, I always thought that Mom wouldn’t be able to get to sleep unless we shut the cabinet doors. The picture we used for her shrine is one where she has her eyes open, so I thought since she couldn’t close her eyes anymore, she wouldn’t be able to sleep unless we shut the cabinet doors, haha!  I would get so worried about it that my dad decided to shut the doors at night. It’s kind of become a bad habit of ours to keep the doors shut, but we found that it’s easier that way. Because of that, the shrine doesn’t get so dusty and it doesn’t feel too awkward when I have friends over.  The living room is cramped and small enough as it is, so we thought that if we always had her shrine open, it would make the room feel more stuffy or awkward for guests.  That’s why we keep it closed, haha.”

Gokudera couldn’t suppress the humored smirk that found its way onto his face as he shook his head and kneeled down next to Yamamoto in front of the shrine.  The silver-haired teen’s amusement only increased as he witnessed how the taller teen rubbed the back of his head with a soft and sheepish smile in response.  “You’re such an idiot,” The smaller teen murmured softly, referring to the taller boy’s explanation.

Despite his Italian companion’s insult, Yamamoto was still able to hear the note of affection in the other’s voice.  As Gokudera brought his hands together and bowed before his mother’s altar, giving his respects, Yamamoto couldn’t stop the loving gaze he bestowed upon the smaller teen as Gokudera silently accepted his offer to learn about his mother.

Of course, Gokudera was too busy paying his respects to have noticed Yamamoto’s look.   By the time he turned his gaze towards the taller teen, the Rain Guardian was paying his respects too.

When Yamamoto was done, he reached up toward the top of the cabinet and opened the top set of doors.  As the doors swung out, Gokudera could see that the back of the doors had wooden picture frames glued to them with pictures held within each frame. There were also picture frames standing up in the middle of the top cabinet section.

“These pictures are sort of set up as a timeline,” Yamamoto explained as he pointed to the first picture on the right hand door.  “You follow them like pictures in a manga.”

Gokudera ‘hmm-ed’ in understanding as he let his eyes fall on the right-hand picture (the one closest to him), his eyes taking in the sight of a younger looking Tsuyoshi next to Yamamoto’s mother, both of them wearing college t-shirts and standing in front of a bricked building.  It was here that the silver-haired teen studied the woman’s features more closely.  He quickly noticed that even though Yamamoto was practically a carbon-copy of his dad, the rounder, softer features that were present in Yamamoto’s face, that were not found on Tsuyoshi, came from his mother.  The woman had about mid-length, dark brown hair (a slightly darker shade than Haru’s) and from what Gokudera could tell by looking at the pictures on the right-hand door, she always kept her partially wavy hair up in a messy bun with her bangs framing her face.

The silver-haired teen’s observations were soon cut short as Yamamoto’s voice reached his ears again.

 “As you can probably see in this first picture,” The raven-haired teen started out, a slightly amused tone in his voice.  “My mom and dad met during their first year of college in Tokyo.  My dad was part of the kendo team while my mom played women’s baseball.”

Gokudera followed Yamamoto’s pointer finger as he indicated the next picture to look at.  The next picture frame contained two separate images, one of a close up of Tsuyoshi in his kendo uniform, and one of Yamamoto’s mom in her baseball uniform, her hair messily tied back behind her baseball cap with a bat swung over her shoulder as she made a victory sign with her hands, a crazy grin on her face.

“I remember my dad saying that it took about half a year for my mom to admit she liked him,” Yamamoto continued again, a humorous smile on his face.  “He met her through one of his friends, who had a girlfriend on the baseball team. The first time they met they got into a fight, haha!  I think it was about, ‘girls couldn’t throw fast balls like men could’, or something like that.”

Gokudera cocked an eyebrow at this, and when Yamamoto glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, the taller teen couldn’t help but laugh louder as he continued his story and explanation.  “Even though my dad was in the kendo club, he had a good pitching arm. Because of that, he challenged my mom, who was the pitcher for her team, to a contest to see who could throw a better fast ball.  In the end, I think it turned out to be a tie.”

The silver-haired Italian’s eyebrows rose even higher at that piece of information.  He had never heard of a woman tie with a man when it came to pitching. Of course, he had never read up on baseball history or the sport in general, so what did he know? But with this new piece of information, it suddenly made sense on how Yamamoto’s pitches could be so powerful and fast; he probably gained the conjoined skills of his parents.

“From there,” Yamamoto continued. “My dad would always visit my mom after their club activities, and they would practice their throwing together.  My dad said that my mom would always tease him and call him names because she was still sore about their first encounter. Eventually, though, they started going out half-way through their freshman year.”

As Yamamoto pointed to the last picture on the right-hand door, Gokudera felt a sense of déjà vu come over him as his eyes took in the sight of a stupidly smiling Tsuyoshi with his arm around the brown-haired woman’s shoulder, who looked rather grumpy about the whole predicament because of her scrunched up brow and the scowl adorning her lips.  Why did that picture seem familiar to him?

Before Gokudera could think any more on the familiarity of the photo, Yamamoto continued on with his story.  “My mom was quite a character, haha.  She was always so lively and loved to do many things.  My dad always told me that, no matter how dangerous something was, my mom would always find enjoyment in anything she did.  She was always smiling and laughing, and the only time she frowned or got upset was when people talked bad about the things she liked or hurt the people she cared about.  My dad said that she was very scary when that happened, haha.”

Gokudera’s eyes widened as he realized a sudden comparison between Yamamoto and his mother as the dark-haired teen pointed towards the middle of the cabinet to the picture frames held within. Each picture depicted random dates that Tsuyoshi and Yamamoto’s mother went on, the woman’s ever smiling face a constant within the pictures.  Yamamoto was a lot like his parents.  He looked exactly like his dad and he had the older man’s calming and laid-back personality.  The taller teen even had Tsuyoshi’s stern glare for when he was angered or serious about protecting his friends.  The raven-haired teen was so much like his dad that the silver-haired teen had always secretly wondered if Yamamoto had gotten any traits from his mother.

It seemed like he had finally gotten his answer.

Like he observed before, Yamamoto had softer and rounder features like his mother but that wasn’t all; it was also his smile.  Gokudera had always thought Yamamoto had gotten his smile from his father too, and truthfully they looked very much alike but…there was something about Yamamoto’s smile that was always different from Tsuyoshi’s; Gokudera could just never put his finger on it.

But he understood now.

As the silver-haired teen gazed upon the smiling pictures of Yamamoto’s mother, he could see the resemblance. His mother’s smile, the glint in her eyes, both were so vibrant, so full of **_life_** , that they perfectly captured the emotions that were always behind Yamamoto’s features.  Those same features that had drew him to Yamamoto in the first place.

The same ones that had made Gokudera fall in love with him.

The awestruck Italian quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts.  That wasn’t something that he should have been thinking about!  Not. At. **_All_**.  He couldn’t think of Yamamoto like that anymore.  They could only be friends.  **_Friends_**.  Nothing less, nothing more.

Gokudera was broken out of his panic-stricken thoughts by Yamamoto’s voice once again as the taller teen pointed to the first picture on the left-hand door.  “My mom and dad got married right out of college,” The young athlete stated with a soft smile as he pointed to his parents’ wedding picture, too distracted by his story to notice Gokudera’s worried-filled expression.  “From there, my dad moved back to Namimori to take over the family sushi shop, and my mom moved back with him as she waited for the baseball season to start, since she was spotted during college and was assigned onto a national woman’s team.  My…My mom’s dream was to win the World Series but…well…” Yamamoto glanced at Gokudera and laughed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head.   “Women’s baseball wasn’t as popular as men’s baseball, so the funding for the Women’s World Series tournaments died out.  My mom was depressed but persistent, though, and very passionate about baseball, so she never stopped on her quest to achieve her dream.  She even tried to get onto the men’s teams for a shot at the World Series!” 

This got Gokudera’s attention as he gawked at his taller companion, completely taken aback by that information.  Yamamoto’s mother was crazy!  The men’s league would never allow a woman to join!  It was rather obvious now where Yamamoto got his passion for the sport from. 

Yamamoto just laughed at his companion’s reaction before he continued.  “Haha, I know.  Crazy, huh?  Thankfully, before my mom made the national news because of her persistence, she got pregnant with me,” The taller teen smiled in amusement as he hitched his thumb at the second to last picture on the left-hand door.  The picture consisted of Yamamoto’s **_very_** pregnant mother sitting in a plush arm chair with a very giddy Tsuyoshi semi-kneeling beside her, his head level with hers and his hands lovingly resting on his wife’s shoulders.

Gokudera couldn’t hold back a snide comment as he stared at the pregnancy photo, a joking smirk finding its way onto his lips.  “Wow, you were big even as a baby.”

“Haha, yeah,” Yamamoto laughed weakly in response, his hazel eyes slowly losing the warmth they once held only moments ago.  “I often wondered if that’s the reason why my mom had so many complications during birth.”

The silver-haired teen crinkled his brows together in confusion as he gave his companion a questioning glance.  Yamamoto only smiled a sad smile and pointed to the last picture, located on the far left side of the left-hand door.  His curiosity piqued by his companion’s newfound sadness, Gokudera’s questioning eyes took in the picture that Yamamoto pointed out.  A soft gasp escaped his lips as he beheld the photo of a very worn-out Tsuyoshi holding his newborn child. A sad smile donned the dark-haired man’s lips, his eyes slightly blood-shot and hardly holding any warmth, but still crinkled up in happiness.  Even though the man appeared to be somewhat happy as he held a healthy-looking, newborn Yamamoto, there were dark bags under the man’s eyes that were swollen and red.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what had transpired.

Swallowing heavily as remorse and pity turned in his stomach, Gokudera turned his eyes away from the photo to glance towards his now silent companion.  The smaller teen had to quickly gaze away once he took in of the sight of the young athlete, the once happy teen the perfect picture of devastation as he stared at the very first picture he ever appeared in.

Gokudera didn’t know what to say.  What **_could_** he say?  It wasn’t like he could say sorry for something that happened so long ago but…he couldn’t ignore how broken Yamamoto looked right now either (and it wasn’t caused by him for once).  The silver-haired teen knew he wasn’t good at the comfort sort of thing, though, so he just waited silently for the other to speak up once again, hoping that his presence would be enough to give Yamamoto some form of comfort.

The usually impatient Italian didn’t know how long they sat there in silence, but when Yamamoto finally spoke up again, his words were strained and thick with grief.

“My mother had to have an emergency C-section and…she died from major internal bleeding afterwards.  I…I didn’t know the cause of her death until my first year in middle school, when my father thought I was old enough to know.” The raven-haired teen paused for a moment as he clenched his fists together atop his knees, his auburn eyes beginning to burn with a new sense of determination.

“After I learned about how my mother died, I also learned about her dream, the dream she never had the chance to fulfill.  I hated the fact that my mother never got a chance, so I vowed to get into the majors to win the World Series for her.  It worked out very well for me too, as winning the World Series was my own dream as well. Knowing that my mother shared the same dream as me just made me work all the more to achieve it.”

Gokudera’s eyes narrowed as another realization dawned on him.

“Is that why you tried to jump off the school roof in middle school after breaking your arm?” The smaller teen questioned softly, a touch of anger in his voice.  He hadn’t been in school that day, but with someone as popular as Yamamoto trying to kill himself so publically, it became a hot topic within the school for months.  It was only natural that Gokudera had heard the story.  Back then though, he didn’t care. To him, knowing Yamamoto tried to kill himself just went to prove how stupid and weak the other was, and how he was not worthy of becoming part of the Family.  Now, that was a different story.  Just the thought of Yamamoto trying to do something like that sent anger coursing throughout his body and made him feel sick to his stomach.

The determination in Yamamoto’s eyes withered away at Gokudera’s reminder, the previous emotion quickly replaced by regret.

“Yeah…” The taller teen confirmed quietly as his downcast eyes became clouded with shame.  “When I broke my arm, the possibility that it wouldn’t heal right or that I wouldn’t be able to pitch as well as I used to, worried me.  I thought that if my arm wasn’t quite the same after it healed, I would never be considered good enough to play in the majors.  Because of that, I spiraled down into depression.  I thought that because of my lack of focus and stupidity that I had completely ruined any chance of achieving my dream and, if that was the case, I broke my vow and ruined my mother’s dream too.  It felt…it felt like I had betrayed her again…”

Gokudera’s scrunched his eyes up in worry as a look of pity crossed his features.  He was certain he had heard the last part of Yamamoto’s sentence correctly; he was certain that the taller teen had said ‘betrayed her **_again_** ’.  Did that mean that Yamamoto saw his birth and his mother’s death as a betrayal on his part? The silver-haired teen felt lost on what to do.  Should he call Yamamoto out on that?  Did he honestly want to bring something like that up?

In the end, Gokudera decided to hold his tongue.  If he dug any deeper and asked such personal questions, there was no doubt in his mind that Yamamoto would only get more upset than he was now.  Also, like he stated before, he wasn’t good at comforting people.  No, he would just stay quiet and see how things played out.

As the smaller teen was strategizing, his taller companion felt compelled to speak again, a sad yet thankful smile now adorning his face.

“Well, that aside, Tsuna thankfully showed up and stopped me from making the greatest mistake of my life.  He convinced me that killing myself would do nothing, and that it was a really stupid thing to do in the first place.  Once I was thinking straight again, I…I felt so guilty for what I almost did.  Here my mom gave up her life in order for me to live, and I almost made her sacrifice meaningless!  That and I didn’t even think of my dad before I climbed up to the roof that day.  I didn’t even think of the man that had taken care of me all of my life.  I didn’t even think about how I was going to devastate him and leave him completely alone after my death!”

It seemed that despite his wish to stay out of an emotional situation, Gokudera found himself in one anyway as he witnessed the young baseball player beside him become overcome with grief, self-anger, and disappointment.  As the taller teen next to him clenched his fists and his eyes closed in pain, all Gokudera could do was sit there and struggle with himself on what to do. He felt that he needed to comfort the other (even though he was scared to), but he also felt like this was something that Yamamoto had to deal with on his own.  These were his inner demons, just like Gokudera’s feelings towards his father and his childhood were his.  No matter what form of comfort someone else would give him considering the subject, there was always an internal dilemma within him, and it was something that Gokudera knew that he would battle with for the rest of his life.  Wouldn’t that be the same for Yamamoto in this situation?  Wouldn’t comforting him be pointless?

Why did he suddenly feel so helpless?!

The anger and frustration accumulated in the silver-haired teen’s gut as Yamamoto finally seemed to calm down.  With a distraught and pitiful gaze towards his older friend, the raven-haired teen quietly added, “Do you remember when I mentioned that my dad goes to Tokyo for his college class reunions?  When I was transported to Tokyo and I found my dad in that hotel, I finally found the reason why my younger self had been walking the streets of Tokyo by himself.  My dad hadn’t even noticed that I was gone because he was too drunk to notice anything at the moment.  My dad would ** _never_** act so carelessly unless he was really angry or upset about something.  It was easy to tell that my mother’s death was still a raw subject for him, so to be surrounded by their old college friends was probably too much for him to handle.  I can’t tell you how guilty I felt when I saw that, when I saw him trying to forget the pain he felt because of my mother’s death.”

As he watched the other guilt trip in front of him, as he watched the other’s hazel eyes swim in agony, Gokudera couldn’t suppress the first thought that came into his head.  Yamamoto was too caring, too friendly, and too gentle for the life they would be leading.  Why was a guy like him hanging out with the Tenth and him when they were destined for a mafia lifestyle? Why, when it was obvious that the taller teen had other ambitions?  He could understand that Yamamoto felt like he owed the Tenth his life, but would he really be cut out for the mafia?

Gokudera couldn’t hold it back any longer. As Yamamoto’s sorrowful eyes met his, the feisty bomber gruffly muttered out, “You’re too soft.”

Yamamoto could only blink at the other sadly in confusion, taken back by the other’s words.

“Huh?”  Where was this coming from?

“I said you’re too soft!” Gokudera grumbled out louder, averting his eyes away from the taller teen to hide the mixed feeling he felt as he added, “Someone like you isn’t cut out to be in the mafia.  You would be better off without the Tenth and me by following your dream.”

There was a short silence as Yamamoto blinked at the other teen in astonishment. 

“I’m not…cut out? Heh,” The young athlete laughed out bitterly; this time being the one to turn his eyes away from Gokudera.  “I’m perfect for the mafia, Gokudera.  The Little Guy calls me a natural-born assassin, after all.  Isn’t my mother’s death proof of that?”

Did…Did Gokudera just hear that correctly?!

“Are you fucking stupid?!” The silver-haired Italian blew up in indignation, his jade-green eyes ablaze with fury.  “It’s not your fault that your mother died, you dumbass!  She died because of something beyond both of your guys’ control!  Blaming yourself for your mother’s death is like if I would blame myself for my mother dying on my birthday!  Just because she was driving on her way to my birthday party when her sickness took her doesn’t make it my fault that she’s dead!  Don’t you dare go and blame yourself for a similar reason, you idiot!”

Yamamoto’s eyes widened in shock as he stared at the bristling teen before him, the other’s words permeating his mind and etching themselves into his memory.  He had always blamed himself for his mother’s death and his father’s agony but, the way that Gokudera had phrased it, Yamamoto had never thought about it in that way before. Of course, he had previously thought that Gokudera’s father had killed his mother too, but something must have happened to change the silver-haired teen’s mind about that issue. Was it during their time skip? Whatever the case was, if he thought about his mother’s death in the way that Gokudera had phrased it now, his previous feelings of self-hatred seemed rather…silly.

A small, gentle smile spread its way across Yamamoto’s lips as he realized that Gokudera was trying to comfort him, if only in his own special way. 

“Thank you for trying to cheer me up, Gokudera. **_Really_**. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling guilty but…thank you.”  There was a short pause before he continued, remembering the other thing that Gokudera had said to him.  “With what you said before, though…you know, about leaving the mafia for my dream?  I don’t think I can do that.  I feel like I do owe my mother for our joint dream, but I also owe Tsuna my life, so I just can’t leave him.  I want to do both.  I want to work towards my dream while supporting Tsuna.”  The taller teen finished with a knowing look, his eyes withholding unspoken words as he directed his gaze towards Gokudera.

Of course, the silver-haired teen understood those unspoken words as Yamamoto’s passionate gaze met his. The meaning behind that look, the longing in the other’s eyes, went without saying.  Even though Yamamoto didn’t want to give up his and his mother’s dream, and he didn’t want to abandon Tsuna, there was something else that kept the young athlete on his current mindset. 

He didn’t want to leave Gokudera, too.

The feisty Italian’s anger that had been held back for a while now suddenly exploded as the other’s words rung through the air.  He wanted to do both?! Did Yamamoto just get stupider?!  Despite Gokudera’s anger, though, the smoking bomber couldn’t hide the blush that arose in his cheeks from the raven-haired teen’s earlier look. 

“Are you a fucking idiot?!  You can’t do both!  There’s no way you can be in the major league while you’re still part of the mafia!  You can only choose one or the other!”

Yamamoto’s eyes narrowed a little in response as he held up his hands in a placating manner.

“Now, now, Gokudera, there’s no need to get angry.  I don’t see why I can only choose one. Can’t I try joining the majors and winning the World Series, and then join back with the Vongola after that?  That shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“Are you kidding?!  Of course that’s a problem!” Gokudera shot back in his all-knowing attitude.  “You think that Reborn-san would actually let you do something half-assed like that?!  Who the hell knows when you would actually win the World Series, if at all?!  How the hell do you expect Reborn-san and the Tenth to let you follow your dream and let you back into the mafia, when it’s impossible to tell when or **_if_** you will actually achieve your dream in the first place?!  How the hell could they count on you to actually come back?!”

Even though he understood where Gokudera was coming from, Yamamoto was becoming a little irked by the other’s attitude as he tried to convince the stubborn bomber to see things his way with an earnest gaze. 

“Well, then maybe I could convince the Little Guy and Tsuna about trying out for the majors for one year?  Even if I’m only given a season to try and obtain my dream, I know I can live with that, because I would at least know that I had tried!  I don’t see my mother faulting me for that, and I know that she would also want me to help my friends as well.  Wouldn’t that work at all?  Couldn’t I try for a season and then come back?”

“I told you already,” Gokudera ground out in reaffirmation, frustration evident in his scowl and creasing brow.  “It. Can’t. **_Happen_**.  By choosing baseball over your Family, it shows that your loyalties lie somewhere else.  Do you honestly expect Reborn-san to let you back in after that?  Even though I know that the Tenth would probably allow you to come back, Reborn-san would convince him otherwise.  It doesn’t matter if you talk to him or not, the answer is still either one or the other.  You can’t have both, Yamamoto!”

The silver-haired Italian was startled out of his frustrating explanation by the sound of Yamamoto’s hands slamming onto the wooden floor boards below him. 

“And just why can’t talking things over with Reborn and Tsuna convince them otherwise, Gokudera?!  It’s only for a year!” The taller teen yelled in frustration as his hazel eyes flashed with anger and narrowed pointedly at his smaller companion. Gokudera could only stare back in shock as he was at the rare mercy of Yamamoto’s full verbal attack, the smaller teen noticing that his friend must be serious if he was bothering to call Reborn by his actual name. “Why are you so damn **_stubborn_**?!” Yamamoto continued heatedly as his eyes swam with more despair than anger.  “Not everything is black or white, yes or no, or one or the other!  There are **_grey_** areas, Gokudera!  Grey areas that can be reached through understanding and **_compromise_**! Can’t you **_see_** that?!”

The Italian bomber’s only response was to stare back at Yamamoto completely shell shocked, his mouth hanging partially open in his surprise as his eyes shook with confusion, realization finally dawning on him.  Gokudera knew that the desperate look the other was giving him was caused by something more personal than their previous argument, the other’s passionate stare withholding a deeper meaning along with his words.  The silver-haired teen could feel the other’s glare burn into his very soul as the last words of their conversation repeated themselves over and over again in his head, the weight of the words pressing down on him until they, and the look he was receiving from his taller friend, made the smaller boy avert his eyes away in self-consciousness.

Yamamoto’s glare lessened in intensity upon seeing Gokudera’s reaction. He was about to open his mouth and talk to the smaller teen about his convictions, about how he wanted to be with Gokudera no matter what happened to them in the future, but it just so happened that his father’s voice broke through the silence in that moment, the older man calling the two boys to Christmas dinner.

There was a stagnant pause as the two teens exchanged a quick, hesitant glance before Yamamoto looked away and shut the doors to his mother’s shrine.  The silence between the young athlete and his companion was stifling and awkward as the two boys slowly stood up and— after shuffling uncomfortably for a bit and wondering if they should finish their talk or heed Tsuyoshi’s call— the two boys decided to walk out towards the main area, a single word not uttered between them, and both unsure on how to act around the other.  It was so… ** _weird_** , to end their conversation where they did but, what could they do?  Wouldn’t Tsuyoshi come looking for them if they made him wait too long?  Did they really want the older man to overhear their conversation?

Knowing full well that there was nothing they could do concerning their situation, Yamamoto and Gokudera continued silently down the hall to the main restaurant.  When the two of them finally entered the room, they were met with an assortment of stylishly prepared Japanese dishes, the foods placed on one of the main area’s larger tables with Yamamoto’s father standing beside it.

“Since I cooked so much food, I thought we could eat out here,” Tsuyoshi mentioned with a good-natured laugh as he witnessed the two boys make their entrance, ignoring the awkward air that surrounded the two teens, if he had noticed it at all.

Yamamoto’s only response was to laugh a little uncomfortably and praise his father for a good idea, while the silver-haired teen beside him quietly complimented the older man on how good the food looked.  At that, the taller teen shifted his gaze towards Gokudera, the other quick to notice how distant the smaller teen’s eyes looked, like he wasn’t completely there.  Feeling responsible for the look in the other boy’s eyes but knowing the air was so awkward between them still, the darker-haired boy kept his mouth shut and didn’t try to ask what was on the other’s mind, even though he **_really_** wanted to.   He understood that it probably wasn’t a good idea to ask when his father was right next to them anyway.  In any case, the only thing Yamamoto knew that he could do was sit down and enjoy his dinner with his father and his best friend/ex-lover, and hope for a time to talk to Gokudera again after they were done.

* * *

 

All throughout the rest of dinner, Gokudera remained silent; the only form of noise coming from Yamamoto and his father’s various conversations.  Every once in a while, the older man or his son would glance in the silent Italian’s direction, only to be met with the same exact sight; the silver-haired teen quietly eating his food, his brow furrowed in deep contemplation and his eyes shaking with a distant, unreadable, emotion.  Tsuyoshi gave his son a questioning glance after they were half-way through their meal, and the taller teen could only shrug as he rubbed the back of his neck in worry.  Had it been wrong to yell at Gokudera like he had earlier?  Had he been too harsh?  In all honesty, Yamamoto believed that he had every right to yell at Gokudera, but maybe the timing hadn’t exactly been the best. After all, they were both still pretty emotional and hesitant around each other after…after the break up.

When dinner finally ended, Gokudera finally spoke up again, the smaller teen’s words and posture heavy with gratitude as he bowed towards Tsuyoshi and thanked him for the delicious meal.  The older man just laughed, thanked the other for the compliment, and started to carry off the dirty dishes.  Yamamoto was about to help his dad with the chores, but, to his surprise, Gokudera stopped him by grabbing his arm.

As the taller teen’s eyes widened at the action and Gokudera looked away from him out of embarrassment, the silver-haired teen glanced towards Yamamoto Senior as the older man blinked at the both of them in confusion, piles of dirty dishes in his hands. 

“Um, sorry Yamamoto-san, but do you think I can borrow your son for the moment?”

The older man just blinked a couple more times before an understanding expression found its way onto his features. 

“Sure, I don’t mind.  I can handle all of this myself, so you don’t need to worry or anything.”

And with that, the spikey-haired man left them alone in the main area as he headed towards the kitchen to place the dishes in the sink.  It was here that Yamamoto glanced down at his companion in wonder, noticing the look of hesitation on the smaller boy’s face as he internally debated with himself.  Finally, Gokudera found the nerve to look at Yamamoto again, appearing completely embarrassed to the taller teen, like he didn’t know what he was saying and why he was saying it. 

“Um…I kind of…forgot where you put the ring and the letter…yeah, so…could you, I don’t know…show me where you left them, or something…?”

The taller teen couldn’t hold back the look he sent his smaller companion’s way.  Was Gokudera playing with him?  He was pretty certain that the older teen had seen him place the presents back in his bedside drawer but…that wasn’t the only thing that was weird about the young bomber’s words. 

Still sending the other an incredulous look, Yamamoto couldn’t help but ask.

“But…didn’t you say that you couldn’t accept the ring?  Why do you want me to show you were I—”

“Just show me, you idiot, before I change my mind!” Gokudera snapped in exasperation, an obvious blush marring his porcelain cheeks, the other still looking completely embarrassed that he was going through with whatever he was doing.  Yamamoto was still a little hesitant and confused about his friend’s change in behavior, but when Gokudera sent him a look of utter determination, his steel-green eyes burning with some unknown fire, Yamamoto couldn’t refuse the other’s strange request. 

Intrigued by Gokudera’s behavior, Yamamoto led the way back upstairs to his bedroom.  Something told him that he was going to get his talk with Gokudera after all. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's the next chapter. This one is the reason this story is M rated. This was actually the first lemon I ever wrote, and I think it still stands up very well today. I always wanted to try my hand at a lemon, and not only that, I wanted to try an awkward yet sweet first time between a couple, so I hope I pulled that off. If you guys were looking for a hot and heavy one, then I'm sorry. Just the way the story is written, a sweet an awkward one seemed to fit the best. Hopefully you guys will like it =)

The sun was starting its slow descent towards the horizon as Yamamoto and Gokudera entered the taller teen’s bedroom once again, encasing the room in its soft orange glow from the bedroom window.  Yamamoto couldn’t help but be saddened by the sight, as it reminded him of how late it was, and that Gokudera would probably be leaving soon.  The young athlete’s heart ached at the thought of the other leaving once again, leaving **_him_** once again. 

Trying to distract himself from the familiar pain that he had become accustomed to in the last twenty four hours, Yamamoto walked over towards his bedside drawer, remembering why they had come there in the first place.  As he was reminded of how weird his smaller companion was acting at the moment, and as the memory of his strange and awkward request replayed in the taller teen’s mind, Yamamoto opened his bedside drawer and retrieved the letter and the promise ring that was entrusted to him by Gokudera Kazumi.  The woman’s presents felt heavy in his palms, despite their light weight; the promises held within them, the promises that he had been unable to keep, dragged his mood down even further as he felt the presence of the one he loved come up beside him.

Yamamoto didn’t know why, but he tried to fake a smile, tried to show he was unaffected about what was going on (even though he was still unsure as to what Gokudera’s objective was), as he turned towards Gokudera and held out the letter and ring for the other to take.

“Here you go, Gokudera,” the raven-haired teen strained out in an unconvincingly happy voice.  “You said you wanted to know where I put the letter and the ring so that you could look at them again, right?”

Of course, Yamamoto was just guessing as to what the silver-haired teen’s motive was in knowing where the letter and the ring were kept.  For all he knew, Gokudera just wanted to know that they were being kept in a safe place.  Just because he couldn’t accept the ring didn’t mean he didn’t care what happened to it and the letter.  They were gifts from his mother, after all.

As Yamamoto continued to hold out Kazumi’s gifts for his friend to take, the fake smile still plastered onto his face, Gokudera could only stare at the offered objects with a pained expression as thousands of different emotions hit him at once.  He felt so mixed on what he was going to do.  Fear, desire, anger, hope, all of these emotions and more bombarded him as he stared at the ring and the letter, the young bomber wishing that Yamamoto would stop smiling when it was obvious that just holding the presents were torture for him.  Gokudera hated that it was because of him that Yamamoto was in pain now. 

The silver-haired teen knew that the ring and the letter symbolized Yamamoto’s feelings for him, and as he continued to stare down at those gifts, Gokudera thought it was like the other was holding his own heart in his hands and he was offering the smaller teen to take it.  He was offering the other to take his heart and throw it back at him, like Gokudera had the night before and just hours prior.

The Storm Guardian’s heart gave a painful twinge at the thought, and at the reason behind Yamamoto’s current expression.  No matter how badly he tried to fake it, it was still easy to see the fear and apprehension in the other’s posture, like he was just waiting for Gokudera to stomp all over his feelings again.

It made Gokudera absolutely furious with himself.

With a little more force than deemed necessary, the irritated Storm Guardian ripped the letter and the ring from the other’s hands, Yamamoto wincing a little at the abrupt action.  More silence ensued as Gokudera stared down at the precious objects in his hands with an unfathomable expression on his face, Yamamoto shuffling his feet awkwardly before him as he rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what he was supposed to do now.

Before Yamamoto could figure out what he was going to do, Gokudera was walking past him and up to his bedside table.  There, he placed the letter back within and gently shut the drawer again as he clutched the promise ring in his left hand.  Yamamoto watched on in awestruck silence as Gokudera stayed in his position with his back still turned towards him; the silver-haired teen seeming to be building himself up to do something as he held his clutched hand up before him, his body shaking as he stared down at the appendage that held the ring in its grasp.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Gokudera finally turned to face Yamamoto, the silver-haired teen’s eyes alit with determination and still holding his fist up before him at chest level, right where his heart would be.

“I…” The smaller teen started out before he swallowed heavily, his voice more hesitant than what his expression would have anyone believe.  Gokudera closed his eyes momentarily as he braced himself for what he was about to do.  With more courage than what he had before, the silver-haired teen finally said what he had been planning to say since he had asked Yamamoto to show him the ring. 

“I’m willing to accept the ring…if…if we can come to a compromise,” Gokudera stated gently, his voice thick with determination, but also having a self-conscious air; like he knew that he was going to have to open himself, that he was going to have to expose himself and his weaknesses to Yamamoto even more, and that the very thought made him feel out of his comfort zone.

To say that Yamamoto was shocked was an understatement.  All he could do was stare at the silver-haired teen with a dumbfounded look on his face, never expecting to hear the word ‘ ** _compromise_** ’ leave the other’s lips.  So was this what Gokudera had been thinking of throughout dinner?  Had the other actually taken his words to heart?

It was here that Yamamoto realized that Gokudera was waiting for an answer, the other glancing at him with hesitant expectancy.  Since he was still shocked about Gokudera’s suggestion, Yamamoto could only nod his head in silence, unable to find the words he wanted to say, but still intrigued by Gokudera’s proposition nonetheless.

With the other’s hazel eyes urging him on to explain, Gokudera took another deep breath before he began.

“I’ve…I’ve already told you that explaining to Reborn-san and the higher ups in the Vongola Family about how you want to take a year off for baseball would be difficult, if not impossible, unless you wanted to cut your ties to the Family indefinitely.  And, truth be told, I really shouldn’t give a shit, or **_care_** , for that matter since this is your business,” The smaller teen grumbled out, his voice rough and cold. 

Yamamoto knew it was all a façade though, that Gokudera was just trying to act tough for the moment.  That still didn’t stop the taller teen from frowning at the other’s tone.  The words still stung, even though they were just a cover up.

Seeing the other frown, Gokudera quickly continued, his words rushing out in embarrassment as a red flush came to his cheeks.

“W-Well, what I’m trying to say is that, you know…if I considered you as someone s-special to me…” The silver-haired teen stuttered out, practically choking on the word ‘special’ as it left his lips.  “I might…consider helping persuade them to let you go for a year, or…something.”

Hazel eyes scrunched up in confusion at Gokudera’s words, the taller teen not quite understanding what the smaller teen was getting at.  What did he mean, ‘if he considered him special’?  Didn’t Gokudera consider him as someone important to him by now?  They’ve been through so much together, how could he not?  Well…the smaller teen had insisted on breaking up in the first place…No!  He remembered the look in Gokudera’s eyes that night. The silver-haired teen was torn about his decision…

Yamamoto brought a hand up to his aching head and rubbed the side of it, the look of confusion still on his face as he glanced in Gokudera’s direction.

“Just…what are you getting at, Gokudera?  I don’t think I understand…”

“You’re such an idiot,” Gokudera let out under his breath, a semi-guilty look adorning his face.  He knew that what he had said hadn’t been a good explanation. 

“It’s just…” Gokudera started again, the fingers on his free hand combing through his hair in frustration as the other clenched the ring in his palm tighter.  “I’m…I’m a horrible match for you.  I call you names, I’m always yelling, I hardly ever tell you something straight to your face…” The silver-haired teen swallowed heavily as he felt himself beginning to choke up, the guilt he had felt for the past month overtaking him.

“You deserve someone so much better than me.  I’m honestly surprised why you put up with someone like me in the first place!” The smaller teen finally yelled out.  “All I do is hurt you, and I can’t promise that I will never stop hurting you…I’m just not…I’m not good with things like this…with relationships.  Not to mention, we’re going to be applying to different colleges and we’ll hardly be able to see each other… ”

Now Yamamoto was even more confused, not to mention nervous, with where Gokudera was probably taking the conversation.  At first, Gokudera had said he wanted to compromise, and then he said that he would help persuade the Little Guy about him leaving in a year if he considered him as someone special, and now he was telling him that he wasn’t good enough for a relationship. It sounded like he was going to drive the final nail into the coffin that contained his heart and completely throw him away.   Why was Gokudera doing this to him again?!  Wasn’t once, no, twice enough?!

Quick to notice the look of pain on his companion’s face, Gokudera was quick to continue. He didn’t want Yamamoto to get the wrong impression; after all, he wasn’t done explaining his compromise.

“W-What I’m trying to say is…” Gokudera shakily rushed out, the feisty bomber slowing down as he reached the end of his speech.  “Even though I don’t deserve you, and even though we will hardly get to see each other in college, I…I’ll help you persuade Reborn-san to let you join the majors for a year if…if you’re still willing to accept me back.”

Yamamoto could feel his breath hitch and his eyes widen in complete surprise as he heard the smaller teen’s plea.   He had been so prepared for Gokudera to throw him away again, to restate that they couldn’t be together no matter what he thought, that he hadn’t expected for the other to actually ask if he would want him back.  Yamamoto was completely speechless, almost believing that he had heard Gokudera incorrectly.  After months of pushing him away and firmly believing that being together would only hurt them in the long run, Gokudera had changed his opinion on the matter in the span of an hour or so just because Yamamoto had yelled at him about the other being unwilling to compromise. Was he dreaming?  Gokudera was so stubborn, so impassioned with what he believed in, that the only way this could happen so fast was if it was a figment of his imagination. But as Yamamoto gazed into the silver-haired teen’s passionate and desperate eyes from half-way across the room, he knew that it was real.

Gokudera wanted him back!

So much happiness and relief filled the taller teen in that moment that he didn’t know what to do with himself.  His body remained motionless, his feet frozen to the floor and unwilling to move.  Yamamoto couldn’t even speak, he was so ecstatic, but…he knew that there was something that still bothered him.  He wanted, no, he **_needed_** something from Gokudera, and that need only intensified until it had completely overtaken the happiness he felt.  Yamamoto was so confused by this drastic change that he felt lost, unsure of what it was that he needed before he could let Gokudera come back.  He couldn’t just accept the other back like the previous night never happened.  Their fallout at the Christmas Eve party couldn’t be erased just like that!  Too many things had happened, and too many hurtful words had been said.  Yamamoto knew that he just couldn’t run over there and gather Gokudera up into his arms and forgive and forget, even though it felt like every fiber of his being wanted him to.

A serious expression overcame Yamamoto’s features as he bit his lip and averted his eyes from Gokudera, the taller teen staring at the floor like it held the answer to the thing that he ‘needed’.  Yamamoto could hardly stand not knowing what it was that he wanted from the other, almost as much as his body couldn’t stand being away from Gokudera for a second longer.  He longed so terribly to hold Gokudera, to kiss him, to smile with him, that Yamamoto knew that if he didn’t figure out what he needed from the other soon, he was going to go insane!

While this was going on, Gokudera watched on from Yamamoto’s bedside as the shocked expression the teen had worn dissolved into one of seriousness.  And as the taller teen’s eyes strayed towards the ground, his bottom lip held between his teeth, Gokudera could feel his heart plummet with the other’s gaze.  The silver-haired bomber had been so certain that Yamamoto would only be too willing to accept him back—heck, even overenthusiastic about the idea!—but he had obviously given his desirability too much credit.  The smaller teen felt sickened by his thoughts.  The way Yamamoto was acting now was obviously because he was having second thoughts and doubts about their relationship, and Gokudera couldn’t blame the other for behaving so. After all, he had been the one hurting Yamamoto for the past couple of months, he had been the one to break up with him just the night before, he had been the one to say horrible things to the other, and he had been the one to go on about how they could never be together and that it was for the best that they broke up. How could he have honestly expected Yamamoto to be willing to take him back just because he had a quick change of heart?!

Of course, it also didn’t help that he hadn’t actually explained why he had changed his mind to the Rain Guardian, but did it really matter now when it was obvious that Yamamoto’s answer was no?  The silver-haired teen knew now that he had royally fucked things up between them.  He had hurt Yamamoto too much for the other to even consider in taking him back.

And Gokudera **_hated_** himself for it.   

Trying his best to hold back his self-loathing tears, Gokudera croaked out an, ‘I see’ and, ‘I’m sorry’, to let Yamamoto know he understood and that he wouldn’t be bothering him anymore.  Gokudera was used to these feelings after all, the feelings of loneliness and being unwanted, and in the end, didn’t he deserve them?

As Gokudera briskly made his way past a still unmoving Yamamoto, desperate to not let the other see his tears fall, the smaller teen internally berated himself for his screw up. The other was too distraught to even realize that he still held the promise ring in his hand, the promise ring that no longer held a promise meant for him.

Before Gokudera could leave for good, before his hand could open the door, the sound of Yamamoto’s voice stopped him.  The taller teen had noticed the other leaving, and the despair in the other’s voice. He couldn’t just let Gokudera walk away from him again, not after he had finally figured out what he needed from him.  So, in order to stop the silver-haired teen from leaving, Yamamoto did the only thing he could think of at the moment: by stating what was on his mind, what he felt deep down in his heart, in his very soul, for the other.

“ ** _I love you_**.”

Those words were spoken barely above a whisper, almost breathless, and they stopped Gokudera in his tracks.  Wet, jade-green eyes widened in surprise as the smaller teen froze in mid-motion, his free hand hovering above the door handle, completely speechless and unable to believe what he had heard.  He had been so certain that Yamamoto didn’t want him—No, no, he shouldn’t get ahead of himself! 

Gokudera shook his head vigorously to clear his thoughts.  Just because Yamamoto had said that he loved him didn’t mean that he wanted to take him back!  After all, he loved Yamamoto too, but he had also broken up with him.  They were just words.  Beautiful, wonderfully horrible words, and even though they made his heart flutter with hope, Gokudera knew he had to wait and hear what Yamamoto said next before he could allow himself to believe.

As if he could sense his thoughts, Yamamoto went on to explain, the taller teen’s voice thick with passion and, to Gokudera’s surprise, pain.

“I…I’ve always loved you, Gokudera.  Since our second year in middle school, all I could think about was how much I cared for you, how much I wanted you to feel the same way for me as well.  I never imagined back then that you would willingly become my boyfriend, that you would actually want me. And now…just with what I’ve experienced with you this past year…I’ve come to realize just how much you mean to me.  I…I can’t begin to imagine, I don’t even want to imagine, a life without you in it… but…”

And with that last, tense, word hanging between them, Gokudera could feel himself holding his breath.  He knew that those three simple words were too good to be true.  Nothing was ever simple, there always had to be a ‘but’, and all Gokudera could do was wait and hear Yamamoto out, to see if he could do anything that would change the taller teen’s mind about him.

“But…” Yamamoto repeated again with a bitter laugh, his hazel eyes shaking with doubt and sorrow.  “I’m not sure if I can promise myself to a relationship with you, not after you threw me away so easily.  I…I don’t think I can handle being hurt that way by you again.”

Gokudera stiffened as he heard the taller teen’s words, still facing away from the other.  It took only a second for the despair and apprehension he felt to disappear and be replaced with hurt and anger.  In a flash, he turned to face Yamamoto, his eyes ablaze and piercing as he glared into the other’s sorrowful orbs.

“Easy…?  **_Easy_**?!” The smaller teen screamed in a dumbfounded manner, his eyes glistening with tears.  “You thought that breaking up with you was easy?!!!  If it was so fucking easy then why did it take me so long to finally do it, huh?!  I would have done it months ago, but I couldn’t!  I couldn’t because…I…I…”

The raven-haired teen stood completely dumbstruck as he witnessed his silver-haired companion turn his gaze away, tears falling down his cheeks and his fists clenched tightly against his sides as his body shook in anger.  He didn’t expect to see Gokudera react so emotionally, and Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel guilty as he realized that what he had wanted to say hadn’t come out right at all.

“I’m…I’m so sorry, Gokudera,” Yamamoto uttered softly, hazel eyes shaking with remorse.  “My words didn’t come out right at all!  I…I know it wasn’t easy for you to break up with me, I saw that very clearly the night before.  I just…I just meant that even though I want to be with you,  I don’t think I can unless I know for **_certain_** that you feel the same way for me too!”

“You’re an idiot if you can’t see that I do!” Gokudera yelled back as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand in frustration, hating that he had succumbed to tears yet again.  He swore that he had cried more in the last forty-eight hours than was humanly possible.   

A small frown formed on Yamamoto’s lips as he witnessed the distress his love interest was going through, disliking the fact that the other was reacting that way because of him.  Still, that didn’t change the fact that he believed he had a right to know how Gokudera felt about him.  Sure, he had seen how the other acted around him, and actions usually spoke louder than words, but that didn’t make the words themselves any less important.

“I want to hear how you feel about me, Gokudera.  **_Please_** ,” The dark-haired teen explained further, his hazel eyes beseeching.  “I know it’s difficult, and I don’t expect you to say it often, but I just want to hear it, if only once.  If I hear it, then I would know.  I would be certain of our relationship because I would have your word, Gokudera.  So please, tell me…”

The feisty Italian’s tears had finally stopped, but only due to the shock from Yamamoto’s request.  Fear slowly crawled into his gut as Gokudera thought the other’s words over, the silver-haired teen afraid of what the taller teen wanted him to do.  He had never said those words, those three stupid words, in his entire life.  How did Yamamoto expect him to say them now?!  He…he didn’t even know how to say them.

Gokudera felt so lost, so unsure of what to do, or to be more precise, on how to do it, that he clenched his fists together tighter, his fingernails digging into his palms.  It was here that the smaller teen realized that he still held the promise ring in his left hand.  As Gokudera brought his left hand up and unfurled his fingers to glimpse at the ornate ring held within, a newfound strength overcame him as he reread the promise inscribed onto the silver band.  He knew then what he was going to do.

Choosing to remain silent for the moment as his green eyes sparked with determination, Gokudera reached both hands behind his neck and started unclasping one of the many necklaces that adorned it, the fingers on his left hand working deftly around the ring still held in his palm.  The little Italian could hear Yamamoto call out his name softly in question, but continued to ignore him as he finally detached the necklace from his neck. 

With ease, Gokudera removed the punk-styled cross from the necklace’s chain and replaced the emblem with the promise ring.  Once that was done, the silver-haired teen reattached the necklace around his neck (with slight difficulty), and then tossed the cross emblem Yamamoto’s way.

Even though he was taken completely by surprise, Yamamoto’s quick reflexes came into play and he easily caught the tossed emblem with one hand like it was a low flying baseball.  As hazel-eyes quickly glimpsed down at the black and silver, punk-styled, cross now in his possession, Yamamoto glanced up towards Gokudera in confusion, silently asking the other teen why he had given it to him.

Gokudera just rolled his eyes like the answer was obvious.

“I’m giving that to you to keep as a memento,” the silver-haired teen stated knowingly.  “You should be able to put it on your Vongola Gear, since I doubt you actually own another necklace.”

At the reminder of his gear, Yamamoto consciously felt the weight of the necklace around his neck that contained his swords, his dog, and his bird.  He had to admit that the intricately designed silver and black cross would look pretty cool next to the sword emblem on his Vongola Gear, but that was beside the point.  There was a more pressing issue at hand.

“Why would I need a memento…?” The taller teen questioned softly, not at all against the idea but curious all the same.  Did Gokudera want to give it to him for a reason, or was it just because he didn’t know what to do with the emblem now that the promise ring had taken its place?

A light blush dusted the young Italian’s cheeks at Yamamoto’s question, the older teen shyly shifting his eyes to the side as he responded.

“W-Well isn’t it normal for people to carry or wear the things of the people they…” The silver-haired teen swallowed thickly, before continuing.  “…l-love? I-It’s a pretty normal thing between c-couples, right?  I just realized that you always made me wear those huge fucking shirts of yours and that you never tried on anything of mine...”

Yamamoto didn’t even try to point out that he hadn’t tried on anything of Gokudera’s because it was obvious that none of the Storm Guardian’s clothes would fit on him.  The taller teen could only stare at the other in shock, astounded by what the other was implying.  It was almost too good to be true.

“Gokudera, do you mean…?” The raven-haired teen trailed off, unable to finish his sentence as he could no longer find the words to speak. His hazel eyes shone hopefully, beseechingly to the other, his silent orbs begging Gokudera to not be lying, that what he was implying was true.       

That look almost crumbled what little bit of courage Gokudera had.  So much was riding on how he answered that it completely took his breath away.  He didn’t want to screw this up.

As if he was asking the ring to give him strength again, Gokudera’s right hand came up and gripped the ring now held around his neck, his hand shaking as he held the ring within his fist.  Keeping his right hand where it now rested, the silver-haired teen shut his eyes for a bit to gather the words he wanted to say.  When he glanced up, his pale-green gaze met beseeching auburn once again.

“I thought I didn’t deserve this ring,” Gokudera hesitantly started out, his voice growing stronger with every word that left his mouth.  “This ring held both a promise from my mother and from you, and I thought that I had no right to hold it if I couldn’t uphold the promise in return.  But now I’m willing to accept it.  My mother and you agreed on giving me this ring in order to tell me that both of you would love me forever even…even after both of you are gone….”

The silver-haired teen paused for a moment to swallow, his voice becoming thick with emotion and his eyes blazing with passion as he continued.

“By accepting this ring now, I uphold the promise in this ring as well.  And I give that promise to you, Yamamoto.  I’ve…I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my entire life.  I don’t know how long forever will be, and I don’t care…” Gokudera gave a soft chuckle at that.  “…all I do care about is that you stay beside me, no matter what happens.  I…I ** _love_** you, Yamamoto.”

In the next moment, everything happened in an instant as Yamamoto found that he was unable to hold himself back any longer.

Gokudera hardly knew what hit him.  All he could see was Yamamoto’s eyes shine with so much happiness that he didn’t know if the other was going to laugh or cry. All he could hear was the sound of the other’s feet as he rushed towards him and the clang of metal as the cross emblem dropped down onto the wooden floor. And all he could feel was the warmth that enveloped him as Yamamoto wrapped his arms around him, hugging him to his body desperately, the smaller boy feeling the other’s breath as he buried his face into the Storm Guardian’s neck, not at all minding the plethora of necklace chains and leather straps digging into his face as he did so. 

The silver-haired teen stood perfectly still as the other held him like a lifeline, unable to comprehend all that had happened, but not at all stopping the massive blush from blossoming onto his cheeks as a result of his previous speech and Yamamoto’s actions.  A moment later, after he had finally realized what was going on, Gokudera brought his arms up and gently wrapped them around the taller teen’s torso in return.  The smaller teen couldn’t help but think he was back where he belonged as he buried his face into Yamamoto’s chest, just below his collar bone (why did the idiot have to be so freaking tall?!), and as he inhaled the other’s scent, the same scent as the taller boy’s bedroom.  Gokudera knew then that he was finally back home, and that thought only made the little Italian hold on tighter, his pianist fingers gripping the back of Yamamoto’s shirt like a vice.

The two of them didn’t know how long they stood there as they practically melded themselves together, but neither of them really cared.  It had been a whole month since they had both willing touched each other, and they weren’t going to let go anytime soon.  The silence in their moment was broken, though, as Yamamoto whispered longingly into Gokudera’s ear.

“I missed you.”

“Che, you’re such a baby,” Gokudera muttered back softly with no trace of his usual bite in his words, the smaller teen tightening his hold on the other even more as his way of saying that he missed Yamamoto, too.

There was a short pause as Yamamoto understood the meaning behind Gokudera’s grip, the taller teen basking in the possessive touch as the silver-haired teen unknowingly (to Yamamoto), crinkled his brow in a thoughtful manner, the smaller teen contemplating something over before he decided to speak again.

“I’m…sorry…for hurting you,” Gokudera mumbled out, his voice muffled by Yamamoto’s shirt, as the smaller teen was too embarrassed to look at his taller companion.  Nonetheless, he continued on as he felt the blush on his cheeks grow hotter.   He felt that he needed to further explain to the other as to why he had changed his mind about them being together.

“I was thinking things over during dinner, as you have probably guessed.  What you said back in the living room made me realize how… ** _stubborn_** I’ve been concerning decisions whenever it came to us.  I never realized how selfish I’ve been, how I’ve only thought my way to be best, that I **_knew_** best, and that I’ve never listened to you properly.”

Yamamoto didn’t say a thing, as if he was afraid that if he did that this rare moment would cease to exist and Gokudera would take back what he was saying.  He just waited on baited breath as he stared down at the embarrassed teen, listening to the rest of his lover’s explanation, to his change of heart, a warm feeling bubbling up into his chest as Gokudera continued.

“Those thought got me thinking about…about what you said to me last night,” Gokudera continued shakily, knowing that he was breaching a touchy subject.  “Back then, I refused to listen to your side of the argument concerning our break up, but after you yelled at me earlier this evening, and as we sat down to eat, all I could think about was what you had said to me then.  And that made me realized that not only was I being horrible to you, I was being a horrible right-hand man and a horrible friend to the Tenth for not putting my faith in him like I should have.  That’s why I decided that this relationship was okay, that if I put my faith in the Tenth to protect us like the amazing boss I know he is, he wouldn’t let us be separated by what the Family thought of us or by other Families’ marriage proposals.  I’m sorry for not seeing that sooner.”

“Gokudera…?” Yamamoto questioned breathlessly after a beat, his voice shaking with longing. Hearing the other’s reasons had stirred something within him, something desperate.

As the silver-haired teen found the courage within to face his lover once again, his own questioning gaze met the taller teen’s passionate one, silently asking the other to finish his question.

Yamamoto was only too willing to oblige.

“Can I kiss you?”

The older teen blinked a couple of times before he let out a gentle chuckle, as the question reminded him of a very similar one that had transpired between them just before they had decided to go out with each other.  But as the smaller teen thought on the question more, he quickly came to realize that it had been a whole month since the last time he had kissed the taller teen.  Gokudera couldn’t help but stare at the offered lips of his companion, his body craving to taste them like a favorite sweet. 

With a quick glance up towards his partner, Gokudera couldn’t help but answer the question with another question.

“Will you ever stop asking dumb questions?” 

And with that, Gokudera didn’t even let the taller boy answer before he gently, almost hesitantly, brought their lips together, the smaller teen only getting a small taste of the other through the chaste kiss.  As both teen’s closed their eyes in bliss at the familiar, yet long overdue, feeling of the other’s lips on theirs, Yamamoto hesitantly (he didn’t know how Gokudera was going to react, since it had been so long since the last time they were intimate), flicked his tongue across the other’s mouth, asking for entrance.  Gokudera gasped at the almost forgotten feeling and allowed the darker-haired teen to explore his mouth. The smaller teen’s senses almost exploded as he felt the other’s tongue tangle with his, Gokudera’s taste buds picking up a hint of mint as he did so. 

As their tongues tangled in a heated dance for dominance (Gokudera’s submitting quicker than what Yamamoto was used to), the raven-haired teen brought a hand up to grasp the other’s silver locks in his fingers at the back of Gokudera’s head, bringing the smaller teen’s head forward to deepen their kiss as he moaned into the other’s mouth, sending vibrations ghosting down the other’s wet appendage.  The taller teen then tilted his head just so, allowing him to get even better access to the other’s warm cavern as the silver-haired teen reciprocated by wrapping his arms around Yamamoto’s neck and digging both sets of fingers into his hair.  Their kiss soon turned into a full-blown make out session, both teen’s throwing caution to the wind as their bodies craved to be closer after so long. 

That’s how Gokudera found himself pressed up against the bedroom door, Yamamoto as close to him as physically possible and exploring every centimeter of his mouth as if committing its structure to memory.  The smaller teen moaned wantonly at the other’s actions, basking in the attention he had depraved himself of as his body rekindled with desire.  How he had missed this, how he had lamented over giving Yamamoto up, to never sharing moments like this with the other again because he feared getting hurt.

Before Gokudera could think too much on his past mistakes, all sense of thought left him as Yamamoto found ‘ ** _that_** ’ spot, the weak spot in his mouth that turned him to putty in the other’s hands.  The silver-haired teen fell limp against the door at the taller teen’s continuous assault of his weak point, the little Italian holding on to the other for dear life as he became nothing less of a moaning mess in the other’s arms.  Hearing the other let himself go like that sent waves of pleasure down Yamamoto’s spine as he pressed their bodies even closer together, quickly noting how excited the other was as he gently rubbed his lower half against the smaller teen’s.

It was here that the two boys realized that oxygen was a major priority.  As they parted, their tongues the last to disentangle, the two of them panted heavily in unison, their lips only centimeters apart. Passionate hazel eyes opened to meet with needy green, the two staring silently into each other as their breaths mingled. 

As the lustful haze slowly cleared from his mind, Yamamoto realized how intimate his posture was, especially his lower half.  Remembering how uncomfortable Gokudera got with anything remotely sexual, the taller teen slowly tried to remove himself from the other’s person, putting distance between him despite his body’s desire to be even closer. 

To the rain guardian’s surprise, he felt a hand disentangle from his hair and latch onto his hip, Gokudera drawing their bodies together again with a slight growl as he ground their lower halves together once for emphasis.  Confusion and arousal lit the taller teen’s gaze as he peered down into the other’s irises.

“Gokudera?” Yamamoto questioned softly, disbelievingly.  Did he just imagine that?  Had Gokudera actually initiated something sexual between them, and willingly?  Was the smaller teen really implying what he thought he was implying?

When the raven-haired teen’s questioning and slightly hopeful eyes met his, Gokudera quickly looked away with a blush.  He was embarrassed by what he had just done but…he didn’t regret it.  In fact, he reveled in it as he came to a realization about himself, and about something he could do to make up for all the times he had hurt Yamamoto.

“You spent most of your Christmas lonely and depressed because of me,” the silver-haired bomber admitted softly, self-contempt wavering in his tone.  “You deserve to be happy on a day like this.”

“But I am happy,” Yamamoto interrupted fondly.  “I thought I had lost you, but you’re here with me now and that’s all that matters.  You have no idea how happy I am right now, Gokudera.”

“That’s the thing, though,” the silver-haired teen continued earnestly.  “You always settle for the smallest things possible when you deserve so much more!”

“I don’t want to force you into something just because you think you need to make it up to me!” The taller boy responded persistently, his voice pleading the other not to do something if it would make him uncomfortable.  “This is as much a right to you as it is to me, Gokudera.  I don’t want to force you into an uncomfortable situation.”

“It won’t be,” Gokudera reaffirmed in a comforting manner, his eyes betraying his hesitancy. 

Yamamoto gave his small lover a disbelieving look.

“…Okay, so maybe I feel a little weird about it,” Gokudera admitted with a huff.  “But that’s only because I know we’ve never…done anything like that before.  I **_want_** to do this.  I do, Yamamoto.”

Even though the smaller teen’s eyes sparked with determination, Yamamoto was still hesitant. 

“Are you sure?” The raven-haired teen asked one last time, his face the very definition of serious.  He had to know that Gokudera was one hundred percent on board with this, or else he couldn’t bring himself to do as the other requested of him.

For Gokudera, there was no pause. Just an utterly determined, unfaltering answer.

“Yes,” the smaller teen confirmed with finality, his green eyes completely set on his answer.  “The only reason why I had pushed you away before when it came to something like this was…was because I thought I would become more attached to you.  I didn’t want that to happen when I was already trying so hard to push you away...”

There was a pause as Gokudera averted his eyes for a second as he thought something over, a small blush adorning his cheeks again. While this was going on, Yamamoto’s eyes widened in realization as his mind wandered to the misunderstanding they had a month ago back in Gokudera’s apartment.  Did that mean that when Gokudera had pushed him away, it was only because he was afraid of becoming closer to him?  As the taller teen thought more on the subject, it made all the more sense. What with how Gokudera reacted around him afterwards (he had started making out with him again after he had started crying because of the misunderstanding), and since the smaller teen **_had_** mentioned that the misunderstanding was, well, a **_misunderstanding_** , and that he did it to push Yamamoto away, everything made all the more sense now. 

As understanding finally dawned on him, Yamamoto couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief as another one of his many questions concerning the past month had been answered, albeit unknowingly on Gokudera’s part, since he hadn’t personally brought up the ‘misunderstanding’ scenario.  In the taller teen’s eyes, though, what was done was done, and he had come to terms with Gokudera’s actions the past couple of months, and had forgiven him for it already (the smaller teen had said he was sorry for how he acted over the past month, after all).  The only thing that mattered to him now was the blushing Italian in his arms; nothing less, nothing more.

When Gokudera made eye contact with Yamamoto again (completely oblivious to the other’s inner musings), his jade-green orbs were fervent and surprisingly submissive looking, despite the serious and dismissive act he tried to put on next.

“What I tried to do in the past doesn’t matter now.  I’ve…I’ve actually enjoyed—” Gokudera blushed heavier at this. “—those moments, despite how I reacted to them.  Besides,” the smaller teen quickly added, finding that he was becoming too open and mushy for his tastes.  “I never did get you a Christmas present, so maybe we can let this compensate for that.”

As the smaller of the two averted his eyes away out of embarrassment, and as he blushed redder than the setting sun outside Yamamoto’s bedroom window, the taller teen could feel warmth blossoming in his chest and his stomach flutter out of nerves and excitement.  The raven-haired teen felt touched that Gokudera actually wanted to do this with him and not just because he thought he owed him in any way.  He had wanted this for so long, to share himself completely with the one he loved, that Yamamoto actually felt at a loss on what to do.  Gokudera had spoken the truth when he said that neither of them had experience in this field, but he would try his best to make this a pleasurable and good first experience for his little lover.

Gokudera felt his stomach flip-flop in apprehension and…was it giddiness?  He wasn’t sure.  All he knew and all he could think about as he stared at the floor boards out of embarrassment, was that he wanted to experience this with Yamamoto even though he was a little scared to (which he would never admit, **_ever_** ). He had done some research on the subject back when he and Yamamoto had first started going out, and he had read that it was supposed to hurt the first time, and that it would always hurt if he wasn’t prepared enough.

The silver-haired teen was so distracted by his thoughts that he was caught off guard when he felt a hand reach up and cup his cheek, the smaller boy jumping out of shock from the unexpected and heated touch.  As the hand in question made him turn his head to look back up at his taller companion, Gokudera saw, and felt, the other lean his forehead against his, the dark-haired teen’s hazel eyes boring into his with a passionate, serious, gaze.

“Okay,” The raven-haired teen whispered firmly, finally accepting the young bomber’s request.  Gokudera just swallowed the heavy lump in his throat, nodding his head slightly in response to show that he was still willing to go through with it.

The next thing Gokudera saw was how Yamamoto’s passionate gaze became more loving and endearing as he stared down at him, and when smoldering heat was added into those emotions as the taller teen slowly and hesitantly drew him in for a kiss, Gokudera could feel himself become weak in the knees without the other having find his weak spot.  This was their first kiss to something entirely new, and the silver-haired teen knew that he would be lying to himself if he said that it wasn’t the most gut-twisting and electrifying kiss he had ever experienced.  It was gentle, languid, and so passionate that it spread delicious heat all the way down to the breathless Italian’s toes, making them curl.

They broke for air a moment later, Yamamoto resting their foreheads together once again as they shakily breathed in the much needed oxygen.  Their lips soon met again in another slow, loving kiss, the two teen’s eyes closing in rapture as Yamamoto started to coax them backwards towards his bed.  Once he felt the back of his knees hit the mattress, the taller teen broke off their kiss and sat down on the edge out of habit, looking a little lost on what to do with himself after he had done so.

Gokudera was quick to notice this (and the missing heat from his lips), and helped by doing the first thing that came to his mind: by lifting himself up onto the bed and straddling the young baseball player’s lap.  Making himself comfortable as he sat down on the taller teen’s legs, Gokudera gently took hold of both of other’s tan, blushing, cheeks in his delicate pianist hands, and brought him into another searing kiss, their tongues reconnecting  after their short time apart. 

Yamamoto moaned softly as he held onto the bomber’s waist, allowing the other to explore his mouth to his heart’s content.  Gokudera didn’t hesitate in taking the other’s offer either. The smaller teen, much to Yamamoto’s surprise, took his time in his exploration, as if he was memorizing the feel of the taller teen’s mouth again, savoring his taste. 

After another gentle tussle of tongues led the two teens to break apart for another breath of air, Yamamoto paused for almost a second before an almost shy look spread across his face as he tugged on the bottom of the young Italian’s shirt.  Gokudera understood what his companion was getting at, and couldn’t help but blush even more. Not for the fact that he was going to take his shirt off in front of Yamamoto, but more for the fact that the taller teen actually looked shy about it, despite them having already done something as simple as shirt removal in the past.

It only took a second for Gokudera to remove his simple long-sleeved shirt and toss the garment to the floor, where it met the wrapping paper and box from Yamamoto’s present that he had opened earlier that afternoon, the objects having fallen off the bed after the two teens had jostled it from their actions. The smaller teen shivered slightly at the feeling of the cool air attacking his bare chest and at the metal emblems on his necklaces as they made direct contact with his skin.  The taller teen was quick to notice his lover’s slight discomfort as he brought his hands up to grasp Gokudera’s shoulders, kissing along the other’s jawline down to his neck where he began to nibble half-way down.  Gokudera tilted his head to the side out of instinct, allowing his lover better access as he gently licked and sucked on his neck, the storm guardian gripping the taller teen’s shoulders like a vice.  The smaller teen moaned at the lavished attention and just barely stopped himself from whining in disappointment when he felt Yamamoto pull away. 

Of course, the raven-haired teen didn’t leave his needy lover waiting for long.  Yamamoto kissed slow, steaming, kisses down to Gokudera’s chest (mindfully avoiding the other’s necklaces), as the taller teen’s rough and calloused hands lowered from the smaller teen’s shoulders down to his forearms, Yamamoto’s touch feather-lite.  There, the Japanese boy licked tentatively at a nipple, Gokudera gasping at the light, wet, touch.  His lower half stirring again from the noises that his lover was making, Yamamoto brought the nipple into his mouth, generously giving it abundant forms of attention between gentle nips and laps of his tongue as he brought a free hand down to twist the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger. 

Continuous shivers ran down Gokudera’s spine at his boyfriend’s affection as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes in ecstasy, moaning his lover’s name to the ceiling as the taller teen took his time and switched his attentions back and forth between each nipple.  When the black-haired athlete deemed both evenly ravished, he glanced heated up into passionately burning emerald eyes, the silver-haired teen taking the initiative and swooping down to claim the other’s lips in a feverish kiss, the kiss itself being more tongue than anything else.

As the two of them stopped to pant for air, their heavy breaths mingling as their foreheads rested together once again, Gokudera trailed his hands slowly down from the Rain Guardian’s shoulders to the base of his shirt.  The little Italian held the bottom of the fabric between both of his hands and insistently pulled upward, silently asking for the other to help him in taking off the shirt.  Yamamoto let out a breathless chuckle at his lover’s cute insistence as his hands joined the bomber’s, both of them hefting the shirt over the Japanese boy’s head and onto the floor where it joined it’s partner. 

Gokudera stared transfixed at the swordsman’s chiseled torso, his hands moving with minds of their own as they traveled across his lover’s body in no hurry, memorizing the contours of the taller teen’s muscles.  From Yamamoto’s arms, to his back, to his chest and stomach, Gokudera traced his way with his soft hands, leaving both of the teens breathless and fixated on the other.  The silver-haired teen didn’t know why he was so fascinated by something like this now.  Yamamoto and him had seen each other and had touched each other so many times before, this shouldn’t have been any different, but yet it was.  Everything felt so new, from the kisses, to the lightest touches.  It was like everything was starting over between Yamamoto and him, a fresh start, the beginning of something new and powerful, and Gokudera couldn’t help but feel excited and nervous and just…grateful that he was there, able to share this with the person he loved.  And as the silver-haired teen stared down into the hazel-eyes of this lover, he knew that Yamamoto felt exactly the same way. 

As he stared up into the older teen’s eyes, Yamamoto decided to change their positions then.  The young athlete took his hands from their designated place on Gokudera’s forearms, one coming up to delicately cup the back of the Italian’s head, while the other went down to grip the bomber’s belted hip.  Never losing eye contact between him and his now slightly curious companion, Yamamoto nimbly maneuvered them sideways to lay down on his bed, setting Gokudera down gently on his back as the smaller teen’s head made contact with his pillow.  There Yamamoto hovered over him, kneeling between the bomber’s spread legs, his gaze warm and affectionate as the hand that had been cradling the back of Gokudera’s head made its way down the side of the Storm Guardian’s face to cup his cheek.

The smaller teen stared up at the other breathlessly as he watched Yamamoto’s brow furrow, a thoughtful expression coming over the swordsman’s features.  In truth, the younger of the two was thinking of what he should do now.  Since he still felt a tad lost on what to do, the rain guardian decided to stick to what he did know first, as he wanted nothing more than for his companion to feel good.

It was here that Yamamoto kissed the awaiting bomber’s stomach, his lips kissing a soft trail down until he met his first obstacle; Gokudera’s maze of belts.  As the taller teen’s hand’s relocated to his lover’s waist line to remove the leather contraptions, Gokudera’s hand’s migrated from Yamamoto’s shoulders to also help, both sets of appendages shaking in anticipation. 

Thud after continuous thud met the boys’ ears as each belt fell to the wooden floor below, their hearts hammering a little faster with each sound.  When all the belts had been removed, Yamamoto brought himself up to lay a soft, loving kiss to his lover’s lips as his fingers nimbly undid the button of the boy’s tight jeans, unzipping the zipper as he did so.  As the warmth of the other’s lips left his once again, Gokudera noticed that he was on a high from all of the affection, a high even nicotine couldn’t bring him towards, and as he felt Yamamoto’s fingers curl over the waistline of his jeans and the hem of his boxers, the older teen couldn’t hold back the soft, needy, moan that escaped his throat.

Hearing the desire in the silver-haired teen’s moan, Yamamoto took his time as he slowly removed both of the shorter teen’s lower garments, the other’s tanned lips trailing kisses from the bomber’s hip, down to his toes as the articles of clothing were removed.  Gokudera panted breathlessly at the affection, a loud gasp escaping his throat as his hard length was exposed to the open air.  As he heard the last remains of his clothes fall to the floor, Gokudera shivered slightly in excitement and apprehension as he felt Yamamoto trail kisses back up the outside of his other leg, stopping at his hip.

“You’re so beautiful,” the taller teen murmured breathlessly, a husky tone to his voice as one of his hands came down to trail the inside of Gokudera’s thigh, the other lying flat on the bed next to the Italian’s hip.  Gokudera blushed furiously at his lover’s words, more than ready to tell the other off for saying something like that so casually, but a surprised cry left his lips instead when he felt the swordsmen cradle the base of his length, squeezing the sac thereafter.  From there, the obsidian-haired teen went between pumping the other’s erection and massaging the two orbs beneath, Yamamoto’s other hand moving to the side to affectionately rub his lover’s hip and the inside of his thigh until Gokudera was nothing but a moaning mess below him.

With the sight of his flushed lover moaning out his name, and as he witness pre-cum begin to dribble down the other’s length, Yamamoto couldn’t take the pain he felt in his lower half anymore as his own erection strained against their confines.  As quick as he could (he didn’t want to make Gokudera wait too long), the taller teen’s hands stopped what they were doing and started to fumble with his pants, the silver-haired bomber keening in protest as the wonderful friction left him.  Seeing Yamamoto struggle out of his pants and boxers almost made up for it, though, as Gokudera bemusedly watched the rushed rain guardian almost fall off the bed in his haste to get back to his awaiting lover.

Once Yamamoto was completely free, leaving him only wearing his Vongola Gear, he sent a sheepish grin Gokudera’s way, the smaller teen shaking his head in mock exasperation as the taller teen got back to what he was doing.  This time, though, the young athlete decided to lick a hot trail from the base of the other boy’s length up to the tip, his tongue dipping into the head’s slit to lap up a bit of pre-cum.  Gokudera moaned loudly at the sight, an erotic shudder running through him as he whispered the other’s name in need.

It still amazed Yamamoto on how receptive and willing Gokudera was being in their circumstances.  He was so used to the other putting up a front and pretending that he didn’t like it that seeing the other so open and wanting made the taller teen want to show his love more and in every possible way. 

With so much desire running through him, Yamamoto heeded his lover’s silent plea and took the other’s length into his mouth as much as he could fit. The young Italian practically screamed in ecstasy as he was encased in splendid heat, the smaller clenching the taller teen’s short, ebony locks between his fingers and silently pressing the other to continue on. 

Getting even more aroused than he was before, Yamamoto started humming as he traveled gradually up and down on the other’s length, his hands coming up to press down on Gokudera’s hips to prevent him from bucking.   Now usually, he would be doing something else with his hands to coax his lover along to orgasm, but the taller teen wanted these next couple of moment to last between them, to burn every sound, taste, and touch into his memory as they commemorated their first time.

He could only hope that it would be a completely satisfying experience for his beloved bomber and not a disaster.

“Y-Yama...hah…moto…” Gokudera gasped out fervently, the other’s name being the only word to leave his lips during the last couple of agonizingly wonderful minutes.  Yamamoto didn’t respond in any way as he continued to make his lover a writhing wreck beneath him with his steady progress, the taller teen basking in the sounds and taste of his precious Gokudera.

“I—I’m going to—” The smaller teen shouted erratically as he clutched the other’s hair tighter around his fingers.  “Y-Yama—Ah—Ahhhhh!”

And with that, Gokudera finally came into his lover’s mouth, the darker-haired teen choking slightly at the abrupt action but eagerly swallowing the warm liquid as it traveled up and then down his throat.  As Yamamoto sucked up his lover’s seed, his tongue coming out to lick up any spare trails he left behind, Gokudera just lay below him, spent in his post-orgasmic bliss.

“Why did you…make me cum…so early?” The silver-haired teen croaked out between breathes in a tired but pleased voice, curious to his partner’s actions.  Weren’t they supposed to go all the way?  Of course he still had enough energy to go at it again, so Gokudera knew he couldn’t complain **_too_** much.

Yamamoto didn’t answer right away as he finished up any traces of his lover’s seed.  The younger boy was a afraid to admit that he had made the other cum, not only because he knew Gokudera could go more than one round, but also because he was worried that the next part of their session would be painful for his precious lover.  He had wanted to make Gokudera feel really good, at least once, throughout the night, because he didn’t know what the next part had in store for them.  He was completely inexperienced when it came to actual sex, after all.

“Is it wrong to want to make you feel good?” Yamamoto finally answered as he kissed the bomber’s now-soft member. “Besides, I’m still ready to go.”

As he heard his baseball idiot chuckle at his own statement, Gokudera just rolled his eyes and blushed as he felt the other gently rub his still-hard erection against his hip.

“You’re so hopeless.”

Yamamoto couldn’t stop another chuckle at the embarrassment in his lover’s response.

“Yep!  Hopelessly in love!”

“Geez, and you’re fucking cheesy, too!” Gokudera bit back with hardly any venom in his voice as he took one of Yamamoto’s pillows on his bed and swung it at the taller teen’s shoulder.  Yamamoto laughed even louder when he felt the pillow hit him, gazing down at the other shyly a moment later with his most endearing smile.

“Should we continue?” He questioned the other softly, delicately. 

There was a short pause as Gokudera took in these words, understanding their implications almost immediately.  Despite his tightened grip on the pillow in his hand, and the slight worry that clouded his pale-green eyes, Gokudera nodded his head determinedly as he placed the pillow back to its original location, whispering out a soft ‘yeah’ in affirmation.

Yamamoto could feel his nerves relight in apprehension and his stomach twist uneasily in knots as Gokudera held his gaze steadily, the time of reckoning gradually approaching them.  

 Wondering on what he was supposed to do next, a quick thought came to Yamamoto during his thinking process, causing the taller teen to reach up and unhook the Vongola Gear from around his neck.  Gokudera raised an eyebrow in confusion as he watched the young athlete reach across him and place the sword necklace upon his bedside table.

“What are you doing?” The silver-haired teen questioned in honest curiosity as he brought himself up from his laying position on the bed by leaning on his elbows.

The raven-haired teen blushed a little at the question but truthfully replied.

“Well, I thought that since the gear has sharp edges around the emblem that I should take it off so that I don’t hurt you.”

Gokudera just snorted at this, the thought of the **_necklace_** , of all things, hurting him the least of his worries.

“I’m not a woman, you know.  I can handle a little pain,” the young Italian muttered gruffly, his rough voice unable to distract Yamamoto from seeing the thoughtful expression that made its way onto his face, despite his tough words.

Yamamoto just chuckled awkwardly in response as he wondered on what to do next, rubbing the back of his head out of nervous habit.  Deciding to busy himself with something to buy him more time to think a plan into action, and trying to ignore the ache in his member from the lack of attention it was getting, the Rain Guardian started pulling back the covers of his bed so that Gokudera and him wouldn’t make them even more messy than they already did. 

As he saw what the other was doing, the said silver-haired teen shifted into a sitting position and shuffled out of the way to allow the covers below him to be pulled down.  Since he was sitting up now, Gokudera decided to follow his previous train of thought and started removing the rings, bracelets and necklaces from his person.  Yamamoto just watched him fondly with a bemused grin when he was done with pulling back the covers, happy that Gokudera was actually taking some consideration to his wellbeing, too, even though he didn’t mind getting a little hurt during their regular sexual excursions. 

To Yamamoto’s slight surprise, Gokudera paused when he only had one more necklace to remove, the other’s soft piano fingers hovering over the clasp to the back of his neck, frozen in place as the silver-haired teen scrunched his face up in a mixed expression.

“Gokudera?” The raven-haired teen asked faintly as his eyes roved from the smaller teen’s expression down to the promise ring still held around his neck, the ornate piece of jewelry glinting faintly in the waning light of the bedroom, the sun barely visible over the horizon. 

The young Italian stiffened at the sound of his lover’s voice but relaxed as he let out a resigned sigh, his hands falling to his sides and leaving the necklace to hang around his neck.

“It feels like…” Gokudera started, not making eye contact with Yamamoto as he distractedly twirled the ring with a forefinger and thumb.  “It feels like I’m defiling my mother’s ring by keeping it on but…it feels so… ** _wrong_** to take it off,” the teen finished with a shy blush, not adding the fact that it felt wrong to remove the ring because of how big of a deal he had made it when he had put it on in the first place.  Gokudera just felt that since he said that wearing the ring symbolized his way of a promise to Yamamoto, removing it felt like he was going back on that promise.

Even with his companion’s silence, Yamamoto had a feeling as to what the other was getting at as the smaller teen continued to fiddle with the ring around his neck. With an affectionate smile, the taller teen leaned forward and laid a soft kiss to the edge of Gokudera’s mouth, the smaller teen in question, pulling an uncomfortable expression at the action.  At first, Yamamoto was confused by this reaction but then remembered that Gokudera never liked it when he kissed him after having his mouth all over the other’s lower half. 

“S-Sorry.” The taller teen chuckled sheepishly in quick apology before he continued.  “I just wanted to say that, if it feels wrong to take it off, then don’t.  It’s up to you on what you feel most comfortable with, Gokudera.”

The silver-haired teen appeared thoughtful for the moment as he eyed his companion out of the corner of his eye before he nodded in assent.  It was then that Gokudera lay back down on the bed, his jade-green eyes looking up at the other expectantly.

Yamamoto could only stare on breathlessly as the sight of his lover almost sent him over the edge, their promise ring lying against Gokudera’s sweat-glistening chest as he looked up at the taller boy so trustingly.  The taller teen swallowed thickly as he thought up his game plan again, a nervous edge to his voice.

“I should probably start preparing you then,” the darker-haired teen stated in finality, his hazel eyes searching his lover’s gaze for any signs of second thoughts.

Gokudera quickly picked up on the other’s nervous tone, and couldn’t help but feel the same in return.

“Do you know how?” He questioned Yamamoto curiously, feeling a little apprehensive at the thought of the other not knowing, but still willing to go along with their current course of action.

Seeing that the other still wanted to continue made Yamamoto blush even harder as he replied to the smaller teen’s question.

“Well…” The taller teen started off awkwardly, unsure if he should say what was on his mind.  “…kind of.  I talked to Dino-san about this a while back during the meeting for the Secret Santa exchange and he gave me some pointers.”

Gokudera could only blink up at his lover in a dumbstruck fashion.

“Y-You talked to Cavallone about us?!  Why **_him_** of all people?!” The smaller teen stuttered out in a startled choke, his jade-green orbs shaking with disbelief.

“Ah, no, I didn’t mention I was with you!” Yamamoto quickly corrected as he brought his hands up in a placating manner.  “I just asked him how to have this sort of sex in general…haha.  I thought he was the best person to ask because of his relationship with Hibari.” 

The disbelief never left Gokudera’s face.  In fact, Yamamoto could have sworn that his companion looked even more blown away by his last piece of information.

“Don’t tell me you never noticed?” Yamamoto questioned dumbfounded, unable to believe that the smaller teen hadn’t noticed how clingy the blond don was around the prefect.

 “W-Why the fuck would I notice something like that?!” Gokudera spluttered out as an excuse to his lack-luster observation skills.  So much for being an attentive right-hand man.  “Why should I give Cavollone and **_Hibari_** , of all people, the time of day?!”

Yamamoto just laughed lightly in response, the feisty Italian looking so adorable to him in his flustered state.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”  And, as the taller teen said this, he reached across to his bedside drawer again and opened it.  Yamamoto rooted around the drawer for a bit before he brought out a medium sized bottle of lube.

As his lover reclosed his bedside drawer and placed the bottle on top of it, Gokudera could only gawk at him in stupefaction, not expecting to see the bottle in the least.

“Y-You were actually prepared for something like this?!” The smaller teen stuttered out in disbelief, his eyes darting back and forth between Yamamoto and the bottle of lube.

“Uh…yeah.” The black-haired teen blushed profusely as he rubbed the back of his head.  “I didn’t know when you would be ready to go the extra step, so I just had a bottle ready in case the moment just, you know, happened.”

There was a stagnant pause as Gokudera processed this information before another question exploded from his mouth as another realization dawned on him.

“Wait!  You’ve been keeping my mother’s letter and ring in a drawer next to a bottle of lube this whole time?!  What the hell?!” The smaller teen yelled, looking rather insulted by the idea and astonished for not noticing the bottle when he had put his mother’s letter back in the drawer earlier that evening.

“Ah…haha…” Yamamoto laughed out nervously, his hands still brought up in a placating manner.  “I was in such a daze last night that I couldn’t think of anywhere else to put them.  I’ll think of a better place for the letter unless you’re thinking of taking that back as well…”

Gokudera just sighed out in slight aggravation as he rubbed at his temples.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take it back.”

“…Sorry…” Yamamoto mumbled out morosely, the taller teen feeling disappointed at not realizing how Gokudera would obviously react to the situation.  He also felt like he had degraded Gokudera Kazumi’s presents by what he accidentally did.

“No…don’t apologize,” Gokudera let out with another sigh as he removed his fingers from his temples, shifting his eyes to the side and away from his taller companion.  “Even though you **_usually_** don’t think too much, the way you were acting last night was because of me, so I’m the one at fault.  It…you know what?  It doesn’t matter.”

As the fiery, determined gaze of his lover met his again, Yamamoto could feel a shiver of anticipation run down his spine.  And as he witnessed the bomber shift around below him and spread his legs farther apart enticingly, a rosy blush tainting the silver-haired teen’s cheeks, that shiver turned into a fully visible shudder of want.

“Are we going to do this, Yamamoto?” Gokudera whispered out breathlessly, the smaller teen trying his best to keep eye contact through his embarrassingly open display, but he couldn’t in the end, so he turned his head to the side and closed his eyes.

The taller teen’s answer was just as breathless, if a little more husky.

“Yeah,” the raven-haired teen murmured as he leaned forward and gently nuzzled the side of his lover’s face.  Gokudera stiffened for a moment, as if thinking his next actions through, before he nuzzled back. 

With a tender kiss to the smaller teen’s cheek, Yamamoto leaned back again and reached for the bottle of lube, his mind turning a mile a second as he thought through all of the pointers Dino had given him.  He distinctly remembered the other saying that there was no such thing as using too much lubricant, and that the more he used the less pain his partner would be in.  That and he thoroughly had to prepare the other and go slow, so as not to tear up the other’s inner walls (Yamamoto knew that he would never forgive himself if he did).  The taller teen swore that he had never listened to a lesson so attentively before as he did when he had asked Dino for pointers, desperate to make sure that when the time did come (if it ever did), that he would give his lover a good experience.

Even with the lesson burned into his head, though, Yamamoto still didn’t feel too confident because of his lack of experience.  Usually, he was pretty confident with anything he did, and if he wasn’t, he always gave himself a pep talk in order to gain more confidence, but for some reason it wasn’t working now.  He was too concerned that he would mess something as important as this up.

His mind still filled with doubt, the worried teen glanced up towards his awaiting partner to be met by a shocking sight, the other’s green orbs shining down on him in unwavering trust.

And that’s all the confidence that Yamamoto needed.

Feeling more than ready to go now, the dark-haired teen poured a copious amount of the gel-like substance onto his long fingers.  Once that was done, and he placed the lube to the side, Yamamoto lowered his hand and placed a thoroughly soaked finger to the other’s entrance, his lover shivering as the cool gel touched his sensitive skin.

“I’m going to put a finger in, okay, Gokudera?” Yamamoto stated more than asked, as he glanced up to see the smaller teen’s nervous face, still giving the other the option to back out.

Gokudera just closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before he nodded in assent, the pale bomber’s hands already tightening their grip on the sheet below him in preparation for what was to come.

Seeing that the other was still willing to go through with it, Yamamoto took a deep breath himself before he tentatively pushed a single finger in.  The young baseball player almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a loud cry of pain when his finger was only in half-way.  The taller teen immediately stopped what he was doing and glanced up towards his partner again, only to notice the smaller teen biting his lip hard to hold back the whimpers of pain, his lower body muscles beginning to spasm around the intruding appendage and tighten.

Yamamoto sucked in a harsh breath upon feeling the immense heat and the tightening muscles around his finger, the said muscles sucking more of his finger into their tight warmth.  He knew, though, that despite how good it felt for him, the panicked spasms were only hurting Gokudera more than necessary. 

“It’s alright, Gokudera!  Try to relax, okay?” Yamamoto tried to offer soothingly, the taller teen unable to fully cover up the panic in his tone for seeing his lover in pain. 

“How the fuck do you expect me to relax?!” The silver-haired teen screamed in disbelief.  He hadn’t expected for just the addition of a finger to hurt, but he supposed that since he had tensed up before Yamamoto had inserted it, that the resistance had only made it more painful.  The shorter teen took deep calming breathes as he felt Yamamoto rub his side soothingly with his free hand.  Once Gokudera had calmed down again and had ‘relaxed’ for lack of a better term, the pain had quickly subsided to be replaced with a very uncomfortable feeling.

“H-how does it feel now?” Yamamoto asked with a glint of hope in his worried-filled, hazel eyes, assuming that since the other had stopped whimpering that the pain had stopped. 

“Weird…” Gokudera choked out between clenched teeth and closed eyes, the smaller teen squirming uncomfortably as he felt his lover start moving his finger around inside him.  When was this supposed to start feeling good?

The taller teen took the other’s comment as how it was supposed to normally feel (he could only assume what it felt like to have a finger inside of him) and continued to slowly move his finger around.  He remembered Dino stating that the first finger was supposed to get his lover used to the feeling before he would start stretching him.  The taller teen could only hope that the next part wouldn’t hurt his little bomber too much.

Knowing that the next part was going to hurt despite whatever he did, Yamamoto took his free hand and started to slowly rub up and down on Gokudera’s still-soft member, hoping the light friction would distract the other somewhat.  After stating that he was going to add another finger, Yamamoto slowly did so, his lube-covered fingers beginning to scissor the other’s entrance wider little by little, just like Dino had instructed him, too.

Of course, even with how slow he was going and the distraction he was trying to create, that didn’t stop another cry of pain from escaping Gokudera’s mouth as he felt his lover stretch him.  It felt like he was being torn in two!  The silver-haired teen bit down on one of his fists, trying to stop his unmanly whimpers but, just then, Yamamoto ceased his scissoring motion, the taller teen disliking Gokudera’s reaction. 

“Do you want me to stop?” The raven-haired teen questioned softly, a look of utter defeat on his face at his failure to make his lover feel good.

Despite how badly his lower half was screaming at him to stop what he was doing, Gokudera couldn’t stand the look of agony on the other’s face, and as the taller teen decided to take his lover’s silence as his cue to stop and started to pull his fingers out, a strangled whimper left the smaller teen’s lips as the strangest feeling of loss overcame him.

“S-Stop being an idiot!” Gokudera shouted out in his desperation.  “I’m not a baby!  I can handle a little pain!  So don’t…”

The smaller teen’s sentence trailed off as he gave his lover a pleading look, one that Yamamoto immediately understood.  Despite the taller teen’s misgivings about the idea, he took what little confidence he could from the look his lover was giving him and continued to scissor his lover’s entrance while simultaneously pumping him.

Eventually, Yamamoto wasn’t certain if it was his pumping or scissoring motion that was causing it, but Gokudera’s barely audible whimpers of pain had turned into to slightly louder hums of pleasure, the other’s breath coming out more ragged than it had before.  The noises were slight and hardly noticeable, but since Yamamoto was completely tuned into his lover, he was able to hear them and took it as a sign that his motions were starting to make the other feel better.

The next couple of minutes went by slowly as the taller teen thoroughly prepared his lover, his fingers delving in a little deeper with each scissoring motion and the tightening of Gokudera’s inner muscles.  Feeling that his little bomber was ready for the next step, Yamamoto quietly declared the entrance of the third finger before it penetrated the young Italian’s inner walls.  The smaller teen gasped and took in a shaking breath as he felt his entrance stretched even further, the third addition feeling less painful than the first two because of the adequate amount of lubrication the other was using.

It was here that Yamamoto started sliding his fingers back and forth within the other in what he hoped was a pleasurable way, the thumb on his other hand gently kneading the tip of the other’s length as he did so.  The taller teen was more determined than ever to make Gokudera feel good, and as the grunts of his lover became a little louder and his hips began to rock back onto his fingers at a steady pace, Yamamoto knew that he was slowly achieving that.  But before they could continue to the grand finale, there was something that Yamamoto had to find first.

With each steady thrust of his hand, the taller teen’s fingers searched his lover’s inner walls, looking for the acute bundle of nerves that Dino had said were supposed to be there.  Yamamoto distinctly remembered the older man saying that the bundle of nerves was the key to a pleasurable experience and that he would know when he had found it. 

And how right Dino was.

When the taller teen had experimentally curled his fingers, he could feel the ends brush over a little bundle, which, in turn, caused Gokudera to buck his hips and arch his back into the touch, a lewd moan escaping his lips.  Both teens were so startle by this that Yamamoto paused in his motions and glanced up at his lover, the smaller teen staring back with a questioning glint in his eyes as he panted heavily from the rush of ecstasy that had just overcome him, Gokudera’s eyes clearly asking the other on how he had done that.

Curious to see if he could replicate the feeling, Yamamoto curled his fingers over the bundle of nerves again, and sure enough, Gokudera reacted the same way, but this time he heard the other whisper his name in need.  That sent pleasured shivers directly down to the baseball player’s aching, neglected member. 

Almost desperate to be inside the other now, Yamamoto brushed his fingers across Gokudera’s prostate a couple more times in hopes of memorizing where the bundle was in the contours of his lovers warmth, before he removed his now very wet fingers from his lover, the smaller teen whining at the loss.

It took everything Yamamoto had not to take his lover then and there as the other stared up at him with pleading eyes, but the taller teen kept telling himself that he had to prepare himself first or else he would just end up hurting his beloved bomber.  So with shaking, fumbling fingers, the raven-haired teen grasped the bottle of lube in his hand.  He was about ready to apply another good portion to his open palm when another hand stopped him by gripping his wrist.  Yamamoto looked up in complete surprise to see Gokudera sitting up and holding him back.

“Gokudera, what—?”

“It’s my turn to pleasure you now,” the smaller teen quickly interrupted in a firm voice, making no room for argument as a contemplative look crossed his features.  He wasn’t exactly excited about the prospects of what he was going to do, but he’d be damned if he didn’t actually do **_something_** to please the other.  Yamamoto had been waiting for so long now, slowly taking his time to make sure that Gokudera had felt good, and what had the smaller teen done in return?  The taller teen hadn’t even released once since they started!

Before he could think twice on what he was about to do,  Gokudera got down on his knees and trailed his hands down Yamamoto’s body until they came to his hips, where they gripped tightly.  This action only made Yamamoto more curious as he then saw Gokudera bring his head down to his waist.  The Japanese boy’s eyes widened in complete astonishment as he finally realized just what his love was up to, and before he could tell the other he didn’t have to force himself to do something he didn’t want to do, the smaller teen was already licking a wet trail up his length.  Yamamoto practically came then and there as his body shook with unrestrained pleasure at the touch, his aching member twitching at the long overdue attention. 

The taller teen couldn’t bring himself to stop the smaller teen from his mission, despite seeing the scrunched up and uncomfortable look on Gokudera’s face as he continued to lick his member, coating the hard appendage with as much of his saliva as he could.  Even if Yamamoto had wanted to stop him, the pleasure induced haze caused by the other’s actions wouldn’t even let his body move at the moment, and his mouth could no longer form coherent words as all that came out were strangled moans.  Despite his clouded mind, though, Yamamoto couldn’t help but wonder why Gokudera was doing what he was doing.  The smaller teen had always vehemently refused to bring his mouth anywhere near Yamamoto’s lower half on the grounds that the very idea itself was too disgusting for him, but there Gokudera was, licking up and down his length in a feverish manner and—holy shit, he just brought him into his mouth!

“Gokudera!!” Yamamoto screamed in ecstasy as he grabbed onto the silver-haired teen’s shoulders, his stomach muscles coiling as he was brought dangerously close to the edge.  

Sensing how close the other was, Gokudera released Yamamoto from his mouth with a pop, the silver-haired teen smacking his lips a couple of times with a slightly disgusted look on his face to try and get the weird taste out of his mouth.

Even with his pleasure-addled brain, Yamamoto could easily see the look on the little Italian’s face.

“Gokudera…why?” The raven-haired teen questioned softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

The young Italian just averted his eyes to the side, a heavy blush marring his porcelain cheeks.

“D-Don’t get any ideas, Baseball Idiot!” The older teen shot out in a flustered state.  “I’m not going to be doing that again anytime soon.  I mean, it tasted really weird!  How can you seriously do something like that to me all the time and enjoy it?!”

Yamamoto could only blink in stupefaction at the rambling teen, completely speechless as the storm guardian continued.

“So, seriously, don’t start getting ideas that I will do that all the time now.  I only did it because you were already doing so much for me...and I wanted to…to make you feel good…and…”

Gokudera couldn’t even finish his sentence as his embarrassment took a complete hold on him, but in the end, he probably wouldn’t have been able to finish anyway as a hand had grasped his chin and turned it upwards, Yamamoto’s lips meeting his in a full on kiss.  The smaller teen’s eyes widened for only a moment before they closed in bliss, the little Italian enjoying the slow yet powerful kiss despite how weird it kind of tasted now after his previous action.

When the two of them parted again, lips only inches apart and breathing heavily, their eyes half-lidded in pleasure, Yamamoto brought his hand up from the other’s chin to cradle the side of his face instead.

“I love you…Hayato,” the taller teen whispered out on shaking breath, his eyes shimmering with so much emotion that Gokudera could feel his whole body becoming weak as he continued to stare into them.  The smaller teen could even feel his bottom lip begin to tremble as those words filled him up, a happiness he had never experienced in his life washing over him in that very moment as he heard the other say his first name.

Feeling that he was going to become an emotional wreck again if he continued to look at the other any longer, Gokudera distracted himself by grabbing the lube bottle lying off to the side where Yamamoto had dropped it after the silver-haired teen’s little…experiment.  As the smaller teen held the lube bottle up to his companion’s eye level, he gathered the courage to ask the question he couldn’t believe that he wanted to ask in the first place, his silver bangs covering his eyes from view.

“M-May I?” The smaller teen offered shakily, still feeling that he owed the other.

Ecstatic that Gokudera didn’t reprimand him for saying his first name and that the smaller teen was offering to do something for him, Yamamoto couldn’t refuse. 

“Of course,” the taller teen mentioned breathlessly, a loving expression lighting up his face that Gokudera wasn’t able to see (since he was too embarrassed to look up), but the smaller teen was able to sense all the same.  As a small, almost unnoticeable smile made its way onto the storm guardian’s face, the smaller teen poured an ample amount of the lubricant onto his hand and went to work on slicking the gel onto his lover’s stiff member. After all, it didn’t hurt to be too safe.

With his lover’s hand working wonders on him, Yamamoto leaned his head forward to rest on the smaller teen’s shoulder, soft moans and shivers of pleasure wracking his body.  He was so close to completion, the taller teen seriously wondered if he would be able to last long enough to pleasure the other.

As the taller of the two left another soft, chaste kiss on the other’s lips, Gokudera stopped his ministrations to kiss Yamamoto back, deeming the younger boy ready for what they were about to do. 

Quicker than what Gokudera would have liked, the kiss ended, and as Yamamoto brought their foreheads together once again, a worn look crossed the taller teen’s face.

“I’m not sure how much longer I can last, Gokudera,” The young athlete strained out, a little worried about how he would perform and a little hesitant on saying the smaller teen’s first name again, since Gokudera hadn’t really told him he could.

The silver-haired teen let out a thoughtful breath as he closed his eyes for a moment. When he looked into his lover’s eyes again his jade-green orbs were shining in determination, understanding, and most of all, trust.

“Just do your best and whatever you can. I won’t judge,” Gokudera murmured in what he hoped was an adequate comforting voice, since he wasn’t used to using it.  The smaller teen believed in his words, though, even if his voice came out a little gruffer than what he would have liked.  In the end, didn’t that count more?

Thankfully, Gokudera had a partner that understood all of his mannerisms perfectly, and as Yamamoto smiled lovingly down at him, the Italian boy knew that his words had the effect he was going for.  With a soft ‘okay’ and a nod of confirmation, Yamamoto swooped down and brought Gokudera and him into another kiss, this time more passionate, as he started to lean the smaller teen backwards to lay down on the bed.  Cradling the back of his lover’s silver tresses, Yamamoto laid the other down gently, Gokudera’s head lying firmly on one of his pillows.  As their tongues sadly parted once again (Yamamoto couldn’t get enough of the almost indistinct keening noise Gokudera made every time he did it), the taller teen got into position as his smaller companion took the cue and spread his legs a little wider.

Before Yamamoto could start what they had been painstakingly preparing for, he glanced up towards Gokudera one more time, their eyes meeting in a heated, loving gaze, before the young athlete grasped the smaller teen’s hips and started pushing in.  There was hardly any resistance with all the preparation and copious amounts of lube they used but that still didn’t stop the strangled choke of pain from Gokudera as his lover began to fill him.  Yamamoto was slightly bigger than three fingers after all.

The taller teen consciously halted in his progress upon hearing the slight cry of pain, but as his eyes met Gokudera’s once again, and the smaller boy nodded his assent to continue, Yamamoto did what he was told without any further doubt.  As the raven-haired athlete slowly, but surely, made progress in fully entering the beautiful young man below him, it was taking everything in his power not to release as the mind-blowing warmth of the other encased him, the smaller teen’s muscles contracting and twitching around him and helping to bring him in even deeper.  What Yamamoto was experiencing was so new, so out of this world, that the taller teen was completely overwhelmed by the sensations, which, to no surprise, resulted in him releasing too early once his shallow thrusts fully sheathed himself into his lover’s heat, a loud gasp leaving him as he did so.  Gokudera’s body jolted in surprise upon feeling a warm liquid shoot up into his body, the smaller teen not at all sure if he actually liked the foreign feeling.

With that, Yamamoto practically collapsed onto Gokudera in a boneless heap, the only thing keeping him from doing so were his arms that now lay on both sides of his lover’s body. 

“I’m…sorry,” Yamamoto panted out in exhaustion once the slight high he felt from his release left him.  “You felt…even more amazing…than…what I had…expected…”

At the other’s words, Gokudera’s whole body practically turned red out of flattery.  Not sure on what to do with himself now, the smaller teen brought his hands up to rest on his lover’s shoulders, his thumbs rubbing the sides of them to show that he wasn’t angry for the other’s quick release.

Feeling the other’s affectionate touch, Yamamoto finally had the strength to lift his head to meet Gokudera’s eyes, a sad look adorning the taller boy’s face.

“I am really sorry, Gokudera,” the dark-haired teen apologized again as the disappointment he felt in himself continued to escalate.

Gokudera just scoffed lightly at this.

“Didn’t I tell you to do your best?  I’m not angry or anything, Idiot.”

“But—” Yamamoto protested despairingly.  “After all that preparation, all that time, I wasn’t even able to make you feel good!”

“Hey!” Gokudera proclaimed back in anger, his brow furrowing at the other’s attitude.  “Don’t even start!  You make it sound as if this is the end and that there’s nothing more you can do!” At that, Gokudera brought his legs up to wrap around Yamamoto’s waste, as if to stop the other from removing himself from inside of him.

“It’s not like you to just give up like that,” the silver-haired teen explained in a softer voice, his eyes staring imploringly up into his lover’s hazel orbs.  “The…The Takeshi I know wouldn’t call it quits after a lack-luster performance.”

In that moment, Yamamoto forgot how to breathe as he stared down at his surprisingly patient lover, the taller teen shocked that he had heard Gokudera say his name. As if in response to that, the taller teen could feel his member re-stiffen and twitch at the sound of his name on his lover’s lips.  This also caused a light gasp from Gokudera as he felt the other begin to harden inside of him. 

There was a short pause as the two teens stared at each other in shock, before Gokudera broke the silence.

“Well, you sure bounce back fast,” the silver-haired teen murmured, slightly taken aback.

Yamamoto blinked a couple times in response before a self-conscious chuckle escaped his lips.

“Yeah, well…I really liked hearing you say my given name.”  A blush soon adorned the taller teen’s cheeks as an almost bashful look overcame him.  “Um…do you think that maybe we could call each other by our first names?  I mean, we don’t have to do it in public, of course, but…you know…when it’s just the two of us?”

Gokudera couldn’t shoot down the hopeful glance Yamamoto was sending his way.  In all honesty, he had really liked hearing the other say his name and the only reason why he had condoned it up until now was because of how he had associated it with them becoming closer.  So, with a shy nod of consent, Gokudera accepted Yamamoto’s request.

The look of happiness that spread across the taller teen’s face was almost blinding, Yamamoto looking like he had just received the greatest Christmas gift of his life.  With his energy back to normal, Yamamoto brought himself  a little more forward and brought his lover into a short but sweet thank you kiss.

“Thank you…Hayato,” the taller teen whispered gratefully, a giddy smile finding its way to his lips as the other’s name rolled off his tongue.  It felt so right to say it.

Gokudera just blushed lightly in response.

“Y-You’re such an idiot,” the smaller teen stuttered out in embarrassment, his grip on the other’s shoulders tightening.

“Yeah, but I’m yours,” Yamamoto hummed out as he nuzzled the side of his lover’s face with his nose before bringing the other into an open-mouthed kiss, which Gokudera was only too willing to reciprocate.  The taller teen was right. Even though he was a complete and hopeless idiot, Yamamoto was his and the smaller teen wouldn’t want it any other way. 

As if in an act of possessiveness, Gokudera unconsciously tightened his inner muscles around his lover’s shaft, a small gasp and a shudder emanating from Yamamoto in response.

“H-Hayato,” the young athlete whispered out huskily at the feeling of the other tightening around him, the smaller teen shivering in response as he heard the way the other said his name.  As the taller teen felt the shiver run through the boy below him, as he felt every breath the other was taking, Yamamoto could feel himself harden completely.  He was more than ready to continue where they had left off.

“Hayato, can I?” Yamamoto asked almost desperately, his breath coming out in shaking gasps as his body shivered in anticipation.  The Rain Guardian’s eyes were soon met by their passionate, jade-green counterparts. 

“Don’t ask you idiot, just do,” the storm guardian responded quickly, breathlessly.  He had never wanted anything so much in that very moment than the young man hovering over him, and he’d be damned if the other didn’t start moving now.

 Hearing the urgency in the other’s voice, Yamamoto was only too willing to comply.  With a firm grip on Gokudera’s hips, the taller teen experimentally rocked his own hips forward, a small gasp escaping from his lover’s lips at the feeling.  Gaining a little more confidence from this, Yamamoto then drew himself out half-way before slowly shoving himself back in, eliciting another small gasp from his lover.

“Takeshi…faster…” The smaller teen almost pleaded as he brought his hands underneath Yamamoto’s arms to grip his upper back, the delicious friction steeling his breath away. 

As he felt the smaller teen’s hands grip his shoulder blades and his legs tighten around his hips, Yamamoto heeded the other’s words and increased his speed by moving slightly faster.  He didn’t want to go too fast because he wanted this moment to last for as long as it could.  With a more steady rhythm going, Yamamoto started thrusting a little deeper, angling himself differently each time to try and find the small bundle of nerves that had made his lover writhe in ecstasy.  Little grunts and gasps of pleasure emitted from the two teens as Yamamoto continued on his quest, those grunts soon turning into moans as the taller teen found what he was looking for.

Feeling the other barely graze his prostate caused Gokudera to arch his back and call out in surprise.  The feeling was so electrifying that the smaller teen couldn’t help but crave for more. 

Now knowing where the spot was, Yamamoto started thrusting harder while keeping his steady pace, his little lover more than happy to meet in time with his thrusts as the smaller teen started pushing back on him.  A loud, ravenous moan left the raven-haired teen’s lips at feeling the other move with him, and Gokudera couldn’t help but reciprocate the sound with his own calls of ecstasy as Yamamoto continuously hit his good spot.

For the next couple of minutes both of them lost track of time as they moved together as one, both of them giving and taking as much as they could to the other as their sweat-slicked bodies conjoined in raptured.  With every thrust, with every call of the other’s name, it brought both of them closer to completion, the both of them breathing, thinking and moving in perfect harmony, giving themselves completely to each other.

Gokudera dug his nails into the taller teen’s back as he searched out the other’s lips, his and Yamamoto’s tongues meeting in a feverish frenzy as their mouths connected, their breathing becoming more erratic by the second as the both of them started to move against each other faster, desperate for release. 

It wasn’t too long after that the two lovers got their wish.

With a few more, well placed thrusts, Gokudera came in what had to be his largest orgasm to date, his inner muscles coiling and twisting in complete euphoria.  The feeling was only prolonged when Yamamoto soon joined him in ecstasy, the two of them disentangling their tongues for the moment to moan towards the ceiling as the taller teen continued to thrust into his lover until every ounce of his seed was spent.

When the two were finally done, Yamamoto fell limply into Gokudera’s arms, the taller teen barely keeping himself from crushing the other below him as he propped himself up on his forearms once again, his spent body only hovering centimeters above the others.  The two of them lay like that for the next few moments as they slowly and reluctantly came down from their post-orgasm high.  When their breathing had evened and they had a little bit of energy to open their eyes again, both of them caught the other’s gaze, both sets of eyes shining with so much emotion that no words needed to be said.

As Yamamoto slowly pulled out of his lover, hearing the unwilling whimpers and slight protests of the smaller teen as he did so, the young athlete used the last of his strength to flop on his side and draw the other into his arms.  Gokudera helped as much as he could by pulling the covers over them despite how much his body ached in the process.  His arms then returned the taller teen’s embrace as their legs tangled together and their bodies basked in the other’s touch. 

Before Gokudera could get too comfortable though, he felt Yamamoto shift a bit as the taller teen bent down to kiss, not the smaller boy’s lips, but the promise ring still dangling from his glistening chest.  Gokudera could feel himself choke up as his lover’s eyes met his once again after he was done, those hazel eyes filled with so much devotion that Gokudera could only bury his face into his lover’s neck and hold him tighter in response.  Yamamoto just smiled sweetly as he squeezed the other back, his face nuzzling into Gokudera’s mass of silvery hair while breathing in the other’s scent and letting out a contented sigh.

And with that, the two satisfied lovers fell into a comfortable, dreamless sleep in each other’s arms, neither of them caring what the next day would bring.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here the third to last chapter of this story. This chapter is a lot more lighter than the last couple of chapters with a few sensual moments put in. The ending of this chapter is a bit cracky too, but I just couldn't resist the temptation to do something funny with Tsuyoshi XD This chapter was technically the true ending of this story too, just so you guys know, and that's why it sounds like it's ending at the end here, but there is a short omake and a bonus chapter following this. I hope you guys like it!

Dazzling, mid-morning sunlight spread throughout the room of a certain baseball-loving teen, falling onto the two sleeping figures lying in the bed on the other side of the room. The two prone teen’s held each other in a loving embrace, their light snores of content the only sounds to be heard.

As the morning sunlight hit his eyes, Yamamoto scrunched up his face in discomfort for a moment before he let out a huge yawn and tiredly blinked his eyes open, the taller teen smacking his lips a couple of times as he continued to wake himself.  It was here, while Yamamoto was in the process of waking up, that the rain guardian noticed how pleasantly warm he felt in his bed with the feeling of another body curled up against his.  The raven-haired teen was curious for only a second as he glanced down to see his silver-haired lover sleeping beside him, the smaller teen still fast asleep, despite Yamamoto’s movements.  As soon as he saw his beloved lying beside him, and felt the distinct lack of clothing on the both of them, memories of the night before flitted through Yamamoto’s mind, giddy warmth filling him from head to toe as the memories replayed.

With a goofy and endearing smile spreading across his lips, Yamamoto took in the sight of his lover, his hazel eyes shining in adoration.  Gokudera looked so peaceful, so angelic when he slept, and with the light shining down on him from across the room, the young bomber practically glowed with radiance.

Yamamoto swore he had never witnessed something so beautiful in his entire life.

While the taller teen was permanently preserving the current image to memory, he couldn’t help but realize that this was the calmest he had ever seen Gokudera sleep.  Yamamoto was used to waking up to find the bomber in a random position or sprawled all over him in a messy heap, since the smaller teen was so active when he slept.  The taller teen couldn’t help but feel a little proud that he had exhausted the other to the point that he was unable to move like he was used to. 

As Yamamoto thought about this, and after he observed, quite proudly, that Gokudera’s body melded perfectly against his, the smaller teen stirred.  Seeing that the other was slowly waking up, Yamamoto reached a hand out to sift his hand through the other’s silver locks, causing the young Italian to wake a little faster.

The smaller teen made a sleepy noise of question as he felt a big, warm hand lovingly caress the side of his face.  As Gokudera slowly opened his eyes to greet the new day, he was met by the beaming grin of Yamamoto, the taller teen smiling brighter than the sun coming in through the window.

“Morning, Sleepy Head. How are you feeling?” Yamamoto asked quietly, his voice soft and endearing as his hand traveled down from the bomber’s head, tracing its way along Gokudera’s side.

The smaller teen shivered at the light, heated touch as he witnessed the other revel in the feeling of the smooth, creamy skin beneath his hand. Memories of the night before slowly replayed through Gokudera’s mind, a light blush coming to the little Italian’s cheeks as he shifted a little out of embarrassment, and regretted his action soon after.  A twinge of pain ran throughout the smaller teen’s body, making the silver-haired boy grimace as he felt the raw ache in his lower half.

“Sore,” Gokudera groggily grunted out, afraid to move again just in case the pain would escalate.  “It’s kind of hard to move.”

Worry immediately flashed across the taller teen’s face as he took in his companion’s words.

“R-Really?!” Yamamoto stuttered out, his voice edged with distress.  “Is there anything I can do to help, Goku—I mean—Hayato?”

The smaller teen almost laughed at how the raven-haired teen stumbled over his name.  He couldn’t really blame him; they were still so new to the whole idea of calling each other by their first names.

“Just…don’t move me, okay?” Gokudera mumbled out sleepily, a note of humor in his voice as he snuggled his head into the pillow below him for emphasis.  The silver-haired teen wasn’t sure if his lover had picked up on his non-caring attitude, because the distress never left the taller teen’s face, his hazel eyes becoming crestfallen.

“I’m sorry…” The dark-haired teen whispered in disappointment, hating the fact that he was the reason his lover was in pain.

Seeing how the other was beating himself up for something that couldn’t be helped, Gokudera just rolled his eyes as pleasant warmth turned in his stomach and spread throughout his body.  The smaller teen couldn’t help but feel flattered by the other’s concern for him.

“Takeshi?” Gokudera questioned softly as he brought his hand up from under the covers so that Yamamoto could see it, his pointer finger bending repeatedly in a beckoning motion.

Noticing that the other wanted him to come closer, Yamamoto only too willingly obliged, wanted nothing more than to make it up to Gokudera in any way that he could for causing him pain.  As he bent his face forward, wondering what the smaller teen wanted, Gokudera met him half way, pecking Yamamoto softly on the lips before drawing away.  The taller teen blinked a couple of times in confusion before he tilted his head slightly to the side in question, looking very much like a confused puppy.

Gokudera almost snorted in laughter at how cute the other looked (which he would never admit out loud!).

“I just remembered that I never said Merry Christmas to you yesterday, so…Merry Christmas, Idiot.”

There was a short pause before a gentle smile broke out onto Yamamoto’s lips as he laughed in amusement.

“Haha, but it’s not Christmas anymore, Hayato.  Does that even count?” The raven-haired teen teased, the smile on his face becoming broader by the second.

Gokudera just scoffed and rolled his eyes again before he corrected himself.

“Fine, how about Merry belated-Christmas? That better for you?” The storm guardian answered lightly, despite the slight note of irritation in his voice.

Yamamoto just smiled his trademark, idiotic smile, and chuckled at the other’s expense.

“Yep!  Much better!” The younger teen exclaimed before he hugged the other closer to him and claimed his lips in a slow, delicate, kiss.

Gokudera returned the kiss with gratitude, their tongues rubbing lazily against each other’s as the smaller teen tightened his grip around the taller teen’s upper body.  When they slowly parted for air, Yamamoto rested his forehead against his lover’s, the Japanese boy smiling in contentment. 

“You’re amazing,” the young athlete whispered lovingly, his voice hinting at a deeper meaning as he rubbed small circles into the smaller teen’s back, his hazel eyes shining with the utmost happiness.

The storm guardian’s whole body practically exploded into flushed crimson as he noted his lover’s words, and the even deeper meaning behind them.  He wasn’t **_that_** good last night!  Heck, he had hardly done anything!

“I-Idiot!” Gokudera yelled out in a flustered state, the smaller teen accidentally shifting his body to the side, causing another grimace to overcome his features.

“Shh, don’t move, Hayato,” Yamamoto whispered soothingly as he kissed the smaller teen’s forehead, his hand moving down to his lover’s side to rub affectionately at his hip. 

“I’m sorry that you’re in pain,” the taller teen continued.  “How about I make us some breakfast and bring it up to you?  That way, you don’t have to move so much.”

The notion sounded so appealing that Gokudera couldn’t really refuse, even though he knew that Yamamoto probably had other ulterior motives for wanting breakfast in bed.  His boyfriend was such a sap!

Gokudera’s only response to his waiting lover was to nod his head in embarrassment.

Yamamoto practically grinned from ear to ear at his lover’s acceptance.  He couldn’t help but inwardly gush at how cute Gokudera looked at the moment.

“Okay!  I promise to make it delicious!”

And with that enthusiastic remark, Yamamoto let go of Gokudera and stretched himself out in the bed, trying to awaken his sleepy muscles before he got up to slip on some pants (boxers included, of course), and a t-shirt.

Gokudera’s blush shined off his face like a beacon as he watched his lover slip out from under the covers, his toned body on full display as he walked over to his dresser to search for some clothes.  The smaller teen couldn’t steer his eyes away from the lovely sight. Even if he didn’t want them to, his jade-green eyes stayed transfixed on the other almost hungrily.

A playful smirk crossed the young athlete’s face as he felt the other’s eyes on him.  He decided then to purposely take his time in selecting his clothes before getting dressed, which only made Gokudera groan in irritation.

“Haha, you sound kind of frustrated, Hayato,” Yamamoto chuckled out as he slipped on a plain blue t-shirt, the taller teen fully dressed now.  “Anything I can help you with?”

Gokudera just brought a hand to his forehead and rubbed at his temples as he closed his eyes irritably, Yamamoto’s suggestive tone getting on his nerves.  He had a feeling that Yamamoto would be insatiable when it came to sexual activity, but the taller teen had to understand that he was in pain right now and not fit for any type of excursion, no matter what his lower half had to say at the moment.

“Just go and make breakfast, Idiot.  I’m starving,” the silver-haired teen grumbled out as he shifted to lie on his back, his face contorting into a wince as he did so.

In an instant, the suggestiveness in Yamamoto’s eyes vanished to be replaced by concern.  As the taller teen made his way over to the bed to peck Gokudera one more time on the lips, he stroked the side of his lover’s cheek, his voice lowered in sincerity.

“Okay, I’ll make you something really good…how about pancakes?  I think I have stuff to make the batter.”

The smaller teen unconsciously licked his lips at the sound of the offered breakfast food.

“Yeah, sure,” Gokudera offered up quietly as he brought a hand up to his mouth and yawned, his eyes blinking sleepily.

With another kiss on the other’s forehead to wish the other peaceful sleep, Yamamoto stood up and started making his way towards the hallway, taking note to close his bedroom door behind him as softly as he could so as not to wake his dozing lover.

As he began to make his way down the hall, a peculiar sound reached the baseball player’s ears.  He could hear Christmas music being played downstairs, which was unusual for his dad, since he usually stopped playing Christmas CD’s after Christmas. But there was another sound that accompanied the music that piqued the taller teen’s interest.  As he approached the stairs and tried to pinpoint the other noise, he finally figured out what the other sound was.  Below the loud drum of the stereo in the background, Yamamoto could distinctly pick out the soft murmurings of several people.

In an instant, cold dread took over the young athlete’s body as he realized that his dad had opened the store again for customers, but that’s not the real reason as to why the usually calm teen was breaking out into a worried sweat.  No, it was the fact that he just realized that he had sex with Gokudera last night in **_his_** house, under his father’s roof, where he was certain that they had been louder than necessary.  If that was the case, and his father had overheard…

Yamamoto gulped in trepidation as he slowly made his way down the stairs, ready for the knowing look in his father’s eyes.  He had been so stupid and careless last night! He had been overcome by his longing to the point where he, and even Gokudera, had refused to be cautious like they normally would be.  Hell, the only time that the two of them had been sexual with each other in any sense was when they were safely alone in Gokudera’s apartment, where no one would be any the wiser to their relationship.  Yamamoto had never tried to come up with a plan of action if his father ever found out about his relationship with Gokudera. He had just always hoped that both he and Gokudera would be cautious around the older man, and that he would never find out.

Obviously, Yamamoto had royally screwed that plan up.

Apprehensive step after apprehensive step, Yamamoto slowly trudged his way down the stairs until he entered the main restaurant.  Some regular customers were there to greet him (Yamamoto was thankful that it was only a few), but surprisingly, his dad was nowhere to be seen.  Having a feeling as to the older man’s whereabouts, and not liking the idea at all, Yamamoto begrudgingly made his way to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast for two. 

Upon his entry into the kitchen, Yamamoto practically came face to face with his father, who was at the big wooden counter in the middle of the room, slicing up a giant tuna for orders.  The black-haired teen shifted awkwardly in the entrance before he silently made his way over to the fridge to look for his pancake ingredients.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tsuyoshi from greeting his son.

As Yamamoto heard the happy, ‘good morning!’ directed at him from his father, the taller teen stiffened with his hand on the refrigerator handle, his back turned toward the older man.

“G-Good morning!” Yamamoto nervously replied as he turned to face his father with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his head as he tried to fill in the awkward silence that ensued afterwards.

“So…I didn’t expect to hear Christmas music when I came down this morning, haha!”

If Tsuyoshi noticed the uneasiness in his son’s laugh, he didn’t show it.  The spikey-haired man just gave a boisterous laugh as his signature grin appeared on his face.

“Haha!  Well I thought that the customers would still like to listen to something festive.  After all, just because Christmas is over doesn’t mean that people still don’t have the spirit for it!”

Yamamoto gave a slight uncomfortable laugh in return, but could feel his muscles relax when his father didn’t mention anything about him and Gokudera.  With an almost unnoticeable sigh of relief, the taller teen opened the refrigerator, and retrieved a carton of eggs before heading towards a side counter, away from his father so that he wouldn’t disturb him.

While this was going on, Yamamoto Senior continued to speak like he usually did, jolly and upbeat, like nothing was out of the norm.

“Haha, I also thought that some music would be a good distraction for the customers, just in case you and Gokudera-kun decided to get frisky again.  Hearing strange sounds and thumps coming from the ceiling tends to get awkward for people trying to eat!”

As those overly exuberant words left his father’s mouth, and as the outcome he had feared actually reared its ugly head in a completely unexpected way, Yamamoto choked back a startled exclamation as he felt himself trip over his own feet out of shock as he made his way to the counter.  From there, Tsuyoshi watched as his son scrambled to keep his footing in all his wide-eyed wonder, the taller teen fumbling with the carton of eggs in his hands as he lost his grip on them.  It eventually ended with Yamamoto falling backwards towards the ground, the young athlete’s quick reflexes saving him as he grabbed hold of the counter next to him in order to steady himself, his whole body being supported by that one arm as he barely kept himself from hitting the floor, his other arm upstretched towards the heavens with the carton of eggs held triumphantly within his grasp.

With a look of pure horror stretched onto his face as he glanced in his father’s direction from his strange position, Yamamoto waited on bated breath for his father’s next course of action.  He feared that the happy look on his father’s face would be replaced with anger and disappointment.

To the younger teen’s surprise, the older man burst into loud bouts of laughter.  The whole scene had been too much for Tsuyoshi, and as he clutched at his stomach, and tears came to his eyes from how hard he was laughing, he knew that he would never forget his son’s reaction, even if he started going senile at that very moment.

“Hahaha! No need to freak out, Takeshi,” the older man chuckled out good-naturedly, once he had calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence.  “I’ve known about your guys’ relationship for a while now.”

Yamamoto could only stare at his father in astonishment as he struggled to get into a standing position once again.  Eventually (after safely placing the carton of eggs on top of the counter), the taller teen grabbed the counter’s edge with both hands, and dragged himself up.  He would have never thought that someone as athletically fit as himself would have problems just trying to stand, but honestly, his whole body was as tense as a coiled up spring, and it felt heavy, like he was deep underwater, struggling to get to the surface.

“H-How d-did you f-find out?!” The taller teen finally stuttered out in shock as he stood up again, his hands gripping the counter like it was a life preserver.  Yamamoto was completely baffled as to how his father had figured out their secret.  He and Gokudera had been so careful to not raise suspicion!  Just how did this happen?!

This time, it was Yamamoto Senior’s turn to laugh awkwardly and rub the back of his head.  The older man was somewhat surprised that his son hadn’t figured out that he had noticed their (rather obvious, in his opinion), relationship. 

“Well…” The older man started uneasily as he caught the dismay in his son’s eyes.  “Remember the first day of Gokudera-kun’s training?”

Yamamoto couldn’t find the words to speak because of his fear, so he only nodded his head slightly in assent.  How could he forget that day?  It was the day that he could finally spend his time with his lover even while they were at work.  It had been one of his dreams to work alongside the other without having the mafia involved (even though it turned out to be more of a nightmare at first)!

“Remember when Gokudera-kun dropped his pencil when we were practicing taking down orders, and it rolled under the table, so he bent down to get it?” Tsuyoshi continued with a hopeful note in his voice.  In all honesty, he wished that Takeshi would actually remember what he was talking about so that he didn’t have to finish his explanation.

Seeing the confusion light up his son’s irises, Tsuyoshi just sighed and finished his explanation, if somewhat begrudgingly.  “Well, when Gokudera-kun bent down to search for his pencil, I was trying to talk to you.  You **_were_** responding back to me, but your eyes were basically **_glued_** to Gokudera-kun’s rear end the whole time.  From then on, I sort of had a feeling. And as I watched the two of you interact, it became pretty obvious.”

As the old memory finally resurfaced, and as his father’s words reached his ears, Yamamoto’s face exploded into a full-on blush, the young athlete practically dying from embarrassment.  Tsuyoshi wouldn’t have been surprised if the blush ran all the way to his son’s toes.

With a meek ‘oh’ leaving his lips, and resisting the urge to slap himself in the forehead, Yamamoto quickly turned around and started searching for the ingredients he needed, remembering that he was in the kitchen for a reason.  The taller teen was completely lost on what to do.  How could he honestly respond to something like that?  He was completely embarrassed by his past actions, and embarrassed that his father had known for such a long time. Because of that, he now felt completely self-conscious, wondering if there were any more unconsciously embarrassing things he had done around his lover to raise suspicion. And his father!  Even though his dad knew about his relationship with another man, was he really okay with it?  Was he disappointed in him?  Yamamoto couldn’t stop the overwhelming sadness and apprehension he felt as he thought those questions over, while mixing his gathered ingredients into a big mixing bowl as a form of distraction.

Tsuyoshi could only watch as his son awkwardly ignored him, an all-knowing twinkle in his eyes.  He had assumed that his son would react this way, and now he could only wait until Takeshi wanted to open the conversation to talk.  Tsuyoshi was firm in the belief of taking a passive route to a touchy subject such as this, especially since it was Takeshi’s subject to talk about in the first place.  He would just be patient and wait, and hope that he didn’t get any more customers so that he and his son could have a nice, long talk.

“Um…” Yamamoto finally muttered out in hesitance as he stopped stirring the pancake batter in the bowl.  Unable to make himself turn and face his father (something that his dad would probably be disappointed with), the taller teen just asked what had been on his mind for a while now; the same thought that had been a worry for him since the moment he found out he liked Gokudera.

“A-Are you disappointed in me?”

The question was spoken so quietly that Tsuyoshi had almost missed it.  His son’s voice was so full of fear that it was like he was suspecting his father to actually confirm his question, to **_disown_** him, and Tsuyoshi’s gut twisted in pity at the thought.  It pained him to see, to know, that his son had suffered for a long time, believing that he would be hated for something that came so naturally for him.

“Of course I’m not, Takeshi,” Tsuyoshi replied honestly, his voice completely genuine and full of love for his only son.  “How could I be disappointed in you falling in love with someone, even if it is a man?”

Yamamoto stood stock still, unable to believe what he was hearing.  The taller teen was so shocked by this turn of events that he could only stare ahead of him, his body unable to move to turn and face his father, to see the sincerity in the older man’s features.

“R-Really?” The young athlete stuttered out from his position at the counter, his voice shaky and breathless with hope. 

Even though Tsuyoshi could only see his son’s back, he could understand the tone of Takeshi’s voice just fine (he wasn’t so old that his hearing was going bad! Well…not that bad).  A small smile adorned the older man’s lips for a moment, as he tried to keep his voice light while he continued with his honest talk.

“Yes,” Tsuyoshi confirmed with light-hearted finality, before he went on to share the rest of his thoughts.  “If there is anything that I am disappointed about, it’s the fact that I won’t get biological grandchildren…if any at all, haha.”

Yamamoto couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle with his father, thankful that the older man was taking everything so well.  Truthfully, he had always wanted kids too, but with the fact that Gokudera wasn’t exactly fond of kids, and that living the life of a Mafioso was extremely dangerous, the concept of having children in his life was a far-out, almost unattainable, dream.

“Actually,” Yamamoto Senior continued, the laughter in his voice gone as it took on a note of seriousness. “Even though I’m happy for you, Takeshi, and that you’re serious about your relationship with Gokudera-kun, I can’t help but feel worried.  I just can’t stop the feeling that, you know…you could have picked someone…better?”

 Even though the last part of his sentence came out in uncertainty, like the spiky-haired man couldn’t decide if that was the right way to express what he was feeling, those words were daggers to Yamamoto’s heart.  Whatever hope or happiness he had been feeling with his father’s acceptance to his relationship was gone, only to be replaced by hurt and anger.  The raven-haired teen felt insulted at his father’s suggestion, not only for himself, but for Gokudera as well.

“How can you say that?!” Yamamoto shouted furiously as he stopped whatever he was doing, and spun around to face his dad with a hurt glare, the young man quick to come to the defense of his lover.

“Do you have any idea how much Gokudera has changed since you met him five years ago?!  He’s grown so much.  He actually knows how to get along with people now! He has friends, a **_family_** , and he actually opens up to me now!  He even thinks of you as his father figure!  Doesn’t that mean anything to you?!”

Tsuyoshi was completely speechless and taken back by Yamamoto’s reaction.  He knew he should have phrased his last sentence differently, but that didn’t change the fact that he did say something insulting.  Because of that, he couldn’t get a word in edge wise as his son continued to yell, and get angry with him, for the first time in his life.

“Gokudera has been through so much, Dad.  Sure, he can be a little crude, stubborn, and he’s quick to let his anger get to him, but underneath all that, he just wants to be accepted, he just wants a place to belong, and I’m damn proud that he decided to let me be the one to love him like he deserves!”

The silence that ensued after that was tense as father and son stared each other down, one completely shocked at the turn of events, and the other glaring heatedly in rebellion.  If there were any doubts before, there certainly were none now when it concerned Takeshi’s feelings for his silver-haired lover, Tsuyoshi was dead certain about that.

The older man broke the silence by letting out a deep sigh as he rubbed at his temples, trying to find the words to calm his son down and change the situation around.

“I’m sorry, Takeshi. Really,” Tsuyoshi started out with another apologetic sigh.  “I…I didn’t phrase what I really wanted to say correctly. I’m sorry that because of my screw up that you ended up getting hurt by my words.”

Yamamoto’s tensed up body seemed to relax slightly at his father’s words, but the anger and hurt in his expression never waned.  The taller teen just stood his ground and waited to hear the rest of his father’s explanation.

“You know that I’m only concerned for your wellbeing, Takeshi,” the older man continued as he rubbed the back of his head in anxiety.  “I have nothing against Gokudera-kun, I really don’t!  He’s a character for sure, but I know he’s a good kid at heart, and he’s always trying his best.  I just…” Tsuyoshi paused for a moment as he gathered the rest of his thoughts, a look of pain crossing his worn features.  “I just feel that he’s going to lead you down a dangerous path, Takeshi. That if you choose to follow your relationship with him, life will only continue to become difficult for you…”

There was another momentary pause before the pained look in Tsuyoshi’s eyes became gentle, and heartwarming, the older man never losing his serious attitude as he gave his son a small smile of acceptance.

“…But I’ve seen the two of you interact, and I know for a fact that you two care for each other deeply.  If this is the path you’ve both decided to take, and if the both of you really make each other happy, then I can’t complain.  After all, what good father doesn’t want his boys to be happy?” 

As those words reached his ears, Yamamoto’s expression slowly changed from anger to relief, thankful that he had heard his old man refer to Gokudera as one of his own.  His father was truly amazing, perceptive, and most of all, understanding.  Yamamoto was so thankful to have a father like him, and he could only hope that his relationship with Gokudera would progress from here, so as not to disappoint him (and who knows; maybe they could adopt some kids in the future?). 

Kids or not, all the raven-haired teen knew at the moment was that he had this image of the three of them being a big happy family, and he wanted to make that image a reality; especially for Gokudera.

“Thanks, Dad,” Yamamoto uttered gratefully, a small, happy smile slowly spreading across his lips.

Tsuyoshi just chuckled and rubbed the back of his head some more, relieved that the air between his son and himself was back to normal. 

After mentioning that he should get back to his customers, and that Takeshi and Gokudera-kun should spend the rest of their day peacefully, Tsuyoshi started heading back towards the main restaurant with the promise of extra sushi for dinner.  Yamamoto smiled at the prospect, and turned around to finish making his breakfast (or brunch in his case), only too eager to see his little bomber again.

* * *

 

When Yamamoto finally made his way back up the stairs, a breakfast tray topped with two plates of steaming pancakes, a cup of coffee, and glass of milk in his hands, the younger teen couldn’t suppress the happy-go-lucky smile on his face and the hop to his step.  Yes, the young athlete was extremely happy and worry free after his talk with his father, and his happiness only increased as he thought about the prospects of a romantic breakfast in bed with his beloved bomber.

All of that happiness was quickly replaced with concern, though, when the taller teen opened the door to his bedroom (with some difficulty), and found Gokudera sitting up in bed, the covers pooling around his naked hips, and his face in his hands.

Yamamoto was startled to say the least, and he honestly believed that the smaller teen was crying until he inspected the other further.  As he got a closer look, it became clear to the raven-haired teen that the other wasn’t crying because he made no noise whatsoever, and his shoulders weren’t shaking, they were just tense and hunched up.  But that still didn’t change the fact that Gokudera was upset about something.

Setting his breakfast tray on the floor, Yamamoto cautiously made his way towards the bed, the other’s name leaving his lips in a soft question.

Hearing his name, Gokudera glanced up in Yamamoto’s direction, a look of complete horror on his face.

The concern for his lover only escalated as Yamamoto saw the smaller teen’s expression.  Just what on earth happened while he was gone to cause Gokudera to react this way?!

Gokudera apparently saw the question in the taller teen’s eyes, because in the next moment, he opened his mouth to speak.

“T-This is your house…” The smaller teen stated slowly in a state of shock, is voice carrying a tone of utter disbelief, like the fact that he had stated was too earth shattering to even conceive.

Yamamoto’s concern quickly turned into confusion.

“Hayato, what—?”

“This is **_your_** house!” Gokudera interrupted with a note of hysterics, his jade-green eyes becoming wild with despair.  “I can’t believe I just realized that we just had sex in your house!  Your father probably heard us!  His bedroom is right next door for fucking sake!  Hell, he could have probably heard us all the way from downstairs, since we weren’t exactly **_trying_** to be quiet!”

Yamamoto could only watch on as his lover freaked out and spoke a mile a minute, his eyes becoming so round that the taller teen wondered if they would pop out of the older teen’s head at any moment.

“Fuck!  Why wasn’t I **_thinking_**?!  We could have at least tried to be quiet!” Gokudera continued to lament as he averted his eyes away from the taller teen in shame.  He wasn’t ashamed of what they did; far from it, in fact.  No, he was ashamed of what the answer to his next question would be, because he already had a suspicion as to what it was.

“Does…Does your dad know?” The young Italian choked out as he hung his head low in sadness, already fearing the answer.

Yamamoto muttered out a soft ‘yeah’, which Gokudera was only too willing to take.  Before the raven-haired teen could go on to explain the situation in the kitchen, Gokudera already assumed how Tsuyoshi thought of him now, and brought his hands to his forehead, his slim fingers clutching at his hair in despair. 

“Wait, Hayato!  It’s alright, really!” Yamamoto exclaimed as he knelt down near the bed so that his face was somewhat level with his lover’s.  The silver-haired teen didn’t loosen the grip he had on his hair, but he did turn to look at his companion with a look of startled wonder on his face.

“I talked to my dad, and he accepts us, Hayato!” The raven-haired teen went on to explain, a jubilant expression lighting up his face.  “He’s actually known about us for a while—”

Gokudera’s eyes widened back into shock as he opened his mouth to question, but Yamamoto completely ignored him (it was obvious he did it on purpose, and Gokudera made a mental note to press on it further at a later time), and continued talking.

“—you know how perceptive my dad is, after all, haha!  But even though he’s a little disappointed that I won’t give him any grandkids, and he’s worried about what our futures may hold, he really just wants the both of us to be happy.”

As Yamamoto ended his explanation with his trademark, idiotically innocent grin, Gokudera could only stare at him completely flabbergasted. 

“Really?” The smaller teen whispered; the other’s words too good to be true.  

Yamamoto just bestowed his little lover with an endearing gaze as he responded.

“Yeah, he really does, Hayato,” The young athlete replied gently, his gaze sincere.  “He literally stated that he couldn’t consider himself a good father if he didn’t want his boys to be happy!  Did you hear that?  My father actually thinks of you as a son!”

Gokudera could only stare at the taller teen in complete astonishment.  Almost believing that he had heard wrong.  But as he looked into Yamamoto’s eyes, and the other teen nodded his head in assent to his silent question, the smaller teen couldn’t stop the overwhelming sense of relief and happiness that washed over him.

Feeling his eyes beginning to tear up again, Gokudera quickly brought his kneeling lover into a tight embrace, hiding his face from view in the crook of the other’s neck.  Of course, that didn’t stop Yamamoto from seeing Gokudera’s eyes glisten with unshed tears before he did so.  The young athlete just smiled softly to himself as he hugged the older teen back, waiting patiently for the other to compose himself.

When Gokudera finally drew himself away, denying vehemently that he had gotten emotional in the first place, Yamamoto got up and brought the breakfast tray over to the bed.  After setting the scrumptious food upon the smaller teen’s lap and sitting across from him on the bed, the two teens happily dug into the food, neither of them realizing just how hungry they were until they both took their first bite of the fluffy pancakes. 

Once they were done devouring their breakfast with hardly a word said between them (Yamamoto was slightly disappointed that their breakfast in bed hadn’t been ideally romantic), and they noticed how dirty they were from the night before and from eating their syrupy cakes, Yamamoto was only too happy to suggest taking a bath together.  Gokudera was a little hesitant towards the idea at first, even though the both of them had bathed together before.  It was just that everything felt so new to him still, like the night before had reset everything, and the silver-haired teen was irritated that, because of that feeling, he was being reduced to a blushing virgin at the suggestion.

Yamamoto chuckled upon seeing the vibrant blush spread across his lover’s face, his adoration for the storm guardian only increasing when he saw him silently nod his assent towards a bath together.  Excited about the prospects, the raven-haired teen kissed the feisty bomber on the lips, before declaring that he would get the bath ready.

With an overly pleased look on his face and a bounce to his step, Yamamoto left his bedroom while humming a happy tune in a rather out of key manner (much to Gokudera’s irritation).  After filling the old-styled cedar tub with steaming hot water and placing a wash basin with shampoo, soap, and wash clothes near the shower station, the overly happy teen made his way back to the room, only to find Gokudera trying to struggle up from the floor (apparently, he had tried to walk on his own).

Giving his lover a look of guilt as the smaller teen shot a venomous glare his way (which did nothing to distract Yamamoto from noticing the embarrassed blush adorning Gokudera’s cheeks), the tranquil rain guardian went over and helped his lover onto his feet.  Seeing that the other still winced at the slight action, and that his legs were still wobbly, Yamamoto then decided to throw caution to the wind and picked Gokudera up bridal style, despite the smaller teen’s protests and slaps to his chest.  Yamamoto just laughed the other’s antics off as he entered the bathroom, and placed the silver-haired teen gently down on a bath stool, offering the other to wash up first since he still had to remove his clothes.

As Yamamoto made his way over to a far corner of the bathroom to place his clothes in a basket, Gokudera heeded the other’s words and started applying soap to one of the wash clothes after he had soaked his body with the shower hose.  It had been awhile since he had the luxury of taking a Japanese-styled bath.  His small apartment bathroom was only equipped with a western, duel shower and tub, to save up on space, after all.

By the time the raven-haired teen returned, Gokudera already had a good lather over most of his body, especially in a certain area.  Yamamoto couldn’t help but blush at that as he offered to scrub down the smaller teen’s back.  The feisty Italian was only too quick to hand over the wash cloth, the smaller teen humming in approval once he felt the taller boy scrub along his spine in gentle circles.  It was here that the young athlete was quick to notice that Gokudera hadn’t shampooed his hair yet.  As Yamamoto reached for the shampoo bottle, he noticed the quick glance that his lover gave him before the silver-haired teen turned back to his original position and waited, not bothering to make a fuss at Yamamoto’s suggestion, or stop him for that matter.

The young athlete smiled softly as he came to realize that Gokudera had probably wanted him to wash his hair from the start.  He didn’t leave his lover disappointed as he applied an adequate amount of shampoo to his hand and began lathering up the other’s silver tresses, the taller teen’s calloused hands just the right mixture of gentle and firm as he massaged his lover’s scalp.  Yamamoto tried not to get too excited at the low hums and light moans of approval that left Gokudera’s lips from the lavished treatment, knowing that the smaller teen was in no condition for any form of sexual activity.

Deeming that he should probably stop before things got too out of hand, Yamamoto stopped massaging the other’s scalp to help him stand as they went under the shower head to rinse off together (it really worked out in the end since Gokudera had trouble standing and Yamamoto still had to wash up too).  As the warm water cascaded down their bodies, washing the soap off of Gokudera’s skin, the two teens just held each other closely, their lips finding each other’s in a slow, heated kiss.  Both of the teens closed their eyes in rapture as their tongues tangled and tussled lovingly, both basking in the other’s touch, and the moment.

When the kiss ended, and Gokudera’s hair and body had been thoroughly rinsed of soap, the taller teen helped the smaller over to the awaiting tub.  After some slight protests from the young Italian about returning the favor in helping the other wash up, and in which Yamamoto refused the other’s help, knowing that the other’s touch would only undo him more, Gokudera was slowly lowered into the tub to soak.

By the time Yamamoto joined his lover in the circular tub after washing himself off, Gokudera was thoroughly enjoying his bath, the warm water doing wonders for his aching muscles.  The taller teen chuckled at the other’s pleased and relaxed expression, the silver-haired teen looking very much like a purring cat basking in the sun.  Really, Gokudera was too cute for words sometimes. 

With his body heat adding to his lover’s comfort, Gokudera was completely and utterly relaxed for one of the very few times in his life.  As he rested his head on Yamamoto’s shoulder, and the taller teen wrapped an arm around his waist in return, the storm guardian couldn’t help but let out a contented sigh, Yamamoto soon joining in.

“You’re in a cuddly mood today,” the rain guardian commented with a pleased hum, not at all complaining about how affectionate the other was being.

“Keep talking and I won’t be,” Gokudera lightly grumbled back as he closed his eyes, nuzzling the side of his head into the taller teen’s shoulder more.

Yamamoto’s only reply was a warm-hearted chuckle and a soft smile as he affectionately squeezed the smaller teen’s hip under the water.  The two of them sat in silence for a couple minutes, both of them relaxing as the warm water soothed their stiff joints.  That is, until thoughts about the future resurfaced in Yamamoto’s mind as he remembered his earlier conversation with his father.  A light frown soon came upon the taller teen’s lips as he unconsciously tightened his hold around his precious lover.

“I’m going to miss this,” Yamamoto broke through the silence lightly, his voice filled with sadness.  “You know, being around you all the time…”

Gokudera stiffened at his companion’s words as he was reminded of their current time limit.  They only had about four more months of high school before they would be going off to separate colleges.  When that time came, they would hardly get to see each other.  After all, the colleges they were entering were a couple hours away from each other, and both of them were going to have very difficult schedules to work around.  So it would only be too soon that moments like this would become few and far between.

“It can’t be helped.  We both decided this,” Gokudera reminded his lover as gently as he could. They had discussed this some couple months back when they were picking out the colleges they wanted to go to. 

“I wanted to go to a prestigious college for the challenge of my studies, and because it would look good if the Tenth Vongola Boss’ right-hand man went to an honorary college.  And you have a scholarship to join one of the most athletically credible colleges in the country, which also has a pretty decent academic program that even **_your_** idiotic brain can follow without too much trouble.  We both came to the conclusion that you couldn’t follow me to my college because the academic curriculum would be too difficult for you, and since you would only get into it via scholarship anyway.  Also, the Tenth and you both refused to let me follow you guys, because you didn’t want to hold me back from what I wanted to do for myself, and for the Family.”

Even with his boyfriend’s matter-of-fact attitude, Yamamoto could still pick up the twinge of disappointment and depression their current talk was bringing out in him.  Although he didn’t want to show it, Yamamoto could tell that Gokudera was going to miss him too.  The taller teen brought his head down to bury his face into his lover’s wet, silver locks, the smaller teen hesitantly returning the affection by wrapping his arm around Yamamoto’s waist as well.  They were just going to have to make these last few months count, and cherish the moments they had, before they had to separate again.

As the both of them sat there, both losing track of the time as they came to their silent agreement, they both knew that even though they would separate again (on completely different terms, thankfully), they would make time to see each other whenever the opportunity arose.  They had gone through far too much in the past couple of months to just let things end now, just because of the prospect of a long distance relationship.  Gokudera had even mentioned to Yamamoto, when they had come to their decision earlier on in the year, that their years in college were training them for when they would be going on separate missions after they became the official Tenth Generation to the Vongola Family.  Those missions required them to leave for months or even years on end, depending on the situation.  So in actuality, if they could get through their distance apart in college, then they could get through their missions in the future without too much trouble.     

But still, the prospect of being far apart for months on end was grating and depressing.  No matter what happened, from here on out, things were just going to become more difficult.  And as the two teens held each other, both of them knew that the other was up for the challenge; distance wasn’t going to tear them apart.

As he contemplated this, and about when their next vacation time would be, Yamamoto suddenly remembered the present his father gave him for Christmas.  A newfound excitement coursed through the young athlete’s veins as he thought over the idea of spending his summer break with Gokudera in Tokyo.

“Hey, Hayato?” The raven-haired teen questioned in his excitement, as he waited for his lover to look at him.  He was so happy that he might be able to use the tickets his father had bought for him, since the thought of using them had only depressed him the day before. 

Hearing the drastic change in tone in his lover’s voice, Gokudera raised his head from the other’s tanned shoulder and peered into his enthusiastic eyes with interest, wondering what had caused such a change.

“What?” The smaller teen asked lightly in curiosity.

“Well, I—you know—um…” The taller teen fumbled out in a rush, eager to share his good news.  “For Christmas, my dad bought me two tickets to Tokyo as a going away present that I’m supposed to use for my summer vacation.  He said that he would pay for all of the expenses too, and that I could take any of my friends along!”  He paused then for a moment, his gaze becoming earnest.  “Will you come with me to Tokyo, Hayato?”

The silver-haired teen stared up at the other aghast, completely shocked at the turn of events.  Truth be told, he loved the idea of spending his vacation in Tokyo, just the two of them, but the young bomber couldn’t help but be a little upset at the reminder of the other’s Christmas present, and his recent trip to Tokyo through the Ten-Year-Bazooka.

“Two tickets to Tokyo for Christmas, huh?” Gokudera whispered out a little hoarsely as he averted his gaze downwards, away from the other’s concerned hazel eyes.  “I…bet that felt horrible…getting those, yesterday…”

“Hey,” Yamamoto stated firmly as he lifted the smaller teen’s chin up with his free hand, his eyes resolute.  “That’s all water under the bridge now.  What matters now is that I enjoy my use out of them, and with the person I love.”

Emerald-green eyes shook with uncertainty as they stared up into fervent brown, the taller of the two seemingly contemplating something over, before he spoke again.

“You know what?  If you come with me, we can go and visit the hotel I saw your mom at.” The taller teen offered, his eyes sparking with vigor as he explained his new idea.  “I definitely know that my dad wouldn’t be able to afford for the both of us to stay there, haha, and I don’t remember the name, but I’m pretty sure I would recognize it if I saw a picture of it.  I think your mom told me that her father owned the hotel, and one of his friends owned the classy restaurant there. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if we just went in there to look, since you’re the grandson of the hotel’s owner and all.”

There was another short pause in where Gokudera sadly shifted his gaze to the side, unable to move his head since Yamamoto still held his chin within his hand.

“Both of my mother’s parents died a year before I came to Japan.  I never got a chance to talk to them…” 

“O-Oh…” The taller teen stated awkwardly, before quickly bouncing back with his regular enthusiasm.  “W-Well maybe your grandfather’s friend is still alive and in charge of the restaurant?  If he is, I’m sure he would like to meet you since he knew your mother very well too!  The reason why she was there in the first place was because she was helping to fill in for his regularly scheduled pianist.  Would…” He continued softly.  “…Wouldn’t it be cool to see one of the places where your mother played piano?  Wouldn’t you want to see the place where I…I got our promise ring?”

At that, the silver-haired teen consciously felt the empty space around his neck where the promise ring had laid only moments ago (he had taken it off before entering the shower since he didn’t want it to rust).  That was the only reminder he needed in order to answer the taller teen’s question.

“Well, I suppose we can visit it…” Gokudera tried to mutter off-handedly, like he wasn’t fazed by the importance of the scenario.  “But while we’re also in Tokyo, we’re going to see some museums!  The least I can do is force some knowledge into your head, since you’re probably only going to want to do stupid things like go to a baseball game!”

At first, Yamamoto could only blink at the other stupidly, completely surprised by his lover’s answer.  When the words finally sunk in, and he realized that Gokudera had accepted not only his offer to travel to Tokyo with him, but to visit the spot he had met his mother, the taller teen’s face broke out into jubilation.

“Well, baseball would be in season at the time, haha!”  The young athlete laughed ecstatically.  “It would be a waste not to see one game!”

Gokudera just grumbled and rolled his eyes as he turned away from the other, trying to hide the blush flourishing onto his cheeks.  Of course, that didn’t stop his taller companion from swooping down and planting a passionate ‘thank you kiss’ on his lips.

* * *

 

An hour later, after fully enjoying their bath, Yamamoto and Gokudera headed back towards the taller teen’s bedroom.  The stubborn, silver-haired teen slowly followed after his fully-clothed boyfriend with a towel wrapped around his waist, despite Yamamoto’s slight protests to help him.  Gokudera had realized that he was able to walk (somewhat), all by himself now, and was taking full advantage of it; it was just a slow process. It really didn’t help matters much when it looked like he had a limp though.

Once the two teens entered the bedroom, Gokudera walked over towards Yamamoto’s closet to grab some of the clothes that he kept there for his overnight stays, while the raven-haired teen noticed the wrapping paper and gift box from yesterday laying on the ground, and went over to pick them up.  While the taller teen stooped down to retrieve the parcels on the ground, something flashy caught his eye.  Taking a quick glance in the direction of the sheen, caramel-colored eyes took in the sight of the silver and black, punk-styled, cross emblem, which lay on the floor an arm’s width away.  As recognition dawned in the rain guardian’s eyes, he reached a tan hand across the floor and picked the emblem ( ** _his_** emblem, courtesy of Gokudera) off of the floor, feeling the somewhat heavy weight of the metal in his palm. 

After throwing the wrapping paper and gift box away in a nearby garbage can, Yamamoto retrieved his Vongola Gear from his bedside table.  With that, he easily slipped the emblem through the chain and re-attached the necklace around his neck, feeling the extra weight as the emblem was added to his ensemble.

As he admired how the cross looked next to his sword emblem, Gokudera came up beside him, the smaller teen fully dressed now, and ready for the remainder of the day.  The young Italian gave his lover’s gear a quick once over, before he turned his head and started slipping back on his assortment of jewelry that was also laid upon Yamamoto’s bedside table.

“Hm, not bad,” the silver-haired teen commented as he slipped on his rings and bracelets, his tone light with self-satisfaction.

Yamamoto gave a knowing smile as he noted the other’s pleased tone. 

“Yeah, I think it looks pretty cool too, haha!  Thanks, Hayato.”

Gokudera didn’t respond as he tried to fully turn his body away from the other to hide his blush, and distract himself with re-attaching his necklaces.  Yamamoto saw this as an opportunity, and quickly reached out to grab the necklace with the promise ring from the nightstand before Gokudera could.  After that, despite the smaller teen’s protests and complaints about Yamamoto being a cheesy idiot, Gokudera allowed the other to place the necklace around his neck where it belonged. 

From there, the rest of their afternoon was spent playing video games up in Yamamoto’s room, and, for old time’s sake, doing some laundry, since they had made a mess of the taller teen’s bed sheets.  Gokudera was sort of proud (but he would never admit it), to see his companion at work in the laundry room, noting the massive difference in Yamamoto’s laundry expertise from their first laundry expedition a year ago.

It was also around mid-afternoon when Gokudera received a call from Tsuna, catching the two teens off guard.  The smaller teen was a little flustered at the unexpected call, but answered his awaiting boss anyways, who had called to check up on him and to ask how things with Yamamoto had gone.  The raven-haired teen in question just smiled satisfactorily as he overheard the conversation, since Gokudera was sitting right next to him in front of his game console, their video game currently paused. 

After explaining to Tsuna that everything was alright between Yamamoto and him, and hearing a sigh of relief from the shorter teen on the other end of the phone, there was a sudden exclamation and an ‘oof’ from Tsuna before the voice on the other end changed into a more nasally one.  Both Yamamoto and Gokudera stiffened as they heard Reborn ask in his all-knowing voice, if they had, ‘done it’ yet, already knowing the answer despite his questioning tone.  Gokudera couldn’t even reply when he heard Bianchi raging on the other end, a short distance away from Reborn apparently, about melting Yamamoto’s face off with her poison cooking for defiling her little brother.  The call ended with Reborn telling them to not let their relationship mess with their work, and with an exclamation from Tsuna—“What?!  They’re going out?!—before the dial tone signaled that the Arcobaleno had hung up.

Yamamoto and Gokudera could only stare at the phone in utter shock before the silver-haired teen slapped himself in the forehead, worrying about how the Tenth would perceive him now, while his taller companion laughed nervously beside him.  With a little consoling from Yamamoto that Tsuna wouldn’t stop being their friend just because of their sexual preferences, Gokudera made a mental note to call Tsuna up later to talk, while Yamamoto made his own mental note to not go anywhere near Tsuna’s house in general, for fear of Bianchi.

Once dinner time finally rolled around, and the two hungry teens made their way down stairs (Yamamoto had to help Gokudera a little bit, much to the smaller teen’s chagrin), they were met with an empty shop.  Tsuyoshi was currently sweeping up the store, and as he waved to the two teens, mentioning that the left over sushi was in the kitchen (Gokudera shying his eyes away from the older man out of self-consciousness), he quickly went back to his work of closing up his store.

It was twenty minutes later, while the two teens were finishing up their meal and fighting over the last piece of fatty tuna, that the both of them got a surprise.  Just as Yamamoto won the argument, and popped the last piece of sushi into his mouth, Tsuyoshi came bursting into the kitchen with a camcorder held up to his face.

“Oh Takeshi, I almost forgot!” The older man exclaimed in excitement as he made his way up to the kitchen table, and practically shoved the video recorder into the two boys’ surprised faces. “Your mother would have been disappointed with me if I didn’t get another one of your firsts on camera!”

The two teens stared up at the older man in complete confusion (Gokudera more so than Yamamoto, of course), before the taller teen’s eyes lit up in realization, a blush quickly flourishing across his cheeks.

“D-Dad!  Mom doesn’t need to know about it!” The young swordsman cried out in horror as he tried to cover the video camera lens with his hands.

Tsuyoshi was still nimble in his old age, of course, so he just danced out of his sitting son’s reach, camcorder still happily recording his and Gokudera’s moment.

“Now, now, Takeshi, remember the rules.  I have to record all of your firsts.”  The older man stated with a matter-of-fact tone.  “I’m just recording your moment with Gokudera-kun here, since I couldn’t exactly record you guys doing your thing last night.  That would have been rude, awkward, and not to mention, completely creepy.”

Yamamoto could only cover his scarlet face with his hands and groan in embarrassment, while Gokudera stared between the two Yamamotos, completely flabbergasted, lost, and a little freaked out that Yamamoto Senior had just mentioned his son’s sexual excursion the night before so casually, like he was mentioning the weather.

“Just what the fuck are you two talking about?!” The silver-haired teen exclaimed in complete astonishment, a look of horror (much like his boyfriend’s), marring his features at the implications of what Tsuyoshi just said.

“Oh! Sorry for keeping you out of the loop, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuyoshi mentioned, as he brought the video camera down from his face so that he could fully look at the other, but still kept the camera at head level in order to capture his footage.  “It’s been a common tradition in this household since Takeshi was born.  Even though his mother isn’t with us anymore, I didn’t want to leave her out of seeing our precious son grow up, so I came up with the idea of recording all of Takeshi’s ‘firsts’ on video.  The first time he smiled, laughed, joined the baseball team, you name it!  I’ve recorded them all in order to share them with my wife.  We watch all of the videos over our anniversary!”

No words could describe what Gokudera was feeling at that moment as he stared up into Tsuyoshi’s jubilant face. Shocked didn’t even begin to cut it. 

“S-So, what you’re recording now is…” The stuttering storm guardian trailed off as realization and dismay slowly dawned on him.

“Yep!  This is Takeshi’s first ‘morning after’, although it’s technically evening!” Tsuyoshi exclaimed without a care in the world as he brought the camcorder up to his eye again.  “I couldn’t really get this footage since I was so busy with the shop this morning, and actually, I had completely forgotten!  Good thing I finally remembered! Now smile for the camera, Gokudera-kun.”

“I think Mom is fine without seeing this, Dad!” Yamamoto shouted in embarrassment from behind his hands.  Tsuyoshi naturally ignored him, opting to instead talk to the camcorder like it was his wife as he circled around the table, taking joy out of seeing his son squirm in embarrassment.  He saw this as a form of punishment for keeping him up last night.

“Look Misaki!  Our son’s all grown up and in love.  Isn’t it cute?”

“Dad!  Stop it!”  Yamamoto begged as he found the strength to jump from his chair and push his father out of the room, Tsuyoshi laughing the whole way, even after the kitchen door was slammed shut in his face.

“Hey!  Don’t slam the door, Takeshi!  The wood paneling is fragile!”

Yamamoto ignored his father’s order, and turned around to face his completely dumbstruck lover still sitting at the kitchen table.  An awkward silence ensued as the two stared at each other, not sure on what to do, or how to react.  Finally, unable to take the silence any longer, Yamamoto gave out a nervous laugh as he hitched a thumb over his shoulder to point at the door.

“Heh, sorry, my dad’s a little eccentric…”

There was another short pause before Gokudera found the words to reply.

“Che, tell me something I don’t know, Idiot,” the smaller teen mumbled out awkwardly as he ruffled his hair with a hand, trying to steer the topic into less awkward territory.

Too bad he failed.

“So…he records your firsts, huh?”

“Um…yeah, haha.  Kind of weird, isn’t it?” Yamamoto laughed lightly in embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well…it’s kind of a nice thing…to do for your mother, I mean,” the silver-haired teen responded slowly, his eyes alighting with a bit of intrigue.

Yamamoto was quick to catch the glimpse in the other’s eye, and a newfound dread overcame him.

“You want to see the videos now, don’t you?” The taller teen uttered with defeat, a slight slouch to his posture. 

“Will they be embarrassing?” The smaller teen asked, a note of hope entering his words.

“Some of them will be, yeah,” Yamamoto muttered dejectedly as he made himself busy by grabbing their dirty dishes, and placing them in the sink.  He already had an idea of what Gokudera was going to say next.

“Well, then they might be worth seeing once,” Gokudera answered with a slightly evil smirk.  He couldn’t wait to see what was on those tapes that would cause his boyfriend to fidget like he was now.  Oh, this was going to be good.

Knowing that there was no way he could refuse the other, Yamamoto conceded in defeat.  Truthfully, he was kind of looking forward to watching some of his home videos with Gokudera (albeit the embarrassing ones), so he couldn’t complain too much.

“Okay, they’re placed in the living room, so we can go and watch them,” Yamamoto replied with a slightly shaky smile.  “You know, I really am sorry about what my dad did earlier.  I promise that something that embarrassing won’t happen to you again.”

Seeing the apology in his lover’s eyes, Gokudera’s voice became a little softer as he responded back, getting up from his chair. 

“Che, don’t worry about it.  I was just shocked, that’s all,” The smaller teen tried to defend, failing to stop the blush that came to his cheeks. “Anyways, it doesn’t matter now since it’s over. As for it not happening again, I’m not too sure about that.”

Yamamoto raised his eyebrows in confusion at the other’s statement.

“Huh?  What do you mean?”

Gokudera shifted awkwardly for a moment before he replied in a more confident manner.

“Well, you’re dad was recording your first morning after you topped, right?” The silver-haired teen explained with certainty.  “He’ll probably want to record the morning after you bottom too.”

Yamamoto blinked in shock for a moment, before he laughed, not expecting something like that to come out of his lover’s mouth.

“Wow, you sound pretty confident there, Hayato!” The taller teen teased lightly.  “You think you can make me bottom?”

“Che!  I don’t think so, I **_know_** so,” the little Italian stated with a confident smirk.  “You just watch out for yourself sometime in the near future.”  And with that, the storm guardian started hobbling away in the direction of the living room.

Yamamoto just watched his lover trying to walk away and burst into laughter, his embarrassment over their previous situation completely forgotten.

“Hahahaha! You know, it’s hard to take you seriously when you’re limping away from me like that!”

Gokudera’s only reply to that was a loud, ‘shut up!’, before the taller teen joined him on their trek to the living room.  When they sat down to view the tons of videos his father had recorded, Yamamoto couldn’t help but smile in contentment as he placed his arm around his lover while they snuggled into the couch (Gokudera, of course, putting up a fuss when he did). And as the promise ring glistened around the smaller teen’s neck from the setting sunlight, the taller teen knew that an interesting future was ahead of him.  No matter what the obstacle, or how difficult the times were going to be for them, Yamamoto had a feeling that the both of them would be able to see it through, and keep growing together.

And as the taller teen caught the glance and the soft smile from his smaller companion out of the corner of his eye, he knew that Gokudera felt the exact same way.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here's the last chapter. Initially, this story is 14 chapters long and the 13th chapter was a little omake my original editor wrote for me concerning this story. I was going to include it, but realized that it contained a lot of inside jokes that people on this site wouldn't get, so I just decided to pass it up. If you really want to read it then you can try to find my story on Fanfiction.net and read it there =) Other than that, this is the official last chapter of this story.
> 
> As for the warnings for this chapter it's rated a high T, at the least, for stated sexual situations (but I don’t go into detail). Also, near the end will be a song fic, of sorts. The song is called ‘The Promise of the World’, which is the song that’s played at the end of Howl’s Moving Castle. It’s a really pretty song, and I highly recommend that everyone listens to it, if not before reading then during the time that it’s supposed to play in the story. Also, the lyrics I’m using are translated into English, and are not necessarily supposed to match up with what’s happening in the story. The song is being played during a flashback, so the memories that are happening are occurring while the song is being played. If that confused anyone I’m sorry, but I think you will understand once you get to that part. Words in Italics are the lyrics, and words that are in Italics and Parenthesis are people speaking in Italian. Also, the clothes I mention on Yamamoto in this chapter were actually from a KHR trading card image I found, and the short story at the end of the chapter is a time skip connected to this story ;). Enjoy!

It had been four months since the last time he had seen Yamamoto.  The last time he saw his Baseball Idiot’s face was when he was entering the mini moving van his father had rented for the day, with half of his body waving stupidly out the window as they started driving down the street towards his college (which was about two hours away), and almost getting his arm torn off by a telephone poll in the process. 

To say that Gokudera was worried about Yamamoto living by himself (roommates don’t count, especially freshman!), was an understatement.

Both he and his idiotic lover were kept busy throughout the first four months of college. Homework, tutoring, and baseball keeping the two from seeing each other, even though their colleges were about an hour and a half away by train, **_if_** they didn’t get on the wrong line, that is.  Yamamoto had tried to ditch classes one day to visit him, and had ended up getting on the wrong train.  He basically spent the whole day on the train, coincidentally sitting next to the Crazy Old Lady from the sushi shop, her restraining order not in effect because she wasn’t anywhere near Takesushi. 

The rain guardian said that he had bruises for a month after that, but he wouldn’t explain how he had gotten them.

Crazy old ladies aside, the only way Gokudera and Yamamoto stayed in touch throughout the long months apart was via late night phone calls, since both of their schedules were crazy busy during most of the day.  Sadly, by the time they did get to talk, both of them were usually exhausted, and didn’t say much, their brains already ready for the sweet unconsciousness of sleep. Because of this, both teens found the first few months of college to be exhausting and almost unbearable, the two teens longing to see each other like they never had before.

When summer break finally rolled around for the both of them, the two teens found it almost impossible to contain their excitement (of course, Gokudera never showed an inkling of excitement on the outside, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fidgeting around in anticipation on the inside).  The two of them would have six full, blessed weeks of together time, and the first of those weeks would be spent in Tokyo.

Sadly, not everything went according to plan at first.  Yamamoto and Gokudera planned to meet in Namimori on their first day of break to visit with everyone again before they would head out to Tokyo the next day.  But Gokudera’s direct train to Namimori decided that it wanted to have technical difficulties that day, so the only way that the smaller teen could actually make it back to town was if he went out of his way to take several different lines, and spend a good portion of his spending money in the process.  Hearing this, Yamamoto (who had no problems making it to Namimori, since he took a different train), offered that Gokudera could take the earliest train out to Namimori the next day (since the silver-haired teen stated that whatever problem was causing his delay would probably be fixed by morning), and that they would meet at the station to take their trip to Tokyo.

When the next day finally arrived, and Yamamoto had received a call from Gokudera bright and early in the morning, telling him that the train was fixed and that he was on his way, the tired teen jumped out of bed to get ready to meet his little lover, his energy renewed. 

Once the young athlete arrived at the station, and he saw his silver-haired lover standing on the platform for Tokyo, waiting for him, the biggest smile appeared on Yamamoto’s face.  And when Gokudera’s jade-green eyes met his, Yamamoto could tell that the other was struggling, and failing, to contain his own excited smile.  It took every ounce of control the raven-haired teen had to not run the rest of the way to his awaiting partner, scoop him up, and kiss him until they were both breathless.  But sadly, the younger teen took note that they were in public, and since Gokudera didn’t permit public displays of affection, the two teens had to contain themselves, and only allow a small affectionate hug to be their form of greeting, the two looking nothing more than good friends to any passersby. 

* * *

The train ride to Tokyo wasn’t necessarily long, it only being about five hours, but it was the longest five hours of Yamamoto and Gokudera’s lives.  That was to be expected though when the two of them had to be in a packed dining train for an extended period of time; the teens too afraid to touch each other in anyway, lest someone would look at them funny.  Eventually, when they exited the train station, and took a shuttle to their hotel, the two anxious teens couldn’t get to their room fast enough.  When they finally entered the room, leaving the ‘Do not disturb’ sign in its original position on the outside handle, Gokudera smashed his lips against Yamamoto’s like his life depended on it, the taller teen smacking the back of his head against the door from the momentum. 

To Yamamoto, it was one of the most gratifying feelings he had felt in the past four months of their separation.

For their first night in Tokyo, Yamamoto and Gokudera spent their time in their hotel room becoming reacquainted with each other in every sense, the two teens exploring each other with a fiery desperation, never wanting to separate again.

The majority of their second day in Tokyo consisted of rehabilitation from their first night, more so for Gokudera than anyone else.  The two lovers stayed in bed usually, only getting up for the sake of necessities, and to answer the door for room service.  As they spent most of their time curled around each other under the covers, the two boys conversed about everything that had happened during their four month separation that they hadn’t discussed over the phone, Gokudera occasionally complaining about how they were on vacation, in Tokyo of all places, and that they couldn’t enjoy the sights because he couldn’t move.

Towards evening, Gokudera found that he **_was_** able to move again, if only with an embarrassing limp. So the two teens decided to not waste any more of their time enjoying the sights and sounds of Tokyo.  At least, the ones that were within walking distance of the hotel that is, since Gokudera complained that it hurt to sit down still, which limited them from taking any form of transportation.  With that, Yamamoto and Gokudera spent their second night in Tokyo perusing gift shops (Gokudera had to find the perfect souvenir for the Tenth and Tsuyoshi), and checking out some interesting restaurants (the two deciding on a quiet café in the end, to enjoy their evening meal).  

Their third day in Tokyo was deemed ‘Hayato day’ upon awakening.  Since the young bomber was now able to move around freely without embarrassing himself, he declared to his still groggy boyfriend that they were going to spend the day in Tokyo the way **_he_** wanted them to.  Especially after all the pain Yamamoto’s love making session had put him through (even though Gokudera had **_thoroughly_** enjoyed himself their first night there, and was looking forward to having more amazing reunion sex in the future).

Having done his research beforehand (since he had planned on having a day dedicated to him during their vacation anyway), Gokudera forced a sleepy Yamamoto out of bed to get ready for the day.  After a twenty minute bus ride (which Yamamoto spent sleeping against Gokudera’s shoulder), the two teens were dropped in front of the National Museum of Western Art.  The majority of their morning was spent their, viewing the various prestigious paintings and sculptures.  Gokudera was simply fascinated with the whole ordeal, while Yamamoto was bored out of his mind. 

In order to amuse himself with the stuffy artistic atmosphere, Yamamoto would state exactly what he saw portrayed on the paintings or sculptures—“Look Hayato!  It’s another lady in a kimono! Hahaha!”—while Gokudera huffed at him, and tried to find the hidden meanings within the art.  This entertained Yamamoto to no end, as with each passing painting or sculpture, Gokudera would raise his voice louder to yell at him, telling him to shut up if he couldn’t take viewing the art seriously.  After giving the threat that he wouldn’t allow the taller teen to touch him for the rest of the trip if he didn’t behave himself, Yamamoto stayed as quite as a mouse during the rest of their museum trip, finding a new form of entertainment through watching Gokudera’s reactions to the paintings, the smaller teen’s intense look of concentration too adorable to not watch.

After their museum visit, and a punch to the back of Yamamoto’s head (courtesy of Gokudera) for staring at him during the remainder of their viewings, and making everyone look at them funny, the two teen’s grabbed lunch at a nearby barbecue joint.  When lunch was over and done with, the two Vongola Guardians satisfied with their meal (despite fighting the whole time over who deserved more meat for going through the museum ordeal), Gokudera then forced Yamamoto to go clothes shopping with him.

That’s right, **_clothes_** shopping.

Truly believing that Gokudera was trying to make him suffer for making him unable to move for practically a whole day, Yamamoto sighed in defeat as he was brought into an interesting clothing store.  Punk-styled clothing and jewelry surrounded Yamamoto on all sides, the rain guardian completely awe-struck as he was brought into a very Gokudera-like establishment.  The taller teen was surprised that he was enjoying himself then, even though he wasn’t a fan of clothes shopping, because he found out that Gokudera wasn’t shopping for himself, he was shopping for him!  The young swordsman tried to contain the jubilant smile that crossed his face as Gokudera shuffled him around the store, holding up different assortments of clothing and accessories to the taller teen’s body with a critical eye before making his selections.  After that, it was Yamamoto’s job to try on his new assortment of ‘stylish’ clothes (Gokudera voiced that Yamamoto really needed to add more style to his collection of flannel and sports hoodies).  At first, the taller teen was a little uncomfortable with his new attire, because everything was so tight fitting, but after he walked out of the dressing room to present himself to his lover, Yamamoto didn’t find his new clothes bad in any sense once he witness Gokudera’s jaw practically fall to the floor.

Yamamoto had on a tight-fitting, dark blue, long-sleeved shirt, with a punk-styled emblem taking up a corner of it, tight fitting blue jeans, that occasionally had a few rips in them along with white wash, a brown studded belt with two silver chains hanging from it, and simple black rubber bracelets and necklaces adorning his body along with his Vongola Gear.  The young athlete gave his companion a confident smirk, noticing the silent glint of approval in Gokudera’s passionate irises. 

After paying for the new set of clothes, and giving the female store clerks the evil eye for staring so openly at his boyfriend, Gokudera forced Yamamoto into the changing room again to put his new clothes back on, announcing that they would come into use for their next destination.

To Yamamoto’s complete surprise, their next destination was a club. 

The young athlete was utterly shocked by this. How were they supposed to get in when they were only nineteen?  Yamamoto was even more astonished when the burly bouncer at the front of the club actually allowed them entry, Gokudera just having to mention their names in order for the intimidating man to step aside.  It wouldn’t be until the following morning that the taller teen would learn that Gokudera had gotten them passes into the club by using their Vongola connections.

The tall swordsman was still confused though when they entered the dim establishment, his senses soon overpowered by booming music and flashing lights.  Even with his visibility severely weakened by the dark surroundings, Yamamoto could still sense the hungry eyes of women **_and_** men, the older people in the club eyeing him and his smaller companion like pieces of candy.  A ripple of nervousness ran down the taller teen’s spine as he became aware of this, the young athlete also noticing how Gokudera seemed completely unfazed with their new surroundings.

As the strobe lights flashed around the room, making every person in the club look like moving shadows, Yamamoto barely caught the seductive smirk Gokudera sent his way.

“Hey, Idiot!  Can you dance?” The young Italian shouted over the blasting rave music.

Yamamoto could feel arousal turn within him as he caught the look on his older lover’s face, the other’s question very alluring to the taller teen.

“Heh, yeah!” The swordsman shouted back over the music with a slight chuckle, a predatory glint in his eye as he stared heatedly into his lover’s irises.

Gokudera just smirked before grabbing hold of the taller teen’s shirt, and pulling him onto the dance floor.  Yamamoto was a little unsure of what to do at first, the taller teen feeling a little claustrophobic with all of the other dancers bumping against him as Gokudera led him to an open bit of floor, but when he caught the heated glare of his lover as they stopped at their destination, the other silently demanding for Yamamoto to keep his eyes **_only_** on him, all of Yamamoto’s worries washed away as they began to move. 

Yamamoto didn’t know how long they danced.  For all he knew, it could have been hours or even just minutes, but all that he could see was Gokudera twisting and turning around him, and the swivel of the other’s alluring hips. And all he could feel was the touch of his beloved bomber as he bumped and grinded against him, sending electrical shocks of pleasure coursing through the taller teen’s body.  With their heavy breathes mingling, their bodies glistening with sweat, and their eyes hungry for each other, Yamamoto wasn’t all too surprised when their dancing abruptly ended, and Gokudera was gripping his arm like a vice, the smaller teen pulling him out of the sea of dancers in his rush to leave the premises. 

The two teens didn’t even make it back to their hotel. Gokudera didn’t even **_bother_** trying to get back to it.  The smaller teen just found the nearest hotel, paid for a room up front, and the next thing that Yamamoto knew was that he was being pushed into a room, and onto a single, king-sized bed, the door slamming in their wake.

That night, the third night they spent in Tokyo, Yamamoto finally let Gokudera have his way with him.

When the morning of their fourth day in Tokyo approached, Yamamoto could only lay in his new hotel bed, completely dazed because of the previous night’s events.  The taller teen’s lower half ached liked something fierce, but that didn’t bother him too much; Yamamoto having just experienced one of the most exciting nights he could ever remember.  Last night, the young athlete had learned many things about himself and his partner.  One was that Gokudera was violently passionate when he made love, and the other was that Yamamoto found out that he was strangely masochistic. 

As those thoughts rolled around in the young athletes head while he looked himself over, fascinated by the numerous amounts of love bites all over his skin, the raven-haired teen barely registered his companion stirring next to him, a satisfied smile adorning the storm guardian’s face.

“Yamamoto-san will be disappointed when we tell him that he missed capturing the morning after I topped,” the silver-haired teen purred out with a smirk as he got up and stretched from the foreign bed, loving how he wasn’t the one in pain for once.

The aching rain guardian just smiled wistfully in return, a grimace crossing his features for a bit as he turned around on the bed to face his lover.

“Well, I guess we will just have to reenact the moment for him then, right?”  Yamamoto replied smoothly, not at all hiding the suggestion in his tone.

Gokudera raised an eyebrow at that, his eyes shining with interest.

“You really want your dad videotaping how pitiful you look the morning after?” The silver-haired teen teased lightly, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“Well, a first is a first, right? I don’t want to upset my dad, even though this is a bit embarrassing, haha!” The younger teen admitted with a humorous laugh, not at all bothered by their conversation. 

After rolling his eyes at the other’s words, the young Italian got up, and helped Yamamoto to get ready for the day.  Despite the pain the taller teen was in, he went along with trying to get around, because he and Gokudera had plans that day that they couldn’t get out of.  Since his dad was the person paying for their trip, and because he had also paid for the baseball tickets currently resting within the raven-haired teen’s pocket, there was no way that Yamamoto would miss traveling to the Tokyo Dome to watch the Tokyo Giants play.

Even though it was difficult to get around, Yamamoto managed somehow, enjoying his time to the fullest with his little lover.  Before the game started, the taller teen and his smaller companion perused the various souvenirs offered within the dome.  Having a new set of clothes from the day before, Yamamoto then decided it was only fair to spice up Gokudera’s punk orientated closet with some jock memorabilia.  After buying his little lover a baseball jersey and cap, and ‘forcing’ him to wear them during the game, Yamamoto bought some concessions before he and Gokudera made their way to their seats.

The majority of their fourth day in Tokyo was spent at the baseball game, Yamamoto’s enthusiasm for his favorite sport never waning even when the hard stadium seats were starting to hurt his already sore bottom.  Gokudera, on the other hand, couldn’t get into the game even if he wanted to.  He honestly hated baseball, and didn’t find it amusing in any way.  The only reason he would find even a small interest in the sport, or the only time he would be entertained, was if Yamamoto was playing (he would die before he would admit that though). 

A small blush coming to his cheeks, the silver-haired bomber glanced to his side to see his lover completely engrossed into the game, his hazel eyes dancing with excitement.  A small, affectionate smile spread across Gokudera’s lips as he continued to watch his lover, who was oblivious to his stare.  If Yamamoto would find amusement by staring at him during their trip through the museum, then what was wrong if Gokudera did the same here? 

Sadly, the smaller teen didn’t get to enjoy himself like he had planned, because he wasn’t the only one staring at his idiotic lover.  It seemed that every girl within a five seat radius was eyeing him up too, their boyfriends too engrossed in the game to notice their girlfriends’ wandering eyes. 

Gokudera had the strongest urge to blow something up then.

The young Italian’s blood lust only increased when one of the girls, who apparently didn’t have a boyfriend, started chatting it up with Yamamoto with abandon, completely ignoring the icy glare of death Gokudera was sending her way.  Naturally, since Yamamoto was a nice person (and a complete idiot!), he didn’t realize that the woman was flirting with him, and talked with her out of courtesy.  Feeling his eye twitch in irritation, Gokudera decided to rectify the situation by declaring a bathroom break, the feisty Italian grabbing Yamamoto by his shirt, and dragging the surprised swordsman along.  Gokudera knew that he actually couldn’t **_blow_ ** anything up at the moment, because he knew that Yamamoto would stop him, but he had ** _another_** idea in mind that he was entirely sure that the taller teen wouldn’t be able refuse.

The silver-haired teen was relieved to note that the public bathroom was empty at the moment, because the baseball game was coming to a close.  Of course, the only reason why he knew that, since he wasn’t originally paying attention to the game, was because Yamamoto kept whining that he didn’t have to go the bathroom, and that his favorite player was up to bat at the bottom of the eighth.  Gathering his resolve for what he was about to do (he wasn’t happy with his decision in the slightest, since he found the act quite disgusting, but he couldn’t think of any other alternative at the moment to show his idiot of a boyfriend who exactly he **_belonged_** to.  Yamamoto was still recovering from last night, after all.), the irritated storm guardian pushed Yamamoto into the nearest stall, and joined him soon afterwards, locking the door behind him.

In the couple minutes that followed, Yamamoto’s complaints were replaced by semi-stifled moans that the taller teen failed in trying to conceal, despite his best efforts.  When Gokudera was done getting his point across, the still irritated bomber left the stall, and yelled at his idiot of a boyfriend to clean himself up and meet him outside.  That’s where a dazed Yamamoto (he still had no idea why Gokudera had suddenly got so… ** _possessive_** ), found him a minute later, the smaller teen washing his mouth out vigorously in a nearby drinking fountain.  As he watched his smaller companion continuously rinse his mouth out, and spit the contents back into the fountain, earning disapproving glares from mothers passing by with their children, the taller teen couldn’t resist asking his beloved about their moment in the bathroom, knowing that the other didn’t like doing **_that_** particular service in the first place.

All Yamamoto got for an answer was a jealous glare from icy, jade-green eyes as the storm guardian stomped away and back to their seats. Gokudera was furious.  If Yamamoto couldn’t see that he allowed himself to do things that made him feel uncomfortable in the first place, so that he could make the taller teen feel good and show the idiot that he loved him, then what was the point?!  Why did he have to pick such a complete idiot for a boyfriend! 

Heaving a sigh, Yamamoto followed behind his pissed off partner, knowing that he had screwed up in some way.  For the rest of the game, the taller teen made a point to ignore the fawning girls around him (he had finally realized as to why Gokudera was giving him the silent treatment now), and tried to enjoy the rest of the game, despite the pouting nineteen-year-old beside him.

After the game finished with the Tokyo Giants winning on their home field, Yamamoto insisted on letting Gokudera decide where they would eat dinner that night.  The little Italian was only too quick to take up the other’s offer, and showed the way to a very expensive looking sushi shop.  Yamamoto could feel the hole in his wallet grow steadily bigger as he watched his lover order the most expensive things off the menu, a pissed-off glare sent his way for added emphasis.  The silver-haired teen must have noticed the absolutely pathetic look his taller companion was giving him as he apologized for forcing Gokudera to go to the baseball game, and for letting the girls flirt with him, because when their expensive, but absolutely delicious meal was over with, Gokudera offered to split the bill, knowing that he **_might_** have overreacted (like hell he would actually admit it!).

When the two teens finally made it back to their original hotel room, and after they prepared themselves for bed, Yamamoto wrapped his arms around his lover’s stomach as they lay under the covers.  Gokudera lay with his back towards his taller companion, too embarrassed to turn around, and curl up against him after the girlish hissy fit he pulled that day.  The guilt in the smaller teen’s gut only intensified when he noticed Yamamoto lean his head over his shoulder to kiss him on the cheek, and to also add another kiss onto the promise ring that glistened from the chain around his neck. 

“S-Sorry,” the silver-haired teen mumbled out in embarrassment, hoping that Yamamoto wouldn’t force him to elaborate on what exactly he was sorry for.

The raven-haired athlete just smiled into his lover’s neck, kissing the porcelain skin before he decided to speak.

“It’s alright,” Yamamoto started out with a mirthful chuckle, knowing exactly what Gokudera was talking about.  “I didn’t mind really.  You’re really sexy when you’re jealous after all, haha!”

Gokudera blushed a vibrant crimson at the compliment, not sure on what to say in retaliation to such an embarrassing scenario.

Noticing how uncomfortable and flustered his lover was becoming, Yamamoto just kissed the top of the silver-haired teen’s head.

“Let’s just get some sleep, Hayato.  We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.” And with that, the taller teen curled up against Gokudera’s back, and nodded off to sleep.

Their fourth night in Tokyo was spent with Gokudera lying awake for most of the night, anxious for the next day to arrive.  Tomorrow was the day he had been preparing for, for the past four months.  When the sun rose again, they would spend most of the day going on a tour of historic landmarks across the city and country side, and when evening finally approached, Gokudera would finally be able to see the hotel where Yamamoto met his mother.  

* * *

 

Gokudera took in a steady breath as he stared up at the elaborate four star hotel in front of him, Yamamoto coming to stand beside him after he had paid the cab fare.  The raven-haired teen glanced towards his anxious partner, worry filling his hazel-eyes.  The majority of their fifth day in Tokyo consisted of taking a tour to visit historic landmarks, and during this little trip around the city, Yamamoto had come to notice how distant and distracted Gokudera seemed to be.  The young athlete was pretty sure that his silver-haired companion didn’t even remember the places they visited that morning.  Of course, Yamamoto knew that he really couldn’t blame Gokudera for being absent minded when he knew that the both of them were going to visit the hotel where he had met Gokudera’s mother later on that evening.

Speaking of the hotel, Gokudera had actually been the one to plan the whole thing out.  The feisty storm guardian had called Yamamoto about a month ago, stating that they would be going to visit the hotel (their main objective being the restaurant where his mother had played the piano), in the evening of their fifth day in Tokyo.  Yamamoto remembered being surprised by the specific date, but his silver-haired lover went on to explain that he had gotten in contact with the restaurant’s owner, and after talking things over with him, stating that he was Gokudera Kazumi’s son, the owner agreed to meet them there in the restaurant lobby with his wife.

Seeing that Gokudera’s anxiousness about their meeting with the restaurant owner was still going strong as they stood upon the busy street, the millions of flashing lights of shops and nightlife attractions glowing around them, Yamamoto placed his hand upon the nervous teen’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.  There was a reason as to why his lover was so nervous about the meeting.  If the taller teen remembered correctly, Gokudera had said that the wife of the restaurant owner and his grandmother (obviously from his mother’s side), were childhood friends back in Italy, and had moved to Japan together to get away from their old lives.  There, in Tokyo, Japan to be exact, they met their husbands, both of which were growing business men.  Since the husbands knew each other, and were, in fact, classmates from the same college, the two families became natural friends, and decided to open their own business together. Gokudera’s Grandfather went into the hotel industry, while his grandparents’ friend joined him in opening classy European-styled restaurants specific to that branch of hotel.  The two families prospered in this line of work, but sadly, his grandparents’ friends were not able to prosper in other respects, and were unable to have any children.  Because of that, the restaurant owner and his wife became very close to Gokudera’s mother, who was the only child born from his grandparents.  In fact, the restaurant owner and his wife were considered to be an aunt and uncle for Gokudera’s mother, since they were such good friends of the family. 

Yamamoto remembered how nervous his precious lover sounded that night he told them of their planned meeting with the restaurant couple.  The owner had seemed skeptical that Gokudera was, in fact, the son of Gokudera Kazumi, even though he knew that she had sent her only child away to live with his father in Italy because of her illness.  But yet, the owner had sounded hopeful, too, and had declared that both he and his wife were utterly devastated at the death of Kazumi, and of their old time friends, who had died roughly ten years later in a car crash.  When Yamamoto heard that, and as he remembered it now, he could tell why Gokudera would be so nervous to meet his grandparents’ friends.  It was almost like how the smaller teen craved to make Tsuna and his father happy.  Gokudera wanted to be seen as good enough for the people he respected, and he didn’t want to disappoint them.

Taking a couple steps forward, Yamamoto turned to look back towards his anxious partner, sending a comforting smile his way.  When pale-emerald eyes met his, the taller teen witnessed how the smaller teen held his gaze, the nervousness in his eyes fading away to be replaced with resolve.  With more confidence in his stride, Gokudera caught up with Yamamoto, and walked beside him as they finally entered the hotel. 

Once inside, Yamamoto couldn’t help but be amazed by the beautiful artistry and atmosphere the hotel lobby presented him.  Even though he had seen it before, the European architecture and ornate decorations surrounding him were simply breathtaking to behold, and as the taller teen glanced towards his smaller companion, he could tell that Gokudera was just as awe-struck as he was.  As they made their way into the restaurant, the dimly lit establishment giving off an air of intimacy and sophistication, the two teens could hear the tinkle of a piano’s keys in the background above the din of quite conversations the customers were engaging in.

Gokudera seemed to be frozen in that moment as he stood in the middle of the restaurant’s lobby, taking everything in.  Yamamoto couldn’t help but smile at that as he gave his companion a gentle nudge with his shoulder to grab his attention.

Startled out of his awe-struck stupor, the silver-haired teen glanced up towards his partner, and raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

“Do you see that large, circular couch over there?” Yamamoto asked with a soft smile and a nod of his head in the direction of the sofa, his voice matching the quite atmosphere surrounding them.  “That’s where I talked with your mother, and where she gave me your letter and promise ring.”

Out of instinct at the mention of the precious ring held around his neck, one of Gokudera’s hands unconsciously came up to grasp the ring within his slim fingers as the smaller teen turned to take in the sight of the couch.  It was almost unbelievable that the same couch was present even after seventeen years had passed.

Before the young Italian could actually comment on the possibility of the couch being the same one from Yamamoto’s memory, an old couple caught his eye.  The two senior citizens were sitting upon the same exact couch, and when the couples’ curious eyes met the questioning orbs of Gokudera’s, all time seemed to stand still as the three of them stared at each other in wonder.

Interested about what had caught his lover’s eye, Yamamoto turned his attention towards the older couple too, just in time to see the woman of the pair rise to her feet, her hands coming up to cover her mouth in complete shock as she stared at Gokudera in astonishment.  On shaking feet, the older woman moved closer to them, her eyes shining with disbelief as she eyed Gokudera from head to toe, soft Italian words trembling from her lips in a form of a question.  Yamamoto only raised an eyebrow in confusion to the foreign language coming from the old woman, but Gokudera obviously understood, and replied back in his native tongue, the smaller teen’s voice shaking slightly also, but out of nervousness. 

The raven-haired teen had no idea what his smaller companion had said to the grey-haired woman, but all of a sudden, the woman cried out, a joyful expression appearing on her face as tears of happiness streamed from her eyes.  Before Yamamoto could even bat an eye, the Italian woman was hugging his little bomber with all of her might, and kissing his cheeks in greeting as Italian flowed rapidly from her lips.  Gokudera appeared a little dazed by the sudden touches of affection, but replied to the older woman’s questions, leaving Yamamoto completely in the dark as to what was going on. 

Around this time, the woman’s husband (definitely of Japanese descent), made his way over to them, taking Gokudera’s hand into a firm grip as tears flowed from his eyes as well, a huge smile upon his face.

“My wife is right,” the older man stated with happiness.  “You definitely look like your mother, Gokudera-san.”

From that, Yamamoto finally obtained his answer as to who the two senior citizens were.  The taller teen couldn’t help but smile at the image in front of him then, the scene looking very much like an overdue family reunion. 

It wasn’t too long after the older man’s words that Gokudera properly introduced himself, and Yamamoto (stating that he was his friend, of course), and showed the older couple his mother’s promise ring, just in case they still had any doubt.  The jubilation in the room was almost contagious as the happy smiles of the older couple almost flew off their faces while they took turns holding the ring, remembering it from their times spent with Gokudera Kazumi before her passing.  More hugs from the Italian woman were met after that, her Japanese husband offering for Gokudera and Yamamoto to join them for a free meal in their restaurant as the older woman coddled the smaller teen like he was her own grandson (Gokudera looking slightly uncomfortable from the attention, but Yamamoto could tell that he was secretly liking it).

As they were treated to a fabulous meal, Gokudera and Yamamoto shared stories of their lives with the couple (excluding the mafia parts, of course), telling them everything that they asked about, from their past lives, to how they were currently doing.  Yamamoto was surprised that the older couple seemed to be just as interested in him as they were in Gokudera too, but he could tell that they didn’t want any information left out about the smaller teen.  Both of the seniors wanted to know the friends Gokudera kept in his company. 

It was also over their exquisite dinner that the older couple didn’t hesitate to share stories of Gokudera’s mother and his grandparents, Yamamoto noting the hunger in his lover’s eyes as he silently implored the older couple to continue, permanently burning the stories into his memory with an air of desperation.

The meeting with the older couple was such a wonderful experience, that both the teens, and the seniors, were a little upset when their meal was finished.  To everyone’s surprise, though, before the older couple could bid their goodbyes at their now empty table (the busboys had come to clean their table already), Gokudera had a request to make. 

“Thank you for your wonderful hospitality,” the silver-haired teen stated with more politeness than Yamamoto had ever seen from him, his eyes shining with gratitude, and a gentle smile on his lips. 

“I’m really glad I was able to meet the two of you, but if you don’t mind, there is one more thing I want to ask from you.”  Gokudera paused for a bit, collecting himself as his eyes filled with determination. 

“You see, my mother wrote a letter for me.  And in that letter, she stated that she had written a song for me, and that I should look it up to see if I remembered it from my childhood when she would come over to the mansion during holidays and play it for me.  After some searching, and thoroughly listening to everything she had composed during her time as a famous pianist, I was able to find the song she was talking about.”

“I didn’t remember it at first,” Gokudera let out with a soft chuckle, his eyes becoming distant as a far off memory played behind them.  “But as I listened to it over and over again, since that particular song had a strange pull on me, I was gradually able to remember that, that was the song she was referring to.  I haven’t played the piano in years since I found out about my mother’s death, but for the past couple of months, that song had inspired me to take up playing the piano again, and I have been practicing playing that song nonstop.  What I’m trying to get at here is that…well…”

The young Italian averted his eyes away shyly for a moment, before he finally shared what was on his mind.

“I was wondering…” The silver-haired teen uttered softly, his jade-green eyes shaking from the question on his lips.  “I was wondering if I could get your permission to play it for you here?”

Everyone’s eyes widened in shock to the smaller teen’s request.

“But you don’t have any sheet music with you,” Yamamoto stated in confusion, his hazel eyes looking upon his beloved bomber in wonder.

Yamamoto would never forget the smile Gokudera sent his way then, the other’s lips molded into a soft, affectionate smile.

“That’s because I know the song by heart now, Idiot,” Gokudera said with a light chuckle.  “Don’t you want me to play?  I distinctly remember you saying that you always wanted to hear me play the piano.”

The taller teen could only smile at that, a look of pure happiness and excitement on his face.  He was surprised that Gokudera had remembered his request from so long ago.  Had Gokudera actually planned on doing this, not just for his mother, but for him as well?

“Of course I do!” The raven-haired teen exclaimed in his excitement as he glanced towards the older couple, his eyes silently begging them to allow his lover to play.

The young athlete’s gaze was met with complete understanding and just as excited gazes from the senior citizens.  The older woman even thanked Gokudera in Japanese (she was fluent in both languages from her time living there), for such a thoughtful idea, having a feeling that the smaller teen wanted to commemorate their meeting with a tribute to his mother.  Yamamoto thought so too, knowing that his precious little lover wanted nothing more than to play on the piano his mother was playing when she gave them her promise ring.

After the older man conversed with the current pianist about the situation, Gokudera was offered to take his place for his one song. Yamamoto and the older couple watched in anticipation as Gokudera finally took the stage.

* * *

 

Gokudera took steadying breaths as he sat upon the polished black piano bench, his delicate fingers lightly resting upon the ivory keys.  As he closed his eyes, the notes that he had been practicing for the last four months came to mind, and a gentle smile graced his lips as if he was meeting an old friend.  Remembering the reasons as to why he had wanted to play this particular song, his fingers pressed gently down on the first set of keys, a whimsical music box melody beginning to play.

As each note was pressed, a long forgotten memory played behind the silver-haired teen’s eyes.  In truth, he remembered a certain memory every time he had practiced the song.  At first, the memory had been faint, almost indiscernible, but with each practice it became clearer, like the lifting of a fog.  And that very moment, as Gokudera started to play his mother’s song on the piano, the song meant for him, that very same memory returned to him as his fingers instinctively moved to the right keys, the words of a lullaby his mother had sung to him beginning to play in his memory, her soft, angelic voice echoing throughout his head.  He wouldn’t sing the words himself, since he felt that his voice wouldn’t do hers justice, but he would play the piano nonetheless as he thought over the meaning behind her words.

_…The smile that wavers behind your tears,_

_Is the promise of the world,_

_Since the beginning of time_ …

* * *

 

A two-year-old Gokudera fidgeted in his new Christmas suite that his and Bianchi’s mother had bought for him. The pristine, white, buttoned up shirt, the coal-black tail coat and shorts, the vibrant red bowtie, and his knee high white socks and polished black dress shoes were very uncomfortable for the little boy who was wearing them, a perpetuate frown making its way onto his face.

That frown quickly flipped into a smile though when he heard the doors to the piano room open, the little toddler wiggling upon the piano bench in excitement as he saw a woman with beautiful silver locks of hair enter the room, a sweet smile on her face, and an adoring twinkle in her eyes.

“ _It’s nice to see you again, Hayato_ ,” the angelic-looking woman softly greeted with motherly affection.

_…Even though I’m alone now with our yesterday…_

The little boy had always wondered why the woman always called him that, when his name was Constantine.  In truth, he hated being called anything other than that, because the other kids within the mansion always called him different names, and those were usually bad ones.  He made an exception in this case though, knowing that the woman called him that particular name as a term of endearment.  And really, what more could any lonely toddler ask for than for someone to call him by an affectionate name?

 “ _Hi, Miss Piano Lady_!” The silver-haired boy exclaimed with enthusiasm, not remembering the other woman’s name because of its foreign sound. With a jubilant hop off the lowered piano bench he was sitting on, Little Gokudera ran over to the awaiting woman, hugging her legs through her frilly, red and white Christmas dress.

“ _I’ve been practicing just like you asked me to_!” The two-year-old stated with pride, his pale-green eyes begging for loving praise he barely received.

With a pleased smile, the silver-haired woman stooped down, and sifted her fingers through the little boy’s matching hair.

… _This day is born aglow, like the first time we spoke_ …

“ _That’s great, Hayato_!” The older woman stated with fondness, her green eyes twinkling with happiness as she bestowed the toddler with a special smile she only showed to him; the smile of a loving mother.  “ _Why don’t you show me how much you have improved_?”

With a cry of glee, Little Gokudera let go of the woman’s dress, and ran off towards the piano once again, his tiny arms held up like the wings of an airplane, stiff with anticipation, and eager to please the woman who treated him so kindly.

The older woman could only giggle at how cute the little child was acting.

… _Somehow I lost you_ …

“ _You seem more happy than usual, Hayato_ ,” the silver-haired woman noted with mild curiosity.  “ _Did something good happen since the last time I paid you a visit_?”

Gokudera’s little body stopped abruptly before the piano bench, the tiny toddler quickly twisting around to nod his head enthusiastically, his small fists clenched to his chest in excitement, and his jade-green eyes shaking with newfound happiness.

“ _Mm-hm_!” The little bow stated with his nod, his eyes teaming with pure joy.  “ _I made my first friend_!”

A dazzling smile made its way onto the older woman’s lips at the young toddler’s words.

… _Among all my memories_ …

“ _That’s so great, Hayato_!” The woman exclaimed with motherly affection, truly happy for the smaller boy’s happiness.  “ _Can I meet this new friend of yours_?”

As those words met the toddler’s ears, the most heart wrenching expression appeared on his face.  The happiness in the older woman’s irises quickly transformed into concern at the drastic change in mood the younger boy went through, witnessing how the little one bowed his head in sadness as one of his fists came up to rub at his eyes.

 “ _N-No_ …” Little Gokudera stuttered out as tears started to well in his jade-green orbs, his little fist rubbing furiously at his unmanly reaction (his dad said that it was shameful for boys to cry).  

… _You brush pass my face softly as the breeze_ …

“ _And why can’t I see your friend_?” The Piano Lady asked kindly as she stooped down to the crying child’s level, her dark-emerald eyes searching out his.

 “ _Y-You won’t believe me_ …” Little Gokudera sniffled out pitifully.  “ _No one believes me_.  _They say that I made him up_.”

 “ _Well_ …” The older woman started unsurely, her expression saddening at the pain the little boy was going through.  “ _I can’t believe you either unless you try to tell me_.  _You never know until you try, right_?  _I know that you wouldn’t lie to me, Hayato_.”

At that, the little silver-haired boy’s eyes lit up at the recognition.  It was true.  He would never lie to this woman, who treated him with such kindness.  With his tears beginning to dry, and a small smile adorning his face, the little child went on to tell his tale about how he teleported to a different house one day, and met a bunch of people who spoke a funny language.  But thankfully, one of the older people there translated everything that everyone was saying to him.  Everyone had looked funny also; all of them wearing strange clothes he had never seen before.  He had even seen his sister Bianchi, but she was all grown up, and more scary looking than usual!  But it was there that he met another little boy around his age, one with spiky, black hair, and a really stupid sounding laugh. They became really good friends, even though they didn’t start off too well, and even though they had only spent the day together.

… _Though we slipped apart_ …

After hearing the unbelievable story, a look of recognition dawned in the older woman’s eyes as she heard the description of Gokudera’s newfound friend.

“ _Oh, really_?”  The silver-haired woman asked with a tone of acceptance, a curious tremble to her voice.  “ _And what was this little boy’s name_?”

The silver-haired toddler frowned at this as he bowed his head in thought, one of his fists coming up to his mouth as the other hand cradled his elbow.

… _Like sunlight slipping through the leaves_ …

 “ _It was really weird sounding, like your name_ …” The little boy muttered behind his fist, his brow crinkling with extreme concentration.  “ _It was_ … _Ya-something_ …”

The silver-haired woman giggled knowingly, the smile on her face growing with eagerness at the words she was about to tell the little child, having just met that very same person (if only his older self), just yesterday.  The Ten-Year-Bazooka was such an amazing contraption.

“ _Do you mean, Yamamoto_?” She stated with her knowledgeable smile.

The little toddler’s eyes widened in recognition, his tiny body bouncing with excitement as the name reached his ears.

… _The promise of love will live on eternally_ …

“ _Yeah, that’s it_!  _It was Yamamoomoo—or whatever you said_!” Little Gokudera exclaimed joyfully.  “ _But how did you know his name_?”

The older woman just smiled secretly at that.

 “ _Well, that’s because I have met him before_.  _He had spiky-black hair, tan skin, really pretty hazel eyes, and a silly sounding laugh, right_?  _He was a very kind boy, and very friendly_.”

… _Even though I’m alone now_ …

Little Gokudera’s eyes widened to epic proportions from the taller woman’s accurate description, completely amazed by what he had just heard. 

“ _Yes_!  _Yes, that’s him_!” The little toddler shouted in victory, the happiness he was feeling overflowing from him as he jumped up and down enthusiastically.  “ _See_?  _I really didn’t make him up_!”

But just as quickly as the little child’s happiness came, it was soon replaced with a sad, contemplative look.

“ _Do_ … _Do you think I will ever see him again_?” Little Gokudera asked quietly, almost longingly.  “ _I miss him_ …”

… _My tomorrows are boundless_ …

The silver-haired woman just gave the wondering tot her most comforting smile as she reached out to pet the little boy’s hair in a soothing manner.

“ _Yes, I’m certain you will_ ,” the older woman ascertained with her angelic smile.

But even with that, the little boy still appeared doubtful.

… _Like the kindness you showed me_ …

“ _How do you know that_?” He innocently asked with pure curiosity shining in his eyes.

The Piano Lady just gave another one of her knowing smiles, an affectionate twinkle in her eye. 

“ _Oh, just call it intuition_.”

The silver-haired toddler frowned at that, not understanding the word she had used.

… _Hidden in the night_ …

 “ _But…what if it takes a long time and I forget about him before I meet him again_?” Little Gokudera questioned again, a note of despair in his voice at the thought of forgetting about the only friend he had ever made. 

The older woman’s eyes shook in contemplation for a moment before she responded.

“ _Hayato, do you remember the song I sang for you on your birthday a few months back_?” The beautiful woman asked gently, her eyes imploring the other to remember.

… _Somehow I lost you among all my memories_ …

The little boy scrunched up his face in confusion for only a moment before recognition dawned in his eyes once again.

“ _Yeah, I remember_!  _It was the real pretty one about promises and never forgetting, right_?”

The older woman smiled in adoration to the little boy’s cuteness, giving him her best congratulatory smile.

“ _Yes, that’s the one exactly_.  _Do you remember the words_?”

… _You will live on eternally in a brooks gentle song_ …

“ _A little, I think_ ,” Little Gokudera admitted with a slight look of shame, unhappy with his inability to recall all of the words.

The Piano Lady just gripped his shoulders gently, bestowing comfort onto the little boy with a forgiving smile.

“ _That’s alright_. _I didn’t expect you to actually remember_.  _I’m proud that you remembered even just a little bit_!”

… _In the depth of the sky_ …

The tiny toddler’s chest swelled with pride at the older woman’s praise, his eyes shining up at hers in pure adoration.  The beautiful woman smiled just as proudly in return as she thought up a plan.

“ _Hayato_?  _Would you like me to sing the song for you again_?”  The silver-haired woman asked hopefully as another thought entered her mind.  “ _And how about I sing it in your friend’s language, since I know it_?  _That way, the song will reach him, and he won’t forget about you either_?”

The little boy nodded enthusiastically at the idea, hoping that his friend would hear the beautiful song, too.  As the older woman smiled in happiness at the chance to play her special song again, and as she adjusted the piano bench to a more comfortable height, she sat down to play her piece, beckoning the little toddler to come and sit on her lap.  The tiny child was only too happy to oblige as he made himself comfortable on the kind woman’s lap, closing his eyes in contentment as the beautiful notes of the semi-familiar tune met his ears once again; the angelic sound of the woman’s voice making him feel at ease.

* * *

 

Tears begin to well up in Gokudera’s eyes as the memory replayed itself, the beautiful words of his mother sticking with him as he started to bring her song to a close.  The young Italian didn’t let his tears fall though, for they were bittersweet, just like the lullaby he was playing.  He never knew it back then, but as he looked deeper into the words his mother had written for him, he finally began to understand.  Back then, the song was her way of saying goodbye to him, for she had probably had a feeling that the moment they shared in the piano room, during his second Christmas, would probably be their last.  She knew that she would leave her only son soon, and so she had written a song for him as a memento of her, a mother’s lullaby with a message; a lesson for him to learn.  It was a lesson about how bittersweet life was. That for every happiness earned, there was also sorrow, and for every smile, there were tears.  But it was also about how love for another person could be eternal.  That even if the memories of a loved one would fade, they would still be remembered in their hearts, as part of them for the rest of their days.

… _In the scent of a flower_ …

All those thoughts played through his head as the silver-haired teen glanced towards the audience for only a moment, a small smile adorning his lips as his eyes met with Yamamoto’s, the taller boy’s hazel orbs shaking with awe as he listened to the beautiful song.  As the song finally drew to an end, Gokudera closed his eyes as a sense of peace he had never felt before washed over him.  He had planned to play this song at the restaurant for months now as a thank you to his mother, to tell her that he finally understood what she was trying to tell him back then, and to also finally share the song with the boy that she had played it for in the past, the same boy that she had promised that Gokudera would meet again, even if his memories of the other would fade with the passing of time.

When the song was done, and Gokudera stood from his seat to take a bow towards the silently grateful audience, the silver-haired teen made his way down from the stage.  There, the powerful gaze of his lover met his, the taller teen’s eyes shining with pride, and a hint of question.  Gokudera gave Yamamoto a small smile, secretly telling the other that they would talk later as he made his way over to the older couple, the old woman in tears after hearing Kazumi’s song.

After many hugs and promises to stay in contact, Gokudera and Yamamoto left the old couple in the restaurant, and headed back to their own hotel room in another part of the city. 

* * *

 

Jade green eyes stared out the hotel window into the darkened city below, the night illuminated with the glow of millions of lights, and providing the only light source within the pitch black hotel room.  Gokudera narrowed his eyes in contemplation as he took in the night scene before him, the words to his mother’s song still playing in his head. 

Before the silver-haired teen could think any more on what his mother’s words meant to him, warm, protective arms wrapped around him from behind, and a chin came to rest upon his shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?”  Yamamoto whispered into his lover’s ear, his spiky hair wet from the shower he had just taken.

Gokudera didn’t answer right away as he pressed himself back into the taller boy’s embrace, closing his eyes in contentment as his body basked in the warmth the other brought him.

“Mm…just thinking of the words to my mother’s song,” the silver-haired teen spoke quietly, feeling the intimacy of the moment.

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow at Gokudera’s words, not expecting that answer in the least.

“You mean…there were words that went along with that pretty song you played tonight?”  The taller teen spoke with slight disbelief, his tone filled with curiosity.

“That’s what I just said, you idiot,” Gokudera whispered out affectionately, chuckling slightly to himself for picking a boyfriend who always seemed to state the obvious.

“Can you sing them for me, Hayato?” The young athlete asked hopefully, his eyes dancing with excitement at the prospects of finding out the lyrics behind the beautiful lullaby he had heard his lover play just over an hour ago.

Gokudera could only scoff at that.

“Che, I don’t have much of a singing voice,” the silver-haired teen admitted, trying to get out of his lover’s request.

“Haha, it’s better than mine!” The raven-haired teen laughed jovially as he squeezed the precious Italian in his arms.  “I think you have a fine singing voice, so why don’t you sing the song for me?”

“Heh…” Gokudera gave out a light chuckle as he laughed at his own inside joke.  “I guess it’s only right, since my mother sang the song to me for the both of us.  It’s about time that you finally heard it, I guess.”

The silver-haired teen could feel his taller companion take his chin off of his shoulder then.  Curious to the movement, the silver-haired teen glanced behind him to see why Yamamoto had shifted away, and saw how the other boy looked at him then with a puzzled expression.

“Really?” He asked with slight disbelief. 

Feeling more open with himself than ever that night, Gokudera decided to share the memory he had gained back from listening to the song, the smaller teen leaning back into his lover’s hold once again as he eyed their reflection in the window.  The words tumbled from the silver-haired teen’s mouth as if they were desperate to be heard, the smaller boy describing the piano room back in his father’s mansion, and the last conversation he ever had with his mother.

“And that’s why I wanted the first song you ever heard me play to be the one I played tonight,” Gokudera finished his explanation softly.  “It was so that you could finally hear the song that my mother played for you, and me, back during my second Christmas after I had met you…”

“Hayato…” The taller teen whispered out in amazement, touched by the sentiment in the other’s words.  Yamamoto was amazed that Gokudera was being so open with him, but he supposed that the reason for that was because his lover had received some closure with the loss of his mother that night, which only made the rain guardian crave to hear the lyrics of Kazumi’s song all the more.  As Yamamoto buried his face into the crook of his lover’s neck, and held the other closer to him, he could tell that Gokudera understood his silent request, because the other boy started to sing, his voice gravely, but soothing to the taller teen’s ears.

By the time that Gokudera was finished singing, Yamamoto was deep in contemplation over the lyrics, the words filling him with hope and sadness.

“That was beautiful,” the raven-haired teen whispered lovingly into his smaller companion’s ear.

“Really?” Gokudera questioned with discomfort as he fidgeted in his lover’s hold.  “I thought I sucked.”

Yamamoto gave a surprised laugh at that as he kissed the bomber’s flushed cheek in a form of comfort.

“No, really, it was beautiful, if not a little sad,” the taller teen admitted, a wistful expression coming over his face.  “I like the message the song talks about.  That even though we might lose the memories and the people we love, we will always remember them in our hearts, because they will always be with us.”

Gokudera’s features saddened at Yamamoto words, having already experienced them twice in his life; losing the memories of his first friend, and of his mother after her death.  As the two teen’s stood there, thinking over what had been said, and watching their reflections in the window, Yamamoto noticed how one of Gokudera’s hands came up to grab hold of the promise ring hanging from his neck, his slim fingers playing with the delicate piece of jewelry absentmindedly. The raven-haired teen smiled softly at that, and held the other even tighter.

“Thank you for sharing this gift with me, Hayato,” the taller teen whispered softly in gratitude, thanking Gokudera for being so open with him, and for sharing the song.  “Is there anything I can give back to you in return?”

If this was any other time, Gokudera would have assumed that his taller lover was referring to paying him back sexually, but that didn’t seem to be the case.  The smaller teen could tell how open and honest Yamamoto was being with him in that moment, the taller teen willing to give him anything that his heart desired.

The silver-haired teen gave the reflection in the window a small smile.

“I think this is just fine,” the smaller teen spoke with certainty, referring to the position they were now in.  “This is all I need.”

Yamamoto just smiled happily in return, and did what was requested of him; holding his beloved close to him.

“I will never forget you, Hayato,” the young swordsman whispered out, a promise in his words.  “Even after I die.”

The small smile Gokudera wore wavered slightly in sadness before he responded back.

“I’ll never forget you too, Takeshi.  Never again.”

With a kiss to the young Italian’s head, the two teens went to bed.  And as they both held each other close before drifting off to sleep, they knew that they had two more days left in Tokyo before they would spend the rest of their vacation in Namimori with their friends.  The two of them knew they had a lot to look forward to in the days ahead of them, and a lot of worries too, but both Gokudera and Yamamoto knew that they could persevere in whatever trials came their way.

Their fifth night in Tokyo was spent wrapped up in each other’s arms, their promise ring lying between them, glinting happily in the moonlight with a newfound promise.

* * *

 

  **Four Years Later**  


Tsuna, the Tenth Generation boss of the Vongola Family, walked briskly down the hall of the Vongola Headquarters, a stack of important documents in his hand.  He knew that it was Gokudera’s day off, but he just needed his right-hand man to co-sign some documents.  After that, Tsuna would be work free for the rest of the evening, the spiky-haired man planning on spending the rest of the day with Gokudera, since the silver-haired man had been depressed as of late. 

The young mafia boss couldn’t really blame his best friend for wallowing about for the past couple of months. After all, Yamamoto was taking a year off to play in the majors, and was now the star player of the Tokyo Giants!  His right-hand man hardly had any time to go and visit his fiancée because of their hectic schedules. Yamamoto was constantly training, and Gokudera was constantly pushing papers, and trying not to get him and his comrades killed.

Tsuna sighed a little at the thought, missing his tall, happy friend, too.  But all thoughts of Yamamoto he had quickly flew out the window the moment he got to Gokudera’s room.  The young boss froze as he heard Gokudera speaking from the other side of the door.

“Come on, Takeshi…”

At first, Tsuna thought that his friend was talking to Yamamoto over the phone, but his Hyper Intuition was telling him otherwise, noting how the older man’s voice was stiff, like he was trying to hold himself back from being too loud, and his words were coming out as a hiss.

“Come on, come on…”

Tsuna shifted a bit uncomfortably as he heard his friend speak faster.  What was Gokudera-kun doing?  Should he knock on the door?

“Yes!” The silver-haired man shouted from the other side of the door.  “That’s it!  Don’t stop, you idiot!  Keep going!”

A heavy blush marred the young Vongola boss’s features as he figured out what his friend was probably doing.  Deeming that he shouldn’t interrupt his friend’s…alone time (Gokudera had been looking rather lonely as of late, and what healthy man wouldn’t want to release their pent up frustration?), Tsuna high-tailed it out of there, almost tripping over his own feet, and breaking a million dollar vase in his haste to evacuate the area.  The papers could definitely wait!

Behind the door of the Vongola Storm Guardian’s room, the lights were off, and the curtains were drawn, the only source of light coming from the big screen TV.  The volume on the television was turned down to the point that Gokudera himself could barely hear it, since he didn’t want any passersby to figure out what he was doing.  Of course, the young silver-haired man didn’t take into consideration that people passing by could hear his hollering.

“Yes!  Homerun!” Gokudera roared in triumph, fist pumping the air from his position on the couch, a Tokyo Giants jersey adorning his torso, and a matching baseball cap placed backwards on top of his head. 

The young man blushed in embarrassment after realizing how loud he was as the television showcased an older Yamamoto  being high-fived by his teammates after gaining another point for his team, a blinding smile on his face.  From then on, Gokudera tried to keep his supportive comments to himself, not wishing for others to come by and investigate what was going on. 

He would die from embarrassment if anyone found out his secret pass-time.

 

 

 

 


End file.
